Chapter 40
FORTY
I really enjoy spending time with the children.
From when they come home from school until I read them a story at night is a happy, fulfilling time for me.
They greet me with hugs and I know deep down in my heart that I will make them a good mother, and hope that someday I will have a child of my own.
I haven’t discussed children with Jack. I’m not sure why the topic hasn’t come up but I now believe it’s because of what he went through with Laura.
Things seemed to be okay with her before she had Ava and, from that point onward, she deteriorated rapidly—unless someone in this house caused her to become unstable.
It’s this issue that weighs heavily on me now.
Each evening, we sit with the children while they eat their dinner but we prefer to have ours after they’ve gone to bed.
It’s a nice relaxing and private time for us together.
After my tour of the office, Jack enthusiastically asks me questions about my impressions.
I discover he designed and built the building after his grandfather’s death.
The previous building had been old and didn’t have the modern edge necessary to bolster his image in the building industry.
I listen and nod in all the right places but questions about Laura’s last days are burning on my tongue.
As the dessert dishes are cleared away, and a fruit, cheese and cracker board appears on the table along with our coffee, I turn to look at him.
“I know you really don’t want to discuss this but there are some things I need to know about your past.”
“It’s difficult putting Laura behind me when you’re constantly bringing her up again. No good will come of talking about her and rehashing her life. Let it drop and leave the past undisturbed.”
I need to know and push him. Seeing him tense, I know I’ve hit a nerve. “Please, Jack. You said no secrets, so let’s be honest with each other, no matter the cost.”
“You just won’t let it lie, will you? She’s dead—end of story.” Jack gives me a withering look. “Okay, if you’ve got something on your mind, we need to get it out into the open and then move on with our lives. We won’t be taking Laura with us to the new house.”
Relieved, I smile at him. “That’s good to know.” I add sugar and cream to my cup of coffee and stir slowly, gathering my thoughts. “You mentioned one time that you believe Laura took her own life just to spite you. Why would you think that?”
“When I discovered she’d left Noah in the bathtub and walked away, I gave Jenny instructions not to ever leave the children alone with her.
” Jack runs his finger through a drip of coffee running down the side of his cup and then raises his gaze to me.
“In truth I wanted to have her placed into psychiatric care. When I told her she wasn’t to go near the children unless someone was with her, she went ballistic. Things went downhill from there.”
I sip my coffee. “What kind of things?”
“She frequently told me how much she hated me.” He sighs and stares into space. “She became paranoid and believed everyone was out to get her. She got it into her head that someone was drugging her but I gave her the medication each night.”
I lean forward on the table, cupping my chin in the palm of my hand. “Oh, I was under the impression that Sue gave her medication three times a day? What medication was she taking?”
“It was a mild antidepressant.” Jack blows out a long sigh.
“I spoke to the psychiatrist about her sudden change in personality and they insisted it wasn’t the medication.
They changed it just in case to something else but it made no difference.
Laura was losing weight; Sue made sure she took vitamin supplements three times a day with her meals. Not drugs just vitamins.”
I frown. “If she was so paranoid, why take her on the yacht?”
“It was really strange.” Jack rubs the back of his neck.
“She went through a few days of euphoria. She was laughing and happy and back to her old self. Then she locked herself in her room and I could hear her crying but she refused to open the door. I called the psychiatrist and they just told me to watch her. When she finally opened the door, she was acting normally again. I made sure Sue watched her closely over the next week or so. It was as if someone had waved a magic wand and she was back to normal. I wanted to give her some encouragement so I arranged the celebration for our wedding anniversary.” His gaze met mine.
“I would never have taken her out on the yacht if I’d believed she was a danger to herself.
Nothing happened during the evening that pointed toward her taking her own life. ”
Everything he said followed the diary entries exactly.
She had stopped eating the food and was having an affair with Tom.
She wasn’t taking the drugs causing her hallucinations and unstable personality.
When she broke up with him, she cried and then pulled herself together.
I look at him. “Do you believe she considered that your marriage was over or did you make it clear to her that there was a future for the both of you?”
“I was positive with her all the time.” Jack shakes his head.
“She, on the other hand, spent most of her time accusing me of having affairs. I don’t think she ever truly loved me and yet she was jealous of my time with other people.
The psychiatrist mentioned that she had narcissistic tendencies so perhaps that was just part of her personality.
She needed to be the center of attention all the time. ”
I gather my courage and clear my throat. “Did you ever suspect that Laura had an affair and that was why she had a sudden change in personality? She was getting the attention she craved and when it ended, she cried for a day and then pulled herself together and decided to keep going?”
“How the hell did you know about her affair?” Jack stares at me with an incredulous expression on his face.
“I’ve never spoken about that aloud. Of course I knew about the affair; I was sleeping right next door.
I’d need to be some kind of fool if I believed it took Tom an hour to deliver takeout.
” He barks a sarcastic laugh. “She was just using him like she used everybody but he was smart enough to walk away after a day or so.” His eyes flash with anger as he looks at me.
“Did Tom tell you? I’m surprised, because he values his position in the firm and would know you’d tell me. ”
I shake my head. “No, Tom didn’t tell me.
Laura did. She wrote everything in her diary.
I found it in the attic. The thing is, Jack, I believe either someone was drugging her with a hallucinogenic—” I squeeze his hand “—or it came from something she was using, maybe a hand lotion, or cosmetic. It must be something you don’t use.
Did she buy things from overseas, maybe? ”
“A diary? She never mentioned a diary. What diary and what does it say?”
I touch his arm. “I found it in the attic; it covers the months before she died. She believed someone was drugging her. It’s all in there. It’s a tragic story of her losing her grip on reality.” I meet his gaze. “Do you want to read it?”
“No.” Jack wiped his mouth with his hand as if removing a taste from his lips. “I lived it.”
I nod. “Now about the cosmetics?”
“Yes, she purchased tons of lotions and cosmetics from wherever we traveled.” He frowns.
“It must be something she used because no one here would poison her. Why would they? What did they have to gain?” He shakes his head.
“Laura died and nothing has happened in this house to anyone else, nothing has changed. I haven’t been seduced by any of the staff, or poisoned.
Maybe you’re clutching at straws.” He closes his fingers over my hand and rubs his thumb over the back.
“Have you considered that maybe she was just crazy?”
I nod. He makes sense but I need to collect Laura’s cosmetics, creams and lotions. I want to get them tested for possible drugs or side effects. I look at him. “To put my mind at rest, would you mind if I had her used cosmetics tested for possible drug contamination?”
“If it makes you happy, go for it.” Jack smiles at me.
“As far as I’m aware, nothing’s been touched in her dressing room since she died.
I don’t have a clue where to send them for testing.
I’ll ask Ruby to search for a laboratory.
” He sighs. “If Laura was using contaminated cosmetics, it would solve many unanswered questions.”
I need more information. “Just one thing, the argument you had with Tom the night Laura died… was that fueled by his affair with Laura?”
“Yes and no.” A muscle twitches in Jack’s cheek.
“I knew about him and Laura, and I didn’t really care.
It was an insult to my ego but I’d deal with it.
She was sick and he made her better. No, it was seeing him lip-locked with Ruby on the yacht.
It just made me mad a guy can use women like that, and I exploded.
I used the non-fraternization rule to get him out of my house but I needed to keep an eye on him, so I kept him in my employ.
It was Ruby’s idea. She figured he might cause problems being fired after I argued with him, publicly.
Keeping him on full salary and giving him an apartment to live in rent free squashed all that. ”
I nodded. I feel he is being honest with me. “That was a good idea. Thank goodness you have Ruby.”
“Now can we stop talking about Laura?” Jack raises both eyebrows. “I want to show you some of the houses in this area listed for sale.” He pulls a thumb drive from his pocket. “Why don’t we take our coffee into the sitting room and I’ll slip this into the TV.”
I meet his gaze. “You’ve found houses for sale? So soon? I can’t wait to see them.”
“If we see something we like, I’ll make an appointment to view them next weekend.” Jack stands slowly. “It’s not something I want to rush into, Willow. We must be sure it’s the one for us.”
I refill our coffee cups and hand one to him. “I want to be sure too.” I give him a long look. “I don’t want to end up writing a diary because the house drove me insane.”