Chapter Thirteen
Kendrick
The cold woke me, and I unconsciously wiggled my aching limbs towards the heat source I felt at my back.
Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, pulling me into a solid, warm body.
A soft blanket fell over my just-starting-to-shake body, wrapping me in warmth and the scent of peppermint and mocha.
With a soft sigh, I let myself relax, and drifted back to a pleasant sleep.
The next time I awoke it was to Bal’s growly voice softly urging me to drink.
The rim of a cup touched my lips, one of his arms supporting my back and holding me up.
Cool water slipped past my dry lips, and I swallowed automatically.
I got to enjoy a few more sips, before the cup was taken away and I was gently laid back down.
Blinking my eyes open, I stared into Bal’s silver ones.
The room was bathed in soft morning sunlight.
Bal looked a little rough around the edges.
Dark circles smudged the skin beneath his eyes.
His glorious hair was loose, spilling over his shoulders, and rumpled.
He was also splendidly naked, all long limbs and pale skin, bathed in the sunlight crossing over the bed.
He looked disheveled, and sexy, and he smelled like sex. My cock gave a twitch, but that was all the interest I could manage.
My heat was well and truly over, and I was a bit disappointed by that fact.
Bal had been…the absolute best alpha and lover. Strong, fierce, tender, and caring. And he had a magnificent cock and knew just how to use it.
He brushed the matted hair back from my forehead with a gentle smile. “Welcome back. How do you feel?”
My voice came out rough, as I gave my limbs a tentative stretch. My body ached, my muscles feeling strained, yet well used, and my hole gave a twinge. “A bit sore, but good. What day is it?”
“The twenty-seventh.” He helped me sit up, fluffing soft pillows behind my back, then offered the cup of water to me.
Taking it from him, I took a sip. “We missed Christmas.” I couldn't hide my disappointment.
“We did. But your family is planning a redo for you, once they know your heat has passed,” he told me, smoothing the blankets across my lap, yet making no effort to cover or hide his own nudity. “I think they even held back some of the kids' presents, so you wouldn’t miss them opening them.”
I realized he had missed Christmas Eve too.
Missed making sure Nik got all the presents delivered on time, and whatever else it was he did to make sure the world had a bright and merry Christmas.
Missed the thing he worked so hard for all year long, and took so seriously, to spend my heat with me.
I had vague memories of us talking about it, in between my bouts of heat.
Of him telling me his assistant was filling in and he was exactly where he wanted to be.
My chest bloomed with warmth, and a strange emotion I couldn’t identify, at the thought that maybe that meant he was starting to feel about me the way I was feeling about him.
Because I was most definitely starting to have new and exciting feelings about Balfour. Somehow, over the years, we had formed a real friendship, which had started to become more with the first touch of his lips against mine.
The charade of pretending to be his boyfriend had been much easier to pull off than I expected it to. And a part of me didn’t want it to end. A part of me–a big part of me–wanted it to somehow be real.
Especially after the incredible heat we had spent together.
There were sides to Bal he didn’t show to just anyone, but he was starting to show to me.
He was like an onion, with layers upon layers, that someone just needed to take the time to peel back to get to the real heart underneath.
He kept so much of himself hidden, saving it for a special person. For his special person.
I realized I wanted to be that person. The person who was privileged enough to see all he hid from the rest of the world.
Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I peered at him over the rim of the cup. “I’m sorry you missed Christmas Eve.”
He gave a one shouldered shrug, not looking sorry that he had missed the big night. “They handled it well enough without me. I’ve trained Anderson well. Besides, you needed me more.”
The heat brewing in my chest bloomed into a full-on fire, that I didn’t know what to do with. Instead of thinking about it too hard–or at all–I rubbed a hand down my itching chest and stomach. “I need a shower.”
My skin was covered in dried sweat, slick, and cum. Besides I needed a minute to get myself under control, and away from Bal’s penetrating silver gaze.
“Stay right here,” Bal instructed, gracefully sliding to his feet.
My eyes trailed over all his naked skin, the smooth muscles, the long, flaccid cock, nestled in a patch of silver curls.
Up his washboard stomach, to his well-defined chest. For a man–a being–who mostly sat behind a desk, he had the sculpted body of a god.
It was really quite unfair. I had to spend way too much time in the gym to get the little bit of muscle I had.
He hurried out the open bedroom door, and I was so fascinated watching the globes of his round ass flex as he moved, I did exactly what he had ordered me to do.
Not moving a muscle from the bed. A minute later, he returned and before I could protest, he scooped me up into his strong arms, bridal style.
My arms naturally wound around his neck, the silken tangles of his hair sliding against the backs of my fingers. He stared at me, unblinking, his eyes locked onto mine, in a heated caress that made my skin tingle.
He had no reason to touch me this way now that my heat had abated. No reason to stare at me with fire in his gaze. No reason to cradle me in his arms like I was the most precious thing he had ever held.
But he did anyway, and there was no way in this realm or the next, I was going to tell him to stop.
This was one ride I wasn’t getting off of, until I was absolutely forced to.
Maybe, just maybe, he would tell me that we should continue our lie.
That we could make it a reality. That we should see where these feelings took us.
He licked his lips, and I watched his tongue, remembering the taste of it against mine. Remembered the way it had trailed over every inch of my skin. The way he had fucked my ass with it, before he had filled me with his thick cock.
My skin heated like my heat was back, my hole clenching and aching to be filled, even though I was sore as fuck. I’d take the pain, the burn, for one more time with Bal inside me. It would be worth it.
His eyes stared at my lips, and I silently begged him to kiss me. Instead, he cleared his throat, looking away before carefully carrying me into the bathroom, the steam of the shower already heating the cool room.
He moved like he was going to put me on my own two feet, and my body tightened, fighting the movement. My hands clung to his neck, my eyes begging him not to let me go.
“Kendrick?” His voice was a confused whisper, reminding me of the way he had sounded in the dark.
In the darkest, neediest throes of my heat.
As he had whispered words against my skin.
Words he hadn’t meant, I knew that, of course I knew that.
Words that people whispered to each other during the height of passion but didn’t hold any real meaning.
Words that I realized, deep down, I wanted to be true.
“Shower with me?” My voice sounded small, hesitant, unsure of how he would react to my question–plea–or what he would say.
Please say yes.
“Are you sure?” he hesitated, looking unsure.
Where was the man who had confidently taken charge of my heat, bringing me to a screaming orgasm over and over and over again?
The man who had touched me with sure hands, with fingers that knew just how to tease?
Who had given me orders I had happily obeyed?
“Please,” I tried to keep the pleading whine from my voice. “I…” Dammit, I had never been an omega who shied away from anything, and especially not from something–or someone–I wanted.
But suddenly I wasn’t sure of anything with Bal anymore. Wasn’t sure where we stood with each other. Wasn’t sure how much playacting had turned into the real thing.
But I was sure of the fact that I wanted him. Wanted him more than I had ever wanted another being on the planet. And I was not ready to let him go yet.
If this was our last day together, since I was supposed to go home on the twenty-eighth, I wanted to spend it with him. Preferably naked. Before my family expected me to spend the day with them, celebrating the holiday I had missed.
Voice steady, I looked him straight in the eyes, and told him, “I want you. I want to feel your cock inside me when I’m not out of my head with heat. Please, Balfour, please.”
“No.”
And with that one, small, tiny word, the man I was very much afraid I was starting to fall in love with, shattered my heart and soul.
Balfour
Past…
Nemesis: Did you eat today?
Me: I ate.
Nemesis: What did you eat?
Me: Do I ask you about your eating habits?
Nemesis: I know you. You get wrapped up in your work, especially in December, and you forget to eat.
Me: I ate.
Nemesis: Are you lying to me?
Me: Fine. I’m going to get something now. Happy?
Nemesis: Very.