Chapter Eleven
R uby
It was done. It was over. There was no going back. No going forward. She was stuck, like she was being buried. That’s how the first week felt, like she had the flu. Cathy had been messaging and calling her incessantly, seemingly desperate to get hold of her. She should be a better friend and call her, or at least text her to let her know she was okay. She looked at the latest one.
Please, Ruby. I don’t understand. Josh said you had to leave effective immediately because of an emergency. What emergency? Just let me know you’re okay. I miss you xx
She squeezed her eyes shut against the message, against the bright light.
He hadn’t told anyone—he was still protecting her. He hadn’t even told Cathy that she’d been fired. Not just fired from her job, but as his girlfriend, fired from his life.
“Shit!”
She opened her eyes and glanced at her phone again. She was meeting Alana in an hour at the club. It would be the first time she’d gone out since ... it happened. She figured she couldn’t leave Alana hanging for much longer. It was her job, her reputation that she was ruining. She would tell her everything.
She groaned, rolling off the couch and stepping over copious amounts of takeout and wine bottles as she headed for the bathroom.
When she caught sight of her reflection, she did a double take. She looked like the girl from The Ring, for fuck’s sake. She’d really let herself go. She tilted her head, her hair spilling with her. It wasn’t often that the outward appearance reflected perfectly what the inside was feeling. But, hey, there’s a first time for everything. She set to work tidying herself, showering and shaving, and putting on some make-up. She looked almost human again. She rooted through her closet and found an old black dress and some silver thigh-high boots. Now all there was left to do was her lipstick. She hovered over her lips, looking at her reflection in the mirror.
Ruby Red . His nickname for her sang through her mind.
She closed her eyes and pocketed the lipstick without putting any on.
Fifteen minutes later, she gave her name to the security guard and was let in, but not before throwing a quick text over to Cathy to let her know she was okay and to ask how the business was going. In other words, to ask her how Josh was doing. With any luck she’d get an answer. To her surprise, Alana was already there waiting for her at the bar. She took a seat next to her.
“Hey,” she said.
Alana turned and wrapped her in an embrace. She patted her back awkwardly, but Alana clung to her, rubbing her back in circles. She held her friend tighter, and that’s when the tears fell. To her credit, Alana held her through them all.
“I fucked up. I really, really fucked up and I don’t know my way out of it.”
Alana listened to her sorry tale, making sure that their glasses of wine never dipped below half. She was way too good to her.
Alana took a sip of her wine, considering. “Sometimes there is no way out of it. We have to live with the consequences of our actions and move forward.”
Ruby reached out and took her friend’s hand. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I put your reputation on the line, your business...”
Alana squeezed her hand. “Yes, I don’t think Josh Hall is going to be leaving me any five star reviews any time soon. He’s angry.”
Her heart sank. “You saw him?”
She nodded. “He came to return his card. I was the one who explained everything to him, who your parents are.”
She gasped. “You knew?”
“I knew. Well, I guessed and then I did my research, you’re not as good an actress as you think, you know.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since our drink with Josh and Drew at the club.”
She opened her mouth, but Alana held up her hand. “It’s on you, yes, but it’s also on me. I should’ve vetted you properly. But I think you’ve been through enough, don’t you? Let’s just move on. Have you talked to your parents?”
She hadn’t. And she wasn’t interested. Maybe someday there would be a reconciliation between them, but, no, she explained to Alana, who nodded.
“And Josh?” she asked tentatively, like she was a glass doll on the cusp of breaking. “Are you going to talk to him?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I need to apologize, I know. I just don’t know how. He’ll never trust me again.”
“Second chances are second chances for a reason. I can see how much he loves you. That doesn’t just turn off. Give it time.”
Suddenly, she knew what she needed to do. What she needed to write. She grabbed her coat off the chair, shrugging it on.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, A. Thank you.” She threw her arms around her.
“And where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“To work. I need to get to work.”
Fifteen minutes later, when she turned the light on in her apartment, she felt as if she’d been revealed. It was like the cold light of day had rushed in, except it was the middle of the night.
She sighed. “Well, no time like the present.”
She tidied and cleaned everything from top to bottom, until the place was gleaming, and sunlight was spilling through the open windows.
Then, making sure her kitchen table was clear of any distractions, and that there was a large pot of tea, she opened up her laptop and began to write. And write and write and write. Words poured out of her like water, like they were begging to be placed on the page.
****
T he buzz of her phone brought her out of her writing reverie.
It was Cathy, responding to her message.
Her heart thrummed, picking up speed when she skim-read the message and saw Josh’s name.
I’m so happy you’re okay! Please let me know if you need to talk. You’re always welcome to come over, my door is always open for you. Josh is ... okay. A little more reserved than usual. I hope I’m not overstepping here, but I think perhaps it has something to do with you leaving. Sending hugs, I miss our coffee time xx
Me, too , she thought. She took a deep breath, stretching out her muscles. She could do with a coffee right about now. She could also do with Alana and her connections, but first she needed to edit, edit, then edit some more. But first, Cathy.
Thank you, Cathy, that sounds great. Let’s catch up soon xx
She’d lost Josh, but she refused to lose Cathy, too.
She returned to her article, her first-person piece. She’d wondered about exposing her family for their shady dealings but thought better of it. Instead, she preferred to focus on the love and bore her soul in the piece, titling it 10 Reasons Why I Love Josh Hall and Why You Will Too . Alana was going to contact some online business magazines to see if they could get it published. She’d listed every amazing thing he’d done, his charity work, his kindness, and so on. But at number ten, she couldn’t resist getting more personal.
10. I love Josh Hall because he makes me feel alive.
****
T hree weeks later, she was heading out for a job interview. She was three hours early, but she was too nervous. She needed to expend some energy, and if that meant walking for a few hours through the streets of New York, then so be it. She examined her reflection. Maybe it was too much, but she figured she’d be bold today. Her signature red lips were back on, and she was wearing a matching blazer and skirt combination, in ruby red, leaving her dark hair cascading down her shoulders. She nodded to her reflection, grabbing her briefcase and phone as she headed for the door. Her eye caught on a headline. Successful merger of Private Housing Corp and Matterson Housing. Good for Josh. Her heart faltered at the name. She’d done a good job of pushing it down. Healthy right? But no. No, not now. Push it away , she told herself. With her eyes screwed shut, she opened her door and ran straight into a solid wall of muscle.
She gasped. “I’m sorry—"
Josh.
Standing at the door of her apartment.
There were dark circles marring his perfect face, and his chiseled jaw looked to be even more defined. His eyes skittered over her.
He held her article, printed on a piece of paper. “Ten reasons I love Josh Hall, huh? Could’ve fooled me.”
Her face fell and his features softened. “Let’s talk. We’re not so good at that.” He walked past her into her apartment, and she suddenly lost all ability to speak. She thought she’d never see him again. She had nothing to say, nothing prepared.
He sat down at her table. “Ruby?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Let’s talk.” She shut the door and walked to the table to join him, her hands shaking.
She met his gaze. He was the one who suggested they talk, and now it seemed he had nothing to say. She found her voice.
“I know you’ll never be able to forgive me, or trust me again, but I’m so sorry.” She swallowed. “There’s obviously more to it. I know you’ve spoken with Alana. My parents, especially my dad, wanted me to do this. They told me about you, your business practices, how you stole clients from them. That you were shady and a bad man. You proved them wrong, me wrong, on every single count. Before I knew it, I was head over heels for you, and it was too late. I couldn’t tell you. I don’t expect you to understand.”
A tear trickled down her cheek.
He nodded. She watched his hand clench and unclench and she had to touch him. She covered his hand with her own and allowed his warmth to seep into her. His gaze flew to her, and she squeezed harder, thumb rubbing over his palm. His eyes fluttered closed against the touch, his face a mask of confusion.
“I don’t know why I’m here.”
“Because you love me. And I love you,” she admitted.
His eyes flashed open at her admission. He swallowed. “And because Drew and Alana basically told me I’d be a fucking moron if I didn’t come find you.” His jaw flexed. “I’m so in love with you it hurts.” He tilted her face toward him. “Never again. You can never lie to me again.”
“I promise.”
“This will be a fresh start for us.”
Her heart lurched at the word us .
He stood. “Come here,” he commanded, voice low and gravelly, traveling all the way up her spine.
She practically ran to him, the force of her eagerness set them both off-balance. The second his lips touched hers, she saw stars. She moaned against his mouth, and she felt his sharp inhale, his hands roaming through her hair, tracing her face.
Suddenly, he broke the kiss, leaving them both panting, cheeks flushed.
“You’re going somewhere? You look like you’re going somewhere.”
“Job interview. Not for hours.”
He licked her lipstick from around his mouth. “Good. Because we’re going to need hours with all I have planned.”
With that, she was off her two feet and in the air.
“Where’s the bedroom?”
She could feel his hardness through his jeans, and it was making her ache, desperate.
“No here, right here,” she said.
He may have had elaborate plans, but she needed him now. It had been too long since he’d been inside her.
She jumped from his arms, turning so that she was planted over the table, her back to him. She pulled down her skirt and underwear and reached back behind her to stroke over his hard length. He seemed to agree. She heard his belt unbuckle and clatter to the floor. Then he was pressed behind her, sliding in with one deep thrust. He growled at the wetness he found there.
They both moaned in unison.
“So ready for me,” he grit out, pumping into her. There was nothing controlled about his strokes, and the erratic nature of them was building her pleasure. Her head lolled back, and he seized on her neck, peppering kisses, finally landing on the sensitive part of her ear.
She gasped. She’d never felt closer to anyone in her life.
A sudden burst of honesty rushed from her lips. “I’ve missed you. I love you so much, Josh.”
That was the final straw for him, as he pushed himself deeper inside her than he’d ever been. She let out a scream as she clenched around him.
She turned, breathless, wrapping herself in his arms.
“So, it turns out there are better ways to expend nervous energy than walking around New York.”
He pulled back, grinning. The sight of him sweaty and tousled took her breath away.
“You still have some left?”
She bit her lip.
“Well, we can’t have that.”
He dropped to his knees.