12. Alek #2
Tommy nods slowly. “We weren’t together very long, but longer than I’d ever been with anyone.
Six months. I thought…what we had was love, but I’m not sure anymore.
It doesn’t matter though, he died two years ago,” he explains, and I see the way he’s trying to make it out like it’s nothing.
The tightness in his neck and shoulders.
“Tommy,” I tell him. “How did he die?” I watch him take a slow breath.
“It was on a job. I didn’t want him there, but he insisted on being there. He worked as one of our guards,” he says, his voice cracking slightly. “He was shot and there wasn’t anything anyone could do. He got to the hospital too late.”
My heart aches in my chest and I struggle not to lean closer to him, not to slide my arm around his back and draw him in.
“You did care about him,” I remark. “You wouldn’t be struggling to tell me about it if you didn’t.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he asks me. “Of course, I fucking cared about him. But…it was never like this. I never felt…”
“What?” I ask him.
“I never felt like I’d do anything and everything for him. Like I’d even betray my own family if he asked,” Tommy tells me, looking me straight in the eyes.
My throat tightens and I squeeze his forearm.
I don’t say anything, I don’t know what to say. I simply look down away from him and ignore the burning in my eyes. Weakness. I can’t show it.
“Why won’t you look at me?” he asks. “Why do you feel so guilty about what we’ve done?”
I bite my lip and my nails dig into both my jeans and his forearm, but he doesn’t flinch.
“Is it your wife?” he asks me.
My shoulders tighten and my stomach curls inside me.
“Yes,” I reply. “She…” I shake my head. I can’t even say it out loud.
Tommy turns toward me, removing the distance between our hips. His face is so close to mine.
“Tell me,” he insists.
“My wife died five years ago,” I say. “You might have guessed from her headstone that it was sudden. She was young. Younger than I ever expected either of us would…go.” I take a deep breath, and my lip trembles.
Tommy is quiet, simply letting me talk.
“The building we lived in was owned by the Bianchis. They didn’t know I was there; I keep my jobs as low-key as possible and I never, ever, worked with any of the mob.
Especially not Italian mob trying to make a place for themselves in Russia.
” My words come out growled at the end. “I doubt they even knew, or know, that I exist. I like it that way. I always have; but…I didn’t know they owned the building, and that was my mistake.
I never would have put us there if I had. ”
Tommy’s hand covers mine and he squeezes.
“They needed to cover up something. They decided to burn down the entire building,” my voice shakes as I tell him. “In the middle of the fucking night. No survivors. It didn’t matter who was in there. Mothers and their children. My wife.”
My hands ball into fists and I feel tears drip down my cheeks.
“I barely made it out alive, but it was too late for her. If I had gone to bed with her, I’d be gone too,” I choke out the words. “It’s all my fault. I should have known.”
“No,” Tommy says quickly. “It was not your fault. Those bastards lit a building on fire with God knows how many innocent people inside. But it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known, Alek.”
“I should have, I should have known,” I look at him through blurry eyes.
“I should’ve known, Tommy. And now she’s gone, and I…
I feel more drawn to you than I have to anyone in years.
I want to know you too, I want to feel you, for fucks sake.
I want everything, Tommy. I want every single fucking part of you, but how would she feel about it?
Me just moving on when she’s in the fucking ground. ”
“If she loved you, she would want you to move on, Alek,” he tells me. “She wouldn’t want you to punish yourself like this.”
“Maybe she wouldn’t,” I mumble. “Maybe she wouldn’t want me to go after the Bianchi either, she’d want me to stop. She’d want me to live a normal fucking life. But I can’t.”
I shake my head and squeeze my fists together more tightly. I sniffle and blink and try to clear my eyes. “I just can’t. The Bianchi need to pay, Tommy. They need to know what it’s like to lose everything.”
Tommy’s eyes grow darker and darker and he places his free hand on my cheek. “They will, Alek. I’ll help you make sure that they do.”
My aching heart somehow manages to flutter in my chest. I place my hand on the side of his face, and I lean in closer to him, pressing my forehead against his.
“Maybe she would want me to be happy,” I mumble. “But I don’t know how. I don’t know how to do this. I’m terrified if I fall into you, something will happen. I can’t let anything happen to you.”
“Let me show you how,” Tommy tells me. “Maybe…maybe this isn’t betraying my family.
Maybe this is supposed to happen. Fuck, even if it isn’t.
Maybe I don’t care anymore. I just want you, Alek.
I want to feel you, know you, every part of you.
You give me what I need. What no one else seems to be able to give me.
So, maybe I don’t care anymore if it’s right or not. ”
“Show me,” I say.
The next second, his mouth is against mine. His lips capture mine in a warm and firm embrace. He doesn’t overpower me; he gives me room to take the kiss over, and I do.
There’s still tears on my face, but I don’t care. All I care about is the taste of Tommy’s mouth. Our teeth clash together a few times in our hastiness, and I groan into his mouth. My hands find his waist and I take a handful of the back of his shirt into my fist.
Kissing him seems to make everything feel better. The guilt is gone. The pain. All I can feel is the heat spreading through my body from my head to my toes.
I lick his bottom lip as I pull back from the kiss to breathe.
“Dominate me,” Tommy says, “Take me. Own me. You’re the only one I trust to do it.”
“I’ll own you,” I whisper. “I’ll fuck you until you’re a whimpering mess.”
I kiss him again, this time harder and more desperate. I can feel the heat rising between us and my own body reacts in kind. My skin is covered in goosebumps and every inch of me is tingling. I know exactly what I want to do to Tommy, what I need to do.
I need to feel some kind of control of this entire situation. The situation of my life. Dominating Tommaso Dresvanni gives me that control; knowing how much he enjoys it only makes it that much more invigorating.
He kisses me back and I slide my hands up his shirt until I get to his back.
“Do you like the marks I left on your body?” I ask him. “When I cut into you with my knife.”
Tommy groans against my mouth as I speak. “Yes,” he replies.
I take my fingers and I dig them into the scars on his back and he trembles underneath my touch.
Every part of him needs to be mine in this moment. Whether it’s right or wrong doesn’t matter. Maybe I’ll feel differently later, but right now I just want to take him. Every fucking bit.
“No one even knows these marks are on you, just me?” I ask him.
He nods but I dig my nails harder against his back. “Use your fucking words.”
“Yes,” he finally says. “No one but you. Just you. Do you want them to know?”
“I want everyone to know that I’ve been here,” I tell him. “Even though they can’t… I want them to.”
“Maybe they’ll know eventually,” he whispers.
This only spurs me on.
I reach for the bottom hem of his shirt and pull it up and off. Revealing his strong muscular shoulders, soft pecs and all of the gorgeous skin of his. Plenty of it for me to mark.
As I lean down, he tilts his head back and I lick his throat. I bite down on the skin of his neck and suck at it hard. When it pops out of my mouth a red mark is left behind on his skin. Glistening and bruised.
“Look at that mark,” I mumble, letting my hot breath wash against it.
Tommy shivers and slides his hand onto my waist.
I grab his hand and pull it off me, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him off the couch in a second flat. “Tonight, you’re my toy, I play with you how I want to. Do you understand that?” I ask him.
Tommy’s eyes are hooded and dark, his breath already a bit heavy, but he nods and licks his lips. “Yes, Sir.”
Hearing him say that makes my cock twitch. I pull him out of the living room and as if he knows exactly what I’m going to ask next, he motions down the hallway toward the bedroom.
“Good boy,” I croon and drag him into the room. The bed is a four-poster bed, perfect. With dark sheets and duvet, the curtains pulled open ever so slightly letting the moonlight in. Just enough light to see each other.
“I’m assuming you have ropes,” I say as I let go of him.
“Drawer on the right,” he explains. “Everything you need is in there.” His voice is quiet, but excited.
My heart races in my chest. “Take your clothing off, every single piece. I want you naked by the time I turn back around.”
I open the nightstand drawer on the right, and sure enough, there’s several black ropes and other toys stashed away in there.
I smirk to myself as I riffle through them.
I can think of all the fun we can have together with the vibrator, the hand cuffs, and the flogger… but tonight, I’m focused on the ropes.
I pull them out as I hear a belt clink as it hits the hardwood floor.
When I turn back around Tommy is standing at the end of the bed completely naked. I haven’t seen him completely naked in a few days…and not in this light before. His bare body is glistening with a thin sheen of sweat already and my eyes wind down his strong back to his round ass.
“Damn,” I whisper.
I pull myself together, remembering my place here, and I walk around him. I push him by the chest until he’s falling back against the bed, and I watch his hard cock wiggle and slap against his thigh and lower stomach.
“On your back,” I order him. “Arms up.”
Tommy grins at me. “You’re gonna have to make me.”