Six
Asia
After he spoke, he kept his gaze on mine, clearly waiting for a reaction.
When he was satisfied that I wasn’t going to lose my shit, he said, “Which way to the garage?”
I forced myself to look at the screens again and pointed. “There, but it looks like the lights are off.”
“And there’s a bit of a crowd,” he added.
“Yeah, most people park there. Even though the building wasn’t as crowded as usual, it could have easily gotten choked up in there,” I said.
It had been that way for a week, with fewer and fewer people showing up for court appearances.
Then DAs and bailiffs started calling in sick.
I was actually excited today because the judge had extended hours to try to clear the growing backlog. I glanced at my watch and saw that it was ten thirty.
The judge had adjourned court at six forty-five.
In less than four hours, everything had changed. The little voice that I knew better than to ignore told me it was just beginning.
“So what’s the best way to get there?” Jackson asked, his voice clipped.
I glanced at him. He was staring and waiting.
“Sorry. Get where?” I said, trying to refocus.
“The garage. I need to get to my truck and get the hell out of here,” he said.
“No,” I responded without hesitation.
He cocked his head, his posture tense as he studied me.
That struck me .
He wasn’t tense when he climbed out of the elevator.
When he kicked open a metal door like it was nothing.
Urgent, yes. But not tense.
He was now, and it occurred to me that Jackson wasn’t used to hearing no.
I supposed I could relate, but this was about more than ego.
“It’s dark. That garage is old, and there are no emergency lights. We have to wait till morning,” I said.
“Have to?” His voice was whisper soft and all the scarier for it.
I rolled my eyes, something he didn’t miss, and that, from what I could tell, annoyed him even more.
I smiled despite myself. “You’re not an idiot, Jackson.”
His nostrils flared with his huffed-out breath. He didn’t appreciate my use of that name, but I knew he wouldn’t say anything. Because he was stubborn, too.
Maybe even as stubborn as me.
I shifted so that my body faced his, eyes locking on his, ready to find out .
“Look, the garage is creepy at noon and downright terrifying at night, but I’d go if it was smart. It’s not. It’s pitch-dark in there, and we’d have no way of knowing what was coming at us.”
I cocked my head toward the bank of screens, sure that Jack didn’t miss the couple dozen figures gathered near the garage.
“It’s not ideal, but there are exits. Which means it’s better than getting trapped in here,” he said.
“We’re not trapped in here. Not really. That garage is a different story. Sure there are exits, but there’s also thick walls, blind dead ends, and no lights. We’d be sitting ducks at night,” I countered.
From the way he thinned his lips, I had a hunch that Jackson saw my point, but wasn’t ready to fold yet. “Should have taken the chance on the main exit,” he mused.
“No,” I responded, “we shouldn’t have. We would have died there. Hell, we might still die here, but at least we have a shot.”
And that was what mattered, I realized.
I’d told myself I wouldn’t die here.
I was even more determined now .
In fact, I was more determined than ever to get out of here.
Until reality hit me.
He killed Jorge.
Oh God. He killed Jorge.
That thought took my breath away.
I stumbled away from the video monitors, the garage now forgotten, and leaned against the table.
“You killed Jorge,” I said, my emotions flipping on a dime.
“Got him before he could get me,” was Jack’s only response.
Like that was an answer.
Like that made it okay.
Anger, sharp and pulsing, had me on my feet.
“He was my friend and you killed him!” I was almost shrieking but forced my voice down.
Jack walked close, and glared down at me. “Don’t be stupid. He was dangerous. I put him down.”
I glared back at him, almost irrational now.
Jackson didn’t back down. In fact, he got closer. “You wanna punch me? ”
Just hours ago, I’d thought of doing just that. Wanted to now and felt the sting of embarrassment that tempered my anger.
I didn’t hit people.
I’d worked hard to become the kind of person who didn’t even think about doing things like that.
Jackson noticed when my gaze shifted, and his expression softened enough to ignite a fire in my belly that made the shame that much more acute.
I was sure I looked as horrible as I felt, that he noticed all the shit I was thinking, but that damn stubborn pride made me lift my gaze back to his.
Jackson didn’t waste the opportunity. Any softness in his expression was gone when he said, “I did what you had to. I’ll probably have to do worse. No sense crying about it.”
“Do I look like I’m crying, Jackson?” I said even as I resisted blinking back the tears threatening to spill.
He scoffed, but the sound was more amused than annoyed. “Name’s Jack. And I wouldn’t ever suggest such a thing, Counselor,” he said .
“A wise decision,” I said, with bravado I didn’t feel.
In fact, I didn’t feel anything.
And maybe that was for the best.
Going numb had saved me more times than I could count, but I’d told myself that I was past that.
I was convinced that the little girl I tried to protect was all grown up now and able to take care of herself.
So shutting everything down, denying every emotion, even despair, wasn’t something I needed to do anymore.
But I was doing it now.
Felt myself slipping into that gray, foggy space where I felt like I was outside of my body, watching as life unfolded and not experiencing it.
Why would I want to experience this anyway?
This was everything the movies told me the end of the world would be.
What better time to lose myself than that?
I didn’t have a convincing counterargument, yet I fought to maintain myself…needing to hold onto something.
I didn’t understand it, but I knew, just knew, that if I went to that place again, the Asia I was, the one I’d fought so hard to become, would be lost.
Probably forever.
And that was a fate worse than whatever those people would have done to me.
“You still with me, Counselor?”
Jackson’s voice seemed closer now. When I looked up, I realized he stood even closer.
When I locked eyes with him, saw how close he was, I threw myself into his arms before I could even consider stopping.