Chapter Two
Axel
I’d shocked the shit out of myself when I offered to bring Paisley to Strickland Memorial. I hadn’t been to this hospital in over a decade. Truthfully, I even avoided this side of town. When I told her I’d be scared too, I hadn’t been lying. My wife had taken her last breaths in this hospital.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she squeezed my hand. I wasn’t hiding my emotion as well as I thought, apparently. I was trying to, for her sake.
“I’m feeling kinda nervous. What about you?”
“I’m nervous too. Do you think I’ll get a shot?” Her scared face pulled at my heartstrings. I wanted to lie to her to soothe her fears, but I knew that would only hurt her more in the long run. The Daddy Handbook had taught me better.
“I’m not sure, but if you do, I’ll hold your hand extra tight, okay?”
She still looked pensive, but nodded.
I thanked the nurse as she brought over the paperwork. Paisley took it, but she was trembling too hard to fill it out.
“Let me help you, darlin’.” I took the chart from her and wrote down the answers she provided. When we got to the question about her last menstrual cycle, she flushed and looked down. I wrote down her mumbled response before finishing the rest of the questions, and turning it in at the counter.
Coming back, I settled beside her once more. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, darlin’. A period is just a thing that happens to every woman. I’m not shocked by it,” I gently teased her.
She gave a brief smile, even though her skin was flushed pink and she wouldn’t make eye contact.
“Did you know I had a wife for a long time?” I asked, hoping to relieve some of her anxiety.
She nodded and played with the hem of her pink princess shirt. “The Littles say you don’t talk ‘bout her much and we shouldn’t ask about her.”
A wave of guilt tore through my stomach and squeezed my heart. I didn’t talk about Junie a lot. It was just so damn hard. She’d been my biggest blessing, but I didn’t want the Littles to think we couldn’t talk about her. Paisley had never met her and I was sure she was curious.
“If the topic ever comes up again, you can tell the other Littles they can ask me as many questions about Junie that they want. I miss her very much and it can be hard to talk about her, but I never meant for them to feel like it was a closed topic.”
“Was she your Little girl?”
I smiled at the memory of Junie running to me and climbing up in my lap whenever she could. She always had a bow in her curls and was always holding her stuffed flamingo, Fancy.. “She was my entire world for eight years before her death.”
“What happened to her?”
“One day while working, Junie had a brain aneurysm. After fighting hard for several days, she passed away.”
“I’m sorry. You must miss her so bad.”
“I do miss her every day, but you and the other Littles help. It does my heart good to see you living your best lives being free and happy. I like to think of Junie living that way too, free and happy.”
She rested her head on my shoulder and I couldn’t resist leaning down to plant a soft kiss on the top of it.
“Were you grumpy with her too?” she mumbled in a completely sassy tone.
I tossed my head back and laughed, the sound echoing into the small waiting room. “I have always been a grumpy asshole, but I was probably nicer with her in my life.”
We sat in a comfortable silence until she asked, “Do you think that Uncle Onyx was able to feed Angel?”
I winced at the mention of her cat. From what I’d heard, ‘Angel’ was anything but. “He probably managed just fine.”
“I hope he doesn’t scare her; she frightens easily.”
I didn’t comment, but I didn’t think she should have been worried about the cat managing. I was worried for Onyx.
A nurse called us back, and I stood to push Paisley back to the triage area.
“This wheelchair is so stupid. I can walk… maybe.” The look on her face told me she was lying her behind off, but she was too stubborn to admit it.
I laughed at the words and the petulant expression on her face when she delivered them. She was so cute.
***
After the hospital trip, I gently carried Paisley into my house and up to the nursery. My housekeeper, Ruth, cleaned this room out as well, but I seldom went in. It had been Junie’s safe place and seeing the room without her smile lighting it up hurt in a way I could never describe.
The pain was still there, but Paisley needed help while she healed and I couldn’t imagine letting her be with anyone else during that time. I didn”t want to think about anyone else taking care of her. I also didn’t want to think about what that feeling meant.
Lowering Paisley into the white crib, I positioned her with a pink pillow under her foot. She whimpered in her sleep and I rubbed her belly softly. Poor baby. I imagined even with the pain meds, it still hurt. Her ankle had been broken. Seeing an orthopedic doctor was our first step in the morning.
Elliot had been off when Onyx called, but he’d come in just to help with Paisley. He’d wrapped her foot until we could get it casted and gave me detailed instructions on what to do for her. I wouldn’t bother with changing her into pajamas. She would be comfortable enough in her leggings and oversized shirt.
I looked around the room and spotted Fancy, Junie’s beloved stuffie, sitting in a rocking chair. Ruth must have put her there when she cleaned last. The sight of the well-loved flamingo brought a fresh wave of grief through me. I walked over and picked it up. Pressing my face into the soft body, I breathed in the smell. Fancy didn’t really smell like Junie anymore, but it didn’t matter. The silly pink bird served as a reminder of happy days with my love. “I miss you, babygirl,” I whispered into the room.
I placed Fancy in Paisley’s arms. She immediately pulled the stuffie close, causing me to smile. “Thank you for sharing, Junie-Bug,” I knew she would want Paisley to have the flamingo.
I soaked in the sight of her asleep in the bed. Her pale pink curls covering part of her face, and her chest rising slowly painted the sweetest image. I hated that she was hurt, but I would admit it was nice to have a Little under my roof again, even if just for a few days.
***
Paisley
I woke up to whimpering. It took me a minute to realize it was my own. My whole leg hurt—so bad—and I was really uncomfortable and shaking. Shaking my head to clear it of the cobwebs only made it ache too. I struggled to sit up, but finally managed, then immediately wanted to lay back down. I was so thirsty and everything hurt. My room was unusually dark… I didn’t think I was in my room. I studied the soft pink flamingo I was holding close for a minute before I remembered I was at Axel’s house. The horror of realizing why I was so cold came after. I had wet the bed. I was soaked.
Panic filled my belly and clawed at my chest.
Oh, no. I’d bet this was his Little girl’s bed and I’d just saturated it with my urine. Pulling myself up on my good foot, I threw my injured one over the side of the crib and tried to climb out. I couldn’t reach the ground and the floor was way too far away to just let go. Pulling my leg back in, I waited, hoping an idea would come to me. Maybe there was an escape latch somewhere on the rail. Trying to lean forward while trying to feel for a latch, would end up being my downfall, literally, when I got tangled up in the blanket and fell into the side of the crib. Pain tore through my ankle and I cried out in agony.
The nursery door flew open and Axel ran to me. He was only wearing boxers and his hair was dripping. “I was in the shower and didn’t hear you through the monitor at first. What’s wrong, baby? Did you wake up scared?” He reached for me, but I scooted backward in the crib.
The only thing I could do was be honest. He would find out soon enough anyway. “I’m so sorry,” I cried. “I had an accident.”
“Oh, honey, it’s okay. All Little ones have accidents and you were so tired from all the medication, I wondered if this would happen, but I didn’t have consent to put you in a diaper. Let me help you get cleaned up, yeah?” He had asked me before they gave me the strong pain medicine if he could bring me back to his house to keep an eye on me. I’d agreed since I didn’t know how I would react to the medicine, and the doctor said I shouldn’t go home alone. We probably should have thought further ahead.
I didn’t want to make him angry if he wasn’t already, but I couldn’t resist asking him, “Was this your Little girl’s bed?”
He smiled softly and rubbed my arm. His touch went a long way in soothing me. “It was, and that’s okay. I’m not upset and she wouldn’t be either.”
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“I know you didn’t, baby. I promise I’m not upset, but let’s get you cleaned up before you get too cold.”
I nodded at him and he let the side down before picking me up under the armpits and setting me on his hip.
“You’re going to get wet,” I cried as I tried to wiggle free.
He held me tighter to him and chuckled. “It’s just a little pee.”
“It’s a lot of pee,” I argued.
“You worry too much,” he teased as he carried me down the hall and into his room. “Junie’s nursery has a bathroom built in, but I don’t think there’s any linens in there. We can get you all squeaky-clean in here,” he said as he set me on a bench in his bathroom. The mirrors were still steamy from his shower and it smelled strongly like his citrus scent.
After turning the faucet on in the bath, he walked back to me and knelt between my legs. Placing a hand on each of my knees, he looked up at me. “I want to help you, darlin’, but I won’t do anything that’s going to make you uncomfortable. I would like to give you a bath and tuck you into my bed for the night, but if you’re not up for that, it’s okay and I will understand.”
I rubbed my fingers over his tattooed hand, tracing the patterns in his ink and considered my options. After being taken from my mother at age four, I’d been placed in foster care. I had no memories of my mom, and due to my nevus flammeus, I’d never been adopted.
I’d needed several surgeries as I grew older and nobody wanted to adopt a child that would come with a chance of medical debt. The foster families were nice, but I was a difficult child. I had severe anxiety and later depression due to my physical appearance, so I was moved around a lot. At fourteen I was placed in a group home where I stayed until I turned eighteen and transitioned to the Independent Living Program. I’d never really been shown any affection. I craved it now. The idea of someone taking care of me—even if just for the night—sounded like a dream come true.
“I would really like that,” I finally said. Despite my decision to allow him to care for me, my skin still tingled with embarrassment as he undressed me.
Using gentle movements, he sat me in the tub sideways and propped my foot on the edge of the tub. My back rested against the other side. He rolled up a towel and placed it under my ankle. “Is that comfy?”
I nodded and crossed my arms over my boobs nervously.
“You’re so beautiful, Paisley. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
Heat rose to my skin for the second time and I was surprised to realize I could turn even more red.
Axel didn’t seem to notice as he soaped up a cloth and began to wash me. “How badly is your ouchie hurting, Little one?”
“Is kinda ouchie, but not as ouchie as when I first woke up. I think maybe I bumped it in my sleep.”
“I”m sorry, baby. I bet that did hurt,” he said as he looked at me sympathetically. “You can have some more pain medicine in another hour. Do you think you can make it that long?”
I nodded and he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“You’re a brave girl, Paisley.”
I didn’t feel brave, but it was nice he thought that.