Chapter Sixteen
Lucian
I am exactly like my father. That terrifies me more than anything else I’ve ever done, because it means I’m not actually the one in control. She is.
When Aurora told me to leave, something in me wanted to laugh. Or to kill. Instead, I left. Because I promised myself I would try not to be him—and for a couple of shitty hours, I kept that promise.
Then I tracked her like the asshole I am, only to find that she went home. I’m not the kind of man who waits and sees. So, I cleared the paths I needed cleared.
Nancy fed the story to the press the moment I had her thrown on her ass outside my brother’s club. She had connections to push the scandal out in one night. But I’d expected this. A few words in the right ears and dirty cash in the right hands, and the fire went out. Give it one more week and the headlines will be a bad dream.
Still, I know the contract was a mistake. At the time, it felt like the only way I could have her. I can’t say I regret it, but I can definitely acknowledge that it was wrong.
My father loved until his love destroyed everything. My father could not stop. Now, when I look at Aurora, I feel that same hunger. If I become him, the end will not be pretty—and if I let her go, I’ll lose my mind.
You won’t understand me until you’ve had this kind of hunger. Until you’ve had someone who becomes the single measure by which every other thing makes sense. Until your entire calendar runs on their fucking breathing.
I don’t want to be the man who ruins her, but I won’t be the man who lets her go. I can’t separate the two; I have no idea how to. But I try my best to show her that my obsession isn’t scary, even though I know it is—that I want nothing more than to worship at her feet.
And I managed to convince her to go on a date with me. I just need to spoil this girl—to try and make up for my wrongs.
I open the car door for her. “Come on. Let me make today right.”
I don’t breathe until she’s in my space. We drive along the coast. Her hand rests near the window, wind tugging at her long blonde hair. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
The restaurant’s small, tucked between two narrow streets and overlooking the sea. It has the best seafood in the world—I’ve been there more than once. I can’t believe that she was always just a couple of streets away, and I never felt her. Never noticed her. It feels impossible.
We sit outside, and I pour us some wine.
“So,” she says, “what’s next? Flowers and a proposal?”
“Soon,” I vow. Nothing would make me happier than putting a ring on this woman’s finger.
“I’m not sure if I still hate you or not.” She hides the truth behind a laugh.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait for you to stop hating me.”
She looks down at her plate, cutting into the fish. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m consistent.”
That gets a small smile. I’d kill for it—scratch that, I have killed for it.
After lunch, I take her through the market. She stops at a jewelry stall, runs her fingers over a silver bracelet. I buy it before she can say anything, fastening it around her wrist, watching the blush that spreads on her face—with my dick hard.
We walk along the pier after. The sky’s gone soft pink, the sea gold under the sun. She leans on the railing, the wind playing with her hair, and I stand close enough to smell her.
“You’re trying,” she says quietly. “I can see that.”
“Trying doesn’t feel like enough.”
“It’s more than I expected.” She shrugs.
“You changed everything,” I say. “How can I not fight for you?”
“I don’t know what to do with you,” she murmurs, still refusing to look at me.
“Look at me,” I beg.
She keeps her eyes down.
“Aurora. Please. Look at me.”
When she finally does, her eyes root me in place. God, she’s way too beautiful for her own good.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “For every time I cornered you, for blackmailing you into something that should’ve been a choice. But I can’t say I regret you. Not a second of you.”
Her throat moves when she swallows, eyes flickering over my face like she’s trying to decide if there’s anything in me worth saving.
“I don’t deserve you,” I tell her. “But let me at least prove I can stand beside you instead of above you. That I love and obsess over you. That I worship you.”
It feels like an eternity of waiting for her to answer me—and she does. With her lips on mine. Our first kiss.
Deep down, I know I’ve never kissed her because I wanted her to be the one to kiss me. For me, kissing is more intimate than sex, and I’ve never kissed a woman before her.
I didn’t want her to kiss me for the contract, or because she felt like she needed to. I wanted her to kiss me because she wanted to. Because she wanted to feel her lips on mine.
And she just gave me the biggest gift—her forgiveness, and her love.