Chapter 27 #2
He turned as the door between their rooms opened a few more inches, a freshly showered Rob checking before he swung it open.
“I take back everything that I said about being awful in a past life,” he teased, his gaze making a lingering descent of Jude’s body.
“I must have been bloody amazing,” he said under his breath before crossing to the window.
“But let’s have none of that staring-at-nothing nonsense today, sailor.
” He closed the curtains before inspecting Jude from up close.
“And let’s have much more of this, instead.
” He cupped Jude’s face and kissed him, quietly serious as he asked, “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” That weight in his chest shifted again when Rob raised a single eyebrow and Jude recalled almost needing carrying up the hill last night, like one of the weeping toddlers they’d passed on their way down.
Rob was close enough to read that shift in his expression, his voice a low warning vibration that Jude felt as well as heard. “And let’s have none of that virtually silent nonsense either.” His next kiss defined softness. “Tell me how you’re really feeling.”
“Honestly, much better.” Jude did. This easy breathing was addictive, considering he hadn’t noticed how treading emotional water used to leave him constantly winded.
He tested it again with another deep breath, then tried to verbalise the difference.
“I used to wake up feeling like I’d taken a kick to the ribs.
They ached, you know?” He continued before Rob could answer, and perhaps hearing so many of his dad’s words yesterday lent Jude a few more of his own.
“Not all the time, but often. And maybe not kicked, exactly—” he stretched for the right descriptor “—more like... something heavy got in the way?” Rob’s nod and rare silence encouraged him to add more.
“It’s not completely gone, but it feels. ...”
“Easier?” Rob offered.
“Yeah.” He glanced sideways at the remaining sliver of the view this new morning had brought him, then made sure to face Rob full on. “It is. Much easier. Thank you.”
“I’m not sure there’s anything to thank me for.
” Rob worried at his lower lip for a second.
“Meeting Trevor was intense. No wonder you crashed out the moment your head hit the pillow.” He looked over his shoulder at the bed, a drop of water falling from his damp hair.
He turned back quickly, scattering more droplets.
“Then we—” Him blushing was unexpected. “I woke up worried that I shouldn’t have… .”
“Oh, you definitely should have.” Jude curled a hand around the nape of Rob’s neck, fingers sliding through his wet hair, reminded suddenly of what Rob said before he passed out. “I loved it as well.”
“You don’t have to say that just because I—” Rob abruptly changed the subject. “Listen, we said we’d meet Trevor for breakfast.”
What Jude wanted most of all now had nothing to do with bacon and eggs.
“I did love it, Rob.” Now he’d found out how to access them, more words kept on coming.
Like sliding downhill in winter when Porthperrin was icy, they picked up momentum.
“Like I love what you’ve done for me... with me…
. For us. I know that Lou does as well.”
Rob’s expression shifted much like the weight in Jude’s chest, his discomfort visible. “But yesterday was intense. I don’t expect you to…”
“You don’t expect what?”
“Listen.” Rob paused for a long moment. “I… I know I’m full-on,” he said, as if that was a bad thing.
“I know that. I throw myself at new interests—people, projects—that burn out as quickly as they started.” That wasn’t what Jude had seen so far.
In fact it sounded like someone else speaking for him.
“I fancied you from the get-go.” Now that at least sounded genuine.
“But add in everything recently, like all the high-pressure stuff at the Anchor on top of not finding your— I mean, you have a lot to deal with, and then you’ll be leaving again.
I don’t expect….” His exhale was a frustrated gust. “Ignore me. I don’t even know what I’m trying to tell you.
” He slipped out of Jude’s hold, smile just as bright as ever, but now that Jude was paying attention, not even coming close to reaching his eyes.
“We shouldn’t keep Trevor waiting. Unless. ..”
“Unless what?”
This morning’s new-found awareness also meant Jude heard the change in Rob’s voice, his phrasing much more hesitant. “Unless you want to see him on your own, of course,” he said, careful, as though Jude’s reply might break something fragile.
“Why would I do that?” Jude matched his words with actions, pulling back the curtains he’d closed. Light spilt in so brightly, nothing on his face could be hidden. “Why would I do this on my own when I could have you right there with me?”
The corners of Rob’s eyes crinkled, the last wisps of worry fading like the sea mist outside.
“We’re in this together,” Jude said, and Rob’s smile finally brightened.