Chapter 17 Persephone #2
“I need what I have in Olympus, my king.” It’s painful to say the words.
It’s painful to take a breath to say more.
But if I have learned anything from Hades and all of this hell we’ve been through, it’s that I must keep my own strength.
I cannot give it up, or I will never have it back again.
“And so does the world and so does my mother.”
Hades swallows and turns his dark eyes on mine. He does not squeeze my waist, but his fingers caress me there as if he cannot bear the thought of letting me go. As if he wishes he had the heart to chain me for eternity.
“Your mother? Your mother’s rage resulted in that woman’s death. Her starvation! How can you return to her when she’s the cause of all of this!” His agony is felt, but it is rash and reckless.
“I’m aware of what she’s done, but that woman will live with abundance.
I could have promised her I’d provide that for her children too,” I start, my voice tightening and nearly cracking, “but I cannot do such things when I’m here.
I can only truly bring justice to her and her family if I’m able to be just to myself as well.
” I swallow the emotions, my heart beating hard beside Hades’s as my words register.
His gaze drops, and the cords in his throat tighten as his jaw ticks.
He knows I speak the truth and the woman deserved more than what was given.
She should have had security that her children wouldn’t follow the same fate and yet, because of Hades’s unrelenting possession of me, I could not offer her that.
“You are needed here,” he says roughly, and I know it has cost him to say this to me. I know he wishes he did not have to. “I need you.”
“I know.” I kiss his forehead, then both his cheeks, then his lips. “I know, my king. But I will leave with Hecate.”
Hades growls into my shoulder. His breath is hot against my skin. “You only have powers because of me. Your father would have seen you turn mortal.”
“You cannot take the moral high ground when you were a partner in that deal. I gave you grace that perhaps you didn’t deserve. Do you not see how I suffer too?” I ask him genuinely. “How I feel as your queen, who you grip too tightly?”
He avoids my gaze, refusing to answer.
“I despise your affliction, my king. It troubles me.”
“And yet you lie in my bed,” he answers. The resentment is not nearly as evident as his pain. He wars with himself and it’s obvious.
“Yes. I lie in your bed and in your arms because that’s what I desire. It’s what I want. You, my mother, my father are all so concerned with what you want. What about what I want?” I question.
“I cannot have you only two nights in a moon’s cycle,” he says, his voice strained.
Hades’s control slips, and it’s as if I’m watching him descend into madness.
The unfairness of what he thinks will happen makes my heart race.
I want to defend him from that injustice just as I want to defend the souls of the Underworld from the injustice of having their world collapse.
More than I want to defend the souls of the Underworld.
“There will be balance,” I promise him. His hands clench on my waist, then release. He huffs out a breath into my shoulder. “Have faith in me.”
Hades lifts his head, removes his crown, and looks into my eyes. The depth of his pain lies in the darkness of his gaze.
He traces a hand from my waist along my side, his fingertips moving up until he brushes them gently over my cheekbone, then the point of my chin, then my nose.
Finally, he cups his hand under my chin and pulls my face close for another soft kiss that gradually deepens until he’s exploring me with his tongue, turning his head to get a closer angle, pushing into me until I’m leaning back in his arms.
Hades could kiss me down to the rug like this. He could stretch out over me and push himself inside me and make me shake and shudder and come all over his cock, and I would let him. I would beg for more.
I do not want to leave with Hecate, but if I do not leave now, I won’t be able to for so long and I don’t know what will happen in that time.
I want to stay here, in this bed, with my king and my lover. With the god who gives me both power and pleasure.
I clasp my hands behind his neck, but only to get closer to him. He would not let me fall. He spreads his hands on my back, holding me as he kisses me.
I try to memorize how it feels. His hands are so warm and strong. His thighs are so solid outside mine. I am pinned by him, kept still by him, and yet I am also safe here. Nothing can poison me or harm me here.
Hades pulls me upright, his mouth still on mine, and breaks the kiss gently.
“You—” he begins, then pauses for a breath. I push my fingers through his hair as he readjusts his hands. They go back to my waist, circling my hips. “You ate the seeds. It is binding.”
He speaks harshly, as if he is angry, but there is a certain vulnerability in his eyes that I cannot ignore.
“Hades.” I lean forward this time. I’m the one to push into his space.
I lean my hips farther into the gap between his thighs, feeling the muscles tense around my legs, and put my mouth to his.
I lick his bottom lip and explore into his mouth with my tongue.
I hold his face in my hands and keep him where I want him so I can feel him there, and so he can feel me as I am—naked before him, in his rooms, away from any prying eyes.
Here, I am only his lover. I belong to him fully.
I need him to know that I belong to him fully in every realm, even if I have other responsibilities.
Know, I think, and kiss him harder. Know I belong to you.
Remember how this feels. Remember that I’m coming back.
Never doubt that I am coming back to you.
I will not give you up. “Hades, you will let me go,” I whisper the spell like a siren.
Just as I’ve seen Aphrodite do a thousand times before…