Chapter Nine
R uby
The past few months had felt like a blur, a big, beautiful blur full of light and color and fun. She’d practically been living at his apartment. He’d already asked her to move in with him, but she’d refused, stating it was too early. But it wasn’t. She’d never wanted anything more, but there was that one thing ruining the otherwise perfection. Like a looming storm cloud on a bright, sunny day. It chipped at her heart like a chisel, but the longer this went on, the worse it got. But she couldn’t bring herself to be brave. She couldn’t bring herself to find the words. Because she would lose him.
“Shit!”
The coffees she was carrying spilled on her shoes. Look where you’re going, Ruby , she scolded herself.
She was late. Not that it really mattered, she was banging the boss, but still. She entered the elevator and bit her lip.
Banging the boss ... more like in love with the boss, which was far more dangerous. They hadn’t said the words yet. She didn’t even know if she could. But what she could do was talk to her family, her dad. She’d been avoiding their calls the last few months, not only because she’d been in her love bubble, but because she needed to tell them that she wasn’t going to write that fucking article. It was all so stupid. She had a 10:00 AM call booked in today. She was going to take it on a walk and finally, finally , close this chapter.
The bell dinged, opening to the bustling office. She plonked Cathy’s coffee on her desk with a grin. “Sorry, Cath, just kept it simple today with a latte.”
Cathy looked up at her, her usual bright eyes dull. “Oh, just what I needed. Things are so busy here today, with the Matterson merge.”
The merger was all set to go ahead. She’d been working on filing the last of the paperwork for the past few weeks. Everything had been kept private, with only a select few employees knowing about the potential merger. It would take the company to new heights and she couldn’t have been prouder of Josh.
“Let’s go out soon,” she offered to Cathy. “Maybe have a few drinks stronger than caffeine.”
Cathy tucked her pencil behind her ear. “Now that sounds like something I can get behind.”
“Don’t work too hard.” She offered her a departing grin, and headed for her own desk, moved to be just outside of Josh’s. She was his PA, after all. She didn’t know how many people they were fooling, but they seemed to be flying under the radar so far. She took a sip of her coffee and nearly spat it out. There was a bouquet of red roses sitting on her desk. Hmm, more like crouching, waiting to pounce. It was huge. An assault on the senses. And the best thing she’d ever seen.
So much for flying under the radar. She set her latte and bag down, hands reaching for the card.
Happy four months. The best four months of my life.
Josh.
She bit her lip, her finger tracing over the card.
Then, trying to assemble any modicum of cool, she smoothed down her skirt and knocked on her boss’s door.
“Come in.”
His eyes flew up from his computer, lighting up when they saw it was her.
She shut the door and ran over to him, kissing him tenderly, deeply.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his mouth. “And happy four months to you.” She wiped her lipstick from his lips, tidying him up.
She wriggled from his arms, but he pulled her back.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
She grinned. “Back to work. You have a meeting in five minutes, boss.”
He glanced at his calendar, sighing. “So I do.”
“So you’ll just have to hold that thought until later,” she said, biting her lip in the way she knew drove him crazy.
His eyes darkened. “I don’t think I’ll be able to think of much else.”
“Now why would I want you to be thinking of anything else?” She smiled and left the room.
****
T he clock looked languid , slow, that’s how she felt time was passing. When 9:55 AM hit, she headed for the door, her phone clutched in her hand, ready to disappoint her family. She found a park bench mercifully empty and settled in for the scolding of her life. She had to remind herself that she was an adult, for God’s sake. They could scold all they like.
Her phone vibrated, and she clicked the answer button before she could change her frazzled mind.
“What is it, honey? You said you had something important for us. Have you found something?” Her dad’s eager voice bounded through the phone like an excitable puppy.
Honestly, is this all he cares about?
“Hey, Mom, Dad, how are you?” She sighed internally.
“Oh, fine, fine.”
“Yes, all good here, darling,” said her mom.
“So, the reason I’m calling you is that I have found something out, and that’s nothing. Because there’s nothing to find. His business practices check out. And I’m doing nothing with that document you fabricated. I’m sorry, but I’m not. It’s wrong.”
Silence.
Silence was never a good sign.
Some faint voices could be heard. She frowned like that would sharpen them.
“...it’s fine, I’m muted.” Her dad. “I don’t care—she’s doing it! We’re not going to stand a chance in New York if he’s there—we need to clear him out. We had to steal that client from him ... do you really think we’d be where we are now without him? That client brought us two million alone last year. I don’t care how, but she’s doing this, even if we have to write the article and slap her name on it.”
“Come on now, Jim, that’s not fair. I can’t let you do that.”
“We’re past that now. She’ll thank us for it one day when she sees her inheritance. It will all be worth it.”
She let the words slice through her, into her soul, her heart, that was racing, breaking at 10:00 AM on a park bench. Why do words have the power to crumble your whole world?
She wet her lips and swallowed, trying to get rid of the dryness in her throat. The backs of her eyes stung. She sniffed.
“You’re not muted. And I don’t ever want to talk to you again. Either of you.”
Voices began to talk quickly, loudly, as she pulled the phone away from her ear, but she didn’t care. She could throw the phone in the water fountain for all she cared. The sensible part of her brain won out, and she quickly blocked her parents from everything. They were smart people, with a lot of resources, they could find a way to reach her if they wanted, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for them.
She was done being their pawn in their game of chess. This was her life. She sniffed again, running the back of her hand across her face, before pulling out her notebook. She would burn it. Start anew.
She had all the best intentions, but when she made to move, her limbs became dead weights, and they couldn’t support her. As people trickled past, and the sun began to set in the sky, she realized she’d been outside for hours upon hours.
Get a grip, Ruby.
She headed back to the office, not even bothering to turn her phone on. People would be asking where she was. Josh would be worried.
She came back to an empty office. Josh’s office light was on. That could wait. She needed to get her things first. She just needed that notebook to not exist anymore. She rifled around, placing it and various papers on her desk.
“Ruby? Where have you been?”
She swiped her windswept hair from her face. “Sorry, I had a bit of an emergency.” She held up her hand. “Don’t ... don’t ask me about it, please.”
The worry lining his features made her heart pinch. He cleared the space between them, bringing her into his arms.
“I’ll agree, but only because you asked me to.”
“Thank you,” she said into his chest. “Besides, I don’t want this to spoil our anniversary.”
The idea of celebrating the number of months they’d been together seemed juvenile at first. But when she sat down and thought about it, it was important. Important to celebrate all of the time they had together.
“That I can agree with,” he said. Then all the breath was knocked out of her as she landed on her desk, her legs open for him. He stood between them, bending his neck to claim her mouth. It was a position they had been in before, and one she loved. She loved being together after dark, when the office was deserted. It felt dangerous and exciting. It made her heart race. He made her heart race.
He broke the kiss, staring deep into her eyes.
“Now it’s your turn not to talk, just listen. I love you, Ruby. I’m in love with you and I’m sorry if it’s too soon for me to say, but I’m also not. Because I don’t think I can waste another second not letting you know how I feel.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut off her air with another kiss.
“Tell me when you’re ready, not because you feel like you should say it back.”
She was ready to scream it from the rooftop, but a thought rang in her head like a bell, louder and louder. You don’t deserve him, you’ve betrayed him , over and over. She needed to drown out the din.
She kissed him back with a little too much force, falling further back on the desk and slamming her hands down for balance. They broke apart their kiss, laughing, as papers and notebooks flew and clattered to the floor.
He chuckled, dropping to his knees, gathering up the papers. “I think you need a PA yourself, love. Your desk is a nightmare.”
No. No, his hands were on the papers ... all the papers...
She was in a nightmare. It was like time froze as his eyes cast over the contents. Then he opened her notebook, and she was frozen to the spot. Her insides were screaming, telling her to rip everything from his grasp, but her brain said that she deserved this. This was her punishment. Watching his face fall, his eyes gloss over, as he continued to flick through everything. A muscle in his jaw ticked and his hands tightened around the notebook, like he was trying to keep ahold of himself.
He turned his back on her.
She reached out a hand toward him.
“Josh.” His name was a broken sob in her mouth.
When he turned around, he wasn’t the Josh she knew. She instinctively took a step backward, away from him, the last thing she’d ever want to do. But it was like someone had washed away everything that made him Josh. He was blank, expressionless.
“Get out.” His voice was ice. She couldn’t reach him. Not now.
“I can explain. If you ... you could just let me explain.”
She couldn’t explain. She could barely string a sentence together, barely see through her tears.
“No. You’ve lost that privilege. Get out or I’ll have security remove you.”
He reached out, and for one small second, she thought he was reaching for her, but he removed her badge. It hung limply in his hand, before he let it drop to the floor.
“And don’t bother coming back.” He stalked back to his office. It took everything in her not to follow him, to beg on her hands and knees for his forgiveness, but she did as he asked, she could do that, one last time. She gathered up what she could and ran for the elevator, throwing herself inside. She sank down to the floor and sobbed. And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.