Chapter Twenty-Two
Shane greeted the laird and his men as they dismounted. “Welcome to Cluny Castle.”
“Are you the new laird of the MacPhersons?” the man asked. His voice echoed against the stone walls surrounding the bailey.
“Aye,” Shane answered.
“I’m here to see you wed to my daughter, reclaim the dowry I paid, or take over your holding. The choice is up to you.”
Christ. None of those options seemed good. They were already within the curtain walls. There’d be no way to stop them if they decided to attack. A glance over his shoulder at the men who stood willing to die for him gave him the needed push to find a way that wouldn’t lead to war. What was his happiness compared to the lives of his men? And what could he offer Lindsay if he was struck down today and the clan taken over by the Wallace laird?
“There was a misunderstanding, for I am already wed. I’ll gladly return your daughter’s dowry. However, my stepmother has run off with it, and we’ve had difficulty locating her. As for taking over our holding, I may not be able to stop you, but I’d ask you to hear me out and give me another option.”
“I’ll hear you.”
“Please come into the hall, where we might offer you a meal and drink.”
The laird and his men followed them inside, and Tory came forward quickly to see to their guests.
When they sat at the table, the Wallace laird looked at him expectantly. “What is it you are proposing to satisfy the contract between our clans?”
“I wish for more time to recover what was stolen so I can return the dowry to you.”
“And if ye can’t recover it or not enough to cover it in full?”
“Then I offer a portion of our grain next year.”
The man laughed. “Next year? I’ve already seen your fields haven’t been planted for a harvest, but with no funds, how will you plant them for next year?” He shook his head. “Nay. I’ll not accept this offer. I will be paid now, or I will take Cluny as recompense.”
Shane’s men stirred from their seats at the nearby tables. He knew a word from him would launch them to arms, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose a single man simply because he was unwilling to do his duty. To give up Lindsay.
He shook his head. “Nay.” There was only one choice left, though it was one Shane could barely speak aloud.
He closed his eyes and thought of the cottage he shared with Lindsay. And beyond that the river where they bathed and made love. It didn’t seem right that he would have to lose another woman he had come to wed. He’d failed to protect Maria, and now he would fail to protect Lindsay. What kind of a man was he that he couldn’t save them?
He would have many memories of Lindsay to savor for the rest of his days. Lazy moments in bed with her. Her smile. The way the sun reflected off her dark hair. And those dark eyes a man could lose his soul in and not care about getting it back.
Clearing his throat, he managed the words he didn’t think his heart would allow him to say. “If you’ll give me some additional time, I’ll have my current marriage annulled so I may marry your daughter and honor the alliance you made with my father.”
Shane watched the other laird, ready for him to draw his sword and launch them into battle right there over their meal, as he had every right to do. The man’s longer hair was white with age, and his dark eyes looked upon Shane with disgust.
He imagined he deserved such a reaction. Going against an oath was a disreputable thing to do. The fact it had been his father who had given his word made no matter. Shane was duty-bound to uphold whatever agreements had been made.
Shane knew this all along. He’d realized it could come to this. He’d tried all manner of ways to get out of it, but while he didn’t want to think of having to leave Lindsay, he’d known this was a possibility.
And now it had come to pass.
Shane would have to give up the only thing he wanted so he wouldn’t lose everything. He just needed to get Wallace to agree, even if deep in his heart Shane almost wanted the man to refuse the offer. The choice of dying there was almost preferred to having to betray Lindsay.
If not for his men and his responsibility to his clan, he might have welcomed the sharp kiss of the man’s blade. But this was what was needed to protect his people. He didn’t know how he might tell Lindsay. Perhaps when she found out he’d lied to her, she might be glad for an annulment. He’d deal with that only after the man agreed. For a tense moment, Shane wasn’t so sure things could end peacefully.
The sound of his heartbeat seemed to fill the space around them as he waited for the man’s reply.
“You’ll dissolve your marriage and marry my daughter as promised?” he repeated with his head tilted as if he were testing the words for a trick.
Silently, Shane cursed his father for leaving his clan with such a poor reputation. “Aye. That is my offer—one that will honor the contract.”
“I will give you no more than a week to see it done,” the man said.
“Two weeks, for we’ll have to have the annulment granted by the church and will need time,” Shane countered, wanting every second he could manage.
“Nay. A week and not another day more. I’ve waited long enough for this to be done.”
“Very well,” Shane said as his stomach twisted in pain. He had no choice. His men would be needed if they ended up in a battle with the MacColls. They couldn’t lose a single man if they had any hopes of winning another conflict. But nothing was well. Nothing would ever be well again.
He was going to have to give up his wife. Give up the woman who managed to warm his frozen heart, who had saved him when he hadn’t known how to go on.
How would he tell her?
How could he hurt her in this way?
…
Lindsay wasn’t sure how she was still standing. It seemed this day was not through with her yet. After finding the dog, she took him to the stable and entered the castle through the kitchens. The women had been too busy getting ready for the late meal to notice her as she continued toward the hall.
She’d stopped when she recognized the voice in the corridor.
Her father was here.
She’d been ready to step out and call an end to his threats against the MacPhersons, but then she’d been stunned into silence when she’d heard Shane’s promise to end his current marriage and marry per the agreement.
Neither Shane nor her father had seen her in the shadows as they clasped each other’s forearms and slapped backs as if they were old friends. While the warriors from both sides cheered and toasted Shane on his marriage, Lindsay slipped away toward the steps.
It seemed everything was in order now; however, she was in so much pain, she didn’t think she could make it upstairs. As her thoughts twisted to the point of making her dizzy, she only wanted to go back home.
No. Not home. Not anymore. It was nothing but the small cottage on the edge of the trees where she’d once been happy. Where she’d tried to start a life with a man who had wanted her without knowing who she was.
And, apparently, she hadn’t known who he truly was, either.
They’d both lied. She couldn’t spite him for hiding who he was when she’d done the same thing.
But her heart hurt.
He’d known all along everything between them had been temporary. That he would eventually need to give her up to do his duty. He’d allowed her to care for him, when all along he’d known he would leave her to marry another. She realized the irony, that the woman he was contracted to marry was her. They’d married each other to avoid marriage to…each other.
She’d thought he might come to love her someday. She’d seen something true in the way he’d looked at her, and she’d felt it in his touch. But he’d just offered to dissolve their marriage as if it was an easy thing to do.
The dog wiggled in her grip, but she held on to her as she searched for the room that would be hers. She found a maid, who directed her to the lady’s chamber. Inside, she set Tre down so she could look around.
In the cottage, they’d shared a bed, but here they wouldn’t. She wouldn’t lie next to a man who so easily planned to cast her aside. Breathing in the scents of lamp oil and cloying perfume, she recalled the smells of her home. Baking bread and woodsmoke. She remembered every touch and laugh.
Every lie.
When she wiped her tears away, the little dog whined and Lindsay picked her up.
“He’d planned to leave us all along. This is our life now,” she told Tre. “This is my duty.”
…
The great hall was full to overflowing with the Wallaces. Tory raised her brows at Shane from across the room. She wanted answers as to what had happened, but Shane couldn’t move to tell her.
He was too numb with shock.
When faced with no other options, he’d made the best decision he could to save his people.
The mood of celebration in the hall conflicted with the misery in his soul.
Shane managed to slip out into the bailey and breathe in the cool evening air. Without consciously thinking about it, he called up to the guard on the gate to open it for him so he could go home. He’d put off telling Lindsay the truth long enough. He’d run out of time.
Taking the familiar path to the cottage where he’d learned to live again, he tried to swallow back the tears that threatened. He didn’t know what words he’d use to end his marriage, but she deserved the truth. She always had.
He briefly considered how he might keep her in his life while also doing his duty, but he could not disrespect her in that way. He wouldn’t suggest she become his mistress, not when she deserved so much more. She should have a full life with a husband who could love her in the way Shane should’ve been able to.
He worried what man might offer marriage to a woman who’d been cast aside by the laird. And if she returned to the Camerons, would it ruin any chance they had for peace between their clans? He would find a way to help if he could. He had no money, but he’d see she was cared for properly.
His steps slowed and eventually stopped. He dropped to his knees there in the soft, dark earth of the forest and screamed his frustration and pain out to the trees. He’d once thought his heart had been broken and lost in France, but somehow it had survived that loss only to be faced with another.
His anguish echoed back to him, and with it, he heard something else.
Determination.
He shook his head. He could not do this. He would not do this.
He loved Lindsay, and he needed her. There had to be another way to keep his marriage without putting his clan at risk. As he knelt there in the darkness, an idea formed. It would not be an easy thing. But weren’t the best things in life worth the sacrifice?
He had a duty to his clan, but he had a duty to Lindsay as well. He’d protect her at all costs, like he should have protected Maria. With a new purpose, he stood and headed back to the castle to present the Wallace laird with another option.
In the bailey, Shane ran into Fitz, who was covering as war chief with Alec away.
“Are ye heading back to the celebration?” he asked.
Shane paused and shook his head. He wished Alec was there—not only because he was worried for his brother but because Shane’s decision impacted Alec. He had a right to know what Shane planned.
“I’ve decided what I shall do about the situation.”
Fitz’s thick brows came down in a heavy crease. “I thought it had already been decided before ye left.”
“I can’t leave Lindsay ruined.”
“Then we go to war with the Wallaces. It would’ve been better to do so before we invited them behind our walls into the keep.”
“Nay. I don’t wish to put my men and clan at risk because I’m unable to do my duty. I will abdicate my title to Alec, and I will offer to return to Riccarton to work off my debt to the Wallaces with Lindsay by my side.”
Shane watched as Fitz winced and rubbed his chin. “I don’t think Alec is going to like this plan. Besides, being laird is your birthright. You are the laird, not a servant.”
“I am a husband.”
“You would choose a woman over your clan? Ye are more like your father than I realized.”
Shane let out a breath and shook his head. “It’s not like that. I chose my men and duty over my wife once before, and it ended in bloodshed, guilt, and pain. I’ll not do it again. I must choose Lindsay. Don’t you see? This is nothing like what my father did. You would have me ruin the woman I married to offer my protection by casting her aside for an alliance I had no part in? Is that what the MacPherson name means to you? Have we no honor at all?”
Fitz huffed out a breath and walked in a small circle before coming back to stand before him.
“You know I’ll always stand by you, even if your plan is daft and will lead to catastrophe.”
Shane patted the man and turned toward the door to the hall, where Tory was hurrying out.
“There you are. You must come inside at once. Ye are not going to believe what has happened.”
Rather than tell him, she simply spun and went back inside, leaving Shane and Fitz to follow after her.
The previous air of celebration had been replaced with anger and accusation. The Wallace laird was blustering to the room at large, and his men had taken on their laird’s unrest. A few of them shoved into the MacPherson guard.
Upon entering, they caught the attention of Donald Wallace, who called out his name.
“What has happened?” Shane whispered to his sister. Shane had hoped the man would be in his earlier good mood to hear Shane’s proposal.
It was the last chance he had to save his marriage to Lindsay. He’d offer to work off the debt himself as a servant at Riccarton. He didn’t think Lindsay would mind, having thought him a poor soldier all along anyway. She’d asked to leave the MacPherson lands, and he’d now honor her earlier request.
After he told her the truth of who he was.
“After you left, the Wallace laird asked for his daughter to be brought to him.”
Shane blinked in confusion. “I thought he was bringing his daughter with him.”
Tory shook her head. “He says she arrived months ago to help a sick family member and remained at Cluny. He accused you of having her locked in the dungeon until she suddenly arrived. And you’re not going to believe—”
She was interrupted from further explanation as the man came closer.
“I didn’t know,” he told his sister and then lifted his head to face Wallace.
“What is the meaning of this? I know ye have no funds to honor a wife, but to force my daughter into the clothing of a maid?”
“I’m sorry?” Shane meant it as a question, for he wasn’t sure what the man was talking about. A maid?
The man shook his head. “I sent a letter to her uncle, and she responded that she had arrived. She’d met some unpleasantness with her maid running off with her things and my blighter of a brother-in-law causing trouble, but you couldn’t have provided better for the mistress of the keep? And what is this business of telling me you married another instead of Lindsay? Are ye daft?”
Shane thought perhaps the answer was yes.
“Lindsay?” Shane said, looking between the man and his wide-eyed sister.
Fitz was still standing at Shane’s back and whispered, “Bloody hell.”
It seemed to take a long time for things to click into place. This man’s daughter was named Lindsay. She’d come to help a sick family member. Her uncle had upset her. Shane swallowed and faced the man. But before he could ask what was going on, he heard a familiar voice.
“Father, please calm yourself. I am well. And dressed properly now that I have my trunks.”
Shane stepped to the side so he could see the woman standing behind the irate Wallace laird. It sure looked like Lindsay. She had the same dark hair and eyes. She even had the same scar, but she was dressed in a fancy gown, with jewels looped around her neck and hanging from her ears.
She looked every bit like Deirdre, but she was his wife.
He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Shane was married to the very woman he’d been promised to all along. He’d not told her who he was, but she’d not told him, either.
“As it turns out, I’m already married to your daughter.”