Chapter Fourteen
Ailee
My brain freezes. Four very simple words, but they don’t compute.
I open my mouth, feeling like I should say something.
But nothing suitable comes to mind. Oh my God, you like me, you really like me!
seems immature. Grabbing his hair and kissing him is out of the question—he’s driving.
And even if he weren’t, he brought the idea up a few moments ago but then immediately said that it wouldn’t be appropriate.
Should I tell him I’ve been crushing on him since forever?
But what if he means he likes me as a capable assistant rather than as a woman?
We’ve been working together for three years, and he’s never done anything to hint that he felt any sort of attraction.
Not to mention, he’s been seen with one stunning woman after another.
Unlike me, they’d look like Aphrodite even in mismatched footwear.
Chad’s cruel words stir—no self-esteem, no self-respect.
I don’t think I’m that bad. I shouldn’t give him any power over me, but the scars he left are too fresh to ignore.
And even though I should be happy that Josh said he likes me, I keep second-guessing it.
Chad said he liked me, and later that he loved me.
Not that Josh is a jerk like my ex-fiancé, but an instinctive need to be extra cautious remains.
“What?” Josh finally prompts me when I continue to stare and keep opening and closing my mouth.
Oh, shit. Now I really have to come up with something. “I don’t know what to say,” I blurt out.
Something flickers in his eyes. Disappointment? But it’s gone in an instant. “You aren’t obligated to say anything,” he says calmly. “You didn’t have to do anything unless you want to. We aren’t here as boss and assistant.”
“We…aren’t?”
“No. We’re here as an engaged couple.”
I make a small strangled sound at how serious he sounds, although a gleam in his eye hints at playful teasing.
An urge to remind him that our “engagement” was an impulse on his part because he wanted to protect me swells, but I shut up in case I inadvertently say something that upsets him and makes him kiss me.
Not that I’d be against that. But I’m not ready.
I probably taste like burned apartment or something.
And I know my hair smells bad. I should at least brush my teeth and shower.
Beat my hair into some kind of submission before I let his fingers tangle into my curls and—
Oh my God, stop thinking about it like kissing is inevitable! But the image won’t leave my head, and I can’t quit staring at his mouth, fantasizing how it would feel on mine. It’s really beautiful—sensual and firm… Would he move his hands over me? Stroke me, trace my body—
I squirm a little, swallowing a groan. I’m getting wet just from the thought of his mouth and hands on me. I inhale and imagine a tranquil sea. Just paste on a friendly smile and pretend everything’s fine.
“My family saw the video,” he says.
I gasp, whatever little peace I managed to achieve vanishing. “Prescott and Jeremiah too?” I squeak. The two people I’m most worried about.
“Probably the whole firm. Barry stopped by. Offered to organize a bachelor party.”
“Ack.” I bury my face in my hands. “Crap. What do I tell Kenna?”
“Kenna? Kenna Miller?”
“Yeah. I told her about my engagement to Chad yesterday. She’s the one who referred me to Chad when my dentist retired.”
Josh’s eyes narrow, his lips pursing. Hopefully it doesn’t mean she’s in trouble. He doesn’t seem to like her very much for some reason, and she tries to avoid interacting with him.
“She was being nice,” I add.
“Mmm. I’m sure.” He doesn’t sound convinced. “Tell her you traded up. By the way, Akiko wants to meet you. Host a family dinner and invite you over.”
I shake my head. No way am I meeting Prescott’s wife! “Shouldn’t we just tell them the truth?”
“Do you want to?”
“I mean…” I hesitate. We should come clean, not deceive his family.
But at the same time, Chad’s cruel taunt—and the stupid bet—comes back to me.
Should I pretend the bet never happened?
Or is it going to be a problem? I glance down at the ring, then pull it off and turn it in my hands, considering.
He really wants it back. If I give it to him now and be done with it, he might just go away permanently—
“Jesus, you’re still wearing that ugly thing?” Josh takes my hand and plucks the ring out of my fingers as the driver’s-side window lowers. Then he throws it out into the traffic.
“Oh my God! No!”
“Yes.” He raises the window.
“That’s a real diamond!” I raise my voice without meaning to, panicking. How much is it going to cost to replace it? No matter how much I hate Chad’s guts, it wouldn’t be right to keep the ring, which technically belongs to his wife. “Can you turn the car around?”
“In this traffic?”
I flop back against the seat and close my eyes. Josh is right. There are way too many cars on the road. Not to mention, how would I look for the ring anyway? It’s so small, and I’d be lucky if the L.A. drivers didn’t run me over in road rage.
I slap my cheeks a couple of times, panicking.
“What’s the problem? Tell me,” he says.
“I was going to return it to Autumn!”
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “And apologize?”
Oh, God. He overheard the bet. “Of course not. I didn’t do anything wrong, but neither did she.”
“I doubt she wants it back. I wouldn’t if I were her. I’d be too busy hiring the nastiest divorce lawyer I could afford,” he says. “And if Chad bothers you again, tell him to go fuck himself.”
The muscles in Josh’s jaw twitch as his eyebrows snap together. His grip on the steering wheel tightens until the knuckles turn white. Probably he’s remembering how I said “fine” to Chad’s ridiculous bet. I shouldn’t have involved him so deeply.
I flame with embarrassment. “I’m sor—” I stop short, in case Josh really was serious about kissing me. “I messed up.”
“No, you didn’t. Anybody would’ve done the same.” He considers for a moment. “But don’t worry. We can stay engaged.”
I straighten in shock. “Really? You don’t mind?”
“Nope. I was actually about to propose the same thing, except for six months.”
My shoulders sag with relief. Whew, I’m glad he’s being so accommodating, although part of me harbors guilt that he’s doing this to salvage my pride—again.
“Great. I’m happy—and grateful—to hear that.
You don’t even have to stay for all six months, just three.
And then you can dump me. That way, it’ll all be neatly tied up. ”
“That’s ridiculous.” He scoffs. “You’ll dump me. Nobody’s going to believe it, otherwise.”
Uh… What? My brain freezes again. He must be confused—nobody will believe I dumped him. “Normally whoever has less to offer clings to the one with…more going on.”
“That’s right.” His eyes slide toward me for a second before returning to the road. “Normally.”
“Are you—” I stop and recalibrate. You know what? I can just pretend he considers me that amazing. Cinderella got to feel like a million bucks until midnight. Why shouldn’t I do the same?
“Am I what?”
“Nothing.” I clear my throat, then realize six months is a long time. He brought up kissing me earlier. Does he think I might want something more? Everything a couple does when a relationship isn’t fake? “I won’t get in your way at all,” I say.
“How do you propose to do that?” Amusement softens his voice.
“Um… Like not expecting you to do things that, um, I can do myself?” I say awkwardly.
He frowns. “I’m not following.”
I cringe inwardly. This is awkward as hell, but I want to clarify everything before we head into this.
“You have, um, personal needs, and I’ll let you do whatever’s…
necessary. Just—please—do it discreetly.
It’ll be embarrassing if everything becomes public, you know?
At the same time, I can totally take care of my, um, issues if they ever present themselves because I have, ah, my own ways.
” Shit, I’m babbling. I press my lips together.
His jaw flexes and the lines between his eyebrows deepen. What part of that annoyed him? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable by asking him to be careful. I mean, it’s for both our reputations. Plus Prescott seems pretty strict, and I don’t suppose he’d be okay with his son “cheating.”
“Do you know what my family motto is?”
“The Huxleys have a motto?” I chew on my lip, feeling like a kid who slept through class and missed a very important lesson. “Up or out?” It’s a phrase the lawyers at Huxley & Webber seem to use a lot.
He frowns. “That’s the firm’s unofficial policy. No, it’s pietas et unitas. Loyalty and unity.”
“Wow. That’s cool,” I say quickly. “Better than ‘up or out.’” Should’ve known that wasn’t the family motto, since it can’t really be applied to families. But then, I haven’t had coffee. And didn’t get much sleep last night.
“So obviously cheating doesn’t fit into the way we Huxleys are expected to live our lives,” Josh says.
“Yeah, no, of course not. But it’s not really cheating if we agree it’s okay ahead of time. We just have to be discreet, so nobody else knows.”
“No. Nothing stays secret forever.” The car stops at a red light, and he turns and gives me his full attention.
Thoughts I can’t read cross his face, and something volatile burns in his eyes as they trace mine.
My mouth dries. “If you ever let another guy touch you while we’re together, I’ll personally rip his legs off and shove them both up his ass.
Then I’ll fuck you until you remember you’re mine.
Just because the engagement is fake doesn’t mean we fool around with other people. ”
His eyes narrow to brilliant slits I can’t look away from.
Every word out of his gorgeous mouth is totally wrong, but so freakin’ hot.
My cheeks are warm enough to feel feverish.
I squirm to ease the ache between my legs, wishing my boxers weren’t so thin.
I’d better not leave a wet spot on his leather seat.
When I don’t say anything, his eyes darken. Then I realize maybe he mistook my suggestion to mean that I would like to cheat on him. “I wasn’t saying I’d do it with other guys. I have, ah, tools. And plenty of batteries. Thanks to subscribe and save, I get fifteen percent off on Energizers.”
Josh stares at me like I’ve sprouted flowers from the top of my head, then his gaze drops to my crotch briefly before rising to meet my eyes. “Are you telling me that you managed to save a vibrator or two when you evacuated?”
My face heats instantly. Shoot. I totally forgot about the fire incinerating everything. “No. Of course not,” I say hastily. Does he think I’m wearing a toy right now? Still, the point I was trying to make seems important. “But you need a variety. Don’t like to sleep with the same woman twice—”
“I don’t need a variety. And a Huxley does not cheat. Period.”
“Right.” I nod quickly at his hard tone.
That’s his we-aren’t-continuing-this-discussion voice.
He’s never directed it at me, but I can see why people shut up when he uses it on them.
It has the power to make you sit up and nod.
Besides, I’m starting to realize how odd I’ll sound if I insist that he go to other women when he says he won’t.
And it’s kind of thrilling that he wants to be true to me, even if temporarily.
“Good. Glad we could come to an agreement on this point.” The light changes and he resumes driving.
My heart continues to beat rapidly. After stealing a glance to make sure he’s focused on the road, I pinch my inner thigh and almost hiss in pain. Okay, not dreaming. But this is just surreal.
What’s happened to me since yesterday evening doesn’t happen to somebody like me.
Well…I guess cheating could happen, but everything else, including my panty-meltingly hot boss claiming to be my fiancé, my apartment burning down, and being taken to his place to move in—and us being fake-engaged for six months?
And he wants me to dump him after it’s over because that’s supposedly more believable…
He doesn’t even want to look at another woman for six months.
I gaze at the late morning sky. The sun has to have risen in the west. Or some really potent talisman must’ve burned up in the fire.
Or maybe I’ve been kidnapped by aliens, like I hoped for in Peking Town, and they’re doing some kind of mind experiment on me.