Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Walker
Isit at a table in a low-key bar in Manhattan as I wait for the guys to show up. My buddy Colton asked for a happy hour to get the guys together. I originally declined until Eva told me to get my butt out with the guys and that she would stop over and hang with Eli and Addie until I got home.
I was still hesitant this morning while I was on the phone with her. Mrs. M, not subtle in her eavesdropping, told me I should do it. She said not letting myself take breaks from work or parenting wasn’t good for me and that Eli needed a father who was happy and healthy.
I’m doing my best to take advice from the people that I trust, so even though I was skeptical, I agreed.
Lincoln is the first one to show up. His wife, Kylie, is at home with their baby boy, who is about to turn one soon.
Roman walks in moments later.
We order our drinks as we wait for the rest of the gang to show up.
There are six of us. We all went to college together here in NYC.
Lincoln is the CEO of a major airline company, Roman owns several high-end hotels across the globe, Colton is a doctor in oncology, and then Sawyer and Dean own a massive tech company.
“Why does it feel like it’s been years since the six of us have gotten a drink together?” Lincoln asks as he takes a sip of his whiskey.
Roman laughs. “Because there’s always one of us missing. Life, man—it only gets crazier.”
“Speaking of,” Lincoln replies, “how is Addie doing?”
Roman steals a glance my way first, no doubt wondering if I’m going to step in and tell Lincoln about Eli. I will. I’m just waiting for everyone to get here.
Sawyer and Dean come in next, the most casually dressed out of the five of us. Typically, tech guys don’t have to worry about playing the part.
“It’s about damn time I saw your face.” Sawyer clips Roman on the back. “You look good for an old man.”
Roman scoffs. “I can’t wait until you fall in love and have kids. I’ve got an endless list of jokes that I’m patiently waiting to use.”
Sawyer winces. “Hate to break it to you, brother, but that ain’t gonna happen.”
Colton appears behind Sawyer. “What’s not gonna happen?” he asks.
The group breaks out into a chorus of laughter.
“Sawyer is apparently immune to love.” Lincoln smiles.
Colton shakes his head with an amused look. “I feel ya, man. Just keep your head down and focus on work.”
Sawyer nods. “Damn straight.”
“Enough about this fool’s emotional issues,” Dean quips as he gestures to Sawyer. “I need a drink.”
Time passes along as we enjoy our drinks and catch each other up on work. Roman and Lincoln update us on how their wives and kids are. For all the kidding Sawyer and Colton do about never falling in love, they are genuinely happy for Roman and Lincoln.
Roman’s eyes settle on me with a thoughtful look. “Walker,” he inserts, “anything new with you?”
His eyebrows rise, as if to silently tell me that now is the time. I take a breath and push my shoulders back to try and relieve some of the building tension.
“Uhhh,” I start as I look around at curious eyes, “there has been one little surprise that’s taken up a lot of my time.”
“You’ve got my attention,” Colton says. “The only thing that takes up your time is work.”
I chuckle at the irony. “Yeah, it used to be that way. Now, it’s something a little different.”
“Don’t leave us hanging,” Sawyer replies.
“I have a daughter,” I say on an exhale, relieved to just get the words out.
I trust these guys with my life, but I still brace for the same reaction as my parents. Are they going to tell me I’ve ruined my career too?
“A daughter …” Lincoln states as if maybe he didn’t hear me correctly.
My head moves up and down as I look down into my whiskey. I tell them the details, and some of them even remember Amelia.
“Wow,” Colton says. “How are you handling all of this? And where is … Eli, is it?”
“Yeah, Eli. She’s with Eva right now.”
Roman nods when everyone’s eyes meet his, letting them know he knew about this.
“At first, I was pretty fucking scared.”
I chuckle as I realize my mistake. “I’m still scared. But it’s different now. I’m less concerned about how it will affect my life and more about how all of this will affect hers.”
Lincoln slaps my back a couple of times. “I’m damn proud of you, man. That’s a hell of a situation to be thrown into, and it sounds like you’ve handled it like a true man.”
Roman nods his head. “He has. He’s been great with Eli. He’s an amazing dad. We should all be proud of him.”
Lincoln grabs a drink and lifts it up. “To Walker,” he announces.
Everyone clinks their drinks together. Meanwhile, I’m trying my best to keep in the tears that want to break free. These guys have no idea what it means to me to have their unwavering support. It’s true what they say about family; it’s not always blood. These guys are my family.
Dean orders the table another round of whiskey on him as the conversation thankfully turns back to lighthearted fun.
“Colton, how’s work going? You are rarely the one setting these little happy hours up. Everything all right at the hospital?”
His eyes are droopy and tired, which can be normal for a doctor, but they also hold something deeper in them. He’s going through something. I don’t know what it is, but I can see it.
He smiles, but it’s not as wide as usual. “Just needed a break. You know, long hours and all.”
I don’t buy it. He always works long hours. In fact, he thrives on it. He has been chasing this addiction for years, trying to save every single one of his patients. I’ve worried it would one day catch up with him.
Instead of calling him on it in front of everyone, in such a public space, I try to steer the conversation for the next hour to lighter grounds. Right now, I’m thinking he needs to laugh and forget for a little bit.
Roman and I call it quits early so we can get back to Eva and the girls.
All of the guys insist on having some kind of get-together this weekend so they can meet Eli.
Not only did I worry about them being supportive, but I also had no idea how quickly they would want to be part of this new version of my life.
Roman insists we use his driver so we can get back to the girls faster.
When we walk through the door, Addie and Eli look freshly bathed, and they’re in their pajamas, resting in the dip of Eva’s arms while she reads a book.
Before I can ask how the night went, Jessie comes walking out from the kitchen with two bottles in her hand. My heart and body both take notice.
“Hi.” She smiles at me while she continues to walk the bottles over to Eva.
She hands Eva a bottle, then takes my daughter into her arms and sits down next to Eva and begins to feed her the bottle.
The image of it—like the scene from the other morning—sticks with me, tangling everything in my head.
I don’t know how to separate the simplicity of casually dating from the reality that she’s woven so tightly into the most intimate parts of my life.
She’s not just someone I’m seeing. She’s already part of the moments that matter most.
“I called Jessie to come hang with me while you guys were out,” Eva clarifies, like it matters to me the reason she’s here. I’m just happy to see her. “I just want to give Addie this bottle, and then we need to head out.”
“How was the night out?” Jessie asks as Roman and I take a seat in the chairs diagonal from them.
“Good,” I reply. “It was really nice to see the guys.”
Eva and Jessie give each other a knowing look.
“Did you tell them about Eli?” Eva asks.
Roman smiles. “He told them. I can tell he was nervous. Not sure why. He should know by now that we’ve always got his back.”
“Good for you,” Eva says. “I know it was hard for you to do that. All of this will get easier. If I haven’t said it already, I’m so proud of how you’ve taken all of this on. You jumped into this role as Eli’s father so seamlessly, and you’re doing a phenomenal job. She’s so lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, sis,” I choke out, filled with emotion.
Addie sucks her bottle down like a champ, beating Eli by a landslide. Eva gets a burp out of her immediately. Then they get her strapped into the car seat and head downstairs to the driver, leaving me and Jessie alone.
Eli finishes her bottle, and Jessie giggles. “Dude, she is conked out. Look at the milk coma this girl is in right now.”
Eli’s bottom lip is hanging open, her precious eyelids shut, and she’s not making the tiniest movement, even as Jessie nudges her arm slightly.
I smile. “Last time she did that, she nearly slept through the night.”
“Oh, maybe you’ll get lucky tonight.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
My body goes rigid at the possibility. I look her up and down. “I hope so.”
She swallows. “I can go put her in her bassinet.”
Heat surges through me at the thought of her here, close enough to touch. The memory of her last night—writhing beneath her own hand—burns bright in my mind, making the need to claim her almost unbearable.
The moment she walks out of my room, I push myself out of the chair and stalk right up to her. Her eyes open wide, surprised for a fleeting second, before I see the desire etched inside of them.
I walk forward, but she takes a step back.
“Jessie,” my deep voice says, “do you think you are in control again?”
Another step forward, but she does the same thing. “I’m always in control,” she whispers.
“That’s cute,” I reply with a smirk as I keep walking forward, leading her directly into the guest bedroom. “But I think you want me to take control.”
I place the monitor on the dresser, then give her my full attention. “Tell me, Jessie”—I bring a finger to her chin and make her meet my eyes—“do you want me to take control tonight?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” she stutters.
I crane my head to the side. “Do you want to see what happens when I take all of the control away from you?”