Chapter 47 #4
She would blame herself. And more than guilt... she would be furious that he had hidden it from her.
He already had a fair idea Dev must have told her about the attacks on him, but he never imagined his friend would reveal details that could emotionally hurt Akansha. Only if he knew.
"When did you see them?", he asked instead.
Akansha immediately gave him a look, clearly understanding he was trying to divert the topic.
"When you were playing chor police yesterday morning with your daughter in just a towel.
Seriously? Who plays an outdoor game inside a bedroom?
That too when both of you were already getting late for school and office respectively.
You both would've gotten late yesterday too if I hadn't yelled at you two", she scolded while glaring at him.
A faint smile almost appeared on his lips despite the tension.
"Yep... that's why we got the gate shut on us today? To teach us a lesson?", he stated knowingly.
"Don't divert the topic. Spill the beans now", she demanded sternly.
She had already given him an earful in the morning by calling him during her free lecture about the fine he paid and the embarrassment he caused her and himself.
Shaurya exhaled slowly before finally speaking.
"As Dev might've told you... my father planned an attack on us. I was taking Aakriti to the hospital, and his hired goons mistook Aakriti for you and attacked us. While saving her, I got injured. Nothing major—"
"Yeah. You got bedridden for a few months, that's all. Nothing major. Thank God", Akansha cut him off coldly.
Shaurya's heartbeat faltered for a second.
No.
Dev wouldn't have told her the entire truth. Then how did she know? Fear and anxiety slowly crawled inside him.
"I want to hear the whole truth. Don't hide anything from me thinking I would feel guilty because I was the reason behind—"
Before she could complete her sentence, Shaurya immediately cut her off.
"It wasn't you... it was me. Everything happened because of me", he said quietly, tightening his hold around her palm. "Despite knowing my father's cruelty, I confronted him when he insulted you in front of Meera. I openly threatened to leave him and his party if he ever disrespected you again."
A bitter smile appeared on his lips.
"That was my mistake. I shouldn't have taken that step... but I couldn't tolerate your disrespect. I know I sound like a hypocrite saying that when I myself failed to respect your feelings. You're not wrong for thinking that way, Akansha."
His voice lowered further.
"I'm sorry."
Akansha stayed silent for a few seconds, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through her chest because of his hold on her hand.
"What happened that day? Tell me clearly", she said finally.
And Shaurya did. He told her everything. From the ugly confrontation with his father... to the attack... to being admitted in the hospital... to the reason he shifted her to Dev's house.
Every single thing.
"I'm sorry... but I didn't have any other way to keep you safe", he admitted, his exhausted voice carrying years of guilt. "I know I was hurting you and trust me, I was dying every second because of it. But I had a choice to make. I chose your physical safety."
His fingers slowly cupped her face before he continued softly,
"But in all that... I ended up giving you wounds that probably can never heal. I'm so, so sorry, Jaan."
The endearment slipped out naturally before he could stop himself. Akansha immediately jerked his hands away from her face and glared at him.
"Are you not sorry for hiding this from me, Shaurya?", she asked, her eyes burning with fury.
"I was... Akansha, I—"
"No", she cut him off sharply. "You were not sorry. You were busy convincing yourself that you were making some huge sacrifice by hiding everything from me."
Tears welled up in her eyes again.
"You thought you were saving me from the misery of taking care of you in a hospital. You thought you didn't deserve my kindness. But what about me, Shaurya?"
Her voice cracked despite her anger.
"Did you ever think how I would've felt after learning all this? My husband was lying injured in some hospital ward in another state for months like an orphan at the mercy of doctors and nurses despite having a wife."
Shaurya lowered his gaze silently.
"No matter what problems existed between us... we were still husband and wife. I should've been there with you. It was my duty... and my right."
A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at him with trembling fury.
"And you mercilessly snatched that away from me. I hate you..."
She wiped her tears aggressively, refusing to break down in front of him.
"Please don't cry... I'm sorry... I never wanted to hurt you like this", Shaurya said helplessly, trying to hold her again, but she kept pushing his hands away.
"Do you even know how I felt after learning about your condition?", she burst out. "No doubt you're an a**... but you're still my husband too."
Her voice trembled painfully now.
"I know how it feels to lie on a hospital bed with no one beside you. Even thinking that you went through that hell for months despite me being in your life is killing me."
Shaurya's expression changed instantly.
"What do you mean?", he asked with immediate concern.
His mind started racing. What did she mean by she knew that pain? Had something happened to her? Was she talking about Siya's birth... or something else entirely?
It's been months since he had asked his PIs to gather information about her life during those years, then why was there still no proper information? Questions clouded his mind one after another.
"None of your business", she snapped immediately. "You married me for revenge, but at the very least I expected you to treat me like your wife. But no... not even once did I get to feel like one."
Her voice broke again.
"You're an a**h*le, Shaurya. I regret loving you... I really do."
The words shattered something inside both of them. Shaurya gently wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks despite her continuously jerking his hands away.
"You were right", he admitted quietly. "I was selfish.
I only thought about my feelings." He paused briefly before continuing.
"I was relieved that I managed to save you.
I kept you away from everything because after all the pain I had already caused you, I didn't think I deserved your care.
And I knew you... I knew you wouldn't leave my side until I recovered completely. "
A faint, broken smile appeared on his lips.
"That's exactly why I didn't let you know."
Akansha's eyes filled again.
"But I failed to think from your perspective. I only thought about what felt right to me and convinced myself it was best for you too. For that... I'm truly sorry."
His gaze softened as he looked at her.
"And please don't torture yourself thinking I suffered there alone. Yes, there was physical pain... but mentally, I was at peace knowing you were safe."
His voice turned heavier.
"If you had stayed with me, every second I would've feared someone hurting you again... and I wasn't even capable enough to protect you in that condition."
A haunted look crossed his face briefly.
"My biggest fear has always been seeing you hurt and being unable to do anything about it. I've already lived through that fear once... and it's horrible."
He slowly shook his head.
"Compared to that, lying on a hospital bed while knowing you were safe... felt preferable every single time. So please don't blame yourself. Whatever happened that day happened because of me."
"We both know the attack became possible only because I rebelled and went to meet Akash", Akansha said quietly. "Yes, I rebelled because of you... but I still did it. That gave your father the opportunity."
Shaurya immediately shook his head and opened his mouth to argue, but she stopped him again.
"You still should've told me, Shaurya", she whispered while wiping her tears.
"I just didn't want to drag you into my mess again. I already did that once by marrying you", he admitted bitterly. "Trust me... if I had known about my parents' cruelty before our marriage, I would've never married you and brought you into that hell."
Akansha frowned immediately at the statement.
"What do you mean by that, Shaurya?", she asked seriously.
Shaurya looked away for a brief second.
"We'll talk about it after we return from Prayagraj", he said softly before standing up. "Come on... let's sleep. It's late."
Akansha nodded reluctantly, trying to remain civil with him. A part of her wanted to yell at him more. Slap him even. But doing that would feel too personal... too intimate... as if she still had some right over him, and she didn't want him to feel that way.
No matter what emotions still existed between them, she had already decided one thing clearly.
They could never go back to what they once were. It was impossible. Now, they were simply Siya's parents.
The thought hurt more than she wanted to admit, but the wounds inside her still ran too deep to reconsider anything beyond that.
What she didn't realize was that somewhere along the way, Shaurya had already started healing parts of her she thought were long dead.
His attention.
His care.
His love.
And the way he quietly bowed before her without letting his ego come in between. It was slowly bringing her back to life from within.
Shaurya helped her gather all her things before getting up and forwarding his hand towards her.
Akansha took it unwillingly. Her legs had gone numb from sitting in the same position for so long, and she couldn't get up properly without support.
He carried her things to their room and neatly arranged them on the couch table.
"Should I put them inside your bag?", he asked, pointing towards her work bag.
"No need. I can do it myself. Do you think I'm handicapped?", she snapped instantly.
Shaurya's expression changed immediately.
"No... you're perfectly fine. Touchwood", he said quickly before adding softly, "Don't say things like that even for fun. You're angry at me, so say such things for me instead... not for yourself."
Akansha didn't even hesitate.
"Fair enough. If you irritate me again, I'll personally break your limbs, Shaurya Shekhawat. Now sleep."
Though her voice remained low, the underlying seriousness in it made Shaurya immediately settle beside Siya quietly.
The next second, he shamelessly pulled Akansha's dupatta towards himself — the same dupatta Siya was clutching while sleeping.
Siya immediately whined in her sleep at the sudden loss of her mother's scent. Akansha glared at him instantly before pulling Siya back towards herself.
The little girl immediately snuggled into her mother, inhaled her familiar scent, and fell back asleep peacefully. Shaurya could sacrifice absolutely anything for his daughter. But when it came to her mother and her clothes, he always gave fierce competition.
Shaurya smiled faintly at Akansha and softly wished her good night. In return, he received nothing but another glare.
Still... he understood her anger was justified. He had to try harder. Much harder.
And that could only happen once she knew the complete truth — the truth she had every right to know.
Earlier, he had hidden things from her for the sake of her safety. But if he delayed telling her everything even now, then it would simply become unfair to her.
He didn't expect forgiveness after revealing the truth. He knew her pain was justified. No matter what reasons he had, he was still at fault. He couldn't even expect her to soften towards him after learning about the past. But she still deserved to know everything. It's her right.
And for the first time in years, Shaurya no longer wanted to decide her rights on her behalf.