Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
BILLIE
W ell, I felt stupid. I opened up a bit to Axl on the banks of the river, and he looked straight through me. “I guess the mountain wants me to be here?” I cringed thinking about how dumb that sounded. What did I expect?
He liked sex. I liked sex. We had sex together. Was it a mistake? Probably. Did it matter? Probably not.
I walked a few paces ahead of him the entire way back to the cabin, wrapping my arms around my waist. I lowered my guard and tumbled into his green eyes only to find him staring at me blankly.
I shouldn’t have been disappointed in his non-answer. We made a deal. What happened in Smoke River stayed in Smoke River, and we’d been tipsy and trapped and one thing led to another. That was it. Besides, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so why was I feeling all weird anyway? Axl was hot and a good cook, and he knew how to make an amazing hot toddy, and his dick felt like a magic wand, but we’d had our fun, and it was done now. I needed to stop thinking about how it felt to wake up in front of the fire in his arms and think more about getting home.
I was a Prescott woman, and we did not need help from anyone, especially a man. I felt a renewed sense of resiliency as I retreated to the house.
As I approached the cabin, I saw Cam’s black-and-white nose fiddling with the shutters. Damn that dog was cute.
My body was hot from walking up the hillside. I almost felt like I was overheating when I pushed myself back in through the door.
“Hey,” Axl called when I outpaced him. “Billie?”
“I’m good,” I said, calling to him over my shoulder. “I need to pee.” I lied.
“Pee outside,” he said.
“No, no thank you,” I said, nodding to the cabin. “I’ll make it back inside.”
I didn’t want him to know that he’d hurt my feelings. I was trapped here with him and had allowed myself to daydream and imagine that there’d been more between us than just a hard dick and our bodies responding to each other.
I closed the door and kicked the snow off my boots. Cam greeted me at the door, paws extended. She nudged me and followed me into the great room.
Axl stomped into the kitchen behind me.
I also almost slipped up and mentioned that Gran was gone. I bit my lip and stared at the fire. I should have told him already. Now I had made things super weird. If I told him now, he’d wonder what else I was hiding from him. But who was I kidding? This wasn’t a relationship. This was sex, and I loved sex. I needed to keep our interaction in the right bucket.
“Hey,” he said, eyes narrowing. He wiped snow off his forehead and took off his hat. His cheeks flushed, his eyes focusing on me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, sitting down on the couch, I picked up a magazine and paged through it.
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I said, focusing on being super perky. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? ”
“I don’t know,” he said slowly. He walked into the great room and took a seat in the chair across from me.
“I’m just antsy,” I said. Antsy and feeling vulnerable and pissed off, I thought to myself. “Your phone still doesn’t have a signal?”
He glanced down at his phone. “Nope.”
Axl got up and stoked the fire.
I put down my magazine and stretched out my legs. Cam jumped up on the couch and curled up in an efficient ball at my feet.
Axl raised his eyebrows.
“What?” I said, petting her head. “Does your mean dog dad tell you that you can’t be on the couch?”
“I would think that my landlord’s granddaughter might have a point of view about how her stellar tenant maintains this furnished winter cabin.”
“True. True,” I said, grinning. Petting Cam made me feel better about the world. I looked up and caught Axl watching me. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said. “I just can’t get over that she likes you.”
“Why? Am I that scary? Am I that scary of a girl?” I said, using my best teasing voice. “How long have you had her?”
Axl laughed. “About four years. When I first saw her, she looked at me with those big brown eyes and that was it.” He stopped, his words slowing as I looked up at him.
My hand on Cam’s head petting her, I swallowed realizing that I was looking up at him again. There was a heat between us that I didn’t know what to do with. Once again, I had the feeling that we were in another time, another place. Outside the snow fell, and we had nowhere to go. I swallowed.
“What were you doing for work at Kissimmee?” I asked, trying to fill the silence.
“When I left the military, my buddy and I started a business together. We had some partners in Texas. I always liked the flying more than the business, so I stayed the pilot.”
My eyebrow raised. “So you are more than a pilot.”
He laughed. “I used to be, but I’m retired from that life. I’m a man who loves to fly and who loves the quiet. ”
“I see,” I said, sighing and looking outside. I felt antsy, and Cam must have sensed my frustration. I scooted myself up to a sitting position, and Cam jumped to the floor and ran to the kitchen door. She nudged it with her foot.
“Looks like she needs to go outside,” Axl said, standing.
“You sure we can’t try to move the truck?” I said. “I mean, you have a Jeep. My car has four wheel drive.”
“Yeah, I know.” He looked pained as he stretched his hands into the air. When he reached up, his shirt rose, exposing his tight abs. I looked away before he caught me staring. “Tell you what. I’ll take Cam outside, then we’ll figure out a plan. I’ll be right back.”
Axl opened the door and stepped outside into the snow with Cam at his side. I sunk back into the couch, wondering why the idea of getting out of the cabin, however exhilarating, made me feel like something was slipping through my fingers.
I watched Axl trudge across the snow toward the barn, Cam jumping and spinning at his feet. The snow fell all around, and I was aware that each flake was unique and ephemeral. This was a moment in time, and I knew it would end. The idea made me smile and filled me with a sadness that was difficult to name.