Chapter 21
Tanner
The note had said to come alone, but that didn't stop the butterflies in my stomach.
I was dressed warmly—jeans, boots, my scarf and hat and gloves from my Secret Santa. My elephant onesie was hidden under a thick sweater because I couldn't quite bring myself to leave the house without it today. It felt like armor and comfort all at once.
I'd looked everywhere for Simon before leaving, wanting him to come with me, but he was nowhere to be found. Atticus had explained, apologetically, that he'd sent Simon on an errand into town, something urgent that couldn't wait.
On Christmas morning. Of all days.
My heart sank. I wanted Simon here for this. Wanted him to be part of the moment when I finally learned who my Secret Santa was.
But the note had been clear. This was something I needed to do alone.
So I bundled up and headed outside, following the path around the main house toward the barn. As I rounded the corner, I saw it—the shoveled path leading into what looked like a winter play area.
My breath caught.
The snowman Daddy and I had built together stood proud, his stick arms seeming to wave hello. I touched his carrot nose gently as I passed, smiling at the memory of building him with Simon, of the snowball fight that had followed.
The Christmas tree was next, small but perfect, its lights creating a warm glow against the white snow. Ornaments caught the light and sparkled, and I stopped to admire them. Simple glass balls in silver and gold, wooden stars, and—my throat tightened—tiny elephants.
The stack of presents made me smile. They were clearly fake, but they'd been arranged with such care, wrapped in bright paper with elaborate bows. A note was attached to the top one:
Every day with you has been a gift.
I pressed the note to my chest and kept walking.
The path curved around a cluster of trees, and that's when I saw him.
Santa.
Or rather, someone dressed as Santa, sitting in a comfortable chair at the end of the path. The red suit was classic, the white beard full and fluffy, the hat pulled low.
My heart started racing.
"Santa?" I called out as I approached.
The figure didn't move, didn't speak. Just sat there watching me approach.
I got closer, studying him. The build seemed familiar somehow, but the padding of the suit made it hard to tell. The beard covered most of his face.
"I can't believe I'm finally going to find out who you are," I said, excitement bubbling up despite my nerves. "I've been trying to figure it out for days. Every gift has been so perfect, so thoughtful. You've given me so much."
Still no response. Just steady breathing behind that white beard.
I stopped a few feet away, suddenly shy. "I wish Simon was here. I wanted him to be part of this moment. He's been—" My voice cracked. "He's been everything to me. And you've been everything too, in a different way. I just wish…"
I trailed off, not sure how to explain the conflict in my heart. How I'd fallen for Simon completely while also developing feelings for the mystery person who'd been caring for me so thoughtfully.
"I wish you could be the same person," I finally whispered. "Is that selfish? To want both? To want Simon as my Daddy and you as my Secret Santa, and for those to be the same thing?"
The Santa figure shifted then, reaching up slowly to remove his hat.
Dark hair appeared. Familiar dark hair.
My breath stopped.
The beard came off next, and I saw his face.
Simon's face.
Simon's warm eyes, watching me with such love and hope and nervousness.
"Surprise, bud," he said softly.
For a moment, I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't process what I was seeing.
Simon was my Secret Santa.
Simon had been my Secret Santa all along.
Every gift. Every note. Every thoughtful gesture. It had all been him.
The weighted blanket. The journal. The hat and gloves. The soup. The art supplies. The pajamas. The sippy cup. The snacks. Peanut. The nightlight. The care package with all my little items.
All of it.
All Simon.
"You," I breathed. "It's been you the whole time."
"Yeah, bud. It's been me." He stood up slowly, like he was worried I might run. "From the very beginning. I've been watching you, noticing things about you, wanting to take care of you. And when you showed up here that first night, I knew. I knew you were mine to care for."
The tears came then. Hot and fast and unstoppable.
"You've been taking care of me all along," I sobbed. "As my Daddy and as my Secret Santa. It's the same. You're the same person."
"I am." He opened his arms. "Come here, sweet boy."
I launched myself at him.
The momentum sent us both tumbling backward. We went down in a heap of red Santa suit and snow and tangled limbs.
But I didn't care. I was kissing him—desperate, happy kisses peppered all over his face. His cheeks, his forehead, his nose, his lips.
"It's you," I said between kisses. "It's you, it's you, it's you."
He was laughing, his arms wrapped tight around me even as we lay sprawled in the snow. "It's me, bud. Always been me. Always going to be me."
"I was so worried," I confessed, pulling back just enough to see his face. "I thought my Secret Santa might be someone else. Someone who wanted to be my Daddy. And I didn't know how to tell them that I'd already chosen you. That you were it for me."
His expression softened impossibly further. "You chose me?"
"Of course I chose you. From that first night when you waited for me on the porch. From the first time you called me 'bud.' From every moment you've spent taking care of me." I cupped his face in my gloved hands. "I'm falling in love with you, Daddy."
His eyes went shiny with unshed tears. "I’m falling in love with you too, Tanner. You've become everything to me."
We kissed again, slower this time. Deeper. A promise and a claim all at once.
When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing hard and grinning like fools.
"We should probably get out of the snow," Simon said, though he made no move to get up.
"Probably," I agreed, not moving either.
We lay there for another moment, just looking at each other. Then Simon started laughing—deep, joyful laughter that made his whole body shake.
"What?" I asked, starting to laugh too without knowing why.
"I'm dressed as Santa, lying in the snow with my boy on top of me, and I'm so very happy." He shook his head. "Wren would have loved this. Would have loved you."
The mention of his late husband made my chest warm. "You think so?"
"I know so. He always wanted me to find someone who needed me as much as I needed them. Who'd let me take care of them." Simon brushed a strand of hair from my face. "That's you, bud. You're exactly what I needed. What we both needed."
"I needed you too," I said softly. "I didn't know how much until I found you."
"Well, now you're stuck with me." He finally sat up, bringing me with him so I ended up in his lap. "I'm not letting you go, Tanner. Not ever."
"Good." I snuggled into his chest, not caring that the Santa suit was ridiculous or that we were sitting in the snow. "Because I'm not going anywhere."
We stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other and the moment. Eventually, though, the cold started to seep through our clothes.
"Come on," Simon said, standing and pulling me up with him. "Let's get inside before we both freeze. I want to give you your actual Christmas present."
"There's more?" I gaped at him. "Daddy, you've already given me so much—"
"There's always more, bud. Get used to it." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Besides, this one's different. This one's permanent."
Permanent. The word sent a thrill through me.
We walked back down the path hand in hand, stopping to look at each element of the winter wonderland. Everything looked different now—more beautiful, more meaningful—knowing it had been Simon who'd created it all for me.
"When did you set this all up?" I asked.
"This morning, while you were with the other littles. I've been planning it for days, but I wanted it to be fresh." He squeezed my hand. "Atticus didn't really send me on an errand. That was just to keep you from finding me before you got here."
"Sneaky," I said, but I was smiling.
"I learned from the best." He winked. "Sean's been helping me plan all of this. He's the one who suggested the scavenger hunt with the Polaroids."
"I should have known he was involved." I shook my head fondly. "Everyone was in on this, weren't they?"
"Pretty much. Harlan helped with the soup. Bobby Allen kept you distracted when I needed to set things up. Atticus gave me time off to go shopping." Simon pulled me closer as we walked. "Everyone on this ranch loves you, Tanner. They all wanted to help make this special."
My throat got tight again. "I love them too. This place—it's home now."
"It is," Simon agreed. "And it's about to become even more officially yours."
We reached the main house, and Simon led me inside and up to our room. The space looked the same as always—cozy and lived-in, with both our belongings mixed together.
But on the bed was a box. Not wrapped, just a simple wooden box with a latch.
"Open it," Simon said, his voice soft but eager.
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the box into my lap. My hands trembled as I opened the latch.
Inside was a collar.
Not just any collar—it was beautiful. Soft leather in a deep brown, with silver hardware that caught the light. And attached to it was a tag in the shape of an elephant, engraved with the words:
Daddy's Boy Forever
I couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe. Could only stare at the collar and what it represented.
"This is me asking," Simon said, kneeling in front of me. "Officially. Will you be mine, Tanner? Not just for now, not just while you're at the ranch, but forever? Will you let me be your Daddy, your partner, your person for as long as we both shall live?"
The tears were back, streaming down my face. "Yes," I managed to choke out.
He took the collar from the box with reverent hands. "May I?"
I nodded, tilting my head to give him access.
His fingers were gentle as he fastened the collar around my neck, adjusting it until it sat perfectly. Not too tight, not too loose. Just right.
When it was secured, he sat back and looked at me. "Perfect," he breathed.
I touched the collar, feeling the soft leather, the weight of it. It felt like coming home. Like claiming and being claimed all at once.
"I'm yours," I whispered. "Completely and totally yours."
"And I'm yours," he replied, pulling me into his arms. "My sweet, brave, perfect boy."
We held each other for a long time, both of us crying happy tears and occasionally laughing at the absurdity and beauty of it all.
Eventually, there was a knock on the door.
"Can we come in?" Sean's voice called. "We want to see!"
Simon looked at me, asking permission. I nodded, and he called out, "Come in."
The door burst open and Sean rushed in, followed by Atticus, then what seemed like half the ranch. They all crowded into the room, grinning and congratulating us.
"I knew it!" Sean bounced excitedly. "I knew he was going to collar you today! Atticus owes me twenty bucks!"
"You bet on this?" I asked, laughing.
"Of course I did. I had faith. You two were the ownership symbol type." Sean pulled me into a hug. "I'm so happy for you both. You deserve this. You deserve each other."
Everyone took turns hugging us and offering congratulations. Harlan clapped Simon on the back. Bobby Allen gave me a warm smile. Even the ranch hands I didn't know well stopped by to share in the joy.
This was family. This was home. This was everything I'd been missing without knowing it.
As the celebration continued around us, Simon pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Merry Christmas, sweet boy."
I looked up at him—at my Daddy, my Secret Santa, my forever person—and smiled through my tears.
"Merry Christmas, Daddy. This is the best gift I've ever received."
"Which one? The collar or finding out I was your Secret Santa?"
"All of it," I said honestly. "Every moment. Every gift. Every second of being yours."
He kissed me then, soft and sweet, and I felt complete.
I'd come to the Coleman Ranch broken and lost, searching for something I couldn't name. And I'd found everything—a home, a family, a purpose, and a love that would last forever.
The lawyer in me had spent years fighting for others, neglecting myself in the process. But the little in me had finally found someone who would fight for me. Who would make sure I ate and slept and played. Who would give me permission to be small and vulnerable and real.
Simon had been right that first night. This place was safe. And now, wearing his collar and wrapped in his love, I finally understood what that meant.
I was home. I was his. I was exactly where I was meant to be.