Unknown
See me tonight.
I shouldn’t. God, I knew I shouldn’t. I knew what he’d do to me, what he’d say to me. And still, the thought of ignoring him made my stomach knot in a way that felt too much like fear.
I knew it was less of a question, more of a threat.
Felix didn’t ask. He never asked. He told, and you showed up or you paid for it in ways you couldn’t afford. I’d learned that the hard way.
I shoved my phone face down on the counter and focused on the skillet in front of me. Garlic and butter hissed in the pan, rich and warm, but I’d lost my appetite hours ago.
By the time Blaine walked through the door, loosening his tie and shrugging off his jacket, I’d almost convinced myself I could act normal. He kissed the top of my head in passing, murmured something about traffic, and washed his hands. No teasing, no sly brush of his hand at my waist.
Maybe he had a long day? I wasn’t used to not hearing his bad jokes off the rip. I didn’t even get a chance to act like I hated his excessive touches, which consequently made my decision for tonight much easier.
When we’d finished dinner, I found myself lying beside Blaine in bed, staring at the ceiling while his slow, steady breathing brushed over my shoulder.
The message was still burned into the back of my eyelids. Short. Commanding. Like no time had passed, like every step I took to get away from him was absolutely meaningless.
I lay there for what felt like hours, Blaine’s arm heavy around my waist, his breathing slow and even. My chest ached. I wanted to sink into him, let his warmth pull me under, let myself forget. But I couldn’t stop hearing Felix’s inevitable voice in my head.
Careful not to wake him, I eased out from under Blaine’s arm and sat at the edge of the bed, holding my breath. His breathing didn’t change.
I stood, moving quietly to the closet. The sound of the zipper on my bag felt deafening in the dark. My heart pounded in my ears, my hands shaking as I shoved in my wallet and keys.
Tears pooled in my eyes as I stepped out, walking towards the door, each passing second my feet dragging even harder, my heart constricting as I weighed whether or not this was a mistake. It’s not like it mattered anyway.
“Where are you going, baby?”
I flinched at hearing his voice behind me. Looking over my shoulder, my hand clutching the strap of my bag in a death grip, my heart raced as he watched me from across the room. The look in his eyes seemed all-knowing.
“It’s… It’s getting late; I should get home.”
“We were just fine lying down…” He approached me slowly. “Come back to bed with me.”
I shook my head. “I have to go…”
“You don’t, Sunshine,” he said, and for a moment, I could almost sense he knew exactly where I was going; nevertheless, I held my ground.
“You don’t get it, Blaine. I have to.” I wanted to tell him I didn’t have a choice, but I kept that part to myself.
His jaw ticked as he studied me. “Is this about Felix?”
I could feel myself flinch as he simply watched me. Unfazed almost.
“What did you just say?”
How did he know… what did he know? Did he know about my past? About everything I tried to bury? About it starting to haunt me in real-time?
“Maia…” he began, “you don’t have to hide anything from me.”
My laugh was brittle, tears coming to the edge of my eyes. “That’s easy for you to say. You won’t understand.”
“Then make me understand—”
“No.” I cut him off. “You’re not the one who gets called a gold-digging slut every time you walk into a room.
You’re not the one being reminded every single day that that’s all you’re good for.
You’re not the one who has to take care of the only person you have left in this world, even when it’s killing you. ”
“Maia—”
“You will never understand, Blaine. Girls like me… whores like me don’t deserve to be happy.”
His stare sharpened, like he was hearing every word but refusing to believe a single one of them. “Don’t—” His voice was low, almost dangerous. “Don’t call yourself that.”
“It’s what I am.” My voice cracked, but I forced the words out anyway. “That’s what he made sure I’d believe.”
I swiped at my cheeks, breath shaking as he stood there. “He made sure I couldn’t forget what I was worth. And now you want me to just… let you in? You think this—” I gestured between us, my hand trembling “—makes me feel any less like exactly what he said I was?”
“Maia, you were trying to help your uncle. You’re still helping him.”
“Help? Is that what this is?” My voice rose, shaking, but I didn’t stop. “Suddenly… because I got in bed with not one but two billionaires to help my uncle… I’m supposed to stand on some moral high ground? Pretend I still have self-worth? Because I can’t, Blaine. I can’t.”
My breath hitched, the words burning out of me.
“I slept with Felix for loan payments… and I’m sleeping with you so I don’t have to remember how bad I have it on my own.
That’s it. That’s what I’m good for.” I shook my head with a defeated shrug.
“For God’s sake, I gave up being forced to be a stripper to be a sugar baby. What a step in the right direction.”
For a moment, the only sound in the room was my own breathing… jagged, uneven.
Blaine didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. Then, slowly and deliberately, he stepped forward until there was no space left between us.
His voice was low, sharp enough to cut. “Don’t speak about yourself that way.”
I shook my head, hating how my lip trembled. “But it's true—”
His hands caught my face before I could finish, forcing me to look at him. His grip wasn’t cruel, but it was firm, commanding my attention away from my spiraling thoughts. “It’s not true.”
“You weren’t there,” I whispered. “You didn’t hear the things he said. You didn’t see what I—”
“I’ve seen enough.” His jaw flexed. “And I’ll make you say it’s not true if I have to spend the rest of my life proving it.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t take the empty promises.
“Blaine, this is as far as we’d go. I don’t deserve—men like you don’t belong with girls like me…
not in the way you keep telling me. I’ve heard these words before…
I know how they end.” My voice cracked. “Felix told me I was different, too. Then he made sure I knew exactly what I was.”
His eyes narrowed, but I pushed on before I lost my nerve.
“People see us, they see the billionaire and the girl who came from nothing. And they think they already know the story. They think I’ve got one thing to offer you, and that’s it.
That’s all they see. That’s all they think I am.
And maybe…” My throat tightened. “Maybe that’s all I am to you, too. ”
“You think I’m with you because you’re easy to fuck?
” His words sliced right through me. My eyes filled with more tears as he narrowed his at me.
“You think I’d let you sleep next to me, in my bed, because you’re convenient?
No, Sunshine. You’re in my bed because I can’t stand the thought of you anywhere else.
You think I’d think less of you for surviving in the only way you could at the time?
You think I’d think less of you for being mine? My Sunshine? My sugar baby? My Maia?”
“You’re not hearing me—” I tried again.
“I’m hearing every goddamn word. And I’m telling you they’re wrong.” His hand slid into my hair, his grip firm enough to anchor me in place. Looking up at him, my heart skipped a beat as my breath shuddered. His lips hovered dangerously close to mine.
“If I have to spend every day undoing what he did to you, I will. But don’t you ever—” his grip tightened in my hair “—think you’re less than what I see when I look at you.”
I swallowed hard, my throat still feeling raw. “And what is that, Blaine?”
His thumb brushed my cheek, slow and cautious, like he wanted to hold me together but was scared he’d break me. “Mine. My fucking everything.”