Chapter 16
Riley’s heart drops into his stomach at the confession, finally understanding every look of pain, every avoidance of telling him about her family.
He finally understands why she not only had no regard for her life but asked them to end it.
He doesn’t care about anything but getting to her, doing whatever he can to make her listen to him.
“Mikey…” Riley says, eyes still locked onto Liz. “Mikey, you need to leave. Don’t say a thing to anyone, just go.”
“I’m not leav—”
“GO!” Riley yells, interrupting his objections.
Liz watches as Mikey backs up to the door and silently slips out, knowing he’s going to call for help; she knows she needs to make a choice.
Riley looks at Liz and knows the look she has on her face, he has seen it before after a particularly brutal mission. Her eyes are closed, every muscle in her face is relaxed, her lips curve upward in a serene smile, knowing she will be at peace soon.
“Eyes on me, princess,” Riley shouts, riddled with fear.
Liz’s eyes snap open, looking anywhere but at the man inching his way to her.
“Before you pull that trigger, you need to listen to me. You owe me that much.” He looks at the gun, then the hand holding it as she starts to shake again.
Riley knows he only has one shot at this, and he’s going to make it count.
“I’ve lost people too: a sister and a nephew.
” He takes a breath, trying to compose himself before continuing.
“They were the only family I had. After I enlisted, I didn’t get to see them as much, but every day I had free, I would be there.
When they promoted me to special forces, our helo got shot down, and I was captured.
They found out who I was and went after my family.
There was nothing I could do to save them. ”
Liz meets his gaze, his eyes reflecting her pain. He takes one last step, their bodies practically touching.
“It may not be my wife and child, but I carry that pain with me every day, and I promise, it gets easier.”
He reaches his hand up, slowly, as if diffusing a bomb, and puts it on the gun.
Liz loosens her grip, letting Riley take the gun from her hand.
With record speed, he pulls it from her head, releasing the clip as he does.
He pops the bullet out of the chamber and throws the gun into the void behind him.
He’s on her in an instant, pulling her into his chest as violent sobs wrack her body.
Liz lets him pull her in, finally letting out all the pain she’s been holding.
Riley holds her, making sure she is safe and cared for while she does.
He rubs his hand up and down her back, trying his best to comfort her, his heart breaking a little more with each tear she sheds.
“It’s going to be okay, princess. I’m not giving up on you,” he says as he places a kiss on the top of her head. His words only make her sob harder.
Riley slowly moves them to the couch, his arms never leaving her as he sits them down.
Liz curls into a ball next to him, softly sobbing into his chest, refusing to let her go.
Eventually, her crying slows, and an eerie silence fills the room.
Riley looks at the clock; 3:27 am. He yawns, the last nine hours have him utterly drained.
He looks down at the woman sleeping on him, knowing she can’t be alone right now, he stands, gently sliding her from his chest onto the couch, quickly picks up the discarded weapon and quietly goes to his room.
Riley takes a few minutes to grab her blanket and put it on his bed, then quickly strips his gear off.
He takes his vest and tucks it back into his closet before sliding the door shut and locking it for good measure.
He slips into a pair of sweatpants and a tight t-shirt before heading back into the living room.
Riley silently walks back to where Liz is still sleeping.
Even in her sleep, her brows are pinched together, pain is etched into every line of her face.
He bends down, slides one arm under her waist and the other under her neck, lifting her into him before carrying her to his bed.
He lays her down as gently as he can, hoping she will stay asleep, and pulls her blanket over the top of her before walking to the other side of the bed and climbing in.
He lays in the dark room for a while, listening to the shallow breaths of the woman beside him, wondering how he’s going to deal with this come morning. She will never forgive herself, that much he knows.
He could see her caring nature slip out every time they were together.
Despite claiming to not care about them, she was always looking for Mikey if he wasn’t around, and when he finally did come back, she would not so subtly make sure he ate that day.
When Riley got his cheek cut open from letting Mikey demonstrate a new technique, she was right there making sure he was okay before scolding Mikey for being too rough.
He saw the guilt that plagued her the first time she saw him outside of her cell, her mesmerizing green eyes shot right to that spot on his shoulder.
Try as she may to hide it, she is full of compassion, driven to her breaking point by desperation.
Liz starts to stir, tossing and turning before finding Riley again.
She scoots over and he instinctively lifts his arm where she wastes no time moving herself closer.
She lets out a small whimper, nuzzling her head onto his chest and tossing her leg over his waist. Riley sighs, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, the other goes to her thigh, gently rubbing it, holding her close as they both drift off to sleep.
Riley wakes in his dark room to Liz still wrapped tightly in his arms. Not ready to let her go, he just lays there, listening to her dainty snores, gently stroking his hand up and down her arm.
He runs through every possible scenario that could happen when she finally wakes, each one ending in Liz being hurt.
Riley loses track of time, too focused on what needs to happen when Liz wakes up.
He is only pulled from his thoughts when Liz starts to stir.
She shifts, still mostly asleep, snuggling closer, letting out a happy sigh when she’s satisfied with her new position.
Her delicate hand strokes his broad chest, then goes deathly still.
Liz gives no warning before she jolts awake, scrambling to get away from Riley.
Her breathing is rapid, like waking up from a nightmare.
She freezes, trying to remember what happened the night before.
She was holding a gun to Mikey, turning it on herself, and Riley taking it.
She looks over to where he now sits. The dim light filtering in through the cracked bathroom door provides barely enough light to see his eyes pinned on her, full of concern.
“Deep breath, love,” he says, having no idea what he is supposed to say or feel.
She does what he says, taking a big breath in through her mouth, holding it in for a count of five, before letting it out through her mouth. Everything comes flooding back and there is nothing she can do to stop the fresh round of tears from flowing.
“I’m so sorry,” she manages through choked sobs. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” She keeps fighting to breathe, doing anything she can to calm herself enough to explain. She needs him to know how much she regrets what she did before he turns her over to the general.
“I didn’t… I didn’t think I had a choice.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, needing to ask but scared to hear the answer. “Is Mikey okay? Did I… Did I hurt him?” she asks, opening her eyes and looking back to Riley. “Please tell me he is okay.”
Even in the dark he can see how much this is hurting her.
Each word she says makes it more obvious she is drowning in guilt.
“C’mere,” he says, moving closer on the bed, needing to hold her again.
She quickly looks away, unable to face him after what she did.
“I need this as much as you do,” he says, hiding his pain.
She peers over at him, wiping the tears from her eyes before backing herself into his waiting arms.
“He’s okay. I’m sure he will check in soon.
” Riley gives her a small squeeze before dropping his arms and pulling himself from the bed.
He stalks over to the closet, unlocking it before sliding the door open.
He bends down, shuffling through whatever is in there, before standing back up with his cell phone in hand.
Unsure if the light should be on or off, he thinks back to all the times he fucked up, he didn’t want anyone to see him so he hid his shame in the dark.
Riley navigates the dark room back to Liz and sits next to her, causing the bed to dip just enough to force her to lean against him.
“When are you taking me to the general? Will I have time to apologize to Mikey?” Liz whispers, filled with shame.
She pushes herself back and brings her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them.
Riley looks at her sitting there staring at the empty wall beside her.
The same way she did when he first brought her in, utterly defeated, and something breaks in him all over again.
Riley unlocks his phone, and types something in before tossing it onto the other side of the bed. Standing, he says, “I told Mikey to get here. When he does, we need to figure a few things out.”
“I’m sorry, Riley.”
His chest tightens hearing her say his name, the anguish in her voice enough to make him forget every event that led to this point. He shakes off the thought, standing and pacing the small room, happy he tossed his gear in the closet rather than the floor.
Liz dries her eyes and stands, willing her legs to move her to where he’s pacing.
He turns and almost walks right into her.
She looks at him, green eyes glowing in the dark room, tears reforming.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke into your things.
I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. And I’m so, so fucking sorry I broke your trust in me.
” Tears form a steady stream down her cheeks.
Riley takes a step, wanting nothing more than to tell her how much he understands her pain and why she did it, but before he can, a loud knock comes from the other room.
“Sit on the bed and don’t move until I come back.”
She watches him leave, closing the door behind him. Liz breathes deeply, the smell of sandalwood calming her nerves slightly. She can barely make out what’s being said, too scared to move.
Riley comes back in, seeing her sitting in the same spot he left her in, he says. “C’mon, we need to talk.”
Liz follows him out of the room. Her eyes lock onto Mikey sitting at the table. He glances at Liz, his deep blue eyes meeting hers, and she doesn’t miss the sadness in them. Mikey stands, walking into the living room, trying to meet them halfway.
Something breaks seeing him after everything she did. She takes one step, then another before throwing herself into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, violently sobbing.
He reluctantly wraps his arms around her, lightly rubbing her back. She lets him go and tries to compose herself.
Deep breath in… Hold… Deep breath out.
“I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am,” she begins, sniffling, hoping he will find it in his heart to forgive her before they hand her over.
“What I did to you was horrible, but I need you to know I would have never intentionally hurt you.”
Deep breath in… Hold… Deep breath out.
“I thought I would never be let go, then you found him, and I was out of time. I needed a way out. I wish I could take back what I did to you, but I can’t.
I can only hope you will forgive me.” Liz holds her hands out in front of her.
Ready for what she knows is coming she quietly says, “I won’t fight you.
I deserve everything the general is going to do. ”
Mikey takes a step and wraps his arms around her, squeezing her tight enough to hurt.
He places a gentle kiss on the top of her head before letting her go.
“That dick won’t ever get his hands on you, darlin,” he says, forcing himself to continue at the sight of her crying again.
“Believe me, I’m pissed you pulled that shit, but I know why you felt it was your only option.
” He walks to the kitchen, and pulls out a chair, loudly dragging the legs across the tiles.
“If we’re ever going to trust you again, you need to tell us everything.”