13. Conflicted
Conflicted
Kade
L eaving Blake had been more difficult than I’d thought it would be. Already he had me wishing that I’d accepted a full bond and allowed him to take control of my burdens. He may be younger than me, but his thundercloud colored eyes held the wisdom and patience of a man twice his age.
Of course, I knew why that was. He’d seen some shit in his young life.
Probably more than I had, if I was being truly honest. A controlling and abusive alpha father, a mother who had died because of one of his beatings, a pack almost left in tatters by leaders that didn’t care.
Then having to take over as pack leader as soon as he came of age.
Not to mention there were rumors Blake had graduated high school early and forgone college so that he could help rescue the farm and finances before they went bankrupt.
The man had been running the pack from behind the scenes where he could.
I showered again when I got home, trying to erase his scent, then checked the millions of messages I had.
Okay, so that was an exaggeration, but Dakota and Shelby had sent a lot of texts.
Still nothing from my so-called friend Isaac.
Jerk. There were so many texts and calls it surprised me not to find a bear shifter on my doorstep or couch.
Replying to Shelby that she and some of the ogres could visit that day if they wanted, since I was feeling a lot better, I moved to the next on my list; Dakota. He answered quickly when I called.
“Are you okay?” Yikes, he sounded worried. “I called Heatwave, and the club did a welfare check and said you were fine, but it was your first time and you’ve been so ill —“
“Kota. I’m fine. You saw who I left with, didn’t you? I was sure you were still there.”
“Blake Sweetwater.” I couldn’t tell by his tone if that was approval or not.
“Yes. He says I’m his mate.”
“I heard that too. Have you bonded? Your heat was longer, like you had.”
Huh, that explained the longer heat. My pack hadn’t been great at omega education and I could admit to the nasty habit of hiding from things that I should probably know more about.
“A partial bond. My wolf surged briefly, but it didn’t appear when he bit me. I’m not ready, Kota.”
“But his claim stuck?”
“Yeah, I’ve got his mark and his phone number. He wants to date me.”
Dakota made a noise that I couldn’t decipher. I felt uncomfortable talking about the whole thing and wanted to change the subject. It made me miss Blake and his quiet steadiness.
“When can I come back to work?”
“Um, about that.”
Fuck! Was I getting fired? “What about it?” I didn’t hide the sharp edge to my tone.
“I’m moving you to the office for now. Light duties with your dad still out there.” He didn’t even pause to let me speak before turning it back to me. “I meant to ask, did you ask Blake about your dad?”
I felt my face flush. “We didn’t talk much.”
He chuckled, but it was hollow and I felt bad. We’d been doing so great, but it still must have been hard for me to go off with someone even though he had his arrangement with Hiroshi. Then for that person to be my fated? “I can talk to him, though.”
“I think that’s a good idea. He may have met with your dad already. He needs to know the full story so that your dad can be told to leave.”
“If he’s told that, he’ll know I’m here. It’s only a matter of time until we are face-to-face, Kota. I plan on being the only one that walks away.”
“You can’t fight an alpha, Kade.”
“I won’t have to. I just have to get enough to have him put away. You won’t let anything bad happen to me. I know it.”
He digested that for a second in silence. “You can come to work tomorrow if you are up to it. Nine AM for a few hours.”
“See you tomorrow then.” I hung up and grinned. Getting back to work would make me feel more like my usual self. Already I was feeling so much better compared to a couple of weeks ago. I was sleeping less, eating more, and actually had energy.
Now I needed to process that I’d partially bonded with my fated mate. Was that something I wanted? Blake assured me that not being able to have kids wasn’t a problem, but did I want to burden him like that? An omega like me didn’t deserve an alpha like him.
It was evening before I caved and texted Blake, asking if I could call.
Blake: I always have time for you.
Moon, help me. He was so sweet! The phone didn’t ring for long before he answered.
“Hello Kade. I’m glad you called. I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to put pressure on you.”
Oh fuck! He was perfect, and his voice over the phone made me shiver with pleasure. I was half hard from remembering my name on his lips moaned into my ear as he took me repeatedly.
I gathered my wits and adjusted my swelling cock in my sweats. “Thank you for waiting. It’s a lot to adjust to.”
“I understand.”
“There was something I wanted to talk to you about. Something for me to clear up.”
“What is it?” Blake immediately sounded alert and wary.
“Why I hid my scent,” I said simply.
“Oh, I had theories, but I’d like it if you told me.”
“Okay, long story short. I’m in hiding from my father.
He’s got a history of abuse and tried to trap me into a mating, along with other things.
I’d heard he was in the area and I knew he’d be in pack territory if those rumors were true.
My job had me do an alternative route to my usual, so I changed my scent to hide that I am really an omega, since my dad wouldn’t be expecting a beta. ”
“Why wouldn’t he recognise you if you were close enough to scent?”
“Um... well...” Fuck, this was hard to say, especially to a man that thought he was my mate. There was no way that he’d react well to this.
“Kade?”
“Uh, the last time he saw me, my face was quite different.” I hoped that would be enough, but his next question ended that hope.
“Why is that?”
“Uh, he beat me so bad a fae and a witch had to rebuild it with magic.” Better to rip off the band-aid. I wasn’t about to lie to my mate.
There was silence on the end of the line and then a cracking sound. “Blake?” I heard some heavy breathing.
“He better hope I never see him again.”
“Again?”
“I think I met him. Is your name really Ryder Hayes?”
My heart fell into my stomach at the sound of my old name on Blake’s lips.
It sounded... wrong. Like it was never supposed to be there.
If I believed in The Luna’s plan for all shifters, then I had to accept that this was all preordained.
There was a reason that I’d gone through so much pain, had lost Papa, even temporarily.
Yet, there was a part of me that wanted to rage, “why me?” Why did my family have to be hurt so badly?
“Kade?”
“Yes. Ryder is dead now, though. Please...please...don’t...”
“I’ll never use that name for you again. I’m sorry, Kade. Your father was here, but seems to have given my enforcers the slip.”
Moon help me. Ice slid down my back as fear took hold, and my phone slipped in my sweaty palm. It was all well and good putting on bravado on the phone to Dakota, but this was Blake, my mate and pack leader. I almost felt compelled to pour out all my fear and doubt to him. “Kade? Are you okay?”
“I’m safe. I’ll be fine.” My words were hollow, and I wasn’t sure who I was trying to soothe, me or Blake. I don’t know what he heard in my voice.
“Can I come over?”
I didn’t even think. “Please.”
“Text me your address and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He ended the call, saying nothing else. Then I sent him my address quickly before I could second guess myself. He could have got it from his records, but it warmed me he’d asked for it instead.
My mind spun. I thought about calling Blake and telling him to go home again, but knowing that my dad was so close terrified me. I knew I had friends to support me and that if I wanted to stay, a clash was inevitable, but I wasn’t ready.
I had support, though. Dakota’s pack had welcomed me. The thought of leading that sort of trouble to them left me cold. I knew it wouldn’t be as easy as just getting Dad arrested by a council enforcer. There was pain in my future.
My contact would want me to call and arrange support.
They’d want me to flee the life that I’d built for myself here.
There was no way I was doing that. If I ran away, I’d be running forever.
It already felt like I had been. I was sick of it.
I had a mate to consider now, even if I wasn’t quite ready to fully bond.
Before I could spiral further, there was a knock at the door. “Kade, it’s me, Blake.” I already loved the sound of his voice. My wolf wriggled, and I wanted to cry at the relief that it was still there and Blake was with me.
Opening the door, I moved aside to let Blake in when a burly enforcer tried to muscle in front of him and was pushed back by the wards. He growled at me. I bared my teeth at him in warning. “Warded. You have to be invited in. Blake should pass because he is welcome here.”
The man glanced between his alpha and me.
“It’s okay, Deke.” Blake’s gentle voice made the man step back.
“The house needs to be checked before you spend any time here. Especially if you plan to sleep here.” Deke’s voice was deep and rough, in contrast to his alpha’s smoother timbre. They looked alike. I wondered if there was a family connection.
It was then that I noticed the overnight bag in Blake’s fist, and I raised an eyebrow at him. “Presumptuous much?”
He flushed a beautiful shade of scarlet. “Hopeful. Let’s go with that. Be prepared.”
“I hardly think you were a boy scout.” Blake barked out a laugh, and I grinned at him, already feeling so much more at ease.
Once his laughter settled, he introduced us. “Kade, this is my cousin, Deke.” Ha, bingo . “He’s also part of my security team, and I trust him with my life. Would you mind him checking out your house? He’ll sleep in the truck if you allow me to stay. I can take the couch.”