Chapter 8 #2
I had half a mind to ask him, "Did you want to come to my room with me?
" Just to lay down and sleep. Not for anything more.
While sex was important, it wasn't what this was all about.
I cared for him deeper than his physical body.
It was his mind and his heart that had me roped in—that had me believing the future could be bright with both of us together.
That there was hope after grief and loss. That Wren was pulling the strings.
"You need to eat."
Tanner's voice pulled me from my inner thoughts.
He stood, easing his blanket onto the chair and tugging for me to stand as well.
I did, then watched as he tugged my jacket as if wanting to pull it off.
I hadn't even realized that I'd left it on.
Thankfully, taking off my boots was a natural habit or else I'd have been in big trouble from Sean and Atticus for tracking snow through their house.
Once he wrangled my jacket off—with my assistance, of course—he spun me around and pushed my back. "We need to see Harlan. Excuse us," he said over and over until people parted for us.
There were some stares and laughter from the guys, but I ignored it because I didn't care.
I knew I had to look extremely goofy with how wide my lips were pulled up, but there was no stopping it.
My bossy boy was trying to get me to eat.
As much as I had taken care of him, he now wanted to take care of me.
In the kitchen, Harlan raised a brow at the way I came back. When Tanner popped out from behind me, he smirked. "Yes?" he asked.
Tanner put his hands on his hips. "He has not eaten," he said, "and he should because eating is important."
The way he spoke—it was as if his little side was coming out. My body pulsed with a desire to pull him to me, to tuck him against me and hide him away from the rest of the world. I wasn't worried about anyone being mean to him or anything. It was a protective nature that had come over me.
Harlan stared at us for a moment before he went over to the fridge and pulled out a foil-covered plate. "When you didn't show up, I stuck some food to the side. Figured you would be here eventually," he said, easing the dish down.
When Tanner moved forward to grasp it, I shot my hand out to stop him. "I can do this part, but why don't you go hang out with your friends?"
The words felt horrible on my tongue. I didn't want him to go back out there without me, but asking him to stay and sit with me while I ate was ridiculous. It wouldn't be any fun for him, and I would not be selfish, not with him.
He shook his head, then climbed up on the stool on my other side. "I will be right here to make sure you eat every single bite," he said as he poked his finger into the counter like he was being a demanding Daddy himself.
I didn't respond. Instead, I picked up the plate, unwrapped it, and set it in the microwave. After a minute and a half of listening to the hum of the device, I pulled it out, sat down in the other empty stool, and dug in.
Tanner watched me as I devoured the food. I was hungrier than I thought. He kicked his little legs and bounced on the stool, as happy here as he was out there. The only thing he was missing was his blanket. Had I been more in tune with everything, I would have brought it for him.
After my last bite, he clapped excitedly. "You did it," he said.
My gaze was already on him, so I didn't miss the way he mouthed the word "Daddy" after that.
My blood went hot as my cock sprung to life.
Fuck, I was doomed, but in the best kind of way, because I was going to do whatever Tanner wanted for the next however long we lived.
I would eat when he told me to. I would take care of him anytime he needed it, and I would provide a home where he could safely be himself anytime he wanted.
No more working long hours or pushing himself to the brink of being sick and burned out.
"Are you ready to go back with your friends?" I asked him.
He shrugged, then kicked his feet in that same way again, but a little slower this time. It was like he was being shy. It was strange considering how open we'd both been, but I had a feeling his little side was sitting at the forefront.
"If you don't want to hang out with your friends, what would you rather do, bud?" I asked.
His eyes turned to the stairs and though he didn't say a word, I suspected I knew what he wanted.
"Do you want me to come sit with you again, like earlier?" I asked. I didn't reference the power nap specifically, but I think he knew that's what I was talking about. I think he understood that I was trying to find out if he wanted me to lie with him or if it was something different.
"Upstairs," he said. "My room."
The shortened words were yet another sign of his little side appearing.
"Alright, bud, why don't you go get your blanket and head on up? I'm gonna clean this plate up so Harlan doesn't have to."
I said the words dramatically as I turned to give Harlan a look, letting him know he better not argue with me about this. I wanted a second alone with the other man—one in which my boy would not be eavesdropping.
My boy. I was already claiming him in my mind. It wouldn't be long before I slipped and said the words out loud.
Tanner bobbed his head quickly, then shot off the stool to go in the living room. I worried for a second that he would fall and crash, but he didn't. Thank goodness for small favors from the universe.
The second he was out of the room, I turned to Harlan, who was waiting for me.
"What do you need, Simon?" he drawled.
I shook my head. "Don't try to play mean with me. I know how you truly are."
Harlan smirked. "It's always fun to mess with people, though," he said in response. He then waved his hand as if to tell me to get on with it.
"I want to have something made for Tanner for tomorrow. Something to eat, something he'll enjoy."
Harlan tilted his head. "You're the one giving him the gifts," he whispered.
I tapped the counter twice instead of verbally confirming his answer. He took me in for a moment longer and then said, "Soup. It should be soup."
A smile bloomed on my face as I sat up straight. "Then let's do it. You tell me what you need, and I'll make it happen."
He waved a hand. "You don't need to do anything. We all love him here, and if it means that you and he grow closer—which again would keep him here—the better it is for everyone. Besides, it'll earn me bonus points with my husband."
I laughed heartily because he was right. Griffin loved when Harlan did stuff for others. It turned him on like nobody's business, and we'd all seen how gooey he'd get for the other man.
"Well then, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. I appreciate your help with this. If you can have it ready by lunch tomorrow, that would be great."
"I'm on it. Don't you worry about a thing."
As I left him standing there and went upstairs, I accepted that maybe I didn't have to do everything on my own. Maybe being alone was fine for a short while, but community was what I truly needed.
I had found it at the Coleman Ranch, and now I believed I was closer to finding even more people to add to my life.