Twenty
SCARLETT
A nd the sweet hell continues. Week after week of continuous homework and endless studying. They weren’t kidding when they said Servite Academy was the top College Preparatory School in the state. The load of work and assignments we have to turn in is maddening. I spent the entire week preparing to recite my first monologue of the semester.
After much consideration, I’ve rewritten mine about five times. I've finally went with the one I had initially written. Sitting nervously in my chair, I tap my fingers on the desk in front of me when I catch Ace’s stare on me as I keep fidgeting. The voices all around me silence as Macallan walks into the classroom just as the first bell rings. He sets his briefcase on his desk and walks around to the front of his desk leaning back against it. He’s wearing a dark red sweater today under his black blazer, his brown hair perfectly combed, and dark eyes behind his spectacles. I look at him and his gaze locks with mine. I really hope he doesn’t make me go first .
“Mr. Servite. You’re up first,” he says sternly.
I hear Ace grunt as I exhale the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in.
“Don’t look so relieved, Ms. Steele, you’re up next,” he says grinning at me.
Ace stands and saunters over to the front of the class, causing all eyes of both the female and opposite sex to follow him. He clenches his paper in his hands and sets it on Macallan’s desk all the while never letting his gaze leave Macallan’s. He turns toward the class and instantly begins reciting his monologue.
“Scarlet. Crimson. Cerise. Bordeaux. Red is the color of insanity. The color of the passion I feel for you. The color of the flames of hell’s raging inferno. The color of a wicked fire burning bright and wild. Which in a sense isn’t it all the same? I prick my fingers on your silky thorns, but I relish in the sweetness of your taste. For both blood and wine are red. And you are now my favorite flavor. Red is the blood of the wrath I will drown in to keep you safe, and I’ll need the wine to keep me sane. My angel, you are what keeps me sound, for if you are not mine, the blood will shed from my eyes and the wine will drive me insane. For you are an angel in this hell on earth. I am the serenity in your chaos. You are the fuel to my eternal fire. Together we are the perfect match. One created in limbo, the space between heaven and hell. You are the angel that makes me want to follow you to heaven. But it is me who will drag you down with me to hell. ”
The class remains silent as Ace finishes his monologue. But my eyes burn with tears threatening to spill, like a broken dam that can’t be stopped. He never once looked away from me. The devil spoke to the angel. He wrote his monologue for me.
A monologue of love. A monologue of hate. A message of warning. A ballad of passion. All the while I wrote mine for her. As always, it’s her that haunts my every choice. I will need to re-write my monologue to turn into Macallan because the one I will recite today is not the one I’ve written in front of me.
Macallan clears his throat as he steps toward Ace.
“Thank you, Mr. Servite, that was poetic. However, I can’t quite decide if the emotion you were trying to convey is love, or hate?”
“It’s up for the audience to interpret, Professor Macallan,” he says before heading back to his seat.
All eyes follow him back and land on me as he takes his seat beside me. The room remains silent and I look away from him not knowing how to react.
“Very well, that was remarkable. It will be hard to beat. Ms. Steele, if you will,” he says, motioning to the podium at the front of the room.
I slowly stand walking toward the front of the room, and I can hear my classmates snicker as I make my way past them.
“Was it a coincidence his monologue started with her name?” I hear someone whisper.
“I told you they were like together, together,” says another.
“Poor girl, she’s just another charity case. I mean he has Carrington, what the hell would he want with her?”
I hand Macallan my paper and he raises an eyebrow at me as he glares down at the title, “ Madam Mother ”. He’s about to be a hell of a lot more confused when I recite a completely different monologue.
I walk over to the back side of the podium and lift my gaze to meet Ace who gazes at me. Here it goes, Horseman. Two can play this game .
“I have seen ugly. I have seen beauty. Beauty in those who were branded ugly, and ugly in those who were deemed beautiful. I’ve seen angels in devilish faces, and I’ve seen the devil in even the most angelic. I’ve witnessed grace but have also fallen deep into the clutches of evil. I am an angel. I am the devil. Sometimes I’m neither. Other times I’m both. But mostly I’m in between. I am limbo. Stuck between two worlds, not quite fitting into either. I am as bad as bad can be, and as good as it can get. Sometimes I am all shades. Sometimes I’m a shadow of black and white. But mostly I am a fire burning scarlet red. I am all, for so many things I am. I have been privy to the evil on earth, but the more I hurt the more deadly I get. I am filled with poison. But blessed with beauty. I am cursed with rage. But blessed with self-control. I will survive my descent through the gates of hell, and its burning inferno, because the fire within me burns stronger and brighter than the flames of hell itself. I will not fear the fire, some do, but I won’t. Instead, I will become one with the fire, for we are the same. Two unpredictable, untamable, and volatile forces running wild and free. And I will wear my scars proudly. The scars made from the torment of your words, the torture of your actions, the agony that is you. It will be my dazzling dress made of hellfire. They told me to be careful. To never trust a pretty face. For the devil himself was once a beautiful angel too.”
Just as with Ace, the class is silent as I finish my monologue. Ace never once let his eyes stray from mine. I walk around the podium about to head to my seat when Macallan speaks.
“Bravo, Miss Steele, I must admit I’m impressed. But might I ask what emotion you were conveying as it is hard to understand from your paper here.” I look at him as he smirks at me holding my paper up to me. Ignoring him, I turn toward the class, my eyes connecting once again with Ace as I answer.
“Regret.”
Another five students recite their monologues to the class, however none as exciting as Ace’s and mine. Love. Fear. Joy. Sadness. Anger. All mundane emotions. The same kid I spoke to the other day, the one with the ferret, I even think he got a few tears.
I stopped myself from looking at Ace for the rest of the class hoping to erase what just happened between us. Our monologues almost mirrored one another.
He, the devil, spoke to an angel. And I, a tainted angel, unafraid of the devil.
The bell rings and everyone hurries out the door to their next class. I pack my things away and head toward the door but Macallan stops me before I can exit.
“Miss Steele, a word.”
I notice Ace stops at the door at Macallan’s words. I turn to him and approach his desk. Ace walks toward us but halts when Macallan lifts his hand.
“Mr. Servite, I don’t think you want to be late to your second period. I believe Professor Hastings is more of a stickler for tardiness than I am.”
Ace turns and rushes out of the room slamming the door behind him as I turn back to Macallan and I know he notices my uneasiness.
“Not to worry, Miss Steele. I’ll write you a note, so Hastings doesn’t bother you.” He stands and walks toward the side of the desk leaning against it, my paper in his hand. “I think there may have been some confusion while turning in your paper. You see I was perplexed while listening to your monologue when I couldn’t follow along.”
“I will rewrite it tonight and turn it in on Monday if I may. I had a last-minute change of heart and realized the monologue I recited was better suited for the circumstances.”
“I see, and might I say it was. Well, of course then, I expect to see it on my desk first thing Monday morning.” He scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I reach out to grab it, but he doesn’t instantly let go. “You must be careful, Miss Steele. Was I anyone else, I may have confused your monologue to be a response to Mr. Servite’s,” he says, a smug grin on his face.
“It wasn’t,” I reply angrily.
“Yes, well for your sake I hope that’s true.”
“Is there something you’d like to say to me, Professor Macallan, because quite frankly I believe you do.” I’m irritated by his insinuations.
“No, of course not. I just mean Wallace Servite has quite a reputation. The boy means trouble. Wouldn’t like a sweet girl like you to get mixed into that.”
“Well, thanks for looking out, Professor Macallan, but I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”
“Of course, Miss Steele, my apologies. I can see that now.”
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say, rushing out the door.
At lunch I catch up with Kai and Jax in the courtyard before heading together into the dining hall. We grab our lunches, this time I went with grilled chicken tacos from the Mexican food section, and head over to the table where Jade, Ruby, and Stella are already seated and eating. As we sit down, I turn to Stella who looks at me with a nervous look on her face. I raise a brow asking her what’s wrong, but she looks around the table before leaning into me.
“I heard about your little monologue war with Ace,” she whispers to me.
How the hell could she have already heard about that? I look at her questioningly and she shrugs.
“Leigh texted me.”
Ahh, I had forgotten Leighton, i.e., the gossip queen, is in our homeroom class. I shrug my shoulders at her, playing off what really happened.
“He wrote a monologue, I wrote a monologue, we recited them in class. It’s no big deal.”
“Leigh said his monologue was about you and well…”
I interrupt her before she finishes. “And you’re going to believe Leighton the liar when I’m telling you it was no big deal?” I say a little too loudly causing the rest of the table to turn to us.
“No, of course not. I’m sorry. Leigh just looks for drama in everything.”
We turn back to eat, and nobody questions what we’re talking about, instead we argue about whether we’re going to be attending week two of the Halloween festivities.
Stella and Jade argue we must because why wouldn’t we go to a party. Jade also mentions it’s going to be her first actual date with Liam, the quarterback, and she needs us there as backup in case she needs an escape. She’s sweet on him but it looks like Liam Walker, bonafide player, has turned out to be a clinger.
As we are debating if it’s worth another run-in with the Horsemen and their queens, we’re interrupted by none other than the kings themselves.
“Speak of the devil and he doth appear,” I say, not bothering to turn around as I feel them scowling behind me.
“You’d be lucky if it were just the devil, but darling, we are much worse,” Bass says, and I see Jade’s body suddenly tense as she scowls up at him.
I turn and notice it’s only Bass, Alek, and Beck who are before us. Standing up I face them, meeting Bass’s angry glare.
“To what do I owe this displeasure,” I say mockingly.
“Just a warning, you all better be at the party tomorrow night.”
“And why would we want to attend?” Jade asks.
“Trust me, Wolfe, you wouldn’t want to miss it.”
At that, Bass turns around and heads back to their table at the end of the courtyard, Alek and Beck following closely behind him.
“Well, that settles it, we’re not going,” I say, causing everyone to laugh.
“Have you talked to Drake?” Kai asks me as we walk together to our fifth period class.
I haven’t seen Drake since I ran into him coming out of the Headmaster’s office on Monday after the incident with Ace outside Macallan’s room. Drake, of course, was suspended and given a written warning, strike one of the three that will get us kicked out of the academy. Guilt is eating me up inside and causing me to stay away from him and I haven’t talked to him since the altercation. He’ll be back at school on Monday but I’m also hoping I get to see him tomorrow night.
“He’s been ignoring my calls and messages. I think it’s best if I give him time to cool down. He was super pissed about Ace and how he’s constantly around me. I don’t want him to get into any more trouble because of me.”
“Yeah, he’s been in a foul mood. He’s had classes all week down in the Headmaster’s wing, and detention during lunch and after school. A bit much for throwing a punch if you ask me,” Kai says.
“Yeah, if he hadn’t thrown a punch at the Headmaster’s son.”
Saturday night is once again time for another Halloween fiasco. Not sure what this town’s obsession with Halloween is, but whatever. The theme tonight is “Gods and Monsters,” and is based on the gods and monsters of Greek mythology, and get this, it’s a couple’s theme party. To my surprise, it’s also being held down by the private beach on the outskirts of the academy. According to Stella, this time around, however, the beach houses will not be open for the party, so instead we all have to freeze our asses off along the beach.
It’s mid-October now and even though the days are still quite warm, the nights are cool and breezy.
I haven’t seen Ace since Friday after what happened during Macallan’s class, and tonight, I finally get to see Drake, so I decide no costume is the way to go. This is based on the uncertainty of whether Drake and I still qualify as a couple after the argument we had, and that I can’t seem to stop making out with Ace.
I’m honestly not sure I’m even going to attend. The theme’s stupid, just an excuse to be dressed pretty much naked, wrapped in sheets and foliage. I don’t believe in any gods, and have enough monsters inside me, no need to transform into one.
Walking into the living room, I find Jade and Stella watching one of the Halloween movies. I head over to the couch and sit beside Jade stealing some popcorn out of her bowl.
“Which one is this?”
“The first one of course, it’s the best one. There’s something about Michael,” she says, biting her lip.
Stella and I turn to each other, a confused look on our faces.
“Must be because he reminds you of a certain silver eyed giant,” I say referring to Bass who stands well over six feet, and her obvious attraction to him.
She glares at me, a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. That gets me a handful of popcorn kernels to the head. Stella and I laugh causing her to throw more.
“Don’t waste the snacks,” I shout, chuckling .
“Come to think of it, my cousin is pretty mysterious and broody, always sulking around, permanent scowl plastered on his perfect face,” Stella says, smirking at Jade.
“I wouldn’t know,” she answers back. “I pay little attention to him.”
At Jade’s blatant lie Stella and I laugh hysterically. “Yeah right, just like Stella isn’t majorly crushing on Kai,” I say, raising a brow at her.
“Hey, leave me out of it. Besides, it’s not as bad as your denial about you and Ace totally happening.”
I glare at her, deciding to drop the conversation not wanting to admit the number of times I’ve kissed Ace. “Whatever, I’m gonna go shower,” I say, getting up and heading toward the bathroom.
As I enter the hall, I can hear them giggling and whispering, “I told you she wants him.” Fuck, they might just be right.
Heading to my closet after my long shower, I decide on a pair of old black, ripped jeans, some high-waist fishnets that will peek out above my jeans and through the holes on the legs, and a black cropped, tube top. I pair the outfit with my black laced boots, a jean jacket, black-winged liner, and a dark lipstick, looking like I stepped out of a ninety’s grunge magazine.
I take the jacket off and drape it over my arm, taking it with me just in case. It’s probably cold out so I figure it's not worth the risk of freezing my ass off.
I’m spraying my cherry and vanilla scented body spray when I hear a loud knock on my window, sounding as if something has hit it. I slowly make my way over and see Drake standing in the grass looking up at me. I can’t help but smile at the sight of him. He nods his head and signals for me to come down. Grabbing my cell phone and shoving it in my jacket pocket I walk out of my room and out of the building.
As I step outside an icy breeze hits my chest causing me to shiver slightly. It’s about 8 o’clock, the sun is now set, the chilly October breeze rustling through the trees. I turn and see Drake standing by a tree at the far end of the yard, and make my way over to him nervously, remembering how we left things the last time we were together. His back is to me, a hand running through his dark hair, a cigarette in the other. He brings the cig to his mouth blowing out a cloud of smoke as I approach.
“Smoking kills,” I say as I come up beside him. I hear him laugh slightly but he doesn’t turn toward me.
“Wishful thinking,” he replies, passing it to me. I take it, bringing it to my mouth inhaling and blowing out a cloud of smoke. I know smoking is gross, a bad habit, but it’s one I could get away with.
“What are you doing here, Dragon?”
He turns his head to me unsure of what I mean.
“Came to talk,” he says nonchalantly.
I take another hit of the cig looking up into the night sky. It’s so peaceful out here, despite the fact there is a raging party occurring not even two miles away.
“You know I’m no good at that,” I answer.
He places a hand on my chin tilting my head up to look at him. His eyes are glossy and red rimmed as if he were smoking something else before coming here.
“Then hear me out.” He leans into me, his lips gently caressing mine. He smells of smoke, weed, and something else. Something musky, something completely him. I lean into him placing my arms around his neck, bringing him in closer as I open my mouth for him, and our tongues begin dancing together.
“Dragon, please,” I whisper. At my words he stops, pulling away from me.
“I’m sorry, I just,” he grins and shakes his head. Taking a step back he runs both hands through his hair and begins laughing sardonically. “It’s him, isn’t it,” he says, shaking his head.
“What?” I ask, but I know what he’s saying, the look in his eyes gives it away .
“What happened between the two of you? Why does he look at you as if he knows you?”
“Drake, don’t,” I say, stepping toward him.
“What happened to us, Scar? You used to tell me things, confide in me. I’ve always been there for you. Never judged you. This fucker comes around, treating you like shit, and you start hiding things from me, keeping secrets. Why him?”
His eyes are now low and glossier than before. It breaks something inside of me to see my fierce dragon this way. Broken, confused, full of sorrow. I need to tell him everything. My past with Agent Servite, my mom, everything that’s happened with Ace. It’s not fair to keep him in the dark. He’s right, he’s always been there for me. It’s my turn to be there for him. So, I turn to face him.
“Walk with me, Dragon. I’ll tell you everything.”