Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
JAX
It’s hard to be pissed about what happened at the warehouse when it led to Kinsley sitting on my bed in my room. Her eyes are taking everything in. I’m sure she’ll scribble it all down in her notebook later.
“So.” Her tongue comes out, swiping across her bottom lip. “Now what?”
“I sent a few messages out to my cousin, and Damon is looking into a few things as well, so right now, we wait.”
“Wait? I’m not good at waiting.” Kinsley hops up from my bed, and all I want to do is grab her and press her back down onto it. She starts pacing back and forth. “This room is really big. The whole house is actually.”
“We’re not in the city. You have more room out here to build.” I don’t want her to be uncomfortable, but I know she comes from money. Still, there is a difference between being rich and being wealthy.
“Right.” She rolls her eyes while shaking her head at me. “This is more than that.”
“It doesn’t matter, though.” Kinsley stops pacing.
“I suppose not. I’m rambling.” She nibbles on her bottom lip.
“Is that what you want to do? Ramble?” She nods, so I give it to her. “Mom built the house years ago. I think her plan was to make it big enough so we’d want to stay, and then one day when we have families of our own, we’d still have our rooms to come back home for the holidays and such.”
Kinsley stops pacing. “That’s really sweet.
It’s not what I expected. Well, maybe it is.
I don’t know. You hear this or that about the Marinos, but then I see you all, and it’s like you’re not the same people.
” I’m sure it’s what most people think about my family, considering our reputation, so I can’t really blame her.
We can be ruthless if we need to be. If you make the moves to push us there, then you’ll pay that price.
“I get that.” Kinsley ventures over to my desk, running her fingers along it. I'm sure they are itching to open the drawers.
"Do you want me to pretend to use the bathroom so you can snoop?" I ask, making her fight a smirk.
"You'd do that?"
"If you wanted, you could snoop while I'm here." There isn't anything worth finding in there. Kinsley pulls open the top drawer, and I hear the pens inside rattle. There are a couple of books in there and a picture. One she picks up.
"Why do you have this?" She holds up her picture. It's the one that was taken this year for student IDs.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Jax, really?"
"I told you already." Starting to think she doesn't believe my infatuation with her. It might be for the best if she comes to terms with it more slowly. Then it won't freak her out. Still freaks me out sometimes. She sets the picture back down on my desk.
"That you've had a thing for me for years."
I nod. "Why do you find this hard to believe?"
"You're you, and well, I'm me." That doesn't explain much, and Kinsley knows it because her brows furrow at her own words. "I'm plain and boring."
"Where the fuck did you come up with that bullshit?"
"I'm not saying I'm ugly." Kinsley props her ass up against my desk. “Just that I’m nothing special. Just ordinary.” I didn’t think Kinsley could get more attractive, but the fact that she doesn’t know how gorgeous she is makes her all the more so.
“You’ve lost your fucking mind if you believe that, Kinsley.” I make a vow to myself at this moment that I will do whatever it takes to make her see herself the way I do. Hell, the way every single warm-blooded male does.
“You’re being nice.” She shrugs one of her shoulders.
“Never been accused of that before.” I wink at her, getting up from the chair I’d dropped into over in the lounge area of my bedroom, which has a couple of chairs and a TV hung over a fireplace.
I was trying to keep space between us so that I could control myself from touching her. I walk over to my bed, dropping down onto it so my back is resting against the headboard. I kick my legs out, getting comfortable for this next part.
“When I masturbate.”
“Masturbate!” Kinsley’s eyes go wide, her cheeks turning redder than they already were.
“That’s what I said.” She opens and then closes her mouth. “You get to think about anything you want.” I keep my eyes locked on hers. “All my fantasies I have right in this bed are about you, Bunny. Every one of them.”
“Jax,” she whispers my name loudly. “What are you doing?”
“Just telling you that you’re a knockout and you’re the only one I fuck my hand and think about.” I pat the bed. “Right here.”
“Oh, my God.” She covers her face with her hands.
“Every night.”
“Jax!” Kinsley snaps, dropping her hands. “Stop trying to embarrass me.”
“I’m the one admitting my fantasies. You want details?”
“No!” She glances down at her feet.
“Liar.” I'm not telling her this because it’s true, which it is. I'm telling her because guilt gnaws at me. I have kept horny assholes away from her. That was my doing. I hate that I might have added to the thought she has of herself that she's ordinary.
“We should talk about something else.” Kinsley licks her lips.
“If you want, but I’m starting to see that my choices aren’t what I thought they would be.” I run my hand across the top of my skull.
“What do you mean?” Again, she licks her lips. Is this turning her on? Thinking about me rubbing one out to her every night? If I flipped up that skirt of hers, would she be wet for me? Fuck. I’d die to bury my face there right now.
"I am an asshole," I admit. "When it comes to what I want, I can be a dick."
"Okay." Her brows pull together, not following me.
"If you think you're average or whatever bullshit you just said, it's because you don't get asked out on dates; that’s due to me." Her expression turns to pure confusion. “I’m both sorry and not sorry at the same time.” This time it’s me who shrugs my shoulders. I refuse to lie to her.
“I’m not following, Jax. What the heck does people not asking me out on dates have to do with you?
” As soon as the words leave her mouth, I can see the lightbulb go off.
Her beautiful brown eyes widen as she comes to the conclusion that I’ve kept the boys at school at bay.
Well, if I’m being honest, not just the ones at school. “How?”
“I think you know the answer to that, Bunny.
But if you want me to elaborate, let's just say by any means necessary. One of the positives of being a Marino and my family's reputation.” I swear I see a small smile touch Kinsley’s lips before she masks it.
Which gives me a huge sense of relief and tells me all I need to know.
She likes the level of obsession I have with her.
“You know that’s so messed up, right?”
“Told you I can be a dick when it comes to what I want.”
“And you want me and don’t share?” She rolls her eyes, shaking her head at the same time.
“I can share, just not when it comes to you.”
“Wow.” Kinsley starts playing with the end of one of her braids. "I don't know how to respond to that."
"Because it should bother you, and it doesn't?"
"I didn't say it doesn't bother me. I just think it's bullshit that you're bullying boys away from me while who knows what you're up to. You don't see me chasing girls off from you."
"You don't need to."
"Seriously?" She cocks her head to the side, and I can tell from her expression she's starting to get pissed. Is it because she's thinking about me with another girl?
I kick my legs over the side of the bed, going straight for her. Kinsley has nowhere to go. Her ass is still pressed to my desk. I have her, dropping one of my hands on each side of her, so there is no escape.
"Jax?"
"I want to make things real clear," I tell her.
"I don't settle. I go after what I want.
I don't waste my time on people who don't matter.
I keep my circle tight, and almost no one gets in.
" I stare into those gorgeous eyes of hers, our lips so damn close to one another’s.
It takes all of my self-control not to lean in a few inches more and steal a kiss.
All of us had gotten that talk when we'd hit our teens. The one about not thinking with your dick. That never ends well. It always comes to bite you in the ass. You'd better know who the person is before you put your dick inside of them and possibly tie them to us forever.
"What are you saying?" Her eyes search my face.
"There aren't any girls for you to worry about, and there won't be. So get that thought out of your pretty little head."
“No girls to worry about. There’s no way you’re that obtuse, Jax.” Kinsley lets out a laugh as though I’ve said the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard in her life.
I do the only thing that I can at that moment. I take her mouth with mine. Not to silence her but to show her that she’s mine and she’ll be the only girl that ever will be.