Chapter Three
Valon stretched and savored the soft sheets surrounding him.
He burrowed deeper under the covers. Since he had nowhere to be, Valon settled in for a few more hours of sleep.
The scent of pancake syrup and coffee was the first thing to pull at his senses, clearing his head.
Something tickled the back of his mind. Fuck. He had gotten high again. Dumb.
Wait.
Valon shot upright. He blinked at his surroundings.
Nothing looked familiar. His heart tried crawling into his throat.
From the center of a full-sized bed, Valon took everything in.
The walls were blank. Yet the longer he looked, the more he sensed he had seen these walls before.
It was like a hazy memory trying to form before slipping away again.
Everything was soft, including the unfamiliar pajamas he wore.
French toast sticks and orange juice waited on a round table that looked as if it was meant for kids.
There were toys stacked in the corner, along with coloring books.
Valon lost the ability to see any of that.
His gaze was locked on the man sitting in a nearby rocking chair.
Marc watched him in a way Valon hadn’t seen before.
A sense of peace washed over him. The reaction seemed like the most foolish one he could land on, but it was Marc. He was safe.
“Where am I?”
Marc didn’t answer. Instead, he motioned toward the table. “Come eat while it’s still warm. I know you must be starving. You barely ate anything yesterday.”
“I barely eat anything any day.”
Marc nodded. His expression remained completely neutral. “That’s over. Eat.”
Valon climbed out of bed. The pj pants he wore didn’t slide down his hips, but they were nearly a foot too long for him.
Valon had to fight his way across the room to keep from tripping over them.
He didn’t realize he twisted the hem of his t-shirt between his hands as the nervousness set in.
When he noticed, he let go. Marc wasn’t acting like Marc. He didn’t feel quite as safe anymore.
Valon pulled the lone chair away from the tiny table.
It took him a second to find a way to sit in the minuscule chair and also get close enough to the table to eat.
His knees banged the edge. Marc stood and helped him, turning the chair.
He got the chair closer. Marc made a plate for Valon, drowning the toast in what looked to be homemade hot syrup.
“Eat.”
Valon chewed his bottom lip as he watched Marc reclaim his seat. He couldn’t take it. “I guess you’re probably curious about the lion costume.”
“Not really.”
Valon kept talking. “It’s my disguise when I go to the club. If people don’t know it’s me, I don’t need a guard.”
Marc’s expression remained blank. “Save your excuses. I don’t want to hear it.”
His voice was stern and made Valon immediately withdraw. He ate the soggy bread in front of him. His sweet Marc was gone, Valon supposed. More likely than not, he was finally done with Valon’s shit. That was fair, he guessed. He still didn’t understand where they were.
“Where are we?” The ice wall Valon always used to protect himself was firmly in place now. He wouldn’t let Marc turning on him be the final straw that broke him.
Marc didn’t respond.
Valon pushed away from the table and headed for the door. He was beholden to no one.
“I told you to eat.”
Valon spun on him. “I don’t like bossy people!
” He yelled the words before even he knew what he planned to say.
“As much as no one wants to hear me, I’m an adult.
You’d think getting famous would’ve given me at least a hair of freedom, but no.
Men like you spend their entire fucking day keeping me in line.
” The air quotes he used around that last bit came from his soul.
He was done with this. “You know what? You’re fired.
It’s time you found another client. I’m done with babysitters.
Let the crowds tear me to pieces or what the fuck ever. I’m fucking done.”
Marc softened. A small smile played on his lips. “Stop being a brat and eat your breakfast.”
Valon didn’t move.
Marc gave him puppy-dog eyes. “For me?”
Fuck him. Why couldn’t Valon tell Marc no?
Valon slowly made his way back to the table.
This time he knew how to adjust the chair to sit.
He quietly ate. His shoulders remained tense.
The food was already cold. He kept his mind on lockdown.
Valon had no idea what was happening, but he actually cared deeply for Marc.
No doubt he scared Marc, finding him in his car.
Especially since Valon obviously hadn’t been conscious in any way for God knew how many hours.
Valon got it. He terrified himself too. The wildest part, and the part Marc would no doubt think was a lie, Valon wasn’t an addict.
He could walk away from the drugs at any time.
Valon had done it before. He didn’t crave the high.
Valon didn’t even like getting high. He had always disliked the feeling of being out of control.
The problem was he hated himself even more, and he couldn’t escape that.
The sound of moaning came through the wall. “Oh. This is one of the private rooms at Affinity.” There was no life in Valon’s voice. The spark was gone from inside him.
Marc dipped his chin. “It’s the quiet room for when members get overwhelmed.”
“It’s used for Littles.” He didn’t know why he corrected Marc. Valon couldn’t find any other tone but dead.
Marc shrugged. “I suppose it’s that too. Zeus said quiet room. It’s his place. I didn’t question him.”
Valon drank his juice to placate Marc. He pushed to his feet.
“Thanks for saving me or whatever. I’m going home.
” Valon didn’t understand why Marc hadn’t taken him there.
Granted, Affinity was closer, but still.
If he had done all this, he could’ve taken Valon home.
Valan grabbed the doorknob and turned. Nothing happened.
He checked the handle. There was no lock. He tried again. Nothing.
His eyes narrowed as his temper set in. “Let me out.”
Marc kept rocking, seeming totally unbothered. “Sorry. Can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Marc’s expression never changed. “Can’t. Only Zeus has the key.”
Valon growled. “Fine. I’ll get it from him.” He banged on the door, calling Zeus’ name and demanding to be set free.
“This is a kink club, Val. No one out there thinks you’re serious. This is a playroom. They probably think this is part of our game.”
He was right, and that only served to spike his temper higher. “You did this. How could you do this to me? Why would you do this?”
For the first time, Marc showed his true feelings. His face distorted with rage. “I didn’t do a goddamn thing. You did this to yourself. I’m fed up with watching you implode. So, guess what? You’re staying right here until you tell me what in the fuck is going on with you.”
Everything snapped closed inside him. He made a dismissive gesture. “I’m a rockstar, living the rockstar life. You can open the door now.”
“Try again. This time, assume I’m not stupid.”
A huff of pure irritation burst from Valon. “I’m a goddamn adult. You don’t get to force me into anything.”
Marc stood.
Valon immediately shrank. He didn’t know this version of Marc. Maybe, like Ry, he was two different people. Valon wrapped his arms around himself. He felt the blood drain from his face. Maybe Marc would hurt him.
Marc froze halfway across the room. His expression changed from enraged to hurt. “Wait. Are you scared of me right now?”
Valon didn’t respond. His mind had gone to a safer place.
He had taught himself how to protect his sanity while someone hurt him.
Maybe Marc could destroy his body, but he couldn’t have Valon’s soul.
That would always belong to music. He sang a song inside his head while he dissociated.
Maybe he should go back to writing music.
That had saved him before. Writing was definitely better than the self-destructive ways Valon had used to escape.
The thing was, he was too scared to think clearly enough to do anything.
He was fucking terrified all hours of the day.
There was no peace inside him. Below the surface, all Valon had to focus on was the fear.
He thought he might be going slowly insane.
A warm palm smoothed down his back. “It’s okay, beautiful. You never have anything to worry about when you’re with me. You’re safe.”
Valon blinked. He was back in bed. This time, he wasn’t alone. Marc’s huge body engulfed him. His face was buried against Marc’s chest. Marc whispered comforting words into Valon’s hair. Well, fuck. Nothing like humiliating himself again. He could die now.
Holy shit. When Marc had decided to force Valon into facing whatever went on in his head, Marc hadn’t expected this.
He still didn’t know what drove Valon to self-destruct, but he knew one damn thing.
Someone had physically hurt Valon. He had never seen anyone cower and disappear like that.
While Valon hadn’t moved, he had vanished from the room just the same. He had taken his mind and fled.