Chapter 6. Jude
I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. Noa is making this delicious-looking paella, but I can't even muster the strength to show that I care because I'm feeling so down and the hangover is so bad.
Even the prospect of those giant delicious shrimps can't save me.
I sigh and Noa gives me this look. He doesn't want to hear anymore about my breakup, I'm sure.
It's been a year, for God's sake. All of my friends are sick to death of me, and they're still having to put up with me. So, I just sigh, and keep quiet.
That's when I get a text from Alfie, my best friend on the entire planet.
"Glynn said you were with somebody yesterday at BratWorld. Scandalous. Tell me more."
Alfie and I see each other every day at work, remotely, but I miss him like crazy.
He's the only person in the world that truly knows how I feel.
He stopped going to BratWorld too, after his ex-Dom cheated on him.
It was proper messy. It hurts to remember how we used to go there every day of the week and weekends to have fun together.
It hurts even more to realize how long ago that was.
I'm about to start reminiscing again. I have a bad habit of doing that. It makes me depressed.
Alfie is a switch, and Glynn used to be his sub. That ended after Alfie stopped going to the club, but they never had hard feelings toward each other; they're still friends and talking. Which is great because Glynn is also my friend. But boy, do they gossip.
"He was fucking hot. Also fucking boring." I text Alfie. "He went home at eleven. Can you believe it? He was with Dave, but they're only friends. Dave says he is the guy's only friend. I'd love to meet him again, but I didn't even get the chance to get his number."
Alfie texts back right away. He usually disappears for days, and if I didn't work with him, I'd probably never see or hear from him, that bastard.
He's generally bad with technology, even though we work for an IT company.
IT and kink aren't a Venn diagram, it's a circle.
But this time he texts back fast, so I know he's interested.
"Well, we can find out more about him. I'll ask Glynn to ask Dave."
"Sure," I text back. "I could use some fun."
"Yes, you really could."
I roll my eyes at that implication, but I'm smiling.
So, that's how I end up finding out about Ford's church.
Dave was enthusiastic about telling us everything through Glynn.
He said Ford has never had a serious partner, only casual subs, and he needs to get out of the house more.
Dave gave us everything we needed: choir practice location, rehearsal time, service time.
Ford is the choir director, and apparently that's all he thinks about.
Well, I'd make him think about something else.
"You have to come with me," I tell Alfie. "I won't be brave enough to go by myself."
And that asshole answers, "Sure, I'll pick you up at 8:45 tomorrow."
He must be really keen on doing that, because we both work late.
I work until 4 AM on the night shift. He works until midnight.
Not as bad, but still not good. If he's offering to go with me like that, he knows he can't miss this opportunity.
It reminds me once again how much my close friends worry about me.
I abandoned kink and the scene and told them over and over that I'm vanilla now, that I would never be part of a dynamic again, and that I didn't need anybody. But they don't let it go.
That's how I end up in that guy's church at 9 AM, the wee hours of the morning, when I should be sound asleep.
But everything's worth it when I see his expression of pure surprise.
Ford is even more handsome here. He was beautiful in the club, but he didn't look comfortable.
Here, he's in his element. He's wearing a blazer that looks very expensive.
His beard is neatly trimmed, like he paid someone a hundred dollars to fix it for him, and I don't doubt that's the case.
His hair is perfect, silver-streaked, and I wonder how old he is.
He's getting close to his fifties or maybe he's in his mid-fifties already.
Great. A Daddy. My favorite type of men.
He has these beautiful blue eyes, and he's fit.
Besides that, he's absolutely comfortable leading the rest of the people there.
At least fifteen to twenty people are singing, and it can't be easy to control all of them at once, but he does it as if it's second nature to him.
After the initial shock of seeing me, he proceeds to ignore me and goes back to doing his thing. I don't know how any of that works, but it sounds amazing, and when he sings to demonstrate the right notes, I'm in awe. His voice is brilliant.
Alfie and I sit in the back, on those very hard wooden church benches.
I wonder if they want us to be uncomfortable in church on purpose, especially Catholic churches.
My mom always used to take me when I was younger, but we only went some Sundays, and she didn't really follow the religion very much.
We ended up dropping it eventually, which I was very grateful for, because it was a fucking bore to sit there quietly listening to how flawed we are and all of our sins.
Now that I'm older, I kind of like it. Hearing about how I did wrong and how I am going to be punished for eternity. It doesn't get better than that.
When Ford's done, he talks to a few people, shakes hands, smiles, and waits until the room is absolutely empty to even acknowledge I'm still there. Then, he comes my way. I immediately get kind of nervous. He has a commanding presence, it's impossible to ignore him when he chooses to address you.
Delicious.
Alfie and I get up. Alfie is ridiculously attractive, even more than me, in my opinion.
He could be a model or an actor easily. He's taller than me, but not by much, lean but still strong, with crazy defined muscles.
He has olive skin, brown eyes, and beautiful mustard-colored hair that he keeps short and styled to the side.
He's wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt, black jeans, and sunglasses.
Always more put together than me. As Ford approaches, Alfie takes off his sunglasses and winks at me.
"I gotta go. Nice to meet you, Daddy," he says, teasing.
He's always bolder than me. I almost ask him not to go. I want his company all the time.
"What are you doing here?" Ford asks me after the door closes and Alfie is gone. He looks really annoyed that I'm in his domain without his permission. "I know what you're doing, boy, and it's not going to work," he says.
"Yeah? What am I doing?" I ask him, and I see his cheeks flush a little.
"You're trying to get to me."
"Am I?" I ask again, faking innocence. He doesn't seem amused at all. "I want to convert, obviously. Repent. I want to be good. Let me join your class."
"Hah! Good joke. Can you even sing?" he asks, and I realize he's way more ticked off than he should be. That's going to be fun.
"Well, you'll never know if you don't give me a chance, Mr. Dom."
"Don't call me that," he hisses. "How did you find me? Wait, this was Dave, wasn't it?" He's very smart.
"I'm here to get closer to God," I say again, and he looks at me with an untrusting expression.
"Right. You don't seem like you're very religious."
"Why would you say that?" I ask. "I love to be on my knees to worship. That's pretty religious in my opinion," I say, winking.
He rolls his eyes.
"Are you aware that you look like a stalker right now?" he asks, pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed. I bite back a laugh and put my hand on my heart, pretending to be wounded.
"Wow! No, why would you say that? So mean, darling."
He raises an eyebrow. "Well, you've asked around about information from me, and you're now following me to my church, my personal space. That doesn't look very good, does it?"
"If you put it like that, it just sounds like I made a lot of effort to find you because I like you," I say, smiling, trying to look angelic. He isn't buying it, though. He raises his eyebrows and then pulls them together.
"Well, don't. It was nice meeting you, Jude, but you and I don't have anything in common."
"How do you know that?" I ask. "We barely talked. You are attracted to me. I'm attracted to you. I'm a sub, you claim to be a Dom. We are single. Why not?"
He looks very shocked that I would say it like that. "Lower your voice," he hisses, and I wonder if he's a prude. Probably. Catholic and shit. Good thing I love to corrupt people. "You are like twenty years younger than me."
"I'm twenty-eight. I'm way past the legal age. Actually, young people now call me uncle, so you don't have to worry about that."
But he's having none of that. He rolls his eyes and tries to go to the door.
"Goodbye, Jude. Maybe we'll see each other at BratWorld, but only there."
"Hell no, this is not a goodbye," I tell him.
"I told you I want to get closer to God, so I'm going to start coming to this church.
If you have any objections, you'll have to get me banned somehow.
I don't know how churches work very well, but I'm pretty sure everybody's welcome.
Or are you going to tell your shepherd or priest, or whatever religious leader you guys have, that you are forbidding me from coming to hear the word of God? "
He rolls his eyes so much that I'm pretty sure his head rolled with it.
"You know who rolls their eyes frequently, right? Brats. Maybe you aren't a Dom like you claim."
"Obviously I am," he says, his face outraged, and I can't help but giggle. I love to get on his nerves.
"Okay, perfect! So I'll see you next time. Let me sign up for the choir," I insist.
"Obviously not," he says. I knit my eyebrows together.
"Why not?!" I ask, exasperated. He looks even more exasperated than me, though.
"Because I don't even know if you have any talent, and besides that, the sign-up is closed already. You're going to have to wait until next term when we open it up again so you can do a trial. By then, I'm pretty sure you'll be out of my life. So, the answer is no."
"Wow, aren't you a grump? That's okay, I like you even so," I tell him. "I'll see you next time anyway. It is an open practice, isn't it? So, I'm welcome to stay."
"I wouldn't say welcome," he says. That guy is hard to get. Too bad for me that I like hard. "Goodbye, Jude," he repeats, even though I told him that this isn’t a goodbye in the first place.
"There's just one little thing," I tell him. "My friend Alfie left me here alone. I need a ride back. Wouldn't you be a darling and provide me with one?"
He looks absolutely shocked that I'd ask something like that. Before he says no, I hit him with my signature puppy eyes. "Pretty please?"
"Can't you call a rideshare?" he sighs.
"I mean, I could. But please? You won't leave me like that in the streets, right? Aren't you a Daddy? You wouldn't leave somebody so clueless and innocent like me alone, right? Please?"
He still looks shocked, but he sighs. I see how his face changes when I say "Daddy" and I relish it.
"Okay, kid. I very much doubt that you are innocent, but you are certainly clueless. Don't get used to it. Come on."
I can't believe he actually does it. So, it means that not everything is lost after all. I can still win this game.