Chapter 2
2
Willow
I read through all the new messages, adding my little comments here and there, liking pictures that people have posted of themselves in their Devil’s gear. I keep scrolling, looking for any new roommate postings. There are a couple, but all of them are posted by guys— which is never going to happen. I can’t even speak to a boy, let alone live with one.
“Willow, sweetie.”
I nearly jump in my chair, my heart lodging in my throat at the sound of my mom’s voice.
“Sorry, sweetie. Didn’t mean to startle you.” She enters my room slowly, tiptoeing like she’s afraid I’ll spook again. Wow, she looks pretty all dressed up. It’s been a while since she’s worn a dress or makeup. But her brow is now crinkled in worry and her red lips are dipped down in concern.
“I-i-it-t-t’s o-k-k-k-ay.” My words come out rougher than usual, but that’s because my heart hasn’t quite made its way back to its home yet.
“Just take a deep breath, sweetie.”
I breathe in and hold it for five seconds, then release it on a count of ten, feeling my nerves starting to settle.
“B-b-better.” My word comes out smoother this time, and the creases around her eyes soften.
“You were really focused on that.” She looks toward my computer screen. “You usually don’t scare so easily.”
“I-I was sc-c-c-rolling through the m-message board looking for new roommate p-p-postings.” I really don’t want to get stuck being paired with someone next year. I’m liable to be placed with a sorority girl who will treat me like dirt.
“Any luck yet?”
“N-n-not y-y-y-yet.” My nerves are still rattled, but I think that’s because of the thought of having to live with a stranger next year. I’m just hoping I can meet someone nice online, and that by the time I get there, I’ll be comfortable enough with them to be able to form a sentence.
“Well, you have plenty of time.” She nods reassuringly. “I just came to let you know that your dad and I are heading out now. Dinner is downstairs when you get hungry. And I already gave Bitsy Boo her dinner, so you don’t have to feed her.”
As if my sweet little kitty was just announced to the royal court, she comes strutting in like a little princess, rubbing up against both of our legs before she goes over and jumps up onto my bed. She curls up in a little ball right on my pillow. Her favorite spot in the house.
“Th-th-thanks, M-m-mom.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself?” She’s looking more nervous now because I’m still struggling so much with my words. “You could still come with us if you want to.”
The last place I want to be is at a charity event in a room filled with people. The crowds. The noise. The way people look at me when I open my mouth to speak… Yeah, I’m definitely good with staying home and playing video games tonight.
“I-I-I’m eigh-t-t-teen, M-m-mom. I’ll b-b-be ff-fine.”
It’s not like I’m five years old and will let a random stranger into the house. I won’t even answer the door if someone rings the doorbell. But she still sees me as a little girl who she doesn’t think is capable of defending herself. Or screaming for help in an emergency. I’ll be honest, sometimes it makes me feel inadequate and insecure with how worried she gets. But my speech therapist told me that I need to think of things from her perspective. She just wants to protect me from the cruelties in the world. All she’s trying to do is keep me safe. It’s her mother’s love, not the fact that she thinks I’m weak or incapable of taking care of myself.
“Okay, sweetie. Well, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call us. And make sure you keep the alarm on.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes, reminding myself that one day when I’m a mother, I’ll probably be just as protective of my daughter too. I should be thankful I have two parents who love me so much they want to keep me safe. Which is why I smile.
“I w-w-will, M-m-mom. L-l-love y-y-you. Have f-fun t-t-tonight.” I want to tell her how beautiful she looks, but I’m already exhausted from talking. That fright really rattled my nerves, and my current state is rattling my mom’s.
“Okay, sweetie. Love you.”
She blows me a kiss on her way out the door and I take another deep breath, breathing out to the count of ten as I return my attention back to my computer screen. I start scrolling through the message board again, pausing when I see a username I don’t recognize. There must be a new member in the group. And it’s a girl. Win win!
Bren2025RB: Hey! New here. Getting psyched for next year. Go Devils! Curious if there are any other gamers in the mix? I’m a Kanturia nerd. Anyone else in here play?
I do! Kanturia is one of my favorite video games. That must be what the RB in her username stands for. Bren must be short for Brenna or Brenda. Twenty twenty-five is obviously our graduation year, and I’m guessing the RB stands for Rogue Borg. I almost have the exact same username. Will2025TE. Will is short for Willow and the TE is because I’m a Tyrant Exile, which is only a few levels above her in the game. But the fact that she made it to Borg level means she’s really good.
Me: Go Devils! Good to meet another Kanturian on here. I was beginning to think I was the only one who played. LOL. BTW, did you see the Serpent skin that’s in the merchant today? I’m on the fence about whether or not to get it. Do you think they’ll bring it back for the holiday sale?
I have enough Kanturian coin to buy it, but I always have a hard time pulling the trigger because I never know if something better will be in the store tomorrow. But the Serpent skin is pretty awesome. If they aren’t going to bring it back for the Black Friday special, I might regret not getting it.
Bren2025RB: I haven’t heard whether it will come back or not, but it’s pretty sweet. I couldn’t resist the slithering sword. It just took out the Zenith with two strikes, so I personally think it’s worth it. But if you’re already past my level, it might not be as valuable.
Two strikes? That’s amazing. It took me nearly an entire week to get past that creature.
Me: That’s incredible. I’m definitely getting it then. It took me an entire week to wipe out the Zenith. That’s time I would like to get back. BTW, when you get to the Phoenix level, I have a trick. Took it out in three tries.
Bren2025RB: Three tries?? No way! Everyone says that’s the hardest level. People were talking in the chat about how it took them months. Dude, that’s pro skills. Definitely need to know your genius.
I’m smiling wide, feeling excited by the compliment. I never get called a genius, that’s for sure. A blubbering idiot. The Sped Queen. Loser. The Sputtering Carburetor. Those are the things people usually say about me.
Me: I used the dragon skin and lit the nest on fire. Then I waited on top of the black rock. (You’ll see it when you get to the level.) Once the Phoenix took flight to make its escape, I struck it in the chest with a silver arrow, which immobilized the thing. Then I shot it with an arrow of fire and let it burn. I can’t take credit for knowing that silver is its kryptonite. Someone in the forum told me. But the fire was my idea to lure it out. The first two attempts, I accidentally lit myself on fire. But then I finally figured out the angle.
Bren2025RB: Nice! That’s badass. I’ll definitely be using that. So, what have you picked up so far in here? Any tips on course schedules? Professors to avoid? I want to be in the know.
I’ve kept a running list of what people have been posting, but only when it pertains to the classes I need for my major. I’ve also written down what dorm buildings to avoid, although, at this point, it sounds like that’s all of them. Which has me seriously hoping I can meet a nice girl and get an apartment with her. My parents aren’t too keen on the idea because they like safety in numbers, but they also understand how nervous I get in crowds so they’re okay with me moving off campus.
Me: What’s your major? I’ve gotten a couple names to avoid in the English department.
Bren2025RB: Communications. So, please give me all the names. I know I’ll have to take all the English prerequisites for sure, so definitely don’t want to get stuck with any hard-asses. What’s your major, BTW?
Me: I’ve heard to stay away from Professor Drake. Everyone recommends Chapman instead. I’m going into Speech Pathology, so we’ll have a lot of crossover of classes at the beginning. Thankfully, we have some time to figure out our schedules. People have been recommending to take English lit on the three day schedule (M, W, F) because you get extra time to write your papers.
Bren2025RB: That’s a good tip. I could definitely use extra time for writing papers. How come you picked Speech Pathology?
So that I can gain more of an understanding of why I am the way I am. I want to understand where my speech issues stem from and how to fix the wiring of my brain. Plus, I’d really like to help others who struggle with their speech. My goal is to work with kids when I graduate and help them overcome their insecurities. Help free them of their fears and boost their confidence so they can go after their dreams. And maybe I can find some of my own confidence in the process.
Living with my stutter, practically muted by my nerves most of the time, has made everything a challenge. There have been so many things I’ve wanted to do, but my disability has stopped me. For example, I could never be a cheerleader or enter the spelling bee or sing in the chorus, which was always a dream of mine because I love music so much. But only when I’m alone in my room or in the car can I sing a song with ease. In public, up on stage with all those people watching, my voice would crack on every note and I’d be laughed off stage. If I can help even just one kid to not have to face the same struggles, I would feel fulfilled.
But this is not exactly what I want to lead with, with the girl I just met. She seems nice, and she likes Kanturia. Besides, I don’t need any guys logging on, reading what I’ve written and then making fun of me. I get enough of that from the boys at my school.
Me: It’s just something that’s always interested me. And I know some people with speech issues, so it hits close to home. Why’d you choose Communications?
Bren2025RB: That’s cool. I actually volunteer with some special needs camps, so I have mad respect for anyone in the field. I’m going with Communications because I figure it will be useful for all aspects of my life. All the media interviews I plan on doing. LOL. So, what’s your favorite football team?
Football? Okay, talk about a subject change. And a random one at that, except she must’ve seen one of my comments to one of the guys about the Devils’ game this weekend. I happen to be obsessed with the sport, partly because it’s always been my special thing with my dad. From the time I was a little girl, we’d watch the games together on the weekends. Then every year for my birthday, Dad takes me to see a game. I could talk football for hours if you let me, but I’ve never met another girl who likes to talk about it. Especially not a gamer. I was picturing her as a goth chick, but now my image is changing a little. Morphing into someone more like myself. Someone a little nerdy who dresses a little tomboyish, but loves the color pink.
Me: Gotta go with my home team: the Cowboys. And obviously the Sun Devils for college ball, though the Longhorns were always my favorite growing up. But here’s hoping the Devils go to the bowl this year. That would make our freshman year epic.
Bren2025RB: Damn straight it would. So, what part of Texas are you from? I’m homegrown, too.
Me: I’m from Fort Worth. You?
Bren2025RB: Small world. I’m right outside Dallas. We’ve probably played you guys before. Ever heard of Stetson?
Of course I’ve heard of Stetson. Who hasn’t? That’s where all the rich kids go to school. Like, seriously rich. Now, I’m a bit intimidated. I’m also shocked that she’s ever heard of Kanturia. I assumed rich girls would be into boys and makeup, spending their time on social media doing eyeliner tutorials, not playing video games. Just goes to show I shouldn’t buy into stereotypes and make assumptions about people. Heaven knows people have made their assumptions about me. They think because I have to have modifications in the classroom and struggle with my speech that I’m stupid. They call me “special” and not in the good sense of the word.
Me: I don’t think anyone hasn’t heard of your school. LOL. I’m about 20 minutes away from you. I go to Lovett. Wow, it’s a small world.
It’s crazy to think that she lives so close to me. We could’ve crossed paths at some point and not even known it. Passed each other in a Target aisle. Been in line together at the grocery store.
CarsonKeginator: Yo! I go to Bryerson. We’re playing Stetson next week. We’re gonna kick your ass.
Looks like another local has logged on. I know Bryerson, too. Our school will be playing them in a few weeks. Crazy that all these kids from around here will be at the same college next year. Then again, ASU tends to be where a lot of Texans go if they don’t get into UT. It’s not that I didn’t get in, it’s that I was hoping for a fresh start. A few less familiar evil faces.
I’m guessing by this guy’s username that he’s into drinking. Not that I have a problem with that, but parties are definitely not my scene. A bunch of drunken guys being loud and rowdy gives me hives. Plus, I have a hard time speaking on a good day; I can’t imagine how hard it would be for me under the influence of alcohol.
Bren2025RB: Wouldn’t be holding your breath on that win. But good luck. ;) Will you be playing for the Sun Devils?
Bren’s response has me smiling. I like her already. And I love the fact that she likes football.
CarsonKeginator: No. I didn’t make the team. Fuckers are going to regret their decision. I’m the best running back in the state.
And this is where I tune out. This guy sounds a little arrogant. I get that it’s a pride thing, that he doesn’t want to look bad in front of us girls, but he’s just lost my interest. I’m more interested in talking about Kanturia, and when I see Bren’s message pop up on the screen, I can tell she is too.
Bren2025RB: Hey, Will! Do you want to message me your gamer name and I’ll friend you so we can play?
Me: It’s the same username as this one. I’ll go log in now.