Eighteen
Asia
“You don’t have to go,” I whispered when he walked away.
Ugh. Shut the fuck up, Asia!
I slammed my mouth closed, refusing to say anything else that might make me look more pathetic than I already felt.
“I’m not,” Jackson said.
I watched as he continued, his back strong, muscled, and delectable-looking.
He returned with one of the judge’s absurdly expensive washcloths in his hand. I almost melted again when he gently wiped his cum off my thighs, his touch unexpectedly tender.
When he finished, he returned to the bathroom, and I scrambled to dress. No way was I having whatever conversation was sure to come with no panties on.
Jack did the same, though his black sweatpants pulled my thoughts back to dangerous places.
Like he had since the very first time I saw him, Jack met my eyes. “That was reckless,” he said.
My anger was instantaneous, sharp, and hot. I fought to keep my voice level. “If you’re about to lecture me, don’t,” I said, my voice wobbly in a way that made me want to scream.
Oh, I fucking hated this.
Vulnerability was against my religion.
Admitting it was a cardinal fucking sin.
Another horrible thought occurred to me. “And I swear, if you apologize…”
Jack did the most unexpected thing.
He gave me a full, beautiful smile. Then he laughed—laughed—the smoky, rich sound doing all kinds of things to my stomach.
I should have been offended, but I somehow knew he wasn’t laughing at me. “I’m not about to lecture you, Asia. And what would I apologize for?”
I scoffed, my anger dropping to annoyance, mostly at myself. “You know the usual bullshit. You got caught in the moment. It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t happen again…”
“Most of that’s true. No point in spelling it out,” he said.
“Most?”
“Yeah most. Because it can definitely happen again. I hope it does. But we’re not doing the self-flagellation and weird apology thing. We’re adults. We’re in a fucking nightmarish situation. Something happened, and it was something that both of us wanted. Doesn’t need to be more.”
He went quiet for a moment, then continued.
“It can’t be more,” he said softly.
It was the truth, but I could probably have gone for lies.
No, that wasn’t true. Better to know where I stood—and where I didn’t, than do something stupid like get attached.
Jack was right. We were in a nightmare, and I needed him to survive. So Jack might not be an emotional support, but I’d take what he offered.
It was enough.
It had to be.
“I get it, Jackson,” I finally said.
“Do you?” He sounded skeptical.
“I do,” I responded, my voice daring him to argue.
“So we know where we stand?” he asked.
“We do,” I said.
“Good.” He smiled as pushed me back against the table and kissed my neck. “Now where were we?”
Jack
“What shall we have this morning?” Asia asked.
We’d been at the judge’s house for five days and had fallen into something of a rhythm.
Maybe too much of one.
The radio transmission kept repeating for three days before it stopped altogether. And the random shooting was a constant soundtrack for our day.
But somehow, we made something of days, mostly me checking supplies like a mental patient while Asia took on domestic duties.
“You don’t have to cook every day,” I said.
I don’t know why I felt compelled to say that, but I did. Asia didn’t say anything else, but I knew she felt like she owed me, and my mind rebelled against the idea of her taking care of me as payment.
“Well, it’s that or chew my fingernails until they bleed, so I guess we’ll make the last of these eggs,” she said.
I nodded, then set off on my daily routine.
Through some kind of miracle, the power and water still worked. But I didn’t trust the judge’s blinds. I was paranoid about someone seeing a light from outside, and Asia was sick of me questioning her every time she turned on a flashlight.
She found some painter’s cloths and tape and told me we were going to cover the windows. It was irritating because the windows were twelve feet high, and I had to send Asia up the ladder .
No, that wasn’t true, I thought as I walked to the basement and checked the garage doors. She insisted on climbing the damn ladder.
Said that if I fell, there was nothing she’d be able to do, but if the reverse happened, we’d have a shot.
I eventually came around to her way of thinking, but I didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
Dead people were walking, but the thought of Asia getting hurt fucked me up.
I fucking hated admitting it, but I cared about her.
Wanted her to be safe.
Wanted it more than anything.
Except Evan.
That thought cut deep.
Reminded me of who I let down.
I was doing…whatever it was I was doing with Asia, but I had other priorities—someone who depended on me.
Asia complicated things, and every meal, every good hour of sleep, every moment with her was a betrayal.
My check of the lower floors revealed everything was still locked up tight, so I ventured up to the third floor and quickly peeked out into the neighborhood.
Everything was as it had been since we’d arrived.
Still.
Eerily silent.
No hint of any of those things around.
Other than the shooting, no sign of other people, either.
I couldn’t say whether that was good or bad, and that not knowing was what kept me on edge.
This place worked out so far, but I couldn’t allow myself to get comfortable.
I also couldn’t be rash.
Survival was the first step in getting back home to Evan, so I couldn’t just go off half-cocked. I needed to keep my wits about me and be ready for whatever. And I needed to make a plan to get to him.
I looked out of the window one last time, doing a quick sweep of the supplies, and then I walked back to the kitchen.
My heart thudded at the sight of Asia.
I should’ve been used to my reaction to her by now. But I still wasn’t .
She made me feel things.
I fucking hated that, too.
Before I met Asia, I was numb. I didn’t see it at the time, but it was undeniable now. Emotions bombarded me from every direction.
Pure, unadulterated joy at seeing her smile.
Anger at the thought of something happening to her.
Frustration at her stubbornness.
Lust of the kind that went beyond a desire for physical release. This lust was primal, stirring me on levels I didn’t even know existed.
I could have chalked it up to the whole apocalypse thing. On some level that was preferable to the truth. But the fact was, Asia would have had this effect on me whatever the circumstances.
And that scared the shit out of me.
Asia smiled at me, and my heart did that stupid, little thud thing I both loved and despised. “I hope you like omelets. I didn’t ask,” she said.
“At this point, you should know I’ll eat just about anything,” I responded.
She gave me that impish grin, and I found myself laughing, proving my own point .
What was there to laugh about on an ordinary day? Let alone now, when literally, the entire world was up for grabs?
I didn’t know. But being with her brought this out of me.
Made a smile seem natural.
Even meaningful.
But that didn’t change what I needed to do.
“I want to try the radio again,” I said after we finished breakfast.
She nodded, though I noticed her trepidation. We tried it every day, and every day, we were greeted with the same disconcerting static.
“Maybe there’ll be something new today,” she said.
She’d said the same thing for the past three days, and each time, it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself, not me.
I just murmured noncommittally, then clicked the radio on.
For a moment, I couldn’t believe my ears.
If you can hear me…
I glanced up at Asia, and she met my eyes. The shock on her face was something I was sure mirrored in mine .
D.C. is gone. We’re getting reports that the military is trying to reconfigure, but nothing reliable.
Nothing’s reliable anymore.
The voice on the radio was shaky but still professional.
Like something out of a horror movie.
But this was all too real.
And the panic, the dread, and most of all, the acceptance I heard in that voice, made my blood run cold.
Take care of each other.
No one else will.
The radio clicked and there was a crackle of static.
Then those words came again.
This is not a test…
I looked at Asia, who stared at the radio, a myriad of emotions crossing her features.
She looked up at me, and in the next breath, threw herself into my arms.
I held her.
“Shh,” I whispered against her head.
She held me tighter, her shoulders shaking.
I pulled back a fraction and saw that her face was wet with tears .
I would do anything not to see it.
But there was nothing I could do.
That reality burned in my chest.
I wouldn’t let it stand. Because it wasn’t true.
I could do fuck all about what the world had become.
Couldn’t make her happy.
But I could keep her alive.
I would keep her alive.
And maybe, just for a few fleeting moments, I could make her feel good.
I pulled her shirt and bra over her head at once. Before they hit the floor, I had my mouth on her throat and my hands anchored on her tits, roughly kneading her flesh until she whimpered.
I broke the kiss and kept my mouth against her cheek as I spoke.
“Say you need me,” I breathed into her skin. “Say it.”
This was supposed to be about her, but some dark part of me needed her words like I needed air.
“You know I do,” she whispered low, her voice trembling with something that felt much too much like shame.
“That’s not good enough.” I pinched her nipple hard enough to make her cry out.
She sighed, and then she broke. “I need you, Jack. I need you so bad.”
She was talking about this, these few desperate moments when we could forget, but it was enough. I gave her a vicious kiss, all tongue and teeth, as I shoved my hand between her legs.
Didn’t bother with finesse. Just pushed her pants down her shapely hips and slid a finger under the thin cotton covering her sex.
“Jesus, Asia,” I groaned when I felt how wet she was. “All this for me?”
“Uh-huh,” she whispered.
I tweaked her nipple again. “Not good enough.”
She let out a pouty sigh.
I tweaked her nipple again, and this time soothed the sting with my tongue.
“It’s for you, Jackson,” she said.
I licked her nipple again. “Good girl.”
“Jack, please,” she moaned, as I fumbled with my pants.
I wanted to slam into her, but forced myself to go slow, draw it out, making her lose her mind.
She gripped my shoulders tight, and when I was fully seated, she wrapped her legs around my waist.
I dropped my head against her shoulder and held her. “Fuck,” I whispered, forcing myself to be still.
Determined to take it slow.
And I did, rocking into her in a soft rhythm that had her panting.
When I felt the telltale flutter in her pussy, I pulled back and stared down into her face. “Look at me. I want to watch you while I make you come,”
She clenched her pussy, choking my cock in her heat. “Then fuck me harder,” she moaned against my ear.
I shifted her until she was on top. Then, I smacked her ass, the sharp sound of flesh against flesh the perfect soundtrack for this moment. “Greedy girl,” I said as I nipped at her shoulder.
I slammed into her brutally and was rewarded with her keening cry and she came.
I fucked her through it, and as she came down, I reached my peak. I pulled out and exploded against her belly, painting her soft brown skin with my cum.
For a moment, there was nothing. Just ragged breathing, the pounding of our hearts.
Then she found my lips, planting a soft, lingering kiss there.
But when I looked in her eyes again, I again saw those hints of despair.
The contrast between the pain there and softness of her sweat-soaked skin was so sharp, it made my chest ache.
I wanted to comfort her.
Promise her everything would be okay.
The words wouldn’t come, so I did the only thing I could and kissed her.