His Redemption (Empire State of Love #3)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Jessie

“And now downward facing dog,” the yoga instructor says calmly. “Raise your right leg into the air and hold it.”

Another dozen or so drops of sweat fall from my forehead to the mat, causing my hands to continue to slip.

The room is dark, but I look at everyone around me, and they seem to be handling the temperature just fine. Even Eva—my best friend, who just happened to have a baby a month ago—doesn’t seem to be struggling.

“Can you breathe?” I whisper to her as panic begins to build in my body. “I don’t think this is a normal amount of sweat that my body is producing.”

“Shh,” Eva replies quietly. “It’s hot yoga. You’re supposed to sweat.”

There is no way this is normal. I feel like a lobster just placed in a boiling pot. How long has it been? It’s a sixty-minute class, but it must have already been ninety minutes.

I bet the instructor has just lost track of time. I should tell her.

“And let’s bring our leg down to the mat and move to our child’s pose.”

Thank fuck. I nearly fall down to my knees as I let my arms relax above my head. This is not what was advertised on the website, where it boasted about opening your pores, detoxifying your body, and promoting overall well-being.

I fail to see how passing out from a heatstroke promotes anything, except for a medical bill after being transported to the emergency room for severe dehydration.

I drank water before this, but I must have sweat out more than I’ve drunk in the last month.

Eva and I walk outside to the streets of New York City in the sweltering July heat.

“Ah, I feel so refreshed.” Eva smiles. “Wasn’t that amazing?”

I side-eye her so hard; if it were possible to sprain your eyeball, it would happen. “Eva, that was literal hell on earth.”

“Hell on earth? It wasn’t that bad. Maybe you pushed yourself too hard your first time. The instructor said you could always go into child’s pose if you needed a break.”

We open the door to the café next door to Satan’s den. The air-conditioning hits my body like a blanket of sympathy for what I just endured.

“And be the only loser who couldn’t keep up? No thank you!”

Eva sighs as we take a seat by the window. “You’re too competitive.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It works well in my career.”

Eva laughs lightly. “I can only imagine what other lawyers must feel when they realize they are going up against you.”

“They should feel shame. That means they’re representing awful parents who have created an unsafe environment for their children.”

I’m a family lawyer for a small firm in the city. I work tirelessly to guarantee children are taken away from abusive or neglectful parents, or a parent is given a safe space with the children, away from their abusive partner.

It’s not the highest-paying avenue to take as a lawyer, but it’s meaningful. I still make a decent living.

Eva leans her chin on her hand. “I don’t know how you do it. Now that I’m a mother, I can’t imagine seeing abusive parents for work on the daily. I’d be so jaded.”

“It’s not easy. There are some days the environment really sucks me into a negative thought cycle. But we aren’t here to talk about my job. How’s motherhood treating you? It looks good on you.”

Sure, she looks tired. The bags under her eyes are a bit more pronounced. She isn’t wearing any makeup, and her hair is up in a messy bun. But there’s a glow to her. A sense of peace that radiates off her, like she’s finally found her purpose.

“It’s amazing. Exhausting. Perfect. Tiring.”

“That’s a whole lot of contradiction.” I laugh.

“Motherhood is an entire world of contradictions.”

“And Roman? Is he handling it well?”

I swear if red hearts could appear above her head at the mention of his name, there would be hundreds.

“He’s the best father. It all seems so natural for him. I catch myself just staring at him and Addie all the time, wondering how I could deserve such a perfect life.”

“That’s bananas. You, out of anyone I know, deserve it.”

I mean it too. Eva is such a kind soul. She has been my best friend since high school. We’ve known each other since junior high. We’ve been through a lot together. I love seeing her happily ever after come true. Though it does make me wonder if I’m cursed.

The dating game has not been kind to me. I always seem to attract the dicks. Men—and I’m using that word generously—who seem to have a Peter Pan complex.

“Walker is hilarious with Addie.” She laughs behind her coffee cup that the waitress just filled.

My stomach clenches at the mention of her brother.

“You should see him. He holds her for a minute, then panics when she starts fidgeting.”

I chuckle slightly, tired of acting indifferent about the man who ruined me. “I can see that. Walker doesn’t give off I’m a natural with baby vibes.”

“Aw, but he’s sweet with her. He’ll get there. He’s never been around babies. I think I was the last one he was around, and he was six.”

Eva doesn’t know about my history with her brother. To her, it’s just a friendly rivalry because we’ve known each other since I was twelve and he was eighteen.

“I’m so happy for you. Addie is adorable. I miss her already, but I’ve been so busy all week.”

“You don’t have to feel bad if you can’t come over every week.”

“I don’t feel bad. I just miss her. I want to snuggle.”

It’s true. Addie’s snuggles are amazing. I love the feeling of her warm head tucked under my chin. I swear my blood pressure instantly drops.

We eat our breakfast quickly so she can get back to Addie to nurse her.

I stroll down the streets of Manhattan as I realize I’m at an impasse in my life.

At twenty-seven, I’m too old to go out and party like I used to. It feels meaningless.

With nothing else to do this afternoon, I walk into the nearest coffee shop and buy my favorite iced coffee with caramel syrup.

I probably shouldn’t be drinking all this caffeine after sweating every ounce of fluid in my body, but I need this. I need a distraction from the creeping loneliness that’s been plaguing me.

Central Park is only a couple of minutes from me. In lieu of going home, I decide a walk around the park might help. Maybe it’ll clear my head, give me some ideas on a good reset.

Maybe I just need a new haircut. Something crazy and daring. Not my current long blonde hair. Bangs maybe?

And just like that, I’m making an appointment on my phone as I sip on my drink. They can’t get me in for three weeks, which sucks, but I guess it’ll give me time to figure out what I want to do.

Bangs seem fun, but I also get annoyed if I get any hair in my face, so the idea scares me. What if they piss me off all day long?

This is what my life has come to. Obsessing over bangs as I stroll through the park by myself with no sense of direction. I need a change. I just don’t know what my next move should be.