Chapter Thirty-Six
Ailee
After offering to find Max a new man and chatting with her about finding a new place—which we aren’t going to yet—I head to a cute little Japanese style parfaiteria of Akiko’s choosing. Himeko opened a couple of months ago, and there’s a line wrapping around the block.
–Me: Are you already here?
–Akiko: Yes. And I have a table. Come join me inside.
I peer through the window and see somebody waving.
Feeling very self-conscious, I walk up the line and step inside.
A sweet melody is playing on the sound system, and the décor is all cute Japanese dolls in gorgeous kimonos arranged along the high shelves.
An overwhelming aroma of chocolate, cream and sugar hits me.
Maybe the place sells more than just parfaits.
A bright smile lights Akiko’s face as I approach her table. Her eyes curve into crescents, which I find sweet. She’s in an elegant ivory top and navy skirt, and I’m glad I dressed up.
“Hello, sweetheart, so good to see you,” she says, and pulls me into an embrace.
I hug her back. I always thought I was small, especially compared to my runway model sister, but Akiko is even more petite than I am. “Same. Did you wait for long?” I glance at the line as we sit down.
“Oh, no.” She seems to find the notion amusing. “I’m one of the four investors, so there’s always a table for me.” She winks.
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm. I always wanted to bring Japanese-style desserts to America, and it just seemed to make sense. But before we order, are you allergic to anything else?”
“Other than seafood? No.” I think for a moment. “Please don’t tell me this place serves a pufferfish parfait.”
“Ah, no. That’d be a little too exotic for my taste.” Akiko laughs as she picks up the menu. “I’ve had their Imperial Strawberry parfait before. It was quite good. But their Deutsche parfait is pretty good, too.”
I study the options. The Deutsche features twenty-seven layers of chocolate in various forms—cream, shaving, brownie, meringue, syrup… “I’ll go for the Deutsche,” I say, then almost swallow my tongue at the price. Is that a typo?
“I’ll get the cherry one. It looks really good, doesn’t it?” Akiko says it with so much enthusiasm, I can’t do anything but nod. I’m sure that asking if there’s a typo on the menu isn’t the right way to go.
The server comes over and takes our order. Akiko orders caramel apple tea for us, saying it’s a treat I have to experience.
The waiter returns with our drink. Inside our cups are thin apple slices shaped to look like rosebuds. The server pours hot tea. As the fragrant liquid fills our cups, the apple slices unfurl like a blooming rose.
“Wow, that’s gorgeous,” I say breathlessly. I’ve never seen anything like it.
Akiko merely smiles. “Perfect for teatime, isn’t it?”
I nod. Her casual happiness reinforces that we’re from two very different worlds. My idea of “fancy” is a porcelain cup with a saucer, but for Akiko, it’s apple slices blooming like flowers in a teacup so elegant it probably cost more than my entire month’s pay.
The waiter returns with two stunning parfaits, each one big enough to be a meal in its own right. And the chocolate is way too pretty, with gold flakes glinting on top.
“This is…art,” I say, actually kind of awestruck.
“Delicious, too.” Akiko takes a bite of her cherry parfait.
I scoop up the top layer, along with the gold flakes, then moan softly. The most intense chocolate flavor coats my tongue, without being overly sweet or bitter. It’s perfectly balanced—the best chocolate I’ve ever had.
Given how small of a portion she served at dinner, I thought Akiko wouldn’t want to polish off all this dessert, but the bright smile on her face says she plans to indulge thoroughly.
My mother would never allow me to devour this many calories in one sitting without saying something about my paunch and how I need to lose some weight.
“Not asking for the moon here,” Mom told me often. “Only about twenty pounds or so.”
“I wish I had the patience to create something like this.” Akiko sighs.
“I’m sure you could. Your food was amazing.”
She laughs. “It’s just a little hobby.”
“Practical, though. I’d love to be able to cook like you.”
“Why?”
“To feed Josh? He loved the yakisoba I made. Lareina and Fiona forwarded me your recipe.” I shrug helplessly. “I just want to be a better fiancée.”
She tilts her head curiously. “Most women say they want to be good wives.”
Oops. I didn’t say “wife” because I couldn’t. I’m not going to make it to the wedding stage. I clear my throat. “Well… You have to be a fiancée before you can be a wife.”
“True. But seriously, Josh doesn’t need anything as complicated as what I make. And you have a busy career.”
The earnest way she speaks shocks me. Me?
Have a busy career? My work keeps me occupied, sure, but most people don’t speak about my job like this.
My parents have always thought I’m wasting my life at Huxley & Webber, and Katt pities me for not doing better.
But Akiko, a woman who looks like she was born to money and has lived in wealth and luxury all her life, speaks like my job’s critical and deserves to be respected.
“I’m just an assistant,” I say with an embarrassed smile.
Her expression doesn’t change. “Yes, I know. But how is that not busy or important?” She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Always treat yourself with respect and kindness, my dear. If you don’t, nobody else will.”
Am I being unkind to myself? It isn’t something I’ve ever thought about.
Akiko goes on. “Women are told to be sweet, considerate and kind to others, but not to themselves. Quite often, we actually put ourselves last. Don’t do that.”
“But…wouldn’t that make me selfish?”
“No. You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself. You’re a beautiful person, Ailee. You deserve good things, but you have to believe it and say it out loud.”
I cock my head. “Say it. Out loud.”
“That’s right. If you don’t take that step, it stays as a fuzzy concept in your head. The spoken word has an amazing power to help clarify one’s thoughts and desires.”
I take a moment to process. I’ve never been encouraged to put myself first, or say what I want out loud. Suddenly, I realize that my family basically turned me into somebody who thought occupying the same space as them was a great honor.
Akiko smiles as though she can see the thoughts crossing my mind.
“Your personal time is valuable. So you shouldn’t have to slave away in a kitchen to make things that take hours.
Besides, Josh likes simple food. Tacos. Hamburgers.
Roast chicken. Rosemary garlic roast chicken is a favorite.
I made it every week when he was in high school, and he bolted it down like he was starving, although he quit eating like that once his growth spurt ended.
He’s especially happy if it’s paired with roasted red-skin potatoes.
If you want the recipes, I can send them to you.
They’re so easy to make. Only takes ten minutes to prep, and an hour in the oven. ”
“Thank you. Yes, I’d like that very much.”
We chat some more over the tea and parfaits. Akiko’s hilarious, and I find myself laughing a lot. When my belly’s full of chocolatey goodness, Akiko pulls out a discreet matte-finish paper bag in creamy peach. “This is for you.”
“Oh…” Shit! Were we supposed to bring gifts? “I didn’t bring anything.” I try not to squirm.
“Oh, don’t worry, you weren’t supposed to.”
This woman may be the effortlessly gracious person I’ve ever met. “What is it?”
“You can open it.”
I pull a box out and open the lid. Inside is a set of absolutely gorgeous pearls. They have an extraordinary lavender luster with little diamond accents to add glitter. “I’ve never seen this color before.”
“Do you like them? They’re from my family in Japan. We do love our pearls.” She smiles. “There’s an ethereal glow about these that reminds me of you. And I want you to have them.”
I gape at the necklace, bracelet and earrings, then raise my eyes to stare at her. “Thank you, but I couldn’t possibly—”
She pats my hand. “You’re Josh’s fiancée and soon-to-be wife, which makes you my daughter.”
My arguments die in my throat. But this isn’t a real engagement! I need to tell her the truth, but the possibility that the warmth in her face might cool freezes my tongue. “I…don’t know what to do with these,” I manage awkwardly.
“There’s nothing to do, really. Just wear them on special occasions. I think they’ll go very well with your pretty violet eyes.”
I flush at her sincerity. “You don’t think that Josh is too good for me?” I almost slap my own mouth shut. She told you to be kind to yourself! But old habits die hard.
She sits back and blinks. “Goodness, no! Why would I think such a horrible thought? I trust Josh’s judgment. He’s always been a smart and capable boy. He can be a bit aloof and inexpressive, but that’s to be expected.”
“Because of what happened to him when he was a child,” I murmur.
Surprise flickers in her dark eyes. “Yes. Did he tell you?”
I nod.
She gives me a long, curious stare. “Well. If he told you about that, then he trusts you. And you are most definitely worthy of him.”
“But…” I don’t finish the thought. I used to think nothing of repeating what my parents or Katt said about me—that I wasn’t worthy, that I was lazy, that I wasn’t even trying.
But after spending time with Akiko, I don’t want to believe that anymore.
“I feel like this is a dream, and I’m afraid to wake up. ”
“Why would you believe something good must be a dream? Live in the present—it’s the manifestation of the way you’ve lived your life. You and Josh have been around each other for three years. You can tell a lot about a person over such a long time. I suspect you liked him.”
I nod.
“He must’ve loved what he saw in you.” She squeezes my shoulder, a surprising gesture from a woman who seems so physically reserved. “Do you think Josh is foolish? Or impulsive? A man who doesn’t understand what’s important?”
“No, of course not. He’s the most brilliant man I know.”
She gives me an angelic smile. “Then perhaps you should trust his judgment.”