17. Chapter Seventeen
Maddison
H oly fuck, this man’s sex drive is damn near insatiable. And I’m discovering just how quickly my libido can get revved up again, too. Jax’s body is like a drug I can’t resist. There’s something about the way his work-calloused hands explore my curves while his rusty, sleep-addled voice is murmuring dirty things in my ear that’s making me wet again. I glance at the clock on the nightstand next to me, mentally taking note of the ungodly hour.
“You can’t seriously be awake already. We were up half the night,” I groan, my voice scratchy. “It’s barely five in the morning. I need more sleep.” I need at least six hours of solid sleep to be a functioning human being.
“I’m not awake. My dick is.”
I giggle and smack his hand away from my breast. It slides down to my hip instead before grabbing a handful of my ass and grinding his morning erection along the crease. My nipples harden as I suck in a sharp breath and rub my thighs together.
The temptation to let him fuck me again, despite my lingering soreness from last night, is growing by the second.
“My pussy needs a break from your monster cock,” I mumble. I lean back into his body, arching my neck slightly. He kisses up the slope before nipping my ear. Neck kisses from Jax are my new weakness.
“I’ll be so gentle, baby.”
The words are a velvety purr in my ear, making me want to melt into the soft mattress beneath me. Fresh arousal seeps from my pussy, my clit giving a pulsing throb to let me know that we are indeed back in business. I spread my legs a little, and I can feel Jax’s smile against my shoulder. One hand slides under me to cup my breast, giving it a light squeeze. His other hand slips between the folds of my pussy, quickly finding my entrance and using a finger to spread my arousal up to my clit.
“You’re so wet. You need this, don’t you?” he whispers. His mouth suctions onto my shoulder, sucking lightly. My free hand manages to find its way back between our bodies, where I give his cock a few strokes. He hisses out a breath, rocking his erection into me a little faster.
“I can’t help it. You make me feel so good.”
His index finger rubs feather-light strokes around my clit. Heat pools in my belly, tiny bursts of pleasure ricocheting through my body with each stroke. My breathing quickens, my hips rocking forward to chase the friction.
With one hand, he lifts my leg over his hip to spread me open. His other hand guides the head of his cock through my slit. He bumps it against my clit, teasing me until I whimper. Then he’s pushing into me—slowly, so slowly. I gasp, the sensation of being filled by him indescribable. He feeds me his cock, inch-by-inch, until I’m taking all of him.
“There you go, baby, I knew you could take me again.”
His words send a wave of heat pulsing through me, and I clench around him. He curses under his breath, tightening his grip on my hip before he begins to rock into me. At this angle, his cock hits me in just the right spot. With each steady thrust, that delicious pressure builds.
Whereas last night was a raw, carnal fucking—a sating of desire that had been too long denied—this is a slow, languorous climb to the top.
“Yes,” I half-moan, half-sigh. “Just like that. Please, please.” His finger returns to my clit, and my body jerks at the electricity zapping through my nerves. Every touch pushes me closer and closer to that inevitable end…
“You’re always so good for me.”
I climax with a keening whimper, the rush of pleasure almost painful as it spreads outward. My lips fall open as my pussy squeezes around his cock, my mind swept away in the throes of passion. Jax groans, his hands stilling on my clit as his steady thrusts grow erratic. Then he’s spilling inside me with my name on his lips.
The dark bedroom is silent for long minutes, filled with nothing but our quiet panting. Jax breathes into my neck, his cock remaining inside me while his arm flexes around my waist. My body is boneless, and my mind is a fuzzy haze as I snuggle into his arms. Eventually, I force my limbs to climb out of bed and clean myself up in the bathroom.
When I return, I expect him to be turned away from me and lost to sleep. But I keep forgetting that Jax isn’t like the other guys I’ve been with. He’s still sprawled out on his back, the blanket bunched around his hips. He gives me a sleepy grin when I stumble towards the bed and drape my body atop his. Then he pulls the blanket over us, his fingers tracing up and down my spine.
“I want you more than I should,” I admit. “Even after everything Luke has done, I don’t want to hurt him.”
His fingers pause for a moment then resume their lazy path. “I would have never acted on this if you had stayed with him.” His voice is thick with guilt. “Even now, I know I shouldn’t. I should stay away, but I’m weak when it comes to you.”
My heart performs a little flip-flop, and I place a gentle kiss on his chest. “So, we have a few months to get this out of our systems, yeah?”
He swallows. “Yeah.”
“We’ll make the most of it,” I whisper.
“Of course we will.”
Neither of us says anything after that, and I resolve not to bring the subject up again. I don’t want to talk about our past when we have so little time to enjoy each other in the present. I’m going to spend the next few months soaking up every second I can get with Jax Parker. Then I’m going to hold onto those memories when I walk away.
Because I will have to walk away.
I cannot be his dirty secret forever, and I’m not delusional enough to think that he would ever choose me over his own brother.
He’s a protector at heart, and he’ll deny both of us if it means he can shelter his baby brother from the betrayal.
Despite my tumultuous thoughts, sleep tugs at my consciousness and pulls me under again. I succumb willingly, still held in his arms like I’m something precious while his fingers graze up and down my back. The action doesn’t feel causal and neither do the sweet endearments that have been slipping out of his mouth, the possessiveness he displays, or the warm embrace that makes me feel cherished and protected.
No, it doesn’t feel casual at all.
Not to my heart.
Pounding on the front door startles me awake, and I come to with a yelp. Jax curses beneath me as I bolt up in the bed, my hand flying to my chest. My heart bangs against my rib cage as I rub the sleep out of my bleary eyes. Jax scrambles out of the bed, yanking his feet into a pair of Wranglers. I quickly climb out of bed as well, frantically scanning for my own clothes. Another round of pounding makes me jump.
“Hold your horses! I’m comin’!” Jax bellows, before turning to me with a frown and lowering his voice. “Stay here until I know who it is.” Then he’s barreling through the doorway, his heavy footsteps loud as they descend the staircase.
I scowl at the now empty space, picking up Jax’s discarded shirt from last night and throwing it on. It goes far enough past my thighs that I don’t have to worry about flashing anyone. “Like hell am I going to stay behind.”
I rush out of the room that still smells like sex, taking long strides to catch up to him. He notices me just as his hand wraps around the door handle, and his eyes flutter shut before pinning me with a disapproving expression.
“Jesus, Maddie. There could be a robber at the door, and you want to answer it half-naked?”
“A robber is politely ringing your doorbell at eight o’clock in the morning?”
He points a finger at me. “I’m warning you right now, whoever is on the other side of this door better not stare at those sexy as fuck bare legs. If they do, I’m going to jail today.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, but a choked laugh still escapes. His lips twitch, and he shakes his head before pulling the door open.
A sheepish-looking Andrew stands in his work uniform on the other side. With him is a frail-looking, elderly woman with silver hair. She wears a floral-patterned dress with a green cardigan sweater and the brightest shade of red lipstick I’ve ever seen. She gives Jax a wide grin before her eyes immediately dart to me. She looks me over, her expression lighting up with something I can’t discern.
“Andrew? What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be working?” Jax crosses his arms over one another, frowning before his gaze slowly moves over to the woman. His tense stance relaxes, and he moves forward to kiss her on the cheek.
“Everything okay?” he asks her.
“Oh sure, I get a ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ ” Andrew begins, mimicking Jax’s deeper voice. “Meanwhile, you fuss over her.” When he jerks his thumb towards the woman, Jax gives Andrew a dark scowl.
“Stop it, the both of you! I want to meet your lady friend.” She winks at me, holding out a hand. “My name is Mary! I used to babysit the Parker men. I hope this one is being a gentleman.” She nods towards Jax, and I chuckle quietly before stepping forward to shake her hand.
“I’m Maddison. I’m…uh, staying here for a while,” I finish lamely. Her responding smirk seems a little too knowing.
“We actually come bearing bad news,” Andrew says, his eyes sliding to Mary.
Her smile slips, and she gives Jax an apologetic grimace. “I’m sorry, dear, but I may have had a little accident.” She holds up her index and thumb finger in a pinching motion.
Jax gives her a curious look. “What kind of accident?”
“Well, I may have accidently hit the gas pedal instead of the brake when I was turning into the driveway of the shop. And I sort of hit your sign out there.” She winces. “I’ll pay for the damages, of course.”
“Are you okay?” There’s a flash of concern on his face as he scans her up and down before spinning on his heel to grab a set of keys that hang nearby. “Do you need to go to the hospital? I can take you—”
She waves him off. “No, nothing that serious. I’m not hurt.”
“Looks like your sign took most of the damage,” Andrew says before adding, “And some of the paint off her car.”
Jax sighs. “Thank God no one got hurt.”
Mary beams up at him, one of her wrinkled fingers coming up to pinch his cheek.
“What were you doing here anyway?” Jax tilts his head, studying her. “I usually come to you.”
Maybe I imagine it, but I swear she shoots a guilty expression my way. But it’s there and gone in a flash.
“I just thought you might be too busy,” she says with a shrug.
Jax gives her an expression that says he doesn’t believe that, but he doesn’t call her out on it.
“Well!” Andrew claps his hands together once. “You want to see the damage, boss?” Jax nods once, telling Andrew that we’ll be right out as soon as we get dressed. Andrew finally seems to notice our lack of clothing, his eyebrows shooting up. When his gaze lands on my bare legs, Jax honest-to-God growls at the poor kid. His eyes widen comically, and he quickly steps back with two palms raised in a placating gesture. Mary only snickers, shooting me a wink.
Warmth creeps across my cheeks.
Jax slams the door shut.
“Keep acting like a certifiable caveman, and it won’t be long before the whole town figures out that we’re fucking,” I hiss at him, my index finger poking him in the side. He smirks.
I roll my eyes and begin making my way back up the stairs.
Jax follows behind me, and when I glance over my shoulder, he’s staring at my ass. Then he moves quickly, pulling up the hem of his borrowed shirt to slap his palm against it. A sting blossoms across the sensitive skin, and I squeak. I spin around, trying to pinch his side again. But his long strides quickly outdo me, and he darts around me, rushing up the rest of the stairs with a gleeful cackle.
“Baby, no man with half a brain has a ten out of ten and doesn’t get a little possessive.”
I’m left to stare at his retreating back in stunned silence. His unexpected praise lights up every endorphin in my brain, a soothing warmth curling around my heart. I blink, shaking myself out of my thoughts before going to my bedroom for a change of clothes.
“Don’t get used to this,” I whisper to myself.
A few minutes later, I’m walking down the winding driveway next to Jax. Our arms nearly brush together as we walk, and I wish I could take his hand in mine. But we agreed—this stays between us. It’s already suspicious that we answered the door half-dressed, but if we walk past the shop holding hands then we might as well scream to the entire town that we’re sleeping together. With any luck, maybe Andrew and Mary will be discreet about what they saw.
My body shivers a little bit, despite my white sweater and fleece-lined leggings. I’m rubbing my hands together for warmth as we come into view of the damaged sign, and Jax groans under his breath. The front of a silver Altima is still resting up against the sign, which is nearly toppling over. Some of the paint has been scratched off, and a few letters are now missing.
“I’m sorry, Jax,” Mary says. Her voice is laced with so much guilt and regret that I can’t help but feel a little sympathy for her.
Jax waves her off. “It’s alright. Accidents happen.” He grins at her, propping a hand on each hip. “If I remember correctly, Luke and I had our fair share of accidents that you had to clean up. Remember that time I dropped an entire bottle of laundry detergent all over your floor?”
Mary’s eyes light up, and she laughs. “How could I forget that! You were helping me carry in groceries when it slipped out of your hand, and the lid popped right off. It made a mess of my floor, and you stood there looking like you wanted to cry. Then Luke walked in behind you and slipped in it!”
Jax releases a quiet huff of laughter, grabbing the back of his neck as his cheeks pinken.
“God, I bet you have so many good stories,” I say to Mary. I can’t keep the silly grin off my face when I imagine Jax as a clumsy, pre-pubescent teenager. It makes me wonder what kind of trouble he got into as a kid. Did he fight with Luke often? Was he a prankster, a class clown, or quiet like he often is as an adult?
“Come over for some sweet tea and brownies sometime, dear, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know.” She lowers her voice into a theatrical whisper. “It’s only right that his girl has plenty of blackmail material to pick from.”
Jax goes still beside me.
“Oh, that’s—I mean, we aren’t—” I stammer.
Mary huffs. “Oh bollocks, I wasn’t born yesterday. Y’all answered the door half-dressed and looking like Christmas came early.”
I cough.
Jax gives her a weary look.
She’s awfully blunt and sassy for someone her age, but I guess I can appreciate that.
“Your secret is safe with me,” Mary assures us. She elbows Andrew in the side. He stumbles backward, releasing a pained wheeze as he clutches at his side. Mary shoots him a glare, and his words come out in a rush.
“I won’t tell anyone either. Jesus, woman. You’re strong as a bull.”
Mary, looking rather pleased by that statement, turns back to Jax. “Just let me know how much I owe you for the sign. I’ll write you a check.”
He shakes his head vehemently, and a look of frustration crosses over Mary’s face. She clearly wants to argue. I turn back to the sign, examining it as they quietly bicker in the background. My heart beats a little faster as an idea comes to me, although I’m reluctant to voice it at first.
“I could fix it for you.”
The words tumble out of my mouth before I give myself a chance to second guess the choice. The bickering pauses, all three heads turning to look at me. I can feel the burn of Jax’s gaze on the side of my face as I continue to stare straight ahead at the crumbling sign. I swallow down a rush of nerves and forge on.
“My dad used to own a woodworking business with my mom,” I explain, for Mary and Andrew’s benefit. My heart squeezes in a vice as painful memories resurface, and I clear my throat. “They taught me everything they know. I can fix it.”
Finally, I look towards the others. Mary’s eyes are soft, Andrew just looks slightly curious, but Jax…I can’t get a good read on him. Whatever he’s feeling or thinking, it’s intense. His unwavering stare makes me feel like an open book. I avert my eyes back to the sign, unable to bear the strength of his gaze.
Maybe he doesn’t want me messing with it. After all, it’s the first thing his customers see when they pull up to his business. Maybe he doesn’t trust me with this project. For some reason, that thought stings.
Finally, Jax speaks, his voice soft. “Are you sure that’s something you want to do? I don’t want to burden you.”
“It’s the least I can do when you’re letting me live here rent free.” I give him a smile, hoping it looks more genuine than it feels. I truly want to do this for him—and maybe some small part of me wants to share a piece of my past, too. Even if he doesn’t understand the full meaning yet. I haven’t touched a piece of wood since my parents died. This was something I shared solely with them. After they passed away, I went into interior design because a piece of my heart will always yearn to make homes feel more…personal. But I stuck to the type of interior design they teach you in college, most of which can be bought at a store. Not made by hand with love.
“I would really appreciate that,” Jax replies. “Whatever you need, just let me know. I’ll make sure to get it.” He looks like he wants to say more, and maybe he would if we weren’t in front of an audience. My shoulders sag a little, a strange sense of relief coursing through me at his easy acceptance.
“Maybe I could use some space in your garage?” I look towards the garage that sits next to Jax’s house. I’ll need somewhere to store the sign when I’m not working on it.
“Of course,” he begins, looking towards Mary. “Just let me take care of her car, and I’ll clear a space out today.”
While he moves the Altima, I trudge back up to the warmth of the house. I’m glad to be alone with my swirling thoughts for a moment. Different design patterns filter through my mind. I could not only fix it, but I could give it a facelift. Something more pleasing to the eye; a design that will grab people’s attention as they drive by. The idea of returning to something I used to share with my parents forms a lump in my throat, a bittersweet dread sitting heavy on my shoulders. But there’s also a low thrum of excitement coursing through me.
And that’s what I hang onto.