Chapter 18
The plan went off without a hitch. At exactly the right time, Shiloh pretended to experience sudden pregnancy pain, and all of the guards flocked to their prince, completely forgetting about Sky, who’d already excused himself to go to the bathroom.
He’d slipped away unnoticed, caught the first bus leaving the mall heading downtown, and then had taken a cab from there so as not to be tracked at the bus stop.
A tentative idea had formed in his mind while he’d been waiting, fake oohing and ahhing with Shiloh over baby clothes, and he’d instructed the cab driver to take him to the first available clinic.
The prognosis hadn’t been good, though.
The doctor on call had taken one glimpse at Sky’s neck and immediately told him there was nothing anyone would be able to do. He’d even gone so far as to suggest Sky talk with his pack, or if things were dire, had tried handing over a card for a care unit that dealt with domestic abuse.
When Sky corrected him and said the marks had all been made by the same alpha, that he wasn’t part of a pack romance, the doctor looked about ready to call for help himself.
He should have let him. Having a professional back him up would have been beneficial, and yet for some reason, Sky had excused himself and gotten out of there.
Which was how he’d ended up standing in front of the police station at midnight. It was chilly, cold enough his sweatshirt wasn’t enough to keep the chill from seeping through to lick at his skin, but Sky hardly noticed, too caught up in his head.
Did he go inside, or not?
From where he stood just at the foot of the stairs leading up to the entrance, he could see a man in uniform seated behind a long counter. All Sky had to do was walk in there and make a report. Name Kian. Say he wanted to press charges.
It didn’t matter that the Erskines were friends with the Imperial family, or that Kian was the Dominus of the Eumia mafia. Wrong was wrong. What he’d done to Sky went against every law on planet. It was vile and cruel. Evil.
His foot slid forward an inch, but he froze, unable to go any further.
This was Kian he was talking about. Kian, the guy he’d been obsessed with for practically as long as he could remember.
Kian, who’d wronged him.
Kian, who’d held him close just last night.
The one who’d whispered how things would get better in Sky’s ear.
Adoration was a fucked-up thing. It twisted logic and messed with reason. Simply because Sky’s brain had spent the past however many years coveting Kian, he couldn’t shake that mindset, no matter what the alpha put him through.
Sky was stuck. Trapped by his own wishful thinking.
Kian used to be everything he’d wanted, but now he didn’t know. He didn’t know his own heart. Couldn’t trust his own mind. How much of this yearning was because of the pheromones the alpha had flooded into his system during the mating? How much of it was really even him?
Sky squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled, trying to calm his frazzled nerves, but his mind didn’t get any clearer, and he still couldn’t bring himself to walk up those stairs and go into the station. Potential salvation was right there and yet…
He didn’t want it.
“What’s wrong with me?” he whispered to himself, the loathing and hatred aimed his own way causing him to clench his jaw and grind his molars.
His knowledge about the mafia was limited. The Eumia were based on Synastry, not Glyph, so there’d never really been a reason for him to care all that much. Even if Kian was relocating and bringing the organization here, he had the backing of the Imperial family. He’d mentioned they had a plan.
He’d also been upfront about what he’d been doing all these years.
It was Sky who hadn’t asked for more specific details.
A part of him had known there was no way for Kian to have taken down an illegal trafficking ring on his own, even with the help of Arbor and Avi.
If he were being one hundred percent honest, he’d simply been too afraid to ask.
He’d wanted to focus on himself and his own dilemma.
But if Kian had really put a stop to something that vile…What did that make him? Was he still the villain of the story? Did it mean Sky could forgive him for all the bad things he’d done?
How many rights undid a wrong?
Did it matter what other people would think of him if he rolled over and accepted Kian’s claim? This was Glyph. Choice mattered. Choice was a given. Anyone who had that taken away deserved pity and protection.
On Synastry, being chosen by a strong alpha of Kian’s stature would be considered an honor.
Sky’s darker fantasies, his attraction to the masked man, and to Kian’s aggression…those things would be celebrated and complimented.
But he was Glyphian. His parents were Glyphian. His friends…
It was like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, unable to discern his own mind.
Either he wanted the alpha of his own volition, or the alpha’s pheromones had forced this reaction on him.
Either he was afraid to accept Kian because he found his desires disgusting, or his fear of what society would think was what held him back.
Things had always been black or white for Sky.
There’d never been any pushback. The real worst thing to ever happen to him had been Kian leaving for the Academy.
That was it. Not even the fact that he’d lost his virginity to a masked stranger.
Being separated from the alpha he’d admired from the sidelines had gutted him.
Coming at this from an emotional place wasn’t working. He needed to approach it rationally.
The doctor had already explained his mating claims couldn’t be undone. Sky was stuck with them. Even if he went into the station and reported Kian, he’d have those marks for life.
There was a very real chance Arbor and Avi would bail Kian out, and there would be no consequences. On the opposite side of that coin, his alpha would be livid at Sky for running and reporting him. Sky would be the only one made to suffer.
Would Kian punish him?
Hurt him?
…No.
The thought was like a rush of ice water on a hot summer day.
Kian would never hurt him. The mating bites were one thing, necessary for an alpha to claim a mate, and sure, sex was often rough.
It hurt, but in a way that ignited all of Sky’s nerve endings and sent him careening straight into the stratosphere of pleasure.
No one had ever made Sky feel the way the alpha did.
No one ever would.
Sky couldn’t do it.
He didn’t want to do it.
“I fucking hate myself,” the words were uttered just under his breath, and he was turning away from the station before he could second-guess his decision all over again. But he only made it a single step forward before grinding to a halt.
Kian was propped up against the side of a black hovercar, his arms crossed, his expression unreadable.
He’d parked across the lot, a safe enough distance away that Sky could probably make a run for it if he really wanted.
The two of them stared at each other, motionless for a stretch of time, as though waiting to see who would react first.
But of course it was Sky.
With a sigh, he trudged forward, heading straight to the waiting alpha, who was way better prepared for the weather.
Kian was wearing a long black peacoat over a dark three-piece suit. He must have come from a meeting with someone important. It made Sky wonder if he’d even bothered searching for him the eight or so hours Sky had been missing, or if he’d only just found out he was even gone.
He certainly didn’t look like a guy who’d frantically hunted the city for his lost mate.
Sky scowled. Here he was, freaking out about potentially leaving, listing all the reasons he should, and yet his alpha didn’t seem to give two shits one way or the other.
Kian didn’t do anything when Sky finally reached him. Didn’t extend a hand or speak. He merely stood there, eyes locked on his, gaze unwavering.
Sky took a brief second to try and figure out what would be best for him, holding onto his annoyance or doing damage control, and settled on the latter. With a heavy sigh, he stepped forward, straight into Kian, and dropped his head onto the guy’s left shoulder.
“I’m cold,” he admitted, and he could see a puff of his own breath leave his lips.
The alpha unfolded his arms and hugged him.
“I want to go home,” Sky said. He didn’t mean the penthouse over the club.
But he wasn’t referring to his apartment, which he shared with Elm, either.
He didn’t want to see other people. After a long day of running around, only to come to the pathetic conclusion he didn’t even want to go anywhere, Sky wanted to seclude himself somewhere he felt safe.
“Get in the car,” Kian said softly. “I’ll take you.”
“Kian.”
“Trust me, Sky.” He combed his fingers through Sky’s hair and then turned them, pulling open the passenger side door.
Sky slipped in, the warmth from the heat that’d been left on immediately cradling him. He’d been so stressed out, he almost fell asleep, wrapped in the familiar scent of his alpha and the newfound warmth.
Kian got in, and maybe Sky really did doze off, because when he blinked his eyes open, they were no longer outside the station.
His studio loomed out his window, and he almost sobbed seeing it.
“Hold on.” Kian undid his belt and then got out first, coming around the car to help Sky. Then he took his hand and led him to the side entrance they’d used the last time they’d been there.
Sky was so relieved not to have been taken back to the penthouse, he didn’t even question how he’d gotten the keys when the alpha took them out and unlocked the door.
Stepping inside felt oddly like going back in time.
His gaze landed on the table where he’d woken only two weeks ago, feeling guilty for affecting Kian with his pheromones.
How ironic, all things considered. It was such a little transgression in comparison to everything the alpha had done to him since.