2. Lasting Impressions #2
We were going to be alone! Not until we got to the house. Nevertheless, I was on the verge of panic at the thought of it. I couldn’t help feeling relieved that I’d have some time to get myself together in the car. “That’s a good idea. I have a booster for Angel in my car.”
“Okay, shall we head out?”
Angelica safely buckled in her seat, I took some deep breaths and tried not to freak the fuck out.
I knew I owed Dakota some sort of explanation, I just couldn’t muster the words.
My head thumped with a brewing migraine.
My visions were impossible to call when I had a headache, so I didn’t even try to see if Dakota was safe to be around.
I just had to trust my gut, fate and my alter on this.
Following Dakota’s silver truck carefully, we soon pulled up in front of a small, pretty house in what seemed like a pleasant neighborhood.
I pulled into a parking space behind a simple, gray car I assumed belonged to Ryder.
Kade. Shaking myself, I got out of the car.
At some point, I’d get used to the new name.
I followed my mate into the house, finding it exactly as I would have imagined my son’s house to look if I’d really thought about it.
It was cozy and welcoming, with throw blankets and soft looking cushions.
There was colorful art on the walls. It felt like a home.
Kade had truly settled here. He had friends.
A life. Somewhere safe and warm to rest in.
Did I have a place in my son’s life now? What if too much had changed? How was he going to react to seeing me? My head pulsed with pain as I remembered how I’d last seen him. The council may have reassured me he was okay, but seeing it was something very different.
Dakota took us deeper into the house, pointing out the rooms as he went.
He was familiar with where things were. Each time he found something, it grated at me, jealousy pulling my nerves tight.
I wanted to snap at him to go. It hurt to have him so close, but to know that I didn’t fit in his world.
There was no space for me and really he’d be better off without all the drama that I brought.
I was broken. A damaged omega fox with far too much baggage for anyone.
“I, uh, helped Kade out when he was ill recently.” Dakota finally offered in the strained silence.
My heart stopped. I’d hated everything about being apart from my baby boy for the last few years.
Knowing that he had been ill and had needed help at home just about killed me.
Would anyone have told me if he was hurt?
Would they have allowed me to visit? “He was ill?” My voice sounded faint in the quiet room.
We’d left Angelica with some snacks in front of the TV.
“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “blockers and scent changing magic don’t mix. He’d been on the blockers for too long.”
Fuck! “Is he okay?”
Dakota looked really uncomfortable suddenly, and I wondered what he wasn’t saying when he eventually spoke up. “There were a rough couple of days, but I think he’s okay now.” He was hiding something. I could tell.
Frustration bubbled at my lack of visions. Why was the goddess deserting me now? Eventually, I resigned myself to waiting for proper answers and took a deep breath, releasing it with a heavy sigh. “That’s great.”
Soon we ran out of things to tidy and organize.
I’d left Angelica to get ready for bed in the smaller bedroom while I filled the kettle to make a cup of tea.
A large part of me wanted to ask Dakota to leave, except I didn’t know how to tell him that tactfully.
I didn’t know how he would take another rejection and I was done with thinking.
My head gave another pulse of pain. Today was not the day for heavy conversations.
The last few days were catching up with me, and I just wanted to put my daughter to bed and go to sleep myself.
“Dakota, will you read me a story? It’s my bedtime.” Angelica called from the smaller bedroom that we’d claimed for her.
Nope. I needed to end this now. She had never asked Silas to read to her.
I could see Angel becoming attached already, perhaps sensing our bond.
“Dakota can’t, darling.” I called back. “He has to go now. You’ll see him again at some point, I’m sure.
” Hopefully not for a while, so I could get myself sorted out, figure out the right words to say to make him understand I was no good for him. I turned to him. “I’ll see you out.”
He didn’t argue. Just opened and closed his mouth as if he wanted to speak and then followed me through the house to the front door. “Are we going to talk about this?” Dakota asked, as he stood in the open doorway.
“No.” I said clearly, with no hesitation. Then I closed the door on his face. I turned and rested my aching head against the wood and blew out a sigh. That had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but it was the right thing. For both of us. Sometimes fate just got it wrong.
I could almost feel him on the other side of the door and I quickly hurried to my room before I changed my mind and threw open the door.
Shit. I was the worst.