9. Chapter Nine
Jax
“ W hy are spiders so smart?” Andrew asks. I groan from underneath a Jeep, his black work shoes appearing in my line of vision as he stands next to the jacked-up vehicle. Briefly, I wonder if banging my head against the garage floor will make him go away.
“Don’t you have a job to do?” I mutter, cursing when a wrench slips from my hand. It clatters to the floor, the sound making me flinch.
Andrew, as usual, isn’t at all perturbed by my attitude. “Because they can find everything on the web!” His boisterous laughter has me clamping my lips together.
I grunt. “Get the fuck back to work.”
“Oh, come on. That was funny!”
I push myself out from underneath the Jeep and smirk at him. “For a twenty-year old kid, you have an unusual fondness for dad jokes. Is there something I need to know?” Pushing myself off my knees, I grab a nearby towel and wipe the grease off my hands.
He shakes his head. “You’re a hard cookie to crack, boss. If I don’t get you to laugh by the end of the week, I’ll owe Paige another ten bucks.”
“Get that look out of your eyes,” I gruffly order.
“What look?” He innocently bats his eyelashes.
“That look,” I mutter, pointing an accusatory finger towards his face, “that says you’re scheming and up to no good.” His lips twitch, and I narrow my eyes. “How about we make our own deal?”
His eyes light up, and he leans forward. “Sounds interesting. Whatcha thinkin’?”
“Make me laugh at one of your lame jokes, and I’ll owe you a hundred bucks. If you don’t, then you never tell me another joke again.”
“How much time do I have?”
I think for a minute. “Six months.”
“I’ll take you up on that bet!” Andrew does a little jig, practically jumping with excitement. Clearly, he thinks I’ve given him plenty of time. But I think he underestimates my resolve, or how lame I find his jokes to be.
Even if they do occasionally make me want to smile.
Not that I would ever admit to that.
“Hope you’re ready to lose,” I warn him. “You’re gonna die a little bit inside each time you think of a new one and can’t share it with me, aren’t you?” A chuckle rumbles from my throat. Andrew opens his mouth and I’m vaguely aware that he’s rambling about the ways he plans on spending the hundred bucks I’ll owe to him, but I’m no longer listening.
The flash of Maddie’s red Toyota Corolla catches my eye as it drives past the shop towards the house. Just the thought of finally getting a glimpse of her sends a riot of nerves through me. It’s been two weeks since she broke up with Luke and one week since she’s moved back in with me. She’s been avoiding me like a disease.
This shit needs to end.
“Can you close the shop up today?” I ask Andrew. Normally, it’s either me or Paige who closes up for the day. But she’s on vacation this week, and I’m not putting this conversation off any longer. He gives me a mock salute, and I turn away from him before he can see me rolling my eyes.
Hurrying to the bathroom, I scrub my hands until the remnants of grease are gone. Then I make sure my office door is locked before stepping out into the chilly air. As I walk towards the house, my cell phone pings with a text message. I sigh when I pull it out.
Luke: How is she?
Mostly just keeping to herself. She’s fine.
He’s been texting me almost every day. Although we haven’t spoken about it much, he knows how angry I am. Our father raised us to be the kind of men who are faithful to their women and, when he passed away, I continued to raise him with the same morals. But after I got over the initial anger, I quit giving him a hard time. It has been obvious to me that he deeply regrets his actions, and he’s grieving the end of their relationship.
I hate to see him hurting, even when he deserves it.
Throwing the front door open, my gaze sweeps around the house. Quickly seeing that the downstairs area is empty, I bound up the steps. I take them two at a time, trying to get there before she—
The sound of her bedroom door shutting has a well of frustration rising in my chest.
“Shit!” I curse, clenching my fist and slamming it down on the stairwell banister. It sends a sharp sting of pain through my hand, but I ignore it.
If I had to guess, she plans on holing herself up in her room all night. Because that’s what she’s done every single night since she’s been back. And I don’t know why it matters. It’s not like we haven’t ignored each other for the past four years anyway. I pause outside her bedroom before running a hand through my hair.
Raising my fist, I decide tonight is the night I’m finally going to knock.
But then I remember what happened the last time I was this close to her bedroom, and I draw in a shuddering breath. Arousal threatens to stir my cock to life, and I groan. Resting my head against the closed door, I squeeze my eyes shut.
I already barreled my way into her place of work, making demands like a neanderthal. And now I’m going to barge into her bedroom making even more demands while sporting a hard on? What would I even say to her?
My shoulders slump.
Tomorrow.
I’ll try again tomorrow.
The next evening, I leave work early again. Andrew doesn’t even bat an eye when I ask him to close the shop for a second night in a row. The kid might be a bit of a clown, but he has a good heart and he’s responsible. I make myself a mental note to give him a raise.
I’m sitting half-way up the staircase with my legs stretched out in front of me when the door opens. Maddie walks inside, wincing as she bends down to take off her high heels. Once they both dangle from her hand, she turns toward the stairs. When she doesn’t seem to notice me, I clear my throat.
A shrill yelp spills from her lips as a hand flies to her chest. I laugh, low and amused as she shoots daggers with her eyes. Slowly standing up, I hold my palms up in a surrendering gesture and smirk. “Didn’t know you spook so easy.”
She pinches her eyebrows together, a befuddled expression on her face. “What are you doing there?” she asks.
I shrug. “Waiting on you.”
She scrunches her nose. “What? Why?”
“Because we need to talk about why you keep avoiding me.”
When her shoulders slump and she blows out a breath, I feel guilty. I asked her to come back because the idea of her sleeping on her friend’s couch didn’t sit right with me. I also couldn’t fight the urge to make her life easier, more comfortable for her. Me harassing her to talk when she clearly doesn’t want to is the opposite of that.
Maybe I’m a selfish bastard after all.
But if Maddison Raddix is going to be living under my roof for the next few months, I’ll be damned if I don’t finally bridge this gap between us for my own selfish and personal reasons. I can’t be with her because of who she is to my brother, but I just want a little bit of her time.
“I’m not avoiding you.” She can’t quite bring herself to make eye contact with me when she says that.
“Liar,” I purr, sauntering down the steps toward her, not pausing until only three steps remain between us. Her head tilts up as I tower over her. It’s so fucking cute how she thinks she can lie to me. As if I wouldn’t see right through her. She swallows, and my eyes follow the movement of her throat before dipping down to her collarbone.
“Do we need to talk about it?” I ask softly. That dainty, pink tongue of hers darts out to lick across her bottom lip. And fuck if that doesn’t conjure up all kinds of dirty images in my brain.
“Talk about what?”
Focus, Jax .
“Are you really going to play coy?” Descending the last three steps, I pause in front of her. My heart begins to pound in my chest. Why am I standing so close to her? Is she breathing a little faster now?
When she crosses her arms and gives me a stubborn look, irritation heats my insides.
“If we need to have this conversation so you can stand to be around me for more than a few minutes, then let’s have it,” I begin. Taking another step closer, I dare to crowd her just a little more. A fierce pleasure surges through me when she tilts her chin up and gives me a defiant look. I love that she refuses to cower to me.
“Okay, let me recap the situation for you. Four years ago, we met in a bar. I took you out to my truck, and you almost came on my fingers.” At this, her eyes and nostrils flare. She sucks in a harsh breath, and I give her a wolfish grin. It fades as I begin speaking again. “I walked away because I found out how young you were, and a few months later, you started dating my little brother. I spent the next four years ignoring you and acting like I don’t still find you incredibly attractive. Then a few weeks ago, I stood in your doorway and jacked off.”
She gulps, and my eyes dip to her lips.
“Does that about cover everything?” I whisper. She nods. I swallow, hating the butterflies that flit about in my belly.
“If I ever made you uncomfortable, then I sincerely apologize. But if you’re avoiding me because you think it’s always going to be awkward between us, or you think I’m going to make a move on you now that my brother is gone, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Jax, I—"
I hold up a hand to stop her as I smile gently. “He’s the only family I have left, so I could never do that to him. Nor would I want to pressure you into something if I thought you weren’t one-hundred percent on board with me.” I lower my voice then, letting it drop into a low staccato as my eyes dip down to her lips again. “It doesn’t mean I don’t fight the urge to bend you over the counter and fuck you every goddamned day.”
A quiet whimper tumbles out of her lips, but she tries to cover it up with a cough. That sweet, delectable sound makes my entire body tighten.
Shit, this is going to be harder than I thought.
“Jax, I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to say to that.” She blinks up at me with wide eyes, her lips parted.
I shrug. “You don’t need to say anything. I just wanted us to clear the air and say that this thing we do,” I say, pointing from my chest to hers, “where we ignore each other, let’s not do that anymore. There’s no reason why we can’t share this house without tiptoeing around each other. We can be…adults about this.” I rub the back of my neck and shift on my feet as I wait for a response.
Surprisingly, a nervous flicker of fear flutters in my gut.
“We could be friends?” she asks hesitantly.
That’s not all I want to be, but that’s what I’ll have to settle for.
“Yeah, friends.” I nod, my lips quirking into a genuine smile that she returns.
“Okay. Friends.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ears, and I study the movement. Warmth spreads through my chest as I continue standing there, smiling dumbly at her. Why haven’t we had this conversation before? We could have been friends all this time—Luke wouldn’t have cared if I had befriended her. Because there’s nothing going on between us. Nothing.
I jerk my head towards the TV. “There’s an Impractical Jokers marathon on tonight. You want to watch it with me?” I love the way her eyes light up, a hopeful excitement flashing across her features as her entire demeanor seems to perk up.
Does she know how pretty she is when she’s happy, and how do I keep that look on her face all the time?
“You watch that show?” she asks. “I love it! Luke and I used to watch it all the time!” At the mention of Luke’s name, some of my happiness dims. Which is ridiculous because I can’t be jealous of my own brother. Not for swooping in and going after a woman who is clearly a ten out of ten, not after I walked away.
He didn’t know I wanted her.
“Really? Who’s your favorite?” I ask. Going to the kitchen first, I grab a bag of popcorn and two soda cans. She flashes me an appreciative smile when I set the bag between us and hand her a drink.
“Hmmm, gosh. I think it’s a tie between Joe and Sal.” Her face scrunches up into this adorable expression as she muses over the question. “You?”
“Oh, definitely Joe.” Propping my feet up on the coffee table in front of me, I study her out of the side of my eye as she does the same. The show begins, and the silence between us feels surprisingly comfortable. We laugh at the antics of the four comedians as they prank unsuspecting people. I laugh until my belly aches, and I’m beyond pleased to hear feminine peals of laughter from Maddie.
Eventually, the marathon ends. I expect her to scurry to her bedroom as soon as it’s over, no doubt eager to get away from me again. But she surprises me by snuggling down into the couch with a contented yawn. My heart does a funny little flip as I watch her blink at the TV. “ Coming to America is on next. Have you ever watched that movie? It has Eddie Murphy in it. It’s so funny.” She yawns again.
I jerk my chin towards the TV. “Let’s watch it.”
Reaching behind me, I pull on the chunky throw blanket resting on the back of the couch and spread it over Maddie’s body. She gives me a sleepy grin. The movie starts, and I find myself chuckling at the antics of a foreign prince trying to blend in with everyday civilians in New York.
About halfway through the movie, I glance over at Maddie. My heart nearly stops. She’s slumped on the couch, her head lolling towards my shoulder as light snores rumble from her chest. A fierce longing rushes through me, momentarily taking my breath away in the process. This time with her is something I never expected to have, and it’s bittersweet.
My fingers tremble as I reach my hand towards her. Gently palming the back of her head, I guide her body to lay down with her head on my lap. I’m careful not to wake her, but I also don’t want her to get cricks in her neck. My heart swells with contentment as I watch her peaceful slumber. Then my hands travel back down, and this time, I run my fingers through the soft strands of her brown hair. I study the strands, watching the way the overhead light makes them shine. Unable to pass up the temptation to freely study her, my eyes travel down. I drink in the delicate slope of her neck, the expanse of her collarbone, and the generous swell of her breasts. My cock twitches in my jeans as I remember cupping them that night in my truck. They were a perfect fucking handful. Then my eyes travel down the curve of her hips, and I remember the way it felt when she straddled me.
I groan as I shift in my seat, trying to adjust my half-hard cock without waking her.
“Friends.” I scoff, peering down at her sleeping form with a pained smile. “You have no clue how much that word kills me, do you, sweetheart?”
Credits roll on the TV screen. With my own eyes beginning to feel heavy, I gingerly loop my arms underneath Maddie’s limp body. Making sure my hold is secure, I slowly stand up and carry her up the stairs. She turns her face and nuzzles into my neck without waking.
Her bedroom door creaks as I push it open, making me wince. But Maddie sleeps through it, and I sigh in relief. Pulling back the covers, I lay her down before tucking the blankets around her and reluctantly step back.
Part of me longs to forget all about my baby brother, slip into this bed behind her, and pull her into my arms. How many nights did he fall asleep next to her without thanking God for her presence in his life? I can’t imagine having Maddie in my bed and not wanting to worship her.
I force myself to step out of the room and quietly shut the door behind me.
“Just friends,” I remind myself. “No problem. I can do that.”
Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll even believe it.
The weather gradually turns cold as another week passes by in a blur, but I barely notice. Each morning, I make sure to cook two servings of breakfast. I’ve discovered that Maddie won’t eat before work unless I make enough for both of us. She may believe she isn’t a breakfast person, but I notice the way her eyes light up with anticipation when she comes down the stairs. Often, she has dinner for two ready by the time I get home in the evenings. Some days, we eat in front of the TV in the living room, and on other days, we eat together at the kitchen table. Conversation seems to come easier between us now. We often talk about our days and gossip about our coworkers. I asked her once if she wanted to talk about Luke, and she told me she felt guilty for not missing him more. Other than that, she didn’t seem too inclined to talk about the way things ended between them.
Actually, she spends a fair amount of time complaining about her new boss. Just the mention of Irene Johnson makes me grit my teeth now. I would love to give that old crone a piece of my mind, after I whack her over the head with the high heels I know Maddie despises.
Stealing a glance at the clock, I sigh. For the first time since I’ve become a volunteer firefighter, I wish I hadn’t. I’m scheduled for a shift tonight, which means I can’t spend the evening with Maddie. I’ve become greedy for her time.
Walking into the laundry room, I reach for the work uniform I keep hanging up in there. With my thoughts occupied by a certain brunette woman, I accidently jam my elbow against the laundry basket sitting on top of the dryer. It slides across the shiny, metallic surface and nearly tumbles off the edge. Cursing under my breath, I grab onto the plastic corners of the white basket and steady it.
That’s when my eyes finally take in its contents, and a growl rumbles up my throat. Maddie has a bad habit of throwing her laundry into the basket and forgetting about it, often not folding it for days afterwards. And this time, she left behind a pile of undergarments. Heat spreads down my spine, going straight to my cock where it begins to swell.
These black little scraps of lace are supposed to cover her pussy?
Without thinking, my hand snaps out and snatches one up. I hold the thin, sheer material in front of my face.
Christ.
I bet when she’s wearing these, a man can see straight through them. My thumb glides down the middle seam, my balls beginning to ache at the thought of ripping these off her. Slowly looking around, and seeing no sign of her, I pocket the lacy scrap in my jeans with a sadistic chuckle.
Reaching down, I grab another item out of the basket. This time, my attention snags onto a black, sheer bra with a floral design. Jesus, I bet her perky nipples would—
“What are you doing?”
The sudden noise makes me jump, and my heart damn near leaps out of my chest at having been caught. I whirl around, my eyes immediately finding Maddie standing at the top of the basement steps with eyebrows raised. Then she notices what I’m holding, and her cheeks flush a light pink. My mouth goes dry when her gaze dips even lower, and I just know she sees the outline of my erection.
“Maddie.” I clear my throat, my heart pumping wildly. Is she going to think I’m a creep and a pervert now? I wrack my brain, trying to come up with any excuse that might make this seem a little more innocent.
Wait, is this turning her on?
Her eyes darken as she drags in a sharp breath. When her gaze lingers a little longer on my hard cock than is appropriate for a “friend,” it feels like her eyes are branding me. I clear my throat, and she finally pulls her eyes back up to mine. Her pupils are darkening with desire. I’m filled with a sense of anticipation now, and although I know I should walk away, I’m not ready to do that yet.
I let my lips tilt into a coy smirk, and I drag my own eyes down her body, making no attempt to hide the blatantly obvious way I’m drinking her in. Based on her clothing and her appearance, I’m guessing she was down there working out. She’s wearing a dark red sports bra, her breasts straining against the fabric. I watch in fascination as a drop of sweat glides down her chest and disappears into the valley of her cleavage. My mouth waters with the need to taste her.
“Jax.” Her voice is breathy now, no more than a quiet whisper. She says my name like it’s both a plea and a warning.
Her chest moves with each inhale, and my skin suddenly feels too tight. Heat zips down my spine as my gaze slides down the smooth expanse of her belly before studying the way those leggings hug her hips.
Just when I’m about to give into temptation and touch her, she says my name again. “Jax.”
My eyes drag back up to her face. I can’t help but notice the way she’s staring at my hands. I’ve caught her ogling them several times this week. But today, she looks mesmerized. And because I can’t resist the urge to stoke the flames between us a little higher, I let my thumb caress the cup of the bra. Right where her nipples would be, if she were wearing them right now. She sucks in another breath.
“Just picturing you wearing these,” I admit, my voice gravelly. Surprise flickers across her face, and I almost laugh. Yeah, I’m guessing she didn’t think I was actually going to tell the truth. I let the bra dangle off my fingers as our eyes meet again and cluck my tongue. “Fair warning: if you don’t want me to picture you wearing these in my bed while I jerk off, then I would start putting your laundry up.”
“I didn’t mean to—I wasn’t trying—” she begins, fumbling over her words.
Adorable.
Unable to help myself, I cock my head to the side and arch my scarred eyebrow. “Use your words, Maddison.”
Something flairs to life in her eyes then, my cocky challenge lighting some kind of spark. Her response catches me off guard.
“Keep them then. Think about me when you touch yourself.” She tilts her chin up. “Maybe I want something that belongs to you in return.”
I drop the garment on the floor, something snapping inside me as I surge forward. She squeaks, her back hitting the wall with a quiet thud as I tower over her. The front of my body presses into her chest, and the warmth of her skin sends a bolt of lust straight to my cock. A drop of precum seeps from the tip, and I tilt my hips forward so she can feel how hard I am through the denim of my jeans. Something about her breathy gasp pleases me.
Bracketing both forearms against either side of her, I cage her body against the wall. Her pupils dilate as she stares up at me, lips parting. I inhale deeply, breathing in her scent. I get a whiff of vanilla and a hint of sweat. I keep pressing her into the wall, dipping my head down and leaning in until our mouths are only an inch apart.
“Sweet girl, if you wanted to wear one of my shirts while you play with that pretty pussy,” I murmur, “all you had to do was ask.”
“Jax,” she says as a low whimper tears from her throat.
Rocking forward, I grind my erection into the soft space between her thighs. A groan slips from my mouth when the warm friction sends a zap of pleasure through my cock. Her eyelids flutter, her breathing growing heavier, her mouth tilting up….
And this is it.
She’s going to kiss me.
After so many long years, I’m going to kiss—
The shrill ringing of a cell phone makes us jump apart. The frustration of being thrust back into reality has me seeing red, and I utter a string of curses as my fist slams into the wall. I recognize that ringtone as the fire department. With a loud groan, I run my hand down my face and take a step away.
We shouldn’t be doing this .
“That’s the fire chief,” I grumble. “Probably wants me to come in early. I need to take that.”
Maddie nods, still looking dazed, but I think I see a flash of regret and guilt.
Fuck. What was I thinking?
“Sorry,” I mutter, refusing to meet her eyes as my thumb swipes to answer the phone call, and continue making a point of not looking at her as I get ready for my shift. I promise myself all night that I’ll never touch her again, that I won’t betray my own brother that way.
But it sure as hell doesn’t stop me from pulling her lacy panties out of my pocket and wrapping them around my cock while I come with her name on my lips.