Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
TUESDAY
This morning I’m going shopping with Jack and I’m so excited.
When he came home yesterday, he went through my closet, checking my clothes, and decided I need a completely new wardrobe again.
Apparently, he has dinner parties and other social functions to attend and needs me by his side.
I want to argue, the clothes I have are fine.
I wave a hand at the closet. “What’s wrong with these clothes? They look perfectly fine to me.”
“Most of the functions are in New York.” Jack smiles at me. “It’s a different world.”
I’m nervous as we head toward the helicopter, its rotors spinning slowly. I climb inside, and Jack makes sure my seatbelt is secure and I have a headset to listen to the conversation in the cabin. “Where exactly are we going?”
“New York, I like to shop on Fifth Avenue. We’ll be landing in Manhattan at the East Thirty-Fourth Street Heliport.
” Jack smiles at me. “You’ll have a ball.
Laura loved to shop for clothes. I’m sure you’ll be the same once you get used to spending money.
” He gives me a long look. “I’ve never met someone as frugal as you.
Most women would go crazy with the allowance I give you. ”
I’m not most women. I look at him and shake my head. “Actually, I don’t like having an allowance. It makes me feel as if I’m one of your employees rather than your wife.”
“Oh, I see.” Jack runs a hand down his face and stares at me.
“Laura needed an allowance. I would put a certain amount of money into a bank account for her and she had a debit card. She knew she could spend everything in that account over a period of one month. She came from a wealthy family and was given carte blanche when it came to spending. Giving her access to a joint account would be like giving the inmates of a sanatorium the keys to the place.”
I shrug. “You told me on our wedding night that everything of yours was now mine. Why would I want to or need to spend so much money? I’d bankrupt you and that doesn’t make any sense.
Yes, I’m frugal, but that works to your advantage, doesn’t it?
There’s no way I would run through huge amounts of money without discussing it with you first. I’m not made that way and you should know that by now.
” I sigh. “I wish you would stop comparing me to Laura, because we’re completely different people. ”
“Okay, okay.” Jack chuckles. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that. It must be very frustrating for you.”
I nod and drop the subject. “Have you considered my ideas for changing the bedroom you shared with Laura?”
“I have, and it’s not going to happen.” Jack gave me a solemn look.
“I can’t possibly go into that room again.
I can feel her in there; her scent lingers everywhere.
It’s soul-destroying.” He takes my hand.
“I’ve come up with an alternative plan. We move the kids’ bedrooms over to the opposite side of the house.
They’ll love that because the rooms are much larger.
Then we knock both their rooms into one huge bedroom.
We can add a picture window that will blend in with the same design as the one in the living room and my old bedroom.
It will pass scrutiny. I’ve run it past my architect, and he assures me it can be done without doing any damage to the historical value of the house.
This will mean you will have an entirely new room.
Somewhere you can make your own, without any ghosts of the past.” He squeezes my fingers. “How does that sound?”
Slightly dumbfounded, I blink a few times. “It sounds like a great idea but what do you intend to do with Laura’s things? Keeping them in situ like that isn’t healthy. It’s almost as if you are obsessed with keeping them.”
“Let me think on it for a while.” Jack leans back in his seat and stares out of the window.
The conversation is over. Have I hit a nerve?
I wait a few minutes before I ask the big question. “Jack, why do you keep Laura’s portrait? Isn’t it a constant reminder of the pain that you suffer? You’ve moved on by marrying me, so isn’t it time to put that painting in storage?”
“No.” His head swivels toward me. “That portrait is there to remind the children who their mother is. They may choose to call you mom, but I won’t allow them to forget Laura. Having the painting there is a constant reminder.”
I nod. “Fine but a few photographs would do the same thing and wouldn’t be so obtrusive.”
“Do you believe it should be your portrait hanging there?” He gives me a long stare and one dark eyebrow raises.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. A nice landscape of the gardens would look better.” I take his hand. “How do you imagine it will look to your friends the first time we hold a dinner party? They’ll believe that, in your mind, I’ll never be good enough to be your wife and that I’m just a companion.”
“They won’t.” He shrugs and pats my hand. “You’ve been on edge ever since we arrived. Don’t you like my house?”
I meet his gaze and my cheeks grow hot. “Honestly? It’s not something I would choose for myself. I prefer new modern places with white walls, black leather furniture and tons of stainless steel and marble. You could build me the house of my dreams.”
“It was Laura’s dream house.” He sighs. “The kids are happy there. You wouldn’t want to take them away from everything they know, would you?” He pats my hand in a placating manner. “You’ll be happy there too. Just give it time. If, after six months, it doesn’t grow on you, I’ll build you a house.”
It’s an inch in the right direction so I smile at him and hold up my phone.
“While we’re out today, I’ll take some selfies so you can have photographs of us together on your desk.
I believe that would be good for the children to see as well.
They weren’t old enough to see the relationship you had with Laura.
It’s time for them to see what a normal, loving family looks like. ”
“I’d like that.” Jack’s blue eyes wash over me.
“I’ll have some photographs taken when we’re at the dinner parties as well.
I’ll have them framed and placed on the mantel.
” He indicates with his chin out of the window.
“Manhattan looks wonderful from the air, doesn’t it?
You’re about to have the time of your life. ”
A wave of uncertainty hits me, and my stomach clenches. I’m moving into his world and I’m so not ready for this.