Chapter 15
Gavriil
A lingering burn sears its way down my throat as I knock back the last remaining sip of my glass of vodka.
A faint haze blurs the edges of my thoughts after three glasses on an empty stomach, but nothing short of unconsciousness would quiet what’s slingshotting through my skull.
It’s been days since I held her limp body through the night, praying she would survive.
Since I let her sleep in my bed with me all night, breaking my one rule.
Since I allowed Dominik and Alina to finally see each other so she would stop hurting herself.
And thinking about their embrace.
Dominik was supposed to think that we had fucked when he saw her in my shirt and lost his temper instead of begging for forgiveness.
Alina was supposed to hate him, to lash out, to turn away from him after what he took from her.
But instead, she clung to him like she can’t bear to be without him. Like her brother’s death and her separation from Dominik hasn’t changed their relationship. The way she was so quick to forgive him claws at my gut.
I thought she would’ve bent to my will by now, but she’s still stubborn, still tethered to my brother in ways I can’t sever.
And he’s still in love with her.
That’s the other part I can’t control.
If he continues to choose her over me, then the goddamn burden I’ve spent years carrying for him was all for nothing!
“Fuck,” I mutter as I set down my glass with a loud clatter on my desk.
Sitting here isn’t going to fix all the fucking problems that I have to deal with, and I’m up to my neck in them. We’re launching an attack on the Irish patrol to send a clear message that the Irish will all die before they get their hands on our territory.
It’s bad enough that I can’t even get things under control under my own goddamn roof.
With a sharp exhale, I stand up from my desk to leave my office, automatically gravitating to my bedroom with a slight stagger. I’ve been steering clear of Alina for the most part. I take her meals to her, then watch her eat and drink on the surveillance camera.
I returned her mattress and blanket, but not her own clothes. I prefer to see her wearing my shirts. I enjoyed rubbing that fact in my brother’s face, reminding him that I’ve seen his sweet dikaya koshka naked, had her in my bed, held her in my arms.
And now I’m finding it exceedingly hard not to carry her back to my bed with me every second of the damn day.
The only reason I haven’t tried is because she’s strong enough now to refuse me.
And while that defiance once would’ve turned me on like nothing else, I’m not sure if I could handle it now.
Something has changed, and it’s making me unsteady.
I nod to Valentin standing guard outside the bedroom before I enter it, my shadow falling upon Alina from the light cast from the bedside lamps.
My eyes settle on her as she sits on the mattress and works her fingers through her hair to braid it.
She’s nearly made a full recovery after almost an entire week of eating and hydrating like a normal human being. Now, she must be bored out of her mind.
Or deep in thought.
I continue watching her, tension winding around my chest when her eyes meet mine. She doesn’t shrink back or tense up, though. She just stares back at me with no fear, like I’m a regular person.
Like I’m nothing.
Returning to the hallway, I tell Valentin in Russian, “Go downstairs. I want you to assist the guards in the prison with Dominik’s punishment.”
I blame my brother for Timur’s death. He’s also the reason Alina nearly disappeared right in front of my eyes.
Valentin frowns. “Sir?”
“You heard me. I want to make him less comfortable. He’s to be chained standing up throughout the day. Release him at midnight. That’s when he can eat, drink, and sleep. Then, repeat in the morning at sunrise. He obviously needs to be reminded who he answers to.”
“I thought we were just isolating him from his men,” Valentin replies as he scratches the back of his neck. “Isn’t that what you said a few days ago?”
“I changed my mind. And once I do, I don’t change it back,” I say, the words coming out slow and firm. “Go,” I tell him.
Valentin hurries off and I return to Alina. She abruptly stops braiding her hair when she sees the expression on my face.
I remain still for a few seconds, slowly breathing in and out of my nose to steady myself. I need to stop reacting to her and get back to having things under my control from the start.
“How could you forgive him?” I blurt out.
“I haven’t. Yet,” she replies. “Dom was only following your orders. And I will never fucking forgive you.”
She hates me. She blames me for her idiot brother’s mistakes.
Why do I even give a shit? I was ready to fall to my knees to beg God to save her when she wouldn’t have done the same for me.
She’s supposed to be my captive. Mine. But she still belongs to him.
“Take off my shirt,” I snap at her before I can stop myself.
“What?”
The words came out in a rush, and in Russian because I’m too drunk to think clearly.
I walk over to the cage and gesture to her. “You’re wearing my shirt. I want it back. Take it off.”
Alina blinks at me. “Give me my own clothes and I’ll return it.”
I let out a faint scoff as an unamused grin tugs at my lips. “You don’t get to make demands of me.”
Alina rises to her feet, now moving with a little more ease and strength. She strides over to the front of the cage, her arms crossing in front of her chest. “Why do you want this particular shirt back? You’ve got plenty more.”
I love and hate it when she defies me because it reminds me how little control I actually have.
My teeth grind together in annoyance. I prefer her rebelling instead of giving me the silent treatment, but I can’t get her and Dominik out of my head. All I see is them clinging to one another after she nearly died in my arms.
“I’m not going to ask again,” I warn her, my hand already sliding into my pants pocket to grab the cage key.
Alina takes a step back, but I’m already in the cage right in front of her before she can take another one. My hands don’t shake unlocking the door tonight. Thankfully, no one was around to see my pathetic panic before.
She draws in a sharp breath as I tower over her, our eyes locking. “What are you going to do? Rip it off me?” she asks.
I swallow as the thought crosses my mind. Her cowering from me doesn’t feature in my fantasy, though. I prefer the ones where she rips my clothes off me. “No, you’re going to take it off yourself and place it in my hand.”
Alina’s green eyes narrow as I hold my hand out. “Or what?”
Two words and I almost snap. Being so close to her makes me feel like I’ve had two more glasses of vodka. She makes my mind so fucking wild and hazy.
“Or Dominik is going to pay the price for your disobedience,” I tell her, my voice dropping lower as I lean closer to her.
Instead of fear filling her eyes, there’s a spark of defiance that infuriates me and intrigues me at the same time. This is the Alina that I know. Not the silent corpse she nearly turned herself into.
She opens her mouth, no doubt to remind me of our deal.
“Take. It. Off. Now,” I grit out.
Alina grabs the hem of my shirt and lifts it over her head, peeling the fabric free of her body.
leaving her completely nude. Her nipples harden as the air hits her bare skin, making heat burn within me.
No wonder she turned my brother into a lovestruck idiot.
He’s never once had her, but he would do anything for the chance.
I’m determined that I will have her first, if only to tear her out of my brother’s chokehold. Dominik will never want to touch her again once she eagerly gives herself to me.
“Here,” Alina replies as she shoves the shirt into my hand.
Before she can jerk away, I grab her wrist with my other hand, anchoring her close as the air between us thickens. I shouldn’t be so close to her, but she needs to know that I’m still in control.
And maybe I need to remind myself of that too.
I pull her closer, and something fractures inside me when her lips part with a soft gasp. “I could’ve let you rot away on the floor of this cage,” I remind her and hate myself for how close that came to being true.
Alina stares up into my eyes, one of her hands braced on my chest. “You should have.”
So ungrateful.
“Maybe so,” I say, keeping my grip tight on her wrist. A warning.
Her tongue pokes out for a second to drift across her bottom lip, distracting me for just a second. There’s been no bigger distraction than her lately.
Her stubbornness. Her eyes. Her body. Her fucking death wish.
“Keep our agreement, Gavriil. Don’t hurt Dominik,” she tells me, slowly and clearly like she knows she holds me captive. The way she even uses my name is a manipulation of her own making.
She isn’t pleading or asking like she should be. Like anyone else would be.
Alina’s tone is demanding. I want to lock her up in this cage and throw away the key. I want to kiss her for daring to stand her ground.
“I’ll do whatever I fucking want to him. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” I ask her, releasing her wrist only to capture her jaw, tilting her face up to mine.
Alina’s breath hitches as I hold her chin.
Not hard enough to bruise but firm enough to make my point.
“Oh, I have you all figured out, Gavriil,” she replies.
“Desperation isn’t a good look on you. It’s pretty pathetic, actually,” she says and then brushes her beautiful bare breasts against my chest intentionally.
She’s dangling herself in front of me like offering a steak to a starving lion. Does she really think I’m that weak for her?
I drape my shirt over my shoulder with my other hand, unsure if I feel more frustrated or enticed thanks to the alcohol. My hand gravitates to her upper arm, slowly sliding down as my thumb brushes the side of her breast she thought to tempt me with. Once. Twice.
Alina gasps each time. Goosebumps rise on her skin. Like usual, her body automatically leans closer to me instead of shying away. On the third stroke, her eyes flutter shut a second before flying open to meet mine. “Get your disgusting hands off me.”
Her command is weak and half-hearted. If she really wanted me to let go and leave her alone, she’d push me away.
I lean closer to her face. “You don’t deserve my hands on you.”
Alina’s jaw drops, but she doesn’t get a word out before I release her and shut the cage door behind me. She draws in a sharp inhale and wraps her arms around herself, shielding me from a view that’ll be on my mind all night long.
I have to force myself to leave the room before I throw open that cage door and lose control again. I’m already fucking up in ways that I normally wouldn’t. Wanting to hold her, to have her sleep in my bed with me. Letting her insult me and yell at me without any consequences.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore, and that’s all because of her.
I haven’t felt this out of control and uneasy since Dominik and I were kids and our father decided to become our biggest threat. It took me forever to find my footing and gain control back then.
I can’t afford that struggle now. Not with a war on the horizon.
Especially not for the woman who still belongs to my brother.