20. Ben
BEN
Jolie falls asleep beside me, and I don’t have the heart to wake her.
Quietly turning off the TV, I lie down beside her and watch her sleep. She looks so peaceful, still so innocent.
It makes me question myself yet again.
Shit, kissing her was amazing.
I enjoyed it way more than I should have.
Her little tits are perfect. They may be small, but those nipples were beautiful. Sucking them between my lips, feeling the way her body reacted to me…
My woody grew before I could stop it.
Even reliving it for this brief moment is making my dick hard.
With a sigh, I roll away from her, shuffling to the edge of the bed and facing the wall. It takes me ages to go to sleep, and when my alarm starts beeping at 5 a.m., it feels like someone is driving a nail through my head.
I sit up with a jolt and scramble to turn it off.
Jolie groans, and I squint through the darkness, watching her shadowy form stretch like a cat waking up from a nap, then go still… then bolt upright.
“Oh my gosh, did I spend the whole night here?”
I flick on the lamp, and all I can see is her horrified expression.
She squints against the sudden brightness. “What time is it?”
“Five. I can drop you off at your dorm before I go for my run. Are you cool if we check out now?”
Scrambling off the bed, she rushes across to the chaise, stubbing her toe on the way.
“Ow! Shoot! Ow!”
“Are you okay?” I quickly jump out of bed.
Flopping onto the chaise, she squeezes her big toe, in obvious discomfort. “I’m fine. I just kicked the leg of the bed. Where are my shoes?”
She seems almost panicked, so I keep my movements smooth and easy, trying to calm her down without saying anything.
Handing over her shoes, I then get myself ready to go. We haven’t spread out too much—it was only one night, not even twelve hours—so it doesn’t take long.
Opening the door, I wait for her to grab her handbag. She’s smoothing down the back of her hair as she rushes past me, then kind of jogs for the elevator.
“Sorry that I didn’t wake you. I just figured because we had the room booked for the whole night, we—”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. I’ve just never spent an entire night in the same bed as a man before, and I’m worried that…” She jiggles on her toes like she suddenly needs to pee.
“Worried about what?” The elevator doors ping open, and I let her step in first.
She leans back against the wall and glances up at me. “What people will think. What my roommate will think.” Her expression crumples as if she’s just thought of something even worse. “What my parents will say.”
“You don’t have to tell anyone.” I shrug, trying to bring some calm into this situation.
She’s seriously starting to spiral. “I’ll have you back to your room by five thirty.
Your roommate will still be asleep, and you can sneak in and pretend like you got home after she went to bed.
Which is technically true, so you don’t even have to lie. ” I grin.
She gives me a dubious frown but then tips her head as though she agrees with me.
Checkout is easy because I prepaid, so I simply drop the key card at the front desk and walk to my car. I parked it myself behind the building, and as promised, I get Jolie back to Buckley Hall by 5:30 a.m.
“What’s your roommate like anyway?” I ask when I roll to a stop beside the curb.
“She’s okay.” Jolie shrugs, then looks almost sad. “I don’t know her very well yet. She only just moved in. The roommate who was there before left because…” Her voice trails off, her gray eyes glassing over. “Actually, I don’t know why she left. She wouldn’t tell me.”
“And that hurt you,” I state the obvious, gently tucking her hair behind her ear.
She sniffs, her shoulder hitching. “I know I can be a challenging person sometimes. I’m too enthusiastic, overfriendly. I definitely talk too much, which must be so annoying. I know it is—people have told me it is. Maybe she felt the same way but just didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
I watch her for a beat, kind of hating what she just said about herself.
Sure, she can be a little hyper, but I don’t find that too annoying. At least she has a zest for life, you know?
You can think that because you don’t live with her 24-7.
But even if I did… would she drive me crazy?
Her gaze flicks up, connecting with mine for a brief second before dropping back to her bobbing knee.
Licking the corner of my mouth, I try to make her feel better. “Maybe it’s not about you at all. Maybe she left because of something to do with her.”
She glances at me like that thought hadn’t even occurred to her.
I watch her cute little blinks and end up smiling.
With a thick swallow, she dips her chin. “Thanks, Ben. For… being so nice.”
Scratching my morning stubble, I acknowledge the compliment with a stiff nod.
“And for… everything you did for me last night. I’m sorry it didn’t work, but I really appreciated that you tried.”
“We can try again if you want.”
What? Why did you just say that?
“Really?” Her voice pitches with hope, and I’m too busy trying to figure out what just fell out of my mouth.
“Thank you so much. That would be… I mean, if you’re okay with it.
I feel like I want to give it one more try.
Even if it doesn’t work, I really enjoyed all the kissing and the…
” She squirms in her seat, her cheeks flushing red, and something in my chest pops.
I don’t know how she does it, but saying no to her seems impossible.
“Sure. We should definitely try again. You’ll get more confident the more we do this, and…” I force out a soft laugh. “One more tutoring session can’t hurt, right?”
“Tutoring.” She giggles. “Right.”
“I’ll, uh…” I blow out a quick breath. “I’ll text you.”
“Okay.” Her smile is so sweet, her dimples popping into place before she slips out of the car… and I’m swallowed by instant regret.
Fuck!
Why did I offer again?
Because you want to help her.
Because she tasted sweeter than a ripe mango.
Because she thinks people find her annoying, and you want to prove her wrong.
Shit.
I drive home, get changed, and go for my regular morning run. I shorten it because it took me longer than I expected to drop Jolie off at her dorm, plus I’m running faster than normal, trying to burn off this energy coursing through me.
I’m plagued by memories of Jolie’s sweet lips, her boobs, her smooth skin… that little moan she made when I first wrapped my lips around her nipple.
You’re not attracted to her, remember? You’re not attracted!
Picking up my pace, I sprint the last quarter mile and run straight through the front door and up to the bathroom.
Thankfully, it’s free. I pushed so hard on the run, I almost feel like throwing up as I strip off my clothes and jump into the shower.
I’m a sweaty mess, still catching my breath…
but I need to get under that hot water. I need to deal with this semi that’s quickly growing into a hard woody.
Burying my head under the spray, I soap up my hand, slap the other against the wall, and go for it.
I let myself relive every second of my time with Jolie, then imagine what it would have been like to go all the way with her, to bury myself inside her.
She must have the sweetest pussy in the world. Damn.
I’m as hard as a fucking steel pole, and I pump myself into a frenzied explosion, squirting the shower wall and coming all over my hand before finally feeling that sense of relief.
Shit, so much for my lack of attraction.
Dammit.
It’s going to be even worse next time, isn’t it?
Because she’ll get more confident, and she might let me takes things a little further. It’ll make me hard and needy, and it’ll take every ounce of control to keep this all about her.
I can do it.
I will do it.
Because I’m a man of my word.
But it looks as though I might have some major self-care in my future.
And as soon as she finally hits that high… as soon as I’m able to deliver on my promise… I have to stop this thing.
Because I said no female drama this year.
No falling in love.
And I’m not putting myself at risk, especially for a girl with big gray eyes and cute dimples.