12. Layla
— ? —
Layla
I was losing my mind.
Every day this week had been the same. From the moment Cece woke up to the moment she fell asleep, there was only one topic of conversation. Only one person she wanted to talk about. Only one word on her lips.
Daddy.
“Mommy, when is Daddy coming?” She asked it over breakfast, her spoon suspended halfway to her mouth, dripping milk onto the table.
My stomach clenched at the question. I didn’t have an answer. I’d never had to think about custody schedules or visitation rights or any of the complicated logistics that came with sharing a child.
“I don’t know, baby.” I wiped up the milk with a napkin, avoiding her eyes. “Eat your food.”
“Does Daddy like ice cream?” She asked it in the car on the way to daycare, her face pressed against the window, her breath fogging the glass.
The question caught me off guard. Such a simple thing, ice cream preferences, and I realized I didn’t know the answer anymore. Four years was a long time. People changed.
“I think so.” I kept my eyes on the road, my hands tight on the wheel. “Most people like ice cream.”
“Can Daddy come to my daycare?” She asked it at pickup, tugging on my hand as we walked to the car, her backpack bouncing against her small frame.
My heart twisted. She wanted to show him off. Wanted to introduce him to her friends and her teachers. Wanted the world to know she had a daddy now, just like the other kids.
“Maybe someday.” I buckled her into her car seat, not meeting her hopeful gaze. “We’ll see.”
“When is someday?” She kicked her feet against the seat, her patience wearing thin. “Is it tomorrow?”
“Someday means I don’t know yet.”
“That’s not a real answer, Mommy.” She crossed her arms and pouted.
She was right. It wasn’t a real answer. But I didn’t have real answers to give her. I didn’t know what any of this meant. I didn’t know where the boundaries were supposed to be. I didn’t know how to navigate co-parenting with a man I’d spent four years believing was a monster.
And then Stefan started showing up at daycare.
The first time, he stayed by his rental across the lot and never approached - a coincidence, I told myself. Maybe he just wanted to see where she spent her days. The second time, suspicion crept in. By the third morning, when he was waiting at the entrance itself, I knew.
When we pulled into the parking lot, he had a bright pink box tucked under his arm.
“Mommy, look!” Cece spotted him through the window before I’d even killed the engine. “It’s him!”
She was already unbuckling herself, fumbling with the straps of her car seat.
“Baby, wait.” I reached back to help her. “Let me get you out properly.”
“But he’s here!” She squirmed with impatience. “He came back like I wished!”
The moment her feet hit the pavement, she was running. Her little legs pumped across the parking lot, her backpack bouncing, her voice carrying through the crisp morning air.
“You came back!”
Stefan crouched down to catch her, one arm wrapping around her while the other kept the pink box from getting crushed. His face transformed when she collided with him.
“I told you I would.” His voice was rough.
Cece pulled back and looked at his face with serious eyes. Three-year-old eyes that saw everything and understood more than I ever gave her credit for.
“Mommy said you’re my daddy.” She announced it like a fact. Like stating the sky was blue or grass was green.
Stefan’s whole body went still. His gaze lifted to find mine over her head, and I saw the question there. The hope. The desperate need for confirmation.
I gave him the smallest nod.
His arms tightened around Cece, and he pressed his face into her hair. His shoulders shook once, twice, and when he lifted his head, his eyes were wet.
“Yeah, baby.” His voice cracked on the words. “I’m your daddy.”
“I knew it.” She nodded with satisfaction. “I knew it when I saw you at the coffee shop. You look like me.”
“You look like me.” He managed a watery smile. “That’s how it works.”
“Do daddies bring presents?” She eyed the pink box with interest. “What’s in there?”
“Cupcakes.” He held up the box so she could see the logo on the side. “I thought maybe you could share them with your friends at school.”
“CUPCAKES!” Her shriek could probably be heard three blocks away. “Mommy, Daddy brought cupcakes!”
The word hit me like a physical blow. Daddy. She said it so easily, so naturally, like she’d been waiting her whole life to say it.
“I see that, baby.”
“Can I bring them inside?” She was practically vibrating. “Can I show Miss Patricia? Can I tell everyone my daddy brought them?”
“Of course you can.” Stefan handed her the box carefully. “You need help carrying it?”
“I can do it.” She clutched the box to her chest with fierce determination. “I’m very strong.”
“I can see that.”
She turned to look at me, her face glowing with joy. “Mommy, isn’t Daddy the best?”
My throat closed. I couldn’t speak. Could only nod and blink back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
“Come on.” She tugged at Stefan’s hand with her free one. “Come meet my teacher. Come see my cubby. Come see where I hang my backpack.”
He looked at me, asking permission.
“Go.” The word came out scratchy. “I’ll sign her in.”
Cece dragged him through the entrance, chattering the whole way about cupcakes and cubbies and her friend Madison who was going to be SO jealous. I followed behind, watching the way she clung to his hand, the way she kept looking up at him like she couldn’t believe he was real.
The teacher’s eyes went wide when she saw them together. The resemblance was undeniable, and Miss Patricia wasn’t even trying to hide her curiosity.
“This is my daddy.” Cece announced it to the entire room. “He brought cupcakes for everyone.”
Twelve small faces turned to stare. Twelve sets of eyes moved from Cece to Stefan and back again.
“Well.” Miss Patricia recovered with professional grace. “That was very thoughtful. Should we put them on the snack table for later?”
“Yes please.” Cece handed over the box with great ceremony. “Daddy picked the pink ones because pink is my favorite. Well, pink or purple. But mostly pink.”
“They’re beautiful.” Miss Patricia caught my eye over Cece’s head. “Will you be picking her up today, or...?”
The question hung in the air. I didn’t know how to answer it. Didn’t know what the rules were, what the boundaries should be, what any of this meant for our future.
“We’ll figure that out,” I managed.
Stefan crouched down to Cece’s level. “I have to go now, princess. But I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“How soon?”
“Very soon. I promise.”
“Pinky promise?” She held out her tiny finger.
He hooked his pinky through hers. “Pinky promise.”
She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. “Thank you for the cupcakes, Daddy. You’re the best daddy ever.”
His eyes closed. His arms wrapped around her small body. For a moment, he just held her, breathing her in, memorizing the feel of her against his chest.
“Thank you for letting me be your daddy.” His voice was barely a whisper. “It’s the best job I’ve ever had.”
She pulled back and kissed his cheek with a loud smack. “Bye, Daddy!”
Then she ran off to show her friends the cupcake box, already chattering about how her daddy picked the pink ones special, and did they know pink was her favorite?
Stefan stood slowly. His eyes were still wet when they met mine.
“Thank you.” The words came out rough. “For telling her. For letting me be here.”
“She asked.” I hugged my arms around myself. “I couldn’t lie to her.”
“Still.” He took a step toward me, then stopped himself. “Thank you.”
We walked out together, the silence between us heavy with everything unsaid.
Parents were arriving with their kids, glancing at us with curiosity as they passed.
I could only imagine what they saw. The tension.
The tears we were both trying to hide. The complicated tangle of a history they couldn’t begin to understand.
“How did you even find her daycare?” I finally asked.
“Cece told me she goes to school by the big butterfly mural.” He shrugged, entirely unrepentant. “There’s exactly one butterfly mural in Savannah.”
“I could drive you to work,” Stefan said as we reached my car. “We have that meeting in an hour anyway.”
“I have my own car.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Which you can pick up later.” He shrugged. “Unless you’d rather drive separately.”
I should have said yes. I should have insisted on taking my own car, maintaining my own space, keeping whatever boundaries still existed between us.
My car sat three spaces away from his rental, both of us with our own way out.
But Cece’s face flashed in my mind. The way she’d looked at him. The way she’d said daddy like it was the most natural word in the world.
“Fine.” I pulled my keys from my purse and locked my car. “But I’m choosing the music.”
“Deal.” He opened the passenger door for me, and I slid inside before I could change my mind.
The car felt too small with him beside me. His cologne filled the space, that familiar scent I’d spent four years trying to forget. I could feel the heat radiating from his body in the driver’s seat, could see his hands gripping the steering wheel.
My body remembered things my mind was trying to bury. The way those hands felt on my skin. The way that voice sounded in my ear. The way his body pressed against mine in the dark.
I turned to look out the window, trying to distract myself from the warmth spreading through my chest.
My body was a traitor. Four years of anger and hurt, and still it responded to him. Still it remembered.
Stefan broke the silence as we pulled onto the road. “I have some new ideas I want to run by you and Nessa.”
“Sure we can go over it, Nessa said some of the vendors have their quotes ready too. You can have a look at that.”
“I think we should do a site visit. Walk through the actual space together. It’s hard to make final decisions based on blueprints alone.”
“Nessa and I already did a walkthrough.”
“I know. But I’d like to do one with you. Just the two of us. So we can discuss the design elements in real time.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“It would help the project.” He held my gaze, his eyes searching my face. “Please, Layla. One walkthrough. A couple of hours. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Fine.”
“Great.” Stefan smiled, and I felt the impact of it in my chest. “Are you free right now?”