Chapter 18 - Kaleb
I watched her walk down the stairs, and I felt my heart skip a beat. Every time I saw her, I found myself feeling the tug deep in my chest to pull her close and hold her. I swallowed, suddenly nervous about how this dinner was going to go. She would either understand me or push me away.
“You look wonderful,” I said, taking in the all-black dress that clung to her tightly.
“Thank you,” she said as she grabbed her purse while pulling on some black heels. “Where are we going tonight?”
“The boat house. I set a reservation. Jade and Brandon are constantly talking about the food, so I figured we could go there. See if the food is actually good or if they are just talking shit.”
She chuckled, “I’m sure they have good food.”
The drive to the boathouse was quiet. Once we arrived, we headed inside, and I held the door open for Jade. Inside the restaurant was busy but not packed.
I placed my hand on her back. “Are you uncomfortable?”
She looked at me and shook her head. “No, I’m just thinking, that’s all.”
“About?”
The hostess came to the front smiling at us. “Do you guys have a reservation?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Under Kaleb.”
She nodded and grabbed a couple of menus. “I’ll have you follow me.”
She took us to a booth with a window view of the river. She gave us our menus, and we both ordered water.
I placed my menu down. “What are you thinking about?”
Her lips formed a line, and her eyes fell empty. “About you and your father. I know you guys have a difficult relationship.” She paused, fiddling with her menu. “But I don’t understand why you don’t want to get married and have children.”
“I…”
“Welcome to the boathouse! What can I get started for you guys?” The waitress stopped at our table, giving us an eager smile. Nora looked down at her menu, embarrassed. “The special for tonight is crab boil. Special dessert is Molten brownie, and the special drinks are three-dollar martinis.”
Nora scrabbled to look at the menu, and I looked at the waitress. “I’ll do the special for dinner.”
“Same,” Nora said, placing her menu down.
The waitress beamed before turning and walking away. Nora turned her gaze back to me. She swallowed, placing her hands on the table. “You were saying.”
I wet my lips. “You’ve met our father. He isn’t exactly the loving type.”
Nora made a face that told me she wasn’t going to argue the point.
“I’m sure you’ve heard plenty from Jade. Our father wasn’t loving or comforting. He was much harder on Nora than he was on me. But that didn’t mean I didn’t get the cruel side of him.”
I thought of my childhood and how I spent endless hours trying to protect Jade. I was always there for her when she needed me. For any event she had, I went. She had a school event, and I attended. Anytime Jade needed me, I made it my life mission to be there for her.
But I always felt the harder I worked, the worse my father became to her. He always said I was focusing too much on her, that I should be focusing on my own future and what I wanted in life.
When Brandon decided to leave the pack, I thought maybe things would be better for her here. I wouldn’t be around for my father to constantly watch. I figured maybe things would calm down, and for the first time, he’d start seeing how great Jade was. I had been wrong.
“Did Jade ever tell you that our father never attended anything for her? Even for parents and teachers’ conferences, I went because he was too busy.”
Nora’s eyebrows went up. “Seriously?”
I nodded. “I was only a few years older than her, but I still tried to make sure that she didn’t feel forgotten.
My father went to all of my events, and not a single one for her.
When it came to being showered with love, I always did everything right, and she never could do anything correct.
I knew it weighed heavily on her. I saw the way her sparkle slowly faded.
We were both aware I was his golden child. ”
Nora tapped her finger on the table nervously. “I know. He doesn’t exactly hide it.”
“Our dad calculates everything. He has a reason for it all. Even the house he has, which is right next to Brandon’s parents.
That was on purpose. He wanted to be the Alpha’s right-hand man and learn everything he could.
He figured either Brandon and I would be Alpha, and if I didn’t get the role, I should at least be second best.”
I remembered moving in. Jade and I were only little. Brandon and his parents had already lived there. We pulled up, and Brandon was in the yard on a scooter. I could instantly tell he had Alpha potential. When we met his father, I could see it oozing out of him. Brandon was raised to be a leader.
Our father bought the house on purpose. He wanted Brandon and me to get close. Because if I didn’t become Alpha, then I could be Beta. Still in control somehow.
“I didn’t even choose Brandon as a friend.”
Nora looked surprised at this. “Really?”
I nodded. “He would ask me to hang out, and I refused. My main focus was always Jade. Brandon took me in under his wing. He was the one who never stopped reaching out.”
Nora looked a little surprised by this. “I didn’t know that.”
“It was a long time ago, but it just proves my father has always been this way. He didn’t change when he got married, he didn’t change when he had children, and he didn’t change when he lost his wife.”
She frowned. “And you think you’ll be the same?”
“I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to have children and ever make them feel the way I knew we felt. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I slowly turned into him without realizing it.”
She went silent for a long moment. The music was the only noise between us. She looked away, taking in the view. “You aren’t your father. You’re not even close to being like him.”
“I’m not like him now because I’m always reminding myself not to be. I have control over this.”
“Kaleb, you are two different people. Your father is a heartless person. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Even though you are the golden child, he still used that. He raised you to be an Alpha. How can you think you’re like him?”
I looked down at my hands. “I look just like him. I look in the mirror, and I see him.”
I could still hear all the reminders. Hold your head high. Don’t let them see you being weak. You represent me, so do it perfectly. What if I started saying those same words to my kids? What if I slowly started to distance myself from my wife? What if I were just like him?
Her hand reached over the table. “Kaleb, you are not your father. You guys aren’t close to being alike.
You grew up taking care of your sister rather than letting your father tear her apart.
I know you’re her role model, and that has to mean something.
If she cares about you that much, you have to be doing something right. ”
I soaked her words in, knowing she had a point. I worked hard on being a better person than him. But that didn’t shake the years of reminding myself to be better. The years I told myself I would never get married and have children because I didn’t want to end up like him.
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“I understand…but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re wrong. I will never know what you guys went through, but I sympathize. It’s hard stepping out of a shadow that follows you.”
“Jade told me about your parents.”
Nora looked a little surprised by this. Just then, the waitress came back with our water.
Nora took a long sip of it before playing with her straw.
“I should have expected that. We’ve been together so she might have figured I told you.
” She sighed softly. “My father wasn’t a great parent.
So, I have to overcome the fear of being like them.
I always feared I would turn into my father. ”
“It’s easier said than done.”
Nora nodded. “It is. But if anyone can do it, you can too.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “And I’m here if you need a reminder that you are nothing like him.”
The next day, we packed up to go for another hunt. Westley and Asher were standing near the picnic table, going over the map when I arrived.
“Where’s Brandon?” I asked as I walked toward them.
“He messaged that he was running a few minutes later. Should be here soon.”
“What’s the plan this time?”
Westley pointed to a large circle on the map. “We’re going to be on the West side of the woods. Jade said she was sensing something in that direction. There is a small town right there.”
I nodded as I took in the coordination for the day. “Who’s all going this time?”
“Us, Brandon, and Jade. We wanted to keep it small and travel light today.”
I nodded when I heard the sound of a car door. I turned around and spotted Brandon as he got out of his vehicle. I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said Jade was going to join?”
Westley and Asher both nodded. “Brandon said she was joining, but maybe something came up with Ilsa, and she decided to stay behind. I guess three of us will be fine.”
Brandon walked toward us and sighed, looking like he’d been through a battle already. He paused as he shook his head. “You’re not going to like this.”
“Like what?” Asher asked, looking confused.
“Not you guys,” Brandon said, turning his gaze to me. “It would seem that Nora will be joining us today.”
All eyes fell to me, and I snorted. There was no way that Nora was going to be joining us. She would have mentioned it to me.
Before Brandon could say anything, another car pulled up, and I spotted Jade and Nora both in the car. My heart stopped beating as I realized he was being serious.
I looked at Brandon. “What the hell! She can’t join us out there!”
“Well, it would seem that Nora is indeed joining us,” Westley murmured as he got up from the table.
“Brandon, please tell me you told her no.”
Brandon scratched at his head. “It wasn’t me that said she could join.”