Chapter 15
AURORA
Ididn’t get any sleep for the rest of the night. I lie in bed, thinking about what we did. How could I let that happen? One second, I woke terrified from a nightmare and saw the same nightmare-fueled fear on his face.
Then he was touching me, and it was like nothing else mattered. When he pushed his hand against my naked sex, I couldn’t think about the deal, about Grandma, about responsibility. He was just sir, and I was his plaything, and somehow, that was so, so sweet.
I’m not sure if he’s slept either. At around seven, he stands up, stretching his arms over his head.
“I’m going to take a shower and then walk the grounds,” he says. “You should probably join me. We’ll be the lovers who want to take in the beauty of the morning now that the storm has paused. Everyone will see how in love we are. How addicted to each other we are.”
He speaks in a deadpan voice laced with irony.
“Sounds good,” I mutter.
He leaves the room without looking at me.
Forty minutes later, we’re wrapped in our coats with our masks on our faces. I’ve got my arm linked through his as we go. I can almost believe we’re a real couple.
I almost prefer it when we say nothing, when I can just clutch onto his arm and feel his firmness. It means I don’t have to think about the obvious, impossible-to-ignore the fact that we’re strangers to each other.
“Woo-hoo, Raiden!” a voice calls across the grounds as we head toward the garden.
We turn to find Evangeline on the balcony of her room, waving her hand over at us. It’s difficult to make out her expression from here, but from the way she’s waving, she seems excited, borderline manic. Perhaps caught up in the Halloween festivities.
“I don’t feel very anonymous right now, Grandma,” Raiden calls back.
I laugh. He’s got a point.
“You and your lovely lady will join me for breakfast, won’t you? I won’t take no for an answer.”
“It looks like we’ve been conscripted,” Raiden says quietly, turning us back toward the house.
“We haven’t agreed on a backstory,” I whisper.
“Follow my lead,” he says. “As long as neither of us says anything that contradicts the other, we’ll be fine.”
I swallow a ball of nerves, hoping he’s right. I feel out of place in this grand place anyway, surrounded by masked people in suits that probably cost more than my tuition. As we walk up the double staircase, I let my breath come slowly, measuredly, attempting to calm the hell down.
The butler opens the door to her bedroom as we approach. The staff members are everywhere, seeming almost invisible at times, fluidly doing their job, then receding into the background. I fight the urge to say thank you, but they’re so quiet it’s like they don’t want to be acknowledged.
Evangeline is still wearing a flowing nightgown. She waves a hand as we walk across her bedroom toward the balcony. “You don’t need these silly things with me.”
It takes me a moment to realize she means the masks. I take mine off, wishing I could keep in on. It would be easier to lie with it on.
We sit around the table on her balcony. There are pastries and coffee laid out already.
“You see why I needed company?” She says, her cheeks flushed, with a youthful grin on her face. “I always order too much.”
“We’ll be happy to help,” Raiden says, reaching for a pastry. Raiden winks at me. “Don’t worry about table manners, Aurora. We might be richer than God, but luckily, we’re all pigs.” He stuffs a pastry in his mouth.
Evangeline and I laugh, exchanging a look. It’s a look that says, What’s our man like… as if we’ve got a shared history with him, and I didn’t agree to this only a few days ago.
“Raiden still hasn’t told me how you two met,” she says.
Raiden smirks in that half douche, half captivating way. “It’s an interesting story, actually,” he says.
“Good, because I hate uninteresting ones.”
“I needed some work done on a few suits over the summer. I dealt with Margot mostly, but every time I came by, Aurora found an excuse to come into the shop. It was all eyes at first. She looked at me like I was a meal, honestly.”
Evangeline laughs in delight. “A meal!”
“She was obsessed, it seemed to me,” he says, winking at me.
I know I’m supposed to go along with it, but this is just ridiculous. Obsessed with him. What planet is he on?
“It turns out your grandson let his arrogance get the better of him,” I say.
Raiden tries to hide his wince, but I see it. Relish it. Even if it could mean risking the deal.
“I just happened to be in the shop at the time. When he came onto me while my grandmother was busy, I was completely taken off-guard.”
Raiden’s cheeks color a little, but he can’t stop the corner of his lip from twitching in that near-smirk I love to hate. “I’ll admit I got ahead of myself,” he says ruefully. “I should’ve made sure I had a full grasp of the situation before I made my move.”
“What did you do?” Evangeline asks me, fascinated.
“I’m sorry, Evangeline, but I slapped your grandson.”
She claps her hands together, laughing. “Oh my, this is getting interesting.”
“Don’t sound too happy about it,” Raiden says gruffly. “After the slap, I only wanted her more. You know what the women in our lives are like, Grandma, how they throw themselves at the Blackwell name. Aurora wasn’t–isn’t–like that.”
He looks at me seriously, and I think he means that part.
“Aurora was genuine. The next time I went back, I asked her on a date.”
“You didn’t just ask me on a date, Raiden. Aren’t you going to tell the whole story?”
He raises his eyebrow at me. “And what would the whole story be exactly?”
“Aren’t you going to tell Evangeline how I said no at first, so you fell to your knees and begged me to forgive you for the kiss? It was so funny… and, honestly, cute too.”
“I did it in a joking way,” Raiden says. “Remember how you laughed, Aurora? So hard snot exploded out of your nose. You were so embarrassed.”
I smile, laugh. The charming prick. He’s trapped me.
“Yeah, that was pretty gross. I’m surprised you still wanted to date me after that.”
“It sounds like nothing could’ve stopped him from dating you,” Evangeline says, her hand on her chest. “How long have you been seeing each other?”
“A few months,” Raiden says. “A date here, a date there, though things are getting more serious lately. Right, Aurora?”
He looks at me intently, and I know that playtime is over. He needs his partner–no, his employee–to play her role to perfection now. “Yes, it’s true.”
“And you’re only telling me now, this weekend?” Evangeline says, perhaps wondering if she’s being tricked. But there’s hope in her voice. It’s like she wants to believe it, desperately needs to know her grandson has found someone.
For the first time since this started, guilt threatened to bury me.
Is it fair to trick her?
Reality check, Aurora. This isn’t my responsibility. I need the cash for Grandma. That’s all there is to it.
“I didn’t want you to get excited before I knew this, us, was going to be more than a few dates,” he says. “What if I told you then we broke up?”
“I’m just happy to see you happy… and settled for the Retreat. It’s so wonderful.”
“Thanks, Grandma,” Raiden says, shifting awkwardly in his chair. He clearly doesn’t enjoy deceiving his grandmother.
“I should be thanking you.” Evangeline beams at me. “I can’t express how happy I am to see my grandson like this. Head over heels. I never dreamed I’d see it. Have you thought about children?”
“Easy, Grandma,” Raiden says, laughing tensely. “It’s only been a few months.”
“I didn’t ask if you’re going to have them right away, did I? I merely want to know if the thought has crossed your mind. Is that so bad?”
“We haven’t discussed it,” I jump in.
This could be one step too far: promising an elderly lady she has a shot at grandkids when I’ve got no intention of ever seeing Raiden again after this weekend.
“Well… don’t wait too long.” Evangeline winks. “Listen to me! I shouldn’t pressure you. That’s not fair. Enough talk–let’s eat!”
As I take a pastry and pour a mug of coffee, my heart is hammering and my throat is suddenly dry.
I feel dirty, guilty, seedy somehow.
I push it all deep down. I can’t dwell on this.
Sure, I’m giving this sweet old lady false hope. But it’s necessary. I have to give Evangeline false hope to give my grandmother real hope.
It’s a price I’m going to have to get comfortable paying.