8. Moon Run #2
Jealousy unfurled its wings inside my stomach, and I clamped my mouth shut until my words were under control. I was a hypocrite. “That’s lovely of her. Enjoy your night.” Then I quickly hung up before anything could slip out.
Guilt twisted my stomach painfully. There was me being jealous of a random girl when I shared the same pack as my fated mate.
It took a second, but a message came through.
Si: I’m doing favors so I can get time off to visit for your heat. Call me tomorrow?
Successfully distracted from my worries over my son, I now had relationship issues to think about.
Charlotte Ford was a notorious man-eater and power to her, but I prayed to The Luna that she didn’t set her sights on my man.
My conscience reminded me I wasn’t that invested in my relationship with him, or I’d be making more of an effort.
When was the last time that I’d given him more than a passing thought?
I probably wouldn’t have called him if I hadn’t got the box of my things that he hadn’t even bothered to send.
Sure, he’d boxed them, but he’d made no effort to get them to me.
Another headache brewed with how hard I was thinking about this situation. I knew all I needed to do was let Silas know I wanted to be with him properly. Play my part and do the work, but I had to admit that my heart wasn’t in it. The damn thing was miles away with my gorgeous bear shifter mate.
A mate that I was about to see. He and all the pack and most of Kade’s friends were invited to the pack lands for a proper full moon celebration where Kade and Blake would announce their news and shift with the pack.
It would be our first time shifting in Sweetwater and part of me was nervous about letting my fox out among strangers.
More than that, I was worried about letting my fox out in front of my mate’s bear.
Our animal selves were more of a slave to scents and our goddesses’ whims. Over the last few weeks, I’d struggled with my alter more than I ever had.
That included all the years of abuse with Rincoln where my alter begged me to leave and make our pup safe.
If I was really honest with myself, I wasn’t scared about losing Silas because of the feelings I had for the guy.
I was worried about losing my excuse. Silas was a safety blanket from taking a chance on fate.
I’d made a knee jerk reaction and dug myself further in the hole and now I worried I’d never get out of it.
The more I heard about my mate, learning about him from the glimpses I’d gotten of him since our chat, I’d come to realize I’d made a massive mistake and had no clue how to fix it.
Well, that was a lie. I’d have to end things with Silas and then go to my mate and say sorry.
Dakota wanted me to beg, and really, he deserved as much.
I’d rejected him three times. I just wasn’t ready. It might be a long time before I was.
The pack celebration was well under way.
The announcement had already been made, so people could congratulate the couple before we all shifted when the moon was high.
I mingled with my new pack, greeting familiar faces and accepting congratulations wherever I went.
It made me glad that I’d decided it was time to put down roots.
I still didn’t know what it meant for me and Silas, especially with the growing distance between us.
We hadn’t had much of a chance to talk about anything on our call, but I couldn’t factor a man into my decision-making process.
I scanned the crowd for Angel and found her attached to Dakota.
Again. I should have just looked for him first. She hadn’t left his side for more than a minute the whole time that he’d been here.
She’d seen him and shouted, “Bear!” and ran to him.
He’d been carrying her around ever since.
I wanted to be bitter and angry about her getting attention from him. I just couldn’t deny her a friend here.
Right then, he had Angel balanced on one hip as he chatted with Kade.
His arm snaked around Kade and he squeezed him close, then ruffled those curls in such a paternal gesture that my heart caught in my throat.
Kade’s bright amber eyes, the same as mine, were lit with joy and affection as they chatted.
The picture that they made together brought tears to my eyes. They were perfect, and I was denying myself this, keeping it from Dakota, too. For what reason, I wasn’t sure. Fear, mostly, that it was too good to be true.
Would he ever forgive me for preventing him from playing his true role in their lives?
“Are you okay?” One teen from the bunch surrounding me asked.
I sniffed and nodded, continuing my task of helping the kids get some food.
I watched them all carefully to make sure that they’d all eaten enough and not filled up on junk.
Soon the line eased and people moved off into groups.
We had about an hour before we’d all run and the younger ones were all curled up to have a nap first.
I watched Kade join his mate and looked for a spot for me to rest with Angel. I was too late, though; she was already curled up asleep in Dakota’s lap. He was petting her head and listening to the surrounding chatter.
As if he felt my eyes on him, our eyes met. The pain in those glossy dark depths gutted me. I felt it like a physical punch to the gut. It knocked the air out of my lungs. My eyes filled again, a stray tear broke free and ran down my cheek.
Dakota watched me, his expression now shuttered, and I wondered how I’d ever make this right.