Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
N eed a Friend
Maribel
“Why aren’t you on your flight?” Dez growls into the phone.
“I missed it. I had to stay to work on an assignment my professor gave me an extension on,” I say.
That’s total bullshit. I don’t want to go home to be around my father or Dez. I’d rather be anywhere but there. I missed that flight intentionally, but he doesn’t need to know that.
I would rather spend my Christmas and New Year alone than go back home to be around Dez or my dad. My father isn’t listening to me when I tell him I’m over this and it’s not what I want. It’s like I’m screaming into an empty room with no one to hear me.
“I will book you for a flight in the morning.”
“And I won’t be on that either. I will be here until the first of the year. I can’t leave before then. I promised my mom I’d drop in for a few quick days after the new year.”
He sighs heavily on the other end. I roll my eyes. You would think he would get the point by now.
“Maribel, I’m not asking you to come home. I’m telling you. If you’re not here by the opening of the year, I will come there, and you won’t be finishing the semester.
“You will be barefoot and pregnant within the year. That’s a promise. Do you understand me?”
“What the heck is the rush?”
“Not that I need to explain myself, but there are moves being made in my world. I need to establish myself and my role before those things come to fruition. In order to take my brother’s place, I need a wife.
“You are that wife, Maribel. You were promised to me. I don’t take promises lightly,” he says.
My stomach twists. I still don’t get how I fit into all of this. I have no idea why my father decided to promise me off to this man. Heck, he wasn’t even a man when this promise was made.
“I need to get back to my assignment. I’ll talk to you later,” I mumble.
“Merry Christmas, Maribel. I will have your gift when you arrive.”
I shiver in disgust, not liking the way his words come out. I don’t want anything from him but my freedom. I hang up before he can say anything else.
I toss my phone down and bury my face in my knees as I sit on the couch with my legs pulled into my body. I’m still in my PJs. This apartment feels so empty without Taylor here.
She left for Christmas break a few days ago. I waited until the last minute to book a flight I knew I wasn’t going to take. I want to scream and tear my hair out.
At this point, I don’t even care about the money. My father can keep the fucking trust. It’s not like I’m going to miss it.
I don’t mind working for my own. However, at this point, I don’t think I’m going to get to walk away no matter what I want. I fucking hate my life.
“I should fake my death,” I mutter and punch the couch.
I need to get out of here and get some fresh air. It’s like everything is suffocating me. The loneliness, the demands, my thoughts.
I’m eighteen. I should be enjoying my life, not dreading my future with each day that passes. I stand and stomp my way into my room. Tearing off my pajamas, I jump into the shower.
The warm spray does wonders, but it’s not enough. This feeling of despair won’t wash away. I can’t believe this is my life.
“Come on, Maribel. You can figure this out. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
I shut the water off as determination fills me. It’s time to come up with a plan. I will get the last say on my life.
I return to my room and throw on some clothes to make a trip to the store. I could use some ice cream and cookies to help me think.
Construction boots on my feet and my favorite black jeans on my legs, I’m all set to head out. I toss on my jacket and hat, then grab my small bag and leave. My stomach grumbles on my way out, so I decide to get some Chinese while I’m at it.
I make the trip to grab my food first. I’m grateful when I arrive and I’m able to place my order quickly. Once I have my order in tow, I make my way to the supermarket.
I’m staring at the ice cream when I get this feeling and turn. A gasp leaves my lips as I find Cameron standing with a scowl on his face as he looks into the freezer before him.
He turns to look in my direction and I can see the sadness in his eyes. He also looks like he might have been crying at some point. My feet are moving toward him without my permission.
“Hey, are you all right?”
He shakes his head no as he swallows hard. I note the bag of Chinese in his hand and smile. We think a lot alike.
I lift my bag to show him. “I’ve got dinner for one. Pretty sorry, right?”
He lifts his bag to show me. “No, I have the same. Just deciding on which flavor will fuck my stomach up once I scarf all this shit down.”
“I was going to go with the vanilla bean since they don’t have eggnog. That or rum raisin.”
“If I buy you one of each, would you hang with me?”
“Your girlfriend isn’t going to have an issue with that?”
“Amina,” he pauses and clears his throat. “Maribel, Kay and I weren’t together when we were hanging out.”
“My name is Amina.”
“No, I’m serious. We were on a break, and I liked you. Kay and I?—”
“No, Cam. Amina really is my name. It’s my middle name. Maribel Amina Jones is my full name. I never lied. It’s just?—”
“Complicated,” he finishes for me.
“Yeah, complicated.”
“I miss my friend. It’s been a long fucked-up day. You want to come to my place, and we can clear things up on both our ends?”
I nod. “I think that would be cool.”
I’ve missed him and our talks. I could use a friend right now more than he could ever know. With a smile, he grabs a few pints of ice cream from the brand he was staring at and we head to the register.
This is the lightest I’ve felt in months. I probably shouldn’t open myself up so easily, but this is Cam. This is the safe feeling he brings out of me.
“Maribel is just as pretty,” Cam says with a smile as he pays for our ice cream.
“Thank you.”
We walk out of the store once our purchase is made. I’m surprised when he turns to head in the direction of my cousin’s building. I didn’t know we lived so close to each other.
When we get to his place, I note that we’re only about two blocks away from each other. We’re quiet most of the way. It’s once we step into his apartment that he begins to speak.
“It’s not much, but it’s home,” he says as he takes my coat from me.
I kick off my boots as he takes off his, then I follow him to the kitchen, where we put down our food, and he puts away the ice cream.
“Are you kidding? This place is nice. You’re really neat for a guy.”
“That would be my brother’s doing. He’s the neat freak,” he replies.
“Is he here?”
A frown comes to his face. “No,” he bites out. “He’s with my parents on a ski trip.”
“Why do you sound so angry about that?”
I take my egg roll out and start on it as he grabs glasses and forks. He pours me a glass of punch and grabs himself a sports drink. I smile my thanks as he settles on the stool beside me.
“My brother is prone to having seizures when stressed. I got a call from my dad about an hour or two ago.” He shakes his head. “I lost track of time in my anger. He’s had one while there. I was supposed to be there, but I’m not,” he seethes.
“Cam, you can’t blame yourself for something like that. Is he okay?”
He snorts as he stabs at his rice. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was stabbing at someone’s face in that container. I get that he’s protective of his brother, but I don’t see how he believes this is his fault.
“He’s in the hospital, but my father says he’ll be fine. And you’re wrong. If I were there, I could have kept it from happening.”
“Why aren’t you there? It sounds like something happened.”
“Something did. I was supposed to leave out with the rest of my family early yesterday morning so we’d all beat the snow. I got left behind and the roads were snowed out before I could leave.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That sucks.”
“Yeah, it does, but why did you lie about your name?”
I tilt my head as I take him in. Clearly, he wants to get the conversation off him and his brother. From the redness in his eyes and the hurt on his face, I take the hint.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this out loud. I haven’t told anyone, not even my mom. Would you believe me if I told you I’m engaged?
“Well, I’m supposed to be. I keep dodging the official announcement and the guy I’m supposed to be engaged to. I came here for college to get away from him and my dad, who’s trying to arrange this marriage in the first place,” I say.
Cam stabs his fork into his food and places the carton on the countertop. He looks back at me in shock. I look down at my fingers and fidget with them.
“Wait, what?”
“I didn’t give you my real name because I hadn’t planned on getting to know you. With all the drama I have going on, I didn’t want to drag anyone into any of it. I gave you a fake name, thinking I’d never see you again.
“Then we kept running into each other and … Cam, you were a choice I got to make. A friendship I chose and wanted. I knew I couldn’t have more, but I didn’t want to give up what we had either.
“I was afraid to tell you my real name because it was going to take away … I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore. I hurt you and that wasn’t my intention.
“I’m sorry. God, you have no idea how good it feels to finally say it all out loud,” I say and bite my lip.
“That’s crazy. Just back this up a bit for me, darlin’. Let me make sure I understand this.
“You’re being forced to marry some guy you don’t want, so you ran off to Texas. To come here to hide from that engagement? And here I was, trying to force you into a relationship with me.
“I’m the one who’s sorry, Maribel. Fuck, so much makes sense now. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known. It’s so crazy. I didn’t want anyone to know.
“I couldn’t even go home for Christmas because he’s waiting for me and wants to throw an engagement party. I thought I had more time, you know? The next four years.
“I thought I could figure out a way out by then. I can’t marry him. It should be my choice who I fall in love with and marry,” I whisper the last part.
“I understand more than you think. Trust me, I do,” he says.
I look at him and knit my brows. He reaches for a napkin and then wipes the tears I hadn’t noticed I allowed to fall. Grabbing his food and drink, he gestures for me to follow him.
We go into the living room and sit on the couch. Cameron then begins to tell me all about Kay, his childhood friend who became his girlfriend. I feel like I learn about a whole different side of Cam.
***
“You know, I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a while,” I say as I lie on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Cam is sitting on the floor with his back against the couch while we digest our food.
I’ve grown more comfortable with each passing second. I think he’s been able to get his mind off his own worries as well. We’ve fallen back into our familiar friendship.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“How did the Jodeci thing come about? I mean, I expected you to be a Garth Brooks fan, Shania Twain, Keith Urban maybe. Not Jodeci.”
Cam laughs. “Do you remember The Box?”
“Yeah, I remember wanting to call in so bad, but my mom would have whooped my butt.”
“Well, my parents were never around to keep us from getting into shit, so I would call in to order videos all the time.
“The fucked-up part was, you had to wait through all the other videos for yours to come up.”
“Right, it would take hours. My friends would call in at their houses and I always had to leave before we got to see our video,” I snicker.
“One night, I was sitting up waiting for a video. I couldn’t even tell which one it was now if you asked. What I do remember is these four cool-ass guys in the desert.
“Wearing leather pants. That shit was so fire. Someone else thought it was too, because it came on, like, a dozen times before my video did.
“By the time my video did come on, I had called in for their video to play again and I had their moves memorized. I went out and got all their shit I could find after that.”
“‘Cry for you’? You got hooked off the ‘Cry For You’ video?”
“Baby, I’m begging, baby, I’m begging, begging, begging,” he croons.
I burst out laughing. It makes so much sense. Our dance at the party. I can tell he spent time watching and mimicking those videos.
“I do like Garth, Shania, and the others, but Jodeci is my shit. I know every album, every track, every word. If I play one of their songs for you, you know I mean the words from my heart.”
“You don’t know each album by track. That’s bullcrap,” I scoff.
“Want to try me? I have all their albums in my playlists. Pick a track, I’ll give you the album and title of the song. Here, take my phone,” he says after grabbing the remote to turn on the sound system and connecting his device.
I smile as I see the collection of albums on his phone. I go for the earliest album and look through the list. I click on one of the songs and wait for it to play.
Cam looks me in the eyes with a smile on his face. As soon as the intro plays, his eyes light up and his smile grows.
“Track two. “Come & Talk to Me.” The Forever My Lady album. It’s also track three on the Back to the Future-The Very Best of Jodeci album,” he says confidently.
“Oh, come on, it didn’t even start. How could you know that?”
“Hit me with another. Try something you know wasn’t one of their popular songs. Make it hard for me.”
I go to another album to do as he says. I bite my lip as I choose the next one. I click on the next song and look up into his eyes.
The smile that comes to his face makes my belly flip. He allows his gaze to roll over me before he answers. I sit up and clear my throat.
“Track twelve. ‘Let’s Do It All.’ The Show, the After-Party, the Hotel album,” he says as heat fills his eyes.
I tune into the lyrics and realize my mistake. I quickly jump from that album and find something else. The song comes on and Cam stands and holds his hand out.
I hesitantly take his hand and stand with him, dropping his phone on the couch. He pulls me into his arms and begins to sway me in his embrace. He looks me right in the eyes.
I’m lost in his gaze. My heart is pounding and that pulsing between my legs is happening.
“‘What About Us.’ Track four. Diary of a Mad Band album. Also track nine on the Back to the Future-The Very Best of Jodeci album. This one is perfect,” he murmurs.
As Jodeci croons about being in need of love, I know I should back away. It might even be time to go. However, instead of running like I should, I wrap my arms around his neck.
I bite my lip as my mind screams all the reasons we shouldn’t do this. He’s angry with his girlfriend, but they’re not on a break this time. I have a madman waiting for me to return to marry him.
As much as we feel like we should be together, we can’t be. Cam reaches beneath my hair and palms the back of my neck. When I look into his eyes, I can see him pleading for something, but I can't give him an answer as my own confusion takes over.
He dips his head to kiss me, but I duck at the last minute and his lips meet my forehead. He allows his lips to linger against my skin as I drop my arms from around his neck and place my hands on his waist.
“Sorry,” he says and releases me to back away.
“Cam, I?—”
“We’re friends. We both have a lot of shit going on. Kay doesn’t deserve this.
“This isn’t who I am. I’m sorry. Thanks for the company. You really took my mind off things. Let me walk you home.”
I nod. “Okay, thanks. I had fun. Maybe we can text or hang out sometime, like we used to.”
“I’d like that. I’ll definitely stop giving you the cold shoulder in chem class.”
I snort. “Yeah, same here.”
I go to collect my trash and empty containers while he grabs our coats. I don’t really want to leave and go back to my lonely place, but he’s right. I’m not that girl. I’m not about to sleep with someone else’s boyfriend.
“Maribel, can I call you Amina?”
I turn to look up at him and smile. “My mom calls me Mina. It’s been my nickname since I was little.”
“I like that. Is it okay for me too?”
“Yeah, Mina or Amina are fine.”
“Cool. Mina?”
“Yes, Cam?”
“Don’t give up. Things will work out. I believe you’ll find a way out.”
“Thanks, Cam. I needed to hear that. I think you and Kay will figure things out too. Sounds like you two used to be good friends. Try to keep that in mind.
“We grow up and life changes, but true friendships have a way of lasting. Don’t give up on the good things,” I reply.
He looks like he’s going to say something, but he clamps his mouth shut and shakes his head. So much has changed this evening. I think I have a friend for life.
I look down at the time on my phone. “Cam?”
“Yeah?”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Mina,” he says and kisses my cheek.