Chapter Twelve #2
Marc pulled away and rested his forehead on Valon’s.
Their faces were inches apart. Marc’s eyes somehow looked even more beautiful up close.
“I’m sorry. In every way possible, I’m ashamed as hell of myself.
You’re right. I should’ve stayed. There’s no excuse.
It was like some sort of fucked-up PTSD response, and you didn’t deserve that.
Please forgive me. I swear it’ll never happen again.
” The sadness and desperation couldn’t be missed in Marc’s voice.
“When I left here, I had no destination in mind. I didn’t even get that far.
My mind just undermined me, but as soon as even a hair of the fog cleared, I knew I had fucked up.
I remembered there was no way in hell I could live without you.
Please believe in me again. Please believe in us. ”
Valon stared at the other half of his soul. Marc was right to connect so fiercely with that song. It was about people like them. He was convinced they had been meant to find each other.
“I don’t care what drove you to me. It doesn’t matter. You brought exactly the insanity I need to survive. I just want us.”
The relief and love in Marc’s eyes told the entire story.
He would never regret them. Marc wouldn’t let him.
When they had met, Valon had been at the lowest point of his life.
Marc had saved him, and Valon knew he would never let Valon hurt again.
He needed the obsessive love he had read about in that book.
Valon thought he might actually die without it.
Marc’s stomach shook. When he had come home, he hadn’t known what would happen. He hadn’t known what to say or do. As always, Valon had the words. Valon could say all the things Marc couldn’t string together. His rage turned out to the exact thing Marc needed.
“I love you.” Marc’s voice cracked, and he didn’t care. “You have no fucking idea how much.”
Tears slipped down Valon’s cheeks. They shattered Marc’s heart. Marc swiped them away. “Please don’t cry. I hate that I hurt you.”
Valon drew a broken breath. “These are tears of terror. You’re not supposed to go away.”
Marc couldn’t take it. He swept Valon off his feet and carried him to the couch.
He sat with Valon on his lap and grabbed a nearby throw blanket to cover them.
Marc held Valon as tightly as he could, hoping to squeeze the fear and pain from him.
His throat swelled. He had done more damage than he realized by walking out.
Marc had been totally convinced Valon wouldn’t want him anymore after seeing that journal.
All Marc had known was he couldn’t stay and watch Valon rip his love away.
He couldn’t watch the love turn to hate.
But now he saw everything, and the guilt was massive.
He had saved Valon and loved him through his mental downfall.
Watching Marc leave had to have felt like the ultimate betrayal.
Marc had no idea how to fix it, but Valon still wanted him, and Marc would find a way to scrub away this day.
“We’ll sit here until you believe in me again.”
Valon pressed his face against Marc’s neck, snuggling closer. “My insides are shaking, and I’m scared to move.”
Marc kept him as secure as possible. “So don’t. I’m not going anywhere.”
Valon sniffed and then chuckled. “This’ll get really awkward when one of us has to pee.”
A smile exploded across Marc’s face. “Do you have any suggestions on how to get around that?”
“We could go sit like this in the shower and just let it fly.”
A bark of laughter burst from him. “Ewww.”
The way Valon shook with laughter felt amazing against his chest. “What? You don’t get peed on every day?”
Marc snorted. “You can aim away from me from your position. It’s more likely you’ll be the one getting pissed on.” He couldn’t stop smiling. It was such a dumb conversation. So typically them.
Valon’s smile could be felt against his neck. “What is wrong with us?”
Nothing. That thought hit hard. There was absolutely fucking nothing wrong with them. They were flawless together. “We’re too much alike.”
“Impossible.” Valon’s immediate response made Marc snuggle closer, settling in for the long haul. Valon stroked his collarbone. “We should do something really crazy and make this entire morning vanish.”
“Just tell me what and I’m in. As long as I’m with you, nothing matters.
Let’s build a rock formation of our names together so it can be seen from the sky.
We could have landscaping mow the words into the grass, or plant flowers in that shape.
Help me out here. I’m trying to think of something harmless but beautiful.
” Marc had a lot of outlandish ideas, but he didn’t want Valon to think their conversation had gone too far.
Valon kissed his neck. “We could get married today.”
Everything inside Marc froze for a second while he absorbed the suggestion.
His cheeks hurt, making him realize how big he smiled.
“Yes. I love it. Let’s get married today.
” Now that the words were out there, the true excitement set in.
He wanted this. In fact, Marc more than wanted them to get married.
He needed it to happen. Maybe the shaking and fear would go away.
The knowledge that Valon was legally his would soothe the insane and greedy beast inside him.
Valon didn’t leap from his lap or cheer. He kept stroking Marc’s collarbone and snuggling. “I’d love for you to take my last name.”
Tears rushed to Marc’s eyes. He fought them.
“There’s nothing I’d rather do.” Marc sounded as moved as he was.
He couldn’t help it. Marc had chosen to go by a shortened version of his middle name to distance himself from his dad.
He had been scared to legally change his entire name for fear of drawing attention to himself with the media.
Plus, his dad still sat on death row. Since it turned out he didn’t really know the man, he didn’t know how he would react to Marc changing his name.
It was possible that even a cage couldn’t hold his evil if Marc denounced him, taking away his trophy.
Maybe he would find a way to hurt him, which was still such an odd thought.
His dad had never laid a finger on him or as much as yelled at his mom.
To this day, finding out he had been raised by a monster felt so unreal.
He couldn’t bring himself to believe his dad didn’t love him, and he wasn’t sure John Campbell was capable of love.
Maybe he just mimicked feelings. Marc had no idea.
But in his heart, he knew if a name change came by marrying someone as amazing as Valon, he would be proud rather than offended.
Marc knew it was such a horrible way of looking at things, but how was he supposed to feel?
No one had helped him deal. They only looked at him with disgust, suspicion, and fear.
No one had worried about his mental health.
But Valon offering him his last name was such a beautiful proposal and moving as hell.
No matter what happened from this moment on, Marc would love and cherish Valon for the rest of their lives, likely even beyond this life.