Chapter 16
16
Brennon
S he’s being awfully quiet. I know parties are not her scene, but it feels like something’s wrong. I’ve never seen her this nervous before.
“Come on, babe. Let’s go find somewhere quiet to talk.”
I take Willow’s hand and lead her through the kitchen and into the great room, but there’s not much of a reprieve from the noise. The hallway isn’t much quieter either, so I head toward the back door leading to the pool.
“Bren! Come play with us, man!” Rickman calls out as we’re passing by the dining room. He and a bunch of kids are setting up a game of beer pong. “We need you on our team. You’re the pro.” I rub my fingers through the hair on the nape of my neck, feeling foolish for the gazillionth time tonight. All night, I’ve had to steer her clear of conversations where the guys were trying to embarrass me. I don’t want her thinking I’m some kind of chugging king who likes to party all the time.
“Not tonight, man.” I gesture towards Willow. “Got my girl with me.”
“Dude, don’t be a wet blanket,” he jests. “She can play too. You want to join us, pretty girl?”
I look toward Willow, checking to see if she’s interested, but all signs point to a negative. She looks like she wants to bolt and is trying to pull out of my hold.
“Y-y-you c-c-can p-p-play…”
I shake my head, looking back toward Rickman. “We’re all set, man. You guys have fun.” There’s no way I’m making her any more uncomfortable than she already is, nor am I leaving her to the pack of wolves. “By the way, I’ve got a twenty on you, Rickman, so make sure you represent.”
I take Willow’s hand again and continue to the back door. Her palm is sweaty, and she’s barely squeezing mine back anymore. She’s not enjoying any of this. I know it’s not her scene, but I think if she just let her guard down a little, she’d have fun. My friends are pretty cool to hang with and none of them care about her speech. The only thing they’ve been shocked about all night is the fact that I have a girlfriend.
“You know, beer pong is kind of fun,” I tell her as I open the back door. “You can play and not drink if you don’t want to. Sometimes, I’ll chug water or soda. The burps are bad though.” I chuckle, but she doesn’t think it’s funny. Great, now she’s going to think I’m the belching king. Smooth, Brennon. Real smooth.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I lead her outside, taking in a breath of fresh air to calm my nerves. “You seem upset tonight.”
“Y-y…” Her mouth closes and she gives up. Her eyes drop to the ground, and I can feel her spirit deflating. I lean forward and tip her chin up, pressing my lips to hers. Usually, I can calm her down. Kiss her until her words come out smooth. But she’s pulling back from me, looking even sadder now. “You should go hang out with your friends. I’m going to go.”
It’s the first time her words have come out clear all night, but that’s not what I wanted to hear.
“I don’t want to hang out with my friends, babe. I want to spend time with you. Can you tell me what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you struggle so much with your words.” She can text me if she wants to. I just want to know why she’s so nervous to talk to me.
“I-I-I’m s-s-sor-ry.”
I shake my head, dropping my head so we’re eye level. She doesn’t need to apologize. “Don’t apologize, babe. I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong.”
“I-I-I j-j-just w-w-want t-t-to g-g-go h-h-home.”
I don’t fucking get it.
“Are you mad at me?”
She doesn’t answer. And I can’t tell if it’s because she can’t speak or if it’s because she doesn’t want to tell me that she is.
“I’m sorry I pressured you into coming tonight. I just really wanted you to meet my friends. But that was probably a bad idea.” They’re all painting me out to look like a drunken meathead. That’s probably why she wants to leave.
Her face drops again. I feel like I haven’t done or said anything right all night. Maybe I should just cut my losses, and talk to her tomorrow, log onto Kanturia and remind her of who I really am.
“Okay, babe. I’ll walk you out.”
Every step towards her car is heavy and feels weighted down with dread. I’m trying to think of something to say. Some way to fix this. I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve always been confident and sure in everything I do. But I’m fucking clueless right now. I don’t know what she’s thinking. All I know is that she doesn’t want to be around me anymore.
We get to her car and there’s nothing but this omnipresent silence hanging between us.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have a good time tonight, babe.” She turns to open her door, not refuting the fact. “Will you call me when you get home?”
She nods then quickly climbs in. No kiss good night. No hug. Nothing.
“Why can’t you talk to me, baby?” My question comes out a little harsh, but my nerves are gripping my vocal cords and making me panic. I just want her to tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it and make sure I never do it again.
“Please.” She pushes her watery whisper out and my heart breaks. She wants me to close the door and let her leave. She wants to drive away from me. But I don’t want to let her go. I feel like I’ll never see her again.
“Can I come with you?”
The shake of her head stabs the dagger deeper into my chest.
“I j-j-just n-n-need s-s-some t-t-time.”
Time for what? To decide whether she’s going to break up with me? If she needs time to recover from whatever upset her tonight, I can do that. I’ll give her a few hours and then text her. But there’s no way I can handle her walking away from me.
“Okay, babe.” The words I love you almost leave my lips, but I don’t want to say them when she’s upset. I want to say them when she’s smiling at me. When her eyes are glowing with happiness. Or maybe I’m just too afraid that she won’t say them back. “Call or text me when you get home so I know you made it okay.”
I shut her car door and watch as she pulls out. And I’m pretty sure those are tears running down her face as she turns onto the road. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I head straight to my truck, wishing I hadn’t brought her tonight. I knew she hated parties. I knew she was nervous about talking to people, and yet, I kept pushing.