9. James
“Mama told me you’ve got a little girlfriend,” Jasmine commented as we headed back to her crib.
Rose was in the back seat knocked out. She’d had a fun day with Uncle James. We went to the carnival, the mall, and a food truck for tacos. They’d spent a nice check on the outing, but I didn’t mind. The smile on her face was enough to make me spend my whole savings account on her.
Every moment I spent with Rose, I pictured what my kids with Brielle would be like. If my niece, sister, and mother got whatever they wanted out of me, I couldn’t even imagine the chokehold my offspring would have.
“I’m going to marry this girl, Jas.”
“Wow. Are you sure? It wasn’t too long ago you and Celeste were falling out. Don’t you think you’re moving too fast?”
“No. I’m not moving fast enough actually.”
Jasmine’s lips pulled up into a smirk. Then, with a high-pitched teasing tone, she replied, “Aww, brother. You’re in deep, ain’t ya?”
“Deep as hell. I can’t imagine my life without Brielle in it.”
“Okay! So when do I get to meet my future sister-in-law?”
“In due time. I’m ready for y’all to meet, but she’s nervous. It’ll happen soon though.”
“That’s good. Can I see her page?”
I chuckled. “Her pages are Jana’s Jewels.”
Jasmine gasped. “Get out of here! No way you’re dating that Brielle. I freaking love her content. I’ve been following her for about three months. One of her videos went viral, and I binged her content. It was cool to see local places I know get recognition on the internet.”
“Damn, small world.”
“Tiny world. I ain’t even know you were her type. Now that I know you got the contact, I need you to put in a good word about my small business.”
“Jasmine, what fuckin’ business do you have?”
“You know I do lashes, James. Don’t piss me off.”
“You don’t even take that shit seriously. When you get a website and stop doing social media DMs for clientele, maybe I’ll connect y’all.”
She frowned. “Fine. I will lock in and get shit done.”
“Thank you.”
“So, tell me about her. How do you know she’s the one?” Jasmine asked as she turned her body to get a full look at me. I pulled into her driveway and put the car in park.
“It’s a feeling I can’t describe. My heart races and my soul smiles when she’s around me. My palms sweat while my body relaxes when she touches me. She makes me feel safe and secure. I can let my guard down and be free when I’m with her.”
Jasmine covered her chest and cooed. “Aww! My big brother is in love!”
“I really am.”
“I love this for you. I’m patiently waiting for my turn.”
“Put yourself out there and be open to heartbreak and healing. I went through that shit with Celeste, but I didn’t let it break me or scare me away from trying again with someone else. Dating can be scary, especially for women, but be vigilant, vulnerable, and open to love.”
Jasmine nodded. “It’s easier said than done. There are so many men who pretend to be everything we want and need in a partner and they show their true colors when we’re in too deep.”
“Just know, I’m gon’ always be here for you. Let a nigga break your heart, and I’ll break his jaw. Let a nigga think he can play with your feelings, and I’ll have his mama asking his cousin to photoshop him in front of them ghetto ass clouds. You’ve got a protector in me.”
Jasmine wiped at her teary eyes. “Thank you, James.”
“Any time, big head.”
My mood was light. I couldn’t wait to have Brielle back in my arms after the long day I’d had with my family. As I neared my house, I noticed a familiar car parked on the street. There was no way in hell the owner was at my place.
I parked in the driveway, hopped out, and smiled at the sight of Brielle on the front porch. I took in her appearance. She had on one of the mumus I’d bought her. I grabbed the bags from the passenger seat, and my smile fell into a deep frown. What the fuck was Celeste doing here?”
I closed my eyes and took several calming breaths. Before I could speak to Brielle, she excused herself back into the house. My gaze landed on Celeste. She looked a mess but still wore the expensive shit she loved to blow money on.
“Celeste, what the fuck are you doing here?” I asked in a calm tone. She was still in the postpartum phase, and I didn’t want to push her over the edge.
“James, I need help. I’m drowning. My family isn’t helping me?—”
“Hold on. None of that is my problem. You chose to cheat on me. You fucked so many men you don’t know who the father is. That ain’t nobody fault but yours. I do not have anything to give you.”
“So, you’re just going to push me away?” she asked in disbelief. Her tone was louder than it should have been which caused the baby in her arms to cry.
“You know what they call that? Fucking around and finding out. You fucked around—literally—and you’re finding out what the consequences of your actions are.
Kids aren’t toys. They are living, breathing, human beings who need constant love, support, and patience.
You gave your pussy to any nigga who smiled your way, and now you need to make some tough decisions. ”
“Can’t you just?—”
“No! I’m not doing shit for you. You lost access to me when you gave your pussy to other niggas.
All I can tell you is to put your baby up for adoption and seek mental help.
Ain’t shit I’m doing for you, so forget it.
I’m building something with someone new.
You had a chance to get all this love, and you fucked it up. ”
“James, please! I’m begging you.”
“The child isn’t my responsibility. It’s disrespectful as fuck to pop up at my house on this type of bullshit.
You better go to a church, a fire station, or hell at this point.
If you can’t handle motherhood, give your baby to someone who can.
The least you can do for being an irresponsible mother is doing the right thing for your child. ”
Celeste hung her head as she cradled her baby in her arms. “Fine.”
“I pray you get what you deserve. I pray your child finds a home she can live happily in. Sell some of those designer fits you have to afford a nanny or something.”
Celeste shook her head and walked down the path to her car.
I waited on the porch and watched her buckle the baby in the car seat, get into the driver’s seat, and cry.
I felt bad for her, but it was bigger than me.
Asking me to take care of a child that wasn’t mine was the dumbest shit she could have done.
I’m a cool as nigga until somebody does some grimy shit to me.
Celeste not only cheated on me, but she got pregnant by another man.
She cheated so many times during that ovulation window it was like a slap in the face when we took the early detection DNA test and the results came back with a big fat ass not the father announcement.
The only person I felt bad for was the daughter she had.
I prayed Celeste did the right thing for her child.
I shook my head and entered the house. My eyes landed on Brielle, who had her duffel on her shoulder. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked at me and bit down on her bottom lip.
“Brielle, where are you going?” I asked cautiously. I placed the bags in my hand on the tiled floor near the door. I took a step further inside the room and closed the front door.
“Move, James.”
“I will when you tell me what’s going on in your mind.”
“I can’t be with a deadbeat daddy or a man who hides his kids.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
I laughed out loud. The sound resonated from my core. “I’m not a deadbeat daddy. I don’t have no fucking kids.”
“Then who was that outside? Celeste literally told me you were her baby daddy. Said you’ve ignored her and the baby for months.”
“Celeste is a fuckin’ liar. She’s mad because she cheated on me and I cut her off when I found out the baby wasn’t mine.”
“How do I believe you, James?” She dropped her arms in defeat. The sadness in her orbs made my heart ache.
“Hold on. I’m a lot of things but a deadbeat ain’t one of them.
I was with Celeste for a couple of years.
She cheated on me so much when she got the DNA results she couldn’t even give the coordinator a solid second possibility.
” I pulled out my phone and tapped the screen a few times.
I opened my email to find the DNA results and the date I received them.
I held out my phone for her to read the email.
“Oh . . . Wow! James, I-I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Your feelings were valid. I don’t know why you believed her lies, but I’ll be damned if I let my past ruin the future I’m trying to build with you.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m so sorry. My emotions are all over the place. I just . . . I have a fear of heartbreak. I was ready to run.”
“I would never hurt you, baby. I told you I love you and I mean that shit. Ain’t nothing but death gonna keep me from loving you.”
“Baby.” Her cries were silent as I pulled her into a tight embrace. I held her until her sobs calmed into a soft whimper.
“I got you, Brielle. Always and forever.”
She clung to me for a long moment. When she finally pulled away, she looked up at me with sad eyes.
“I think I should go back to my place and get a reset.”
I nodded. “I understand. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. A good reset will do us both some good. Do you want to enjoy an early dinner before you go?”
“I’ll probably pick up something on the way home. I just need some air and some space.”
“Okay. Let me take your bag to the car for you.”
“I got it?—”
“Baby, please. Let me do this for you and make sure you get to your car safely.”
“Fine.”
I picked up the duffel and walked her to her car. I opened the driver’s door for her, and she climbed in. I placed her bag in the back seat before I leaned against the window and puckered my lips.
“I hate that you’re leaving me, but I know the time apart will be good for us. It’ll give you time to process your emotions after such a rollercoaster of events. I love you.”
She pouted. “I love you too, James. You’re perfect.”
“I’m not perfect by any means, but I think we’re perfect for each other. A beautiful balance.”
“Something like that. I’ll text you when I make it back to my side of town.” She brought her car to life. “You put gas in my car?”
“Yeah. I know you had run some errands the other day. I wanted to make sure you were good if you needed to go anywhere else. Let me know how much your dinner is, so I can pay for it.”
She shook her head. “Thank you. You do so much for me. You don’t have to?—”
“Brielle.”
“Fine.”
“Good.” I pecked her lips several times before I patted the hood of her car. She backed out of the driveway and sped off down the street.
If my lady would not be home, then I was going to take up an extra shift at the club. I’d grown so accustomed to her being by my side, it would be weird to go to sleep without her in the bed.