Chapter 3
3
H e was waiting to hear back from contractors about the plumbing and wiring, but that didn’t mean Logan had to sit back and do nothing in the meantime. Now that he’d done the initial work of going through the house and determining what needed to be fixed, it was time to roll up his sleeves and actually do the things he could.
Logan borrowed Aunt Betty’s car, and within minutes, he was strolling the aisles of the local hardware shop, looking for projects he could do that Erin hadn’t already taken care of. He filled his cart with house numbers, a new doorbell, and was comparing the prices of water heaters when he heard a male voice calling his name.
It had been a decade since he’d heard that voice, but he’d recognized it immediately. With it came a flood of memories from high school. Vandalizing the rival high school, shoplifting from the corner store, reckless driving. Logan held back a groan as he turned toward the person flagging him down. The guy standing in front of him had been the guy who had pushed teenage Logan to do things Aunt Betty and Erin disapproved of—and he looked different.
“I thought that was you,” Ellis said, a warm smile on his face. He pointed to his chest. “It’s Ellis, Ellis Wilson.”
Stunned, Logan just nodded.
The man standing before him was clean cut, his blond hair trimmed close to his head. He wore a polo and khakis, and a gold band adorned his ring finger. Ellis noticed the way Logan stared at his left hand and chuckled. “I know, right? Who would have thought this is where I’d be?”
Not Logan, that was for sure.
“What can I say,” Ellis continued. “I found Jesus, got married, started a family, and now I spend my free time working on the honey-do list.” He held up a slip of paper with delicate scribbling on it. “The wife wants planters beneath her windows.”
“That’s ... ” Logan was dumbstruck by the turn Ellis’s life had taken. “That’s great.”
“It is.” Ellis leaned in. “I know guys all joke about getting shackled by their wives, but there’s nobody I’d rather spend my life with than Anne Marie. She’s one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
Logan looked at the smile on Ellis’s face, and it was clear that he really believed that. He wanted to be happy for him, but he felt the sting of jealousy instead. The hollowness in his chest ached, a dull pain that had haunted him ever since he left Frostford. It wasn’t just the pain of leaving Erin and his best friend behind. He’d also been running from God for the past decade. Every time he heard someone mention going to church or reading the Bible, he tried to turn the conversation away as quickly as possible, afraid that God would somehow find him if his thoughts lingered for too long. He’d convinced himself that he could hide if he kept enough distance between himself and anything relating to the Lord.
“Anyway, I heard you were back in town,” Ellis said, shaking his head. “But I didn’t believe it.”
Even though Ellis had obviously matured while Logan was away, it looked like gossip and news still spread through small towns faster than the speed of light.
Logan shrugged, still struggling to reconcile the Ellis standing in front of him with the one from his memory. “Aunt Betty asked me to help her fix up the old house.”
Ellis looked down at the contents of Logan’s cart. “It’s not that bad, is it? I’ve always thought Aunt Betty did a good job of keeping it looking nice. Plus, I’ve heard Erin is doing her part to clean it up.”
Even though it was obvious that Ellis didn’t mean any harm by that comment, the fact that he knew more about Erin than Logan did rankled.
Ellis leaned back on his heels. “So, what’s the plan? Fix it up and then head back to Chicago?”
“Uh, not exactly. Aunt Betty is ready to sell and I’ve got a job lined up in Florida.” Logan wasn’t sure why he volunteered the info, but there was no taking it back now.
Ellis’s eyes widened. “Florida? That’s a big change from Colorado. At least you’ll get away from all the snow.”
Logan shrugged. “I actually don’t mind the snow. I have a feeling I’ll miss seasons once I’m down there.”
Ellis let out a hearty laugh. “I bet you won’t miss shoveling the driveway and scraping ice off windshields.”
Ellis made a good point. Logan didn’t like those aspects of winter weather, but that was only a small part of the season. Winter came with its own wonders. He loved waking up to a fresh blanket of snow on the ground. He loved watching snowflakes dance in the air. He loved the colder weather and starting fires. Even though it was summer now,he knew these were all things he would miss when he moved and wouldn’t get to experience it again.
But he knew he needed a fresh start, and this job would give him that. He also knew how much Aunt Betty loved warmer weather and he hoped that her happiness would stop him from longing for Colorado—for longing for Erin.
The two men chatted for a few minutes and Logan felt off-balance hearing all of the ways Ellis’s life had changed. The Lord had really transformed his life. The once rebellious teen seemed to be the ideal husband and father. Logan was thrilled for him, he really was, but it was also overwhelming. When there was a break in conversation, Logan quickly said, “I think I need to get going.”
“Me too,” Ellis said, looking down at his watch. “I’m sure Anne Marie is wondering why I’m taking so long.”
“It was really great to see you though.”
“You too.” Ellis’s face lit up. “You know what? Why don’t you come over for dinner sometime?”
Logan hesitated. He wouldn’t be in town for long. As happy as he was to see that Ellis was doing well, he didn’t have time to develop old friendships.
“Anne Marie is a great cook. She makes the best fried chicken.”
His stomach growled at the idea of home cooking. Before he could stop himself, he said, “Sounds good.”
“Great.” Ellis patted Logan’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to my wife and let you know when there’s a good night. The kids keep our schedules busy with t-ball and ballet, but we’ll figure it out.”
They said their goodbyes, and Logan wandered around the store once more. He grabbed a few more supplies and headed back to Aunt Betty’s. Since the weather was nice and Erin was baking inside the house, Logan decided to start with some of the exterior work. He walked up toward the front porch, careful to keep his body clear of the front window. He didn’t want Erin seeing him working out here—or, more importantly, catch a glimpse of her.
One would think that ten years of not seeing Erin would be enough to cool his attraction for the woman. Nothing could be further from the truth. The two times he’d seen her had done a number on his heart.
Logan approached the porch swing she’d painted and ran his hand over the armrest. Even though it was now a hideous shade of pink, Erin had done an amazing job with the actual paint job. It was obvious that she’d taken the time to sand down the rough patches where the previous layer of paint was chipped, and now the wooden seat looked practically brand new.
Logan turned his attention to the house numbers. The bottom one hung crookedly and when he touched it, it clanked down onto the wooden porch. Logan bent to pick it up when a small hand beat him to it.
Parker.
Logan had been so absorbed in his thoughts about Erin, he hadn’t noticed the little boy join him. He looked at him, struck by how much the little boy looked like his father. Straight dark hair, a narrow nose, wide-set eyes. The only difference was that instead of Jake’s dark-brown, Parker’s eyes were the same light-blue as his mother’s.
Parker handed him the house number. “The seven never sticks.”
“Is that so?” Logan grabbed the number from Parker’s outstretched arm.
“It’s because Samantha and I hit it with a baseball.”
Logan’s eyes went wide. “A baseball? You’re lucky that it didn’t hit the window.”
The glass panes weren’t the kind of window you could run down to the local store for. They’d have to be custom ordered, and even then, they might not match completely.
“That’s what Mama said.” Parker put his hands on his hips. “Are you sure she’s not telling you what to say?”
Logan chuckled. He was the last person Erin would talk to if she could help it. “Why do you think she’d do that?”
Parker looked back and forth to make sure no one was listening before peering back up at Logan. He beckoned Logan closer with his little fingers. Logan leaned in. “Mama and Rock Man don’t always agree,” Parker whispered, cupping his hand over his mouth. “I thought maybe she was paying you to agree with her.”
Logan doubted Erin was in any position to pay him off based on the fact she was living with Aunt Betty, but he didn’t dwell on that after hearing Parker mention Rock Man again. Logan had been curious before, but Erin had jumped in before he had gotten a chance to figure out who he was. Though he had his suspicions.
“Who’s Rock Man?”
Parker puffed out his chest. “Rock Man is my friend. He keeps me and Mama and Samantha safe ever since Daddy died.”
It felt like someone stabbed Logan in the chest with a knife and twisted. He remembered what it was like to be a scared boy without parents. He’d been older than Parker when it had happened to him. “How does he keep you safe?”
“He watches us when we sleep to make sure no bad guys get us. Plus, if any bad germs try to make us sick, he attacks them with his laser eyes. That way, we don’t get cancer like Daddy.”
“Rock man isn’t real,” a girl’s voice said.
Logan and Parker pivoted toward the sound. Samantha walked up the stairs of the front porch and sat on the swing. An irritated look filled her face.
Parker stomped his foot. “Yes, he is.”
“Then why can’t anyone else see him?” Samantha crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head at Parker. The smile on her face was tight and mocking.
“Because he has to stay hidden, so the bad guys don’t know he’s here.”
She rolled her eyes. “There aren’t any bad guys in Frostford.”
“Thanks to Rock Man.”
The two children’s voices got increasingly loud as they argued. The front door squeaked loudly as it swung open. Logan made a mental note to get some WD-40 for the hinges before he came face-to-face with Erin.
“Parker. Samantha.” She put her hands on her hips. “What have I told you about yelling at each other?”
Parker’s eyes filled with tears. “Samantha said Rock Man wasn’t real.”
“Of course she did,” Erin said under her breath and ran a hand over her face. “Parker, why don’t you go inside for a minute. I’ll be right there.”
The young boy sniffed but did what he was told. Once he was inside, Erin turned her attention toward her daughter. Logan busied himself with taking the house numbers out of their packaging as Erin spoke to Samantha. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to stay or go for this conversation, since he’d been the one to allow things to get out of hand.
Erin spoke gently to Samantha. Logan only caught little snippets of what was being said. “... doesn’t sleep ... cancer ... won’t last forever ... please.” Even hearing that felt like an invasion of privacy, and he took a few more steps to the edge of the porch to give them more space.
He rested his forearms against the railing, and his eyes followed a couple as they pushed a stroller down the sidewalk in front of Aunt Betty’s house. The parents both laughed as they walked by. Logan imagined Erin and Jake as those young parents. Were they happy? Did they take afternoon walks with Samantha and Parker?
He was trying to imagine what that would have looked like when Erin came up beside him. Instead of facing the street, she leaned her back against the railing and faced the house. Neither of them looked at the other, but Logan registered her wrapping her arms around her torso in his peripheral vision.
He pushed off the rail, not sure where to start. Did he address what happened? Did he mention Rock Man when Erin so obviously wanted to sweep him under the rug? Or did he disappear to the guesthouse again?
“I didn’t—” Logan started at the same time as Erin said, “I’m sorry?—”
They both stopped, still avoiding each other’s gaze, and waited for the other to speak.
When Erin didn’t try again, Logan opened his mouth to speak. “It’s okay—” Logan said, but Erin also chose that same moment. “It’s because?—”
Erin sighed, and Logan turned to face her. He said, “It’s normal for kids to have an imaginary friend.”
She shook her head. “Maybe, but it’s not normal for a four-year-old boy to have to fill the hole his dad left with an imaginary friend because his strong, seemingly healthy father dies of cancer.” Her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes. “Rock Man, protector of the Carlisles, so no one else suffers the same fate as Parker’s hero.”
Logan ran his hand through his hair. “Erin. ”
“You were his friend, his best friend.” She closed her eyes and let out a long, slow breath. “You were my friend and you just left.”
“I know.”
“Why weren’t you here?” This was the second time she’d asked him a question he couldn’t answer. Her eyes pleaded with him for an answer that would make his absence make sense.
“I ...” How did he explain that he loved her? That her marrying Jake was the second most painful thing he’d experienced in his life—second only to losing his parents. That he was too afraid to see Jake when he was sick. And now that he was back in Frostford, he was ashamed of what he’d done. How did he tell Erin that it hurt just being here and that he needed to get out of this place as quickly as possible? “I didn’t mean to get the kids all worked up. I’ve been trying to work around you. I’m trying to stay out of your way.”
“Staying away.” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “That’s what you do best, isn’t it?”
Logan recoiled like he’d been punched in the gut. The words were hard to hear, but they weren’t wrong. Logan had his reasons for staying away, not that he could voice them. He stood silently under her scrutinizing gaze for what felt like an eternity. When Erin realized he wasn’t going to respond, she let out a sigh and stormed back inside, the front door squeaking in her wake.
Left alone on the porch for a second time, Logan sensed a pattern emerging whenever he talked to Erin, and he didn’t like it.
It had been an hour since Erin’s encounter with Logan on the porch, and she still felt rattled to her bones. She was feeling defensive of Parker, frustrated with Samantha, and... well, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling toward Logan at this moment.
She was angry at him. Angrier than she’d ever been at another human being. He shouldn’t have come back to Frostford, not now.
Sure, she’d wanted that when Jake got sick. It would have been helpful for Logan to come home and help her husband as he suffered. It would have been nice for her friend to be here to help with the funeral arrangements. Erin had wanted someone who’s known Jake in his prime, someone who wouldn’t only remember the cancer.
Now that he was here, everything was so wrong.
Erin was finishing the cupcakes she’d started earlier when Aunt Betty walked into the kitchen, wearing flowing linen pants, a bright-yellow tank top, and a palm-tree necklace.
“You’ve got a minute, sweetie?”
Erin set the frosting bag on the dated linoleum countertop and wiped her hands on her apron. “Always, what’s up? ”
Aunt Betty leaned her hip against the counter littered with baking supplies. “It’s about Logan.”
Erin’s stomach dropped.
“I realize you don’t want to talk about him.”
“It’s just a lot harder seeing him than I realized.” Erin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Doesn’t he know how badly he hurt us? Or does he just not care?”
“He should have been here. I know that better than anyone else. But holding onto that anger isn’t going to do you any good. The Lord doesn’t want us holding grudges.”
Aunt Betty was right. Erin’s grudge against Logan weighed her down, but she wasn’t able to let it go. He didn’t show a hint of remorse and hadn’t offered an explanation for why he’d done what he’d done, even though she’d asked him twice. Erin pressed her lips together, afraid that those thoughts would come tumbling out if she so much as opened her mouth. As angry as she was at Logan, she didn’t want to hurt Aunt Betty with unkind words about the boy who was like a son to her.
“Logan may not make the wisest choices all the time, but in his heart, he’s not a terrible guy.” Aunt Betty reached out and touched Erin’s arm. “You, of all people, know that. You and Jake were the only people who saw through his tough-guy act and down to his heart.”
Erin shook her head. “We were teenagers. It’s expected for you to make mistakes at that age. Logan is a grown man now, but he pretends like his actions don’t have consequences.”
“Has he said that much to you?” Aunt Betty lifted her brows.
Erin closed her eyes. Of course, he hadn’t said that in words. It was the fact that he was here, working on the house, avoiding Erin like the plague, and hadn’t even once mentioned Jake that gave her that impression.
“I have an idea that I hope will help everyone with this unexpected turn of events,” Aunt Betty said, “but you’re not going to like it.”
Erin held her breath as she looked up at Aunt Betty. The woman had a heart of gold, but wasn’t known for her conventional lifestyle. The clothing, the car, the way she took in Logan when no one else would—and the way she raised him. Whenever Aunt Betty had an idea, there was no telling what it would be. It could be something completely harmless, or something completely unimaginable.
She clasped her hands in front of her. “We’re going to start having family dinners.”
Erin’s brows knit together. They already had family dinners. Erin tried to make a home-cooked meal every night, with a rare pizza night thrown in here and there. That wasn’t so bad.
“You, me, the kids ... and Logan.”
Erin’s heart sank. Dinner around the table with Aunt Betty had become one of her favorite parts of the day. After spending the entire day cooking, baking, or working on the house, it was the one time of day Erin had come to count on for catching up with Parker and Samantha. While some days were hard as they all shared memories of Jake, most nights were filled with laughter. It was in these moments that Erin had hope for her children’s future, even without their father.
Bringing Logan into the mix felt like an intrusion. She didn’t want him there. “I don’t think?—”
Aunt Betty put her hand up. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.” Her smile was kind, but it was clear that she wasn’t asking.
The gentle approach didn’t make the news any easier to bear. Erin’s heart sank. It wouldn’t be that much more work to cook for an extra person, and Aunt Betty and she already split the grocery bill. But sitting across the small dining room table from Logan? She wasn’t sure she could do it.
Turns out, she could do it. Or, rather, she really didn’t have a choice.
She’d just pulled the lasagna out of the oven when she heard the heavy thud of footsteps behind her—too heavy to be either of her children or Aunt Betty. Erin took a deep breath, set the oven mitts on the counter, and turned toward Logan.
He stood just a few feet in front of her. His hands were in his pockets and his gaze trained on the floor between them. “Hey. ”
“Hey,” she said, her voice flat.
“Is there ... ” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I help with anything?”
“I’ve already done everything,” she said. Aunt Betty might be forcing them to eat dinner together, but that didn’t mean Erin needed to pretend she was happy about it.
He didn’t leave. “Are you sure there isn’t something I can do?”
Erin rubbed her temples and sighed, really wanting to get this night over with. It was too hard to see his face, too hard to hear his voice. Hadn’t she dealt with enough hard things to not have to spend time with the friend who had abandoned her?
She waved her hand at the cabinets. “You could set the table if you really want to help.”
Logan nodded, and wordlessly started grabbing plates down from the cabinets, his movements stilted. He was as uncomfortable as she was having dinner together. The idea of this being hard for both of them made her feel a bit better about the whole thing. If she had to suffer through it, she was glad to know she wasn’t alone.
Logan made quick work of the dining room, and soon he was standing in the kitchen again, awaiting orders like a soldier from his superior. Erin looked up at the clock on the wall. There were still a few minutes before dinnertime, but since the food was ready, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to call the children in to get cleaned up. The sooner they started, the sooner they could be done.
“If you want to get your drink, I’ll go get the kids.”
Logan nodded, and she felt his eyes on her as she walked out of the kitchen. She found Samantha and Parker sitting in the backyard, kicking a soccer ball back and forth. “Dinner’s ready,” she called.
They both came running, always hungry after playing outside all day. She caught them just before they went inside. “Before you go in, I wanted to let you know that Mr. West will be eating with us tonight.”
“How come he hasn’t eaten with us before?” Parker asked.
Erin struggled to think of a way to explain it. “He just moved back to Frostford. He needed time to get settled in first.”
“He didn’t eat this whole time?” His eyes went wide. “I bet he’s awfully hungry.”
Erin shook her head, a small smile touching her lips. “No, he’s had his own food that he ate in the guesthouse.”
Parker’s head tilted to the side. “He didn’t want to eat with us?”
“Well ... ” Erin brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m not really sure. We didn’t really talk about it.”
“Then how did you know that he didn’t want to eat here?”
“I . . . ”
Samantha let out an impatient huff. “Mama didn’t want him to eat with us.”
Erin’s head snapped toward her daughter. “Why do you say that?”
She shrugged. “You don’t like him very much.”
A wave of guilt washed over Erin. While she had been avoiding Logan, she thought she’d been sneaky enough about it. She’d been careful not to speak a single negative word about him in front of the kids. Turns out, that hadn’t been enough to hide her true feelings from her daughter.
“Why don’t you like him?” Parker’s face scrunched up in confusion. Then he whispered, “Is he a bad guy?”
Erin’s eyes widened. “No, of course not. Mr. West is ... well, he’s ... ” She pressed her lips together. “He’s a guest of Aunt Betty’s, a very special friend. We want to be welcoming to him, and I expect you to be kind to him at dinner tonight.”
“Yes, Mama,” Parker said.
As she followed them inside, Erin reminded herself that she would also need to be kind to Logan if she was to set a good example for her children. She would force herself to smile and nod and pretend like everything was okay.
She sat down at the small dining room table between Parker and Samantha. That put her directly across from Logan. She kept her attention on the plate in front of her.
“Oh, sweetie, you’ve done it once again.” Aunt Betty looked down at the meal and rubbed her hands together. “Logan, why don’t you say grace and then we can eat?”
Usually, Aunt Betty would say a blessing over their food. Occasionally, Parker would say a little poem about thanking God for their food. This was unexpected, like the new addition to their meal. Everyone at the table turned toward Logan.
He stiffened. “Me?”
“Why not?” Aunt Betty asked.
He shifted in his seat as everyone scrutinized him. Erin almost felt bad for him. Almost.
“Maybe he doesn’t know how to say grace,” Parker whispered loudly to Erin.
“Of course he knows how to say grace,” Aunt Betty said.
“Maybe he just doesn’t want to.” Samantha crossed her arms.
Parker looked at his sister. “Why wouldn’t he want to?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Aunt Betty said. “Of course he wants to say grace.”
“I’ll do it,” Erin said, just wanting this exchange to be over.
Logan cleared his throat. “No, I can do it.” Everyone quieted, their eyes on Logan. He swallowed. “Let’s pray.”
Everyone folded their hands and bowed their heads .
“Dear Lord, we thank you so much for this meal before us. Thank you for the hands that prepared it. Please bless it to our bodies. Amen.”
“Amen,” everyone echoed.
When it came to blessings, it was short and to the point, but Erin got hung up on the fact that he thanked God for the hands that made it—her hands. He was thanking God for her making the meal. Aunt Betty always made sure to tell Erin how delicious it was, and the kids usually thanked her for dinner through full mouths thanks to Aunt Betty’s nightly prompting. But this, this was a different kind of gratitude. It was the type of prayer Jake would pray when they all sat down as a family.
It felt so unfair that Logan was the one speaking the words instead of Jake. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. Not wanting anyone to see, she carefully tried to blink them away as Parker launched into a conversation about Rock Man.
“I didn’t want to wash my hands when I came in from playing, even though Mama told me to. But then Rock Man reminded me that if I didn’t wash my hands, that I might get sick.”
“Rock Man’s right,” Aunt Betty said.
“And I don’t want to get cancer like Daddy, so I washed them real good with soap. Twice.”
How many times had they gone over this? Erin couldn’t even count how many times she’d reassured Parker that he couldn’t get cancer from dirt, but Rock Man was always there fighting against her.
Erin was exhausted and still fighting against the overwhelming emotions from Logan’s prayer. She didn’t have the energy to do this again. She set her fork down, prepared to explain that dirt wasn’t what caused Jake to get sick.
Thankfully, Aunt Betty stepped in. “Sweetie, it’s very good to wash up before dinner, but your mama and I have told you over and over again. You’re not going to get sick like your father. Not from a little dirt outside.”
He took a sip from his plastic cup. “I just wanna be extra careful.”
“It’s good to be careful.” Aunt Betty mussed his hair. “Just don’t be too careful. Boys are supposed to be a little wild. Isn’t that right, Logan?”
Erin looked up at Logan, only to discover he was looking right at her, his face unreadable. Why was he looking at her? He shook his head, and his face cleared, like he was coming out of a daze. “Hmm?”
“Boys are supposed to be a little wild,” Aunt Betty repeated.
“Oh, um, sure.” Logan pushed the food around on his plate. “You’re supposed to climb trees, ride a bike, play tag. It’s part of being a kid. There’ll be plenty of time for playing it safe when you’re older.”
Erin shoved a bite in her mouth. It didn’t matter how safe you played it; you couldn’t predict every obstacle life threw at you.
Parker’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”
Logan nodded. “Yep. You can even ask Rock Man about it.”
Erin sagged in her chair. She was constantly fighting against Rock Man. Maybe that was her problem. Logan was coming in without any history, and he just went along with the whole imaginary friend.
As much as she resented the idea of Logan finding a way to get through to Parker, she would be thankful if this actually worked and could get her son to stop obsessing over being safe all the time. Erin wanted her children to be safe, but she didn’t want them to live in fear of getting cancer. She wanted them to be carefree like kids were supposed to be. She was the one who should carry the burdens of the family, not them.
“Make sure you let me know what he says,” Logan said, before taking a bite of salad.
“Okay,” Parker said.
Erin wondered what Rock Man would “say,” and decided she would follow up with Parker to see if Logan’s plan worked. She hoped it did for Parker’s sake, but it would be annoying, too, since it was Logan’s idea. The rest of the meal was mostly uneventful. Aunt Betty tried to get Samantha to talk about her day, getting one-word answers. Parker talked a little more about his favorite things. Logan and Erin were silent until it was time to clean up, focusing on their bites or what other people at the table were saying.
When everyone had finished eating, Erin stacked plates in her hands and carried them to the kitchen. As was the routine, Samantha and Parker went upstairs to read books before bed while she cleaned up, though Parker was too young to actually read and just looked at the pictures.
“Let me take care of the kitchen,” Logan said from behind Erin as she set the dishes on the counter. When she turned toward him, he lifted one of his shoulders. “I have a feeling you clean up every night. You could use a break.”
A break. Did he know how much that meant to her? Doing dishes was her least favorite part of cooking or baking, and not just because of the actual work. It was the stillness. She could hide from her thoughts if she kept herself busy enough with multiple pies or cooking something new and having to stick with a complicated recipe. But this? Washing dishes was mindless, and she still had a hard time keeping her thoughts from Jake.
Erin didn’t argue. She simply thanked him before going upstairs and reading to her children instead. She snuggled close to Samantha and Parker and read three stories to them before she finally made them go to sleep. When she kissed them each goodnight, she said a quick prayer to God, making sure He knew how grateful she was for a night off from the world’s worries.