His Secret Obsession (Cedarwood Valley #1)

1. Chapter One

Maddison

“ I f this is a joke, I don’t find it very funny.” My shaking fingers smooth out the crumpled letter onto the kitchen table where my boyfriend and I stand on opposite ends. The silence in our shared apartment is heavy and awkward as he watches me, his face blanching. The word eviction jumps out at me, and it makes my heart gallop. My fingers pull on the necklace nestled between my breasts as I gaze with pleading eyes at Luke.

“Why were you going through my things?” he asks.

Because I do your laundry every week, duh.

A snort escapes me. “Why did you leave it in your pocket?”

“I was going to tell you.” He stares at the paper with a guilt-stricken expression, and panic flutters in my belly.

Peering down at the letter, my lips flatten into a hard line when I see the date. It was sent about two weeks ago, and my skin goes clammy when I look at the calendar pinned to the refrigerator. That leaves us roughly two more weeks to find another apartment.

Hurt cuts through me like a cold knife.

“I called your work, and they said you were fired a month ago.”

“Fuck, Madds.” His eyes squeeze shut. “You weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

“Are you cheating on me?” The thought has bile rising in my throat.

“No!” His green eyes fly open, giving me an appalled look.

“Then where have you been going every day for the past month?” My fingers continue twisting the necklace.

“I would never do that to you.”

There was a time when I would have believed him. Now, I’m not so sure.

“Where have you been going every damn day?” I repeat, my voice harsh.

“Madds…”

He steps forward with a desperate, panicked look about him. His eyes are wide, his chest expanding as he gulps down a steadying breath. I shake my head, watching as he runs a hand through his shoulder-length, dark blonde hair. It’s pulled back into a loose bun today, and his fingers catch on the hair tie. Loose strands tumble out to frame his sharp, smooth jaw.

My heart used to flutter every time I looked at his slender, athletic frame. The way his black, skinny jeans hug his slim hips. The rips in the fabric that show off just a hint of smooth skin along his strong thighs. The red and black plaid jacket with the sleeves pulled up to his elbows and the black shirt that clings to the light dusting of abs beneath it.

My body doesn’t react much at all to him anymore.

“I fucked up—I know that, okay?” His hands wrap around my waist, gently pulling me forward until I’m flush against his chest. Despite my anger and disappointment, his body heat feels good and I soften against him. I rest my forearms on his shoulders and stare up at him. “I’ve been job hunting every day. I was going to tell you as soon as I found something else.” He sighs. “I just didn’t think it would take this long.”

“But why?” I ask softly.

His eyes slide down to the floor. “I didn’t want you to think that I was a loser,” he mumbles.

A rush of sympathy washes over me, my resolve to be firm with him crumbling. “Luke Parker, you are not a loser.” I pinch his chin between my index finger and thumb, making him meet my resolute stare. “These things happen to everyone, baby.”

He shakes his head. “They don’t happen to you.”

I frown.

“I’m a dropout,” he continues, “and now I can’t even hold down a job. You deserve someone better.” He scoffs.

It’s true that Luke has been struggling.

Despite never being the most studious person, I still struggled to understand his decision when he dropped out of college. I watched in silent concern as he gave up a degree in graphic design and began waiting tables at a local sports bar instead. I believed him when he said he was burnt out and just needed some time off. It was only supposed to be one semester, but that was six months ago.

A few late-night parties here and there quickly turned into a never-ending string of parties, booze, and hangovers. Then he started missing work. And not long after that, the sketchbook that accompanied him everywhere was forgotten. By the time my graduation rolled around, I was celebrating alone—just as I did when I got accepted into a once-in-a-lifetime internship with an interior design company right here in Crestwood Heights, Virginia.

I’m beginning to feel like I’m in a relationship with myself.

Not with the boy who used to be my best friend.

“But I’m with you,” I remind him softly, gently rubbing a palm over his chest. “Everything will get better. Maybe this is your sign to go back to school.”

“I have to figure out how I’m going to pay for another apartment before I can think about that.”

My shoulders slump. “Maybe I should get a job, too,” I offer. My internship is unpaid, although it has the potential to turn into a permanent, salaried position if all goes well. But when I first took it, we didn’t anticipate this. It’s only supposed to last six months, but my savings won’t cover moving expenses and it’s not fair to expect him to foot all the bills when he’s clearly struggling.

He winces. “I didn’t want to ask you to quit, but I think I might have a solution.” Why does he sound hesitant?

“What is it?”

“My brother has a spare bedroom.”

I suck in a sharp breath, the suggestion making my heart squeeze. I’m opening my mouth before I even know what I’m going to say.

“No. There has to be another way. I can’t live with—” Shaking my head as I push away from his embrace, I cross my arms.

He groans, a frustrated sound, as his hand slides through his hair again.

“Madds, I know he isn’t your favorite person. But if we ask him, I’m sure he would let us stay in his spare room for a while. We could both use the time to save up some money.” He says it softly, despite the tension in his jaw. His hand cups my cheek, tilting my face up and pressing his forehead to mine. I’m hit with the smell of citrus and jasmine, and I smile when I realize he’s wearing the cologne I bought him.

“I’m out of ideas,” he admits.

There’s a pang in my chest. “I don’t want to go back to Cedarwood.”

“I know it’s asking a lot, but I don’t want to do this without you,” he whispers, my eyes fluttering shut as his thumb brushes along the underside of my lip.

The idea of having to quit my internship isn’t what’s making me hesitate.

It’s him .

Jax Parker.

I swallow hard, guilt sitting heavy like an anvil on my chest. I’m not sure I can handle living under the same roof as those intense, knows-too-much, emerald eyes. Sometimes when I’m in the same room as him, I feel like I’m suffocating.

Although I haven’t done anything wrong—I have four years of history with Luke and I would never betray that—I did choose to omit something very important in the early days of our relationship. And now I have no idea how to broach the subject, how to fess up.

And I don’t like sharing this secret with Jax Parker.

Luke may occasionally berate himself for his own failures and shortcomings, but so do I. And unfortunately for us, communication isn’t one of our strengths.

I could stay in Crestwood Heights. Keep my internship and move back in with my aunt. Although we barely tolerate each other, she would never shut her door on me. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Luke. And I fear the added distance would be the final nail in the coffin of our already weakened relationship.

In the end, I decide I’m not going to cower to Jax Parker.

“I’ll come with you,” I tell him.

Luke smiles down at me, his dimples appearing with that boyish grin. He blows out a long exhale before placing a soft, chaste kiss to my lips. “You won’t regret it. I promise.” His words are a whispered breath against my mouth. “Everything is going to get better. We’ll have plenty of time to save up for a new apartment, and we can spend more time together, too.”

My heart skips a beat. Maybe getting away from Crestwood Heights will be good for us.

A fresh start.

I give him a tentative smile before telling him to call Jax. He nods, rolling his shoulders before pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. I wipe sweaty palms over my black leggings as I watch him amble towards the bedroom. Seconds later, the sound of his whispered voice carries down the hallway. I pace around the kitchen, blowing a strand of brown hair away when it falls across my vision.

What if Jax decides I’m not welcome at his house? Maybe he’ll see this as an opportunity to get me away from his little brother. He probably doesn’t think I’m good enough.

“Stop being paranoid,” I hiss to myself.

Releasing a frustrated huff, I tiptoe down the carpeted hallway. Once I’m standing outside our bedroom door that’s been left cracked open, I lean against the wall and strain my ears.

“Thanks, man. Maddie can come too, right?”

“Maddie?” With the speakerphone on, his voice rings out across the bedroom. I hold my breath at the slight crackle of the weak phone signal, the familiar gruff in his voice sounding…hesitant.

Fuck.

“She can’t stay with her aunt?” he asks. My stomach plummets.

“Come on, she’s my girl. I don’t want to be away from her. Besides, you know she doesn’t really get along with her aunt.”

There’s a tense moment of silence before a long, resigned sigh. “Of course, she’s always welcome.”

His words say one thing, his tone something completely different. Luke, seeming not to notice, thanks him profusely. They continue talking for a while, making plans and catching up.

I tiptoe back down the hallway, blinking away the sting in my eyes as I enter the living room. I don’t want to be around him anymore than he wants to be around me, so why do his words hurt? And why did I just agree to live under the same roof as a man who wants nothing to do with me?

“We won’t be here forever.”

Luke sighs at my continued silence before taking his hand off my knee and moving it back to the gear shift of his Honda Civic. My fingers clench in my lap as we enter the town limits. The slate-gray sign on the side of the road welcomes passing travelers to Cedarwood Valley, Virginia. Toward the top of the sign, a small set of mountaintops carved into the wood reads Gateway to Cedarwood Peak Mountains .

There was a time, when I was younger, that I thought I would never leave this place. But I haven’t thought of this quaint town as my home in five years. I’m practically a stranger to its residents now, and I certainly have no one here whom I would consider family.

Not anymore.

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t missed the picturesque streets of downtown with the view of mountaintops nestled in the background. There’s something to be said for the slower pace of life, the tight-knit community, and the general sense of safety compared to—well, anywhere else really.

“I’m sorry I fucked up.”

My eyes leave the window to drift over to Luke’s defeated form slumped over the steering wheel. His free hand rakes through the loose strands of hair that flow freely over his shoulders today. It’s looking a bit tousled—a sure sign of his stress. His gaze is focused on the roadway, his lips pinched into a frown. When he rubs his fingers over his left temple like he’s warding off a headache, it makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend.

I’m not trying to punish him with my silence, but stuffing the car full of our meager belongings felt like a reality check this morning. I’m really doing this—moving back to Cedarwood Valley.

Moving in with Jax.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I sigh, giving in like I always do. “We’ll figure this out together. It’s only a speedbump.” Reaching over, I tug his free hand back to my lap and lace our fingers together. His are skinny, the black nail polish chipped. When he peers over at me, I offer up a small smile and he visibly relaxes.

Luke may be the reason we are in this mess, but giving him grief won’t fix anything.

“If he bothers you, let me know and I’ll talk to him,” he continues, his hand squeezing mine and interrupting the whirlwind inside my head. “I know he can be a bit of a grouch, but he’ll probably just keep to himself.”

I frown. “I can handle him.” Probably.

Maybe this situation wouldn’t feel so bleak if we weren’t throwing ourselves at his mercy.

Jax fucking Parker.

Just the mention of his name makes me want to grind my teeth.

While Luke’s older brother didn’t hesitate to offer up his guest bedroom, he’s the last person I want to live with.

He’s a grouchy, bossy, egotistical know-it-all.

Unlike us, he seems to have his life together. He owns his home, runs his own business, managed to raise Luke into a decent human being after their parents died, and he’s offering to let both of us crash at his place until we are back on our feet. So obviously, he’s not a terrible human being.

It’s just…hard to be around him with our history. It’s hard to look at him without thinking about that one rouge meeting we had months before I even met Luke. And since the day Luke first brought me home, Jax has looked at me like I’m a bug under a microscope.

And yet, he never breathed a word about any of it to Luke.

Why?

Honestly, I don’t like to think about that night any more than I have to. And up until recently, with me and Luke living in Crestwood Heights, that hasn’t been too much of a problem. But it’s going to be hard to avoid him now that we’ll be under his roof.

“Home sweet home,” Luke mutters dryly.

I peer out the window as the car turns into a gravel driveway next to a sign that reads Parker’s Automotive Care . The words are painted in red on the green, wooden sign that is slightly slanted. Next to it sits a monster-sized tire with an assortment of daisies sprouting from the ground inside it. Within a few seconds, the four-stall garage with its attached lobby comes into view. Since today is Sunday, it’s completely deserted.

Our car slowly makes its way up the long, winding driveway, and my pulse begins to thump at the base of my neck. Dread curls inside my gut as the house comes into view.

At least it’s a large house, so it’ll be easy enough to avoid each other.

And—coming from someone with a background in interior design—it’s not a bad house to look at. It’s a spacious, creamy white building with slate-gray shutters and a wooden porch that gives it curbside appeal. There’s a garage attached to the house, and the car stops just outside of it. Luke turns the motor off and there’s an awkward silence.

I clear my throat. “You’re right. It won’t be that bad, and this is our best option. Staying here until we can save up to afford a nicer place of our own.”

Luke nods thoughtfully, his gaze sliding over to the house. Then he sighs, turning towards me with a lopsided grin. “Let’s get this over with. The sooner we get settled, the sooner we can break in the new mattress.”

I roll my eyes, biting down on the smile that wants to spread across my face. A pleasant warmth settles in my chest, but I try not to get my hopes up. I still remember the early days of our relationship when Luke couldn’t keep his hands off me. Lately, it feels like we are both simply going through the motions, and I miss the days when we would actively look for any excuse to slip off to the bedroom.

Luke reaches forward and places a soft kiss on my lips before pulling away and slipping out of the car. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I roll my shoulders and open the car door. While Luke walks around the back of the vehicle to open the trunk where our suitcases are, I can’t help but want to bask in the warmth of the sun. Something about the hot rays hitting my skin makes my brain feel like it’s being given feel-good endorphins that loosen all the tension from my shoulders. Tipping my head back towards the yellow glow, I close my eyes and give myself a minute to feel the warmth on my face. A smile tugs at my lips.

Until the thump of a suitcase hitting the ground reaches my ears, and I open my eyes again.

And there he is, those emerald eyes locked on me.

My heart flips over in my chest, and I swallow.

Jax Parker stands on the porch, just as good-looking and surly as I remember. His navy-blue shirt is molded to his broad chest, and he wears a pair of Wranglers that accentuate his muscular thighs and, like usual, a pair of work boots. His black hair is short with a patchwork of stubble trailing down his square jaw. My eyes land on his right eyebrow—the scarred one that he got from a fishing accident when he was younger.

His gaze is pensive as it flits over to Luke before coming back to me with a clenched jaw. Even after all these years, his obvious disdain for me puts a sinking sensation in my stomach. I don’t want to be this affected by him, but I’ve never been able to shake it.

“Thought you guys were going to be here for breakfast.” He draws the words out slowly in that velvety, smooth voice. Luke gathers up his suitcase, shooting him an exasperated look as he walks past him up the porch steps. Jax stares right back, not even blinking. We actually were supposed to be here for breakfast, but Luke managed to sleep through all of his alarm clocks and only grumbled at me when I tried to wake him up.

I grimace before turning back to my own suitcase, wishing I hadn’t packed so much shit into it. All the bedrooms are upstairs, and I can already feel the way the straps will dig into my shoulders the entire way up. I reach down and pull it toward me, trying to keep the tremble out of my arms as I heft it up.

Only for a familiar large hand to yank it out of my grasp. I almost jump back in surprise, my jaw going slack as Jax slings it over his shoulder like it weighs nothing—because it probably does to that giant of a man—and stalks away. I quickly trail after him, trying to keep up with his long strides. His boots thump onto the porch with each step up.

“I can get that,” I protest. My hands reach out to take it back, but he’s already walking through the front door.

“Mmm.”

That’s his only reply.

Here’s the thing about Jax: I’ve never been able to get a good read on him. Maybe because of the distance we force between us. But I can’t tell if he’s just trying to be nice, if he’s only going through the motions because that’s how he was taught to act by his father, or if he just thinks I’m completely incapable.

I don’t allow myself to be annoyed because let’s face it: that suitcase is way overpacked and heavy as shit.

I pause in the doorway, my mouth open as I take in the living room. It’s been over a year since the one and only time I’ve been inside this house. Last time, it screamed bachelor pad. Today it looks…well, it looks like the way I would decorate my own home. The house has an open-floor concept, and there’s a large, dark-gray sectional in the living room. The wooden coffee table in front of it complements the fireplace on the far wall. Above that hangs a large TV. And behind the couch, against the wall that supports the staircase, hangs a massive painting. It’s a mountain range that looks pretty similar to the ones that surround this valley, with vibrant hues of orange and yellow.

Did he hire someone to decorate this place, or did he do it himself?

Shit, there’s even a chunky, white-knit throw hanging over the back of the couch. And candles—there are candles on the coffee table. It looks welcoming. Cozy, even.

Was I expecting his home to look like a dungeon?

The murmuring of voices draws my attention away, and I quickly dart up the stairs. Rounding the corner, I follow the sound to the last bedroom on the left.

“…. might need to hire someone else at the shop.”

I can only make out the tail end of Jax’s sentence as I walk up behind them. Jax stands in the doorway, arms crossed, staring at Luke. Luke scowls before plopping down on the white comforter of a queen-sized bed next to our suitcases.

“I’m not working with you.” Luke’s eyebrows pinch together as he scoffs, apparently finding the idea ridiculous. A low simmer of irritation makes itself known in my belly as Jax scoots over, giving me space to walk into the room. Other than that, he makes no acknowledgment of my presence, and that irritates me, too.

“Why not? It’s a job.” Jax’s voice takes on that firm, no nonsense tone. I bite my tongue, wanting to agree but not wanting to openly take Jax’s side over Luke’s.

“I might have something lined up soon,” Luke admits. He rubs the back of his neck. “But it would be seasonal.”

“What sort of job?” Jax asks.

At the same time, I blurt out, “You didn’t tell me about this.”

Luke gives me an apologetic wince, while Jax shoots me a look that can only be irritation. I give him one right back and, for just a second, I think I see the tiniest twitch of a smile. I ignore the butterflies taking victory laps inside my stomach and turn back to Luke.

“Uh, well…I haven’t decided if I want to take it yet.” His voice is tentative, his eyes not meeting mine. There’s a sort of sheepish look on his face, and it makes me want to growl in frustration.

“Luke, I can understand not wanting to work with your brother,” I begin, only to be interrupted by said brother’s scoff. I narrow my eyes and shoot him an unimpressed look. There’s that damn lip twitch again. “But we really can’t afford to be picky right now. Whatever it is, just take it until you find something better.”

“Easy for you to say.” He finally looks at me, a frown marring his expression.

My eyebrows furrow. “What does that mean? I’m not exactly working my dream job out here either.”

But I gave up a very prestigious internship for you.

“You have a degree,” Luke points out with a petulant shrug. “You can get something in your field. Something you actually like. It’s not that easy for me.”

“If you wanted to be picky, then you shouldn’t have dropped out of college,” Jax snaps.

“College isn’t for everyone,” I argue. A hot well of frustration bubbles up inside me, this room suddenly feeling a little too crowded. I address Luke again. “I took a job as a cashier at a home décor store that’s a forty-minute drive from here. It’s not exactly going to be a cake walk for me either.”

“Thought you had a degree,” Jax interrupts again, turning towards me this time. Why is he still here? He doesn’t need to be present for this argument. “And an internship,” he adds. I can feel his quizzical stare boring into the side of my face.

“Why are you asking so many questions right now?” I snap, sending him a glare. The bastard has the audacity to smirk.

“Answer the question,” he orders.

“Look, bro—” Luke begins, standing up.

Me and Jax face each other, arms crossed and ignoring him.

“Since you are just dying to know about my personal life,” I seethe, “I have a bachelor’s in interior design, and I had an internship in the city that I quit because it wasn’t bringing in any money. But I’m starting at Zamora’s Home Décor on Monday. It’ll pay the bills until I can find something better in my field. So, if you’re worried about me being a freeloader, don’t be.”

I expect Jax to relax now that I’ve assuaged some of his worries. As if I would ever ask him for money. It was hard enough to accept his invitation to live here. But if anything, now he just looks furious. For some reason, his eyes narrow and he shoots a scathing look towards Luke. He points at him.

“Either you take the job offer or you work for me starting next Monday. You choose.” His voice is quieter than before, his body tense. It’s the kind of tone that brokers no arguments. And without another word, he shakes his head and stalks out of the bedroom. I shut the door behind him, leaning against it and letting my head thump against the wood.

“Living with him is going to be a nightmare,” I mumble, rubbing my tired eyes. “Has he always been like this?”

Luke chuckles before patting his hand on the empty spot next to him. I move toward it, intending to sit next to him but thinking better of it at the last second. Instead, I drape myself over his lap.

His hands come up to rest on my lower back as he sighs. “Ever since our parents died, yeah. It’s like he forgets that he’s my brother and not my father.”

We’re silent for a moment as I digest his words and press my forehead against his. “I think he means well,” I finally admit.

Luke nods. “Yeah, but I wish he would act like my brother. I’m old enough to take care of myself now.”

Giving him a sympathetic smile, I squeeze his shoulders reassuringly and decide to change the subject. “So, what’s the job?”

“There’s a vacation resort,” he begins. “Way up in the mountains, about three hours from here. They need some help for the winter season. Manning the front desk, answering the phones, taking care of the guests—shit like that,” he says with a shrug.

My heart plummets and I pull back to stare down at him. “Three hours? But that’s—”

“Yeah.” He blows out a long exhale. “I would have to board in one of their rooms for the entire three-month contract.” One of his hands slides around to squeeze my hip, and his voice dips into a whisper. “That’s why I wasn’t sure if I should take the job or not, babe, it would be hard as hell to be away from you that long.”

Fuck.

The idea of living alone in this big house with only Jax for company makes my mouth go dry. A sliver of panic crawls down my spine and I shake my head. “Me and your brother barely get along as it is. There’s no way that—”

“Shh, I know,” Luke murmurs. He presses a soft, lingering kiss to my lips before moving to my neck. His teeth nibble at the sensitive spot just beneath my ear, and I hum.

“He offered you a job at his shop. What about that?”

“No fucking way,” Luke grouses, immediately pulling away from me. I crawl off his lap, frustration twisting in my belly as he stands up and begins to pace back and forth.

“Why not?” I ask.

He rolls his eyes. “He’s already on my ass all the time. I can only imagine how much more of a tightwad he’ll be if I work for him.”

Okay, good point.

“Look, I’ll figure it out. Okay?”

I cross my arms, staring at him as he moves across the room and puts his shoes back on. “Are you going somewhere?” I ask.

He pauses, shooting me a guilty look before standing. “Some of my old buddies want to hang out and catch up. I’ll be back later.”

“But we just got here!”

Luke walks up to me, cupping my jaw and giving me a pleading look. “I know, I know,” he says placatingly. “But I really need to blow off some steam. We’ll spend some time together tomorrow, alright?” He leans forward, brushing his lips over mine. Some frustrated part of me wants to keep arguing, and yet another part of me wants a few moments of silence to myself.

“Fine.”

He taps me on the chin with the back of his knuckle before shooting me a wink. “Thanks, babe.” Spinning on his heel, he strolls out the door, slamming it behind him.

“Love you, too,” I mumble.

Flopping down on the soft mattress beneath me, I stare at the popcorn-style ceiling and listen to the sounds of someone moving around downstairs.

Jax.

There’s a swooping sensation in my stomach, and my breathing speeds up as flashes of the night we met come to me unbidden.

It’s the whole reason why we avoid each other.

The night I almost fucked my boyfriend’s brother.