Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
ATLAS
W ork’s been hell lately—or maybe it’s just me and my damn near obsessive need to be at Nora’s side twenty-four-seven.
Either way, I put in for some of my vacation days at work, and now the next two weeks are all mine.
Well, actually, they’re all Nora’s—even if she doesn’t know it yet.
Our talk the other night got me thinking…
We have a lot to do before our little jellybean gets here, and I figured now’s as good a time as any to get some things in order and maybe even set the nursery up.
Assuming Nora wants to, that is.
“Pip?” I knock before stepping into my room.
She looks up at me and right away, I can tell something’s wrong.
“What is it?”
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” she asks, pointedly ignoring my question.
But her red cheeks, watery eyes, and wobbling chin aren’t things I can ignore.
“That’s not important.” I cross the room and drop to my knees in front of my desk chair, swiveling her to face me.
“Talk to me.”
“Am I even a person?” she asks, sounding so helpless and so frustrated, that I can’t help but want to find a way to fix it, even if I don’t really understand the issue.
“Of course, you are. What does that even mean?”
“All of these job applications want my social security number and a copy of my ID. I…” Her lips quiver as big, fat tears spill over.
“I don’t have any of those things. I don’t even have a birth certificate!”
Shit.
How can I fix this? Think, Atlas, think!
“Don’t cry, Pip. I’ll figure something out.” My words are meant to reassure her, but all they do is make her cry harder.
“How?” she wails, clutching my shirt as she seeks comfort in my embrace.
“How can you? This isn’t even your problem, Atlas.”
I wrap my arms around her and hold her close.
“First of all, anything that upsets you is one-hundred-and-ten percent my problem. As for the how , you leave that to me, okay?”
Nora shakes her head, or she tries to anyway, but with her head tucked under my chin, she really just manages to rub her cheek against my chest. “You can’t just swoop in and solve all of my problems.”
The fuck I can’t, is what I want to tell her, but instead I say, “It’s a joint effort, Pip. A give and take.”
She huffs out an unamused laugh.
“So far, all I do is take.”
I tug her forward as I settle back into a seated position on the floor, pulling her completely onto my lap, silently delighting in her shocked squeals.
“You’ve given me far more than you know, Nora.”
“Like what?” It’s clear from her tone of voice she thinks I’m blowing smoke up her ass.
But I’m not. Nora’s given me so, so much.
“A purpose, for starters. Before you, I was content to just float from one thing to the next, but now I know what I want in life. And that’s thanks to you.”
“And what is it you want?” she asks, her voice soft and small.
Well, shit. Sort of backed myself into a corner, haven’t I?
Here’s to hoping I don’t send her running…
“You, Nora. I want you.” She pulls back and looks up at me, clearly perplexed by my confession.
I cup her cheek, intent on setting her at ease.
“I know it’s a lot to take in and probably seems sudden, but I mean it.”
“But you barely even know me.” Her whispered argument holds no water, though.
“I’d argue to say I know you better than just about anyone else. I know every high and low point of your life. I know your hurts and your fears. I know your dreams, and if you’ll let me, I’ll do my level best to make them all come true. It’s only been weeks, but in my heart, Pip, it feels like years.”
“I…” she starts, but nothing follows.
My chest grows tight as disappointment swells inside of me.
I pushed for too much, too soon.
But that is on me, not her, and I need to make sure she knows that.
“Hey, it’s okay.” I let my hand drop from her cheek, curling my fingers inward to keep from reaching for her again.
“Nothing has to change, Nora. You’re still welcome here, and you’re certainly still wanted here. This arrangement isn’t dependent on you being with me. No matter how things turn out, this will always be your home, do you hear me?”
“What?” She blinks up at me, confusion swirling in her hazel eyes.
“I don’t understand.”
Clearly I’m doing a shit job of explaining myself.
“What I’m trying to say is—if you want me, I’m yours. Hell, I think I’m yours either way. But whether or not you feel the same doesn’t change your status here. This is your home, too, Nora, no matter what.”
“You’re mine?” she asks.
Something about the way she says those two words has hope popping off inside of me like bottle rockets on the Fourth of July.
“Yeah, Pip. I’m yours.”
“Good.” She launches herself at me, looping her arms around my neck as she all but tackles me to the floor.
“Because I’m yours, too, Atlas Wallace. Every single part of me.”
“You mean that?” I ask, skimming my nose over hers.
“Yeah.” She nods before ghosting her lips over mine.
“I mean it.”
And then, she’s kissing me.
Her warm lips dance over mine before she boldly licks her way into my mouth.
I groan as our tongues slide together, happy to sit back and let her take the lead.
Because I know—for now, at least—that’s what she needs.
Control makes Nora feel secure, and I always want to be a safe space for her, especially when we’re intimate.
She tunnels her fingers into my hair, tugging me closer as she sucks on my lower lip.
The motion puts her center right over mine, and I know from her sharp gasp that she feels the steel rod that is currently my dick.
“Shh, it’s fine,” I murmur against her lips.
“Just ignore it.”
Nora flicks her tongue against mine and then rolls her hips.
“What if I don’t want to?”
With a willpower I didn’t know I possessed, I grip Nora’s hips and still her movements.
“Talk to me, Pip. Check in. Where’s your head?”
Her kiss-swollen lips turn down in the most adorable pout as she glares down at me.
Once she sees I’m not budging, she plants one hand on my chest and pushes herself into an upright position.
I groan at the pressure, but we both ignore it.
“This is weird,” she mumbles under her breath before clearing her throat and addressing me.
“I like the way you make me feel—you’re the perfect mix of gentle and assertive. You’re always aware of what I need, even before I am sometimes. I feel safe with you, like I can explore the things you make me feel…”
“And how do I make you feel?” I ask, my heart nearly thumping out of my chest as I wait for her reply.
“Protected. Cherished. Desired. Powerful.” She licks her lips before giving me a wicked grin and rolling her hips again.
“Nora,” I groan, wanting nothing more than to thrust against her, to show her exactly how powerful she truly is.
“You’re all of those things, and so much more.”
She rolls off of me so she’s sitting on the floor beside me.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you ignored my question.” Her tone is teasing, and everything in me aches to sit up and kiss her smiling lips.
It takes me a few seconds to realize she said something—my body is too busy mourning the loss of her heat to fully focus.
“I’m sorry, say that again?” I ask, reaching down to rearrange myself.
Nora giggles and repeats her question.
“Why aren’t you at work?”
“Oh, uh.” I didn’t plan on telling her my plans while flat on my back with a raging erection, but here we are.
“I took some time off, figured we could work on a nursery for the jellybean and?—”
That’s all the explanation I manage before Nora’s back on top of me, kissing the hell out of me, instantly reigniting my need for her.
“You’re so good to me.” She speaks the words against my mouth before teasing the seam of my lips with her tongue.
I open for her instantly, greedily swallowing her small moans as our bodies move together.
“Fuck, Nora, I—” I suck her lower lip into my mouth before my next two words can escape.
Jesus, Atlas. It’s way too soon for that.
“You what?” she asks, breaking our kiss, panting.
“I want you.” Same number of words, same number of letters, but only half the truth.
Because I do want her—but not just her body, I want her heart, her mind, her laughs, her smiles, her dreams. Hell, I want her whole ass her future.
All of it, every single thing she has to offer.
I want it all.
And I’m damn sure willing to put in the time, work, and effort to get it.
Nora deserves the world, and I’m going to be the one to give it to her.
“You have me,” she says, pressing one last lingering kiss to my lips before once again rolling off me.
“But I still don’t have a way to apply for a job.”
Back full circle, I think, sitting up.
“Let me check on something and see if I can find a solution, okay?”
“On what?”
“I’ve got an idea,” I tell her, not wanting to dive into the details of it, because she’ll only worry.
“You think you can hold down the fort for a bit while I see what I can do?”
“Yeah.” Nora nibbles her lip and then nods.
“I can do that.”
I stand and then help her up, pulling her small body into mine for a hug.
“I’ll be back soon, Pip. Maybe I can pick up dinner on my way home.”
She pats her ever-growing belly.
“I’ll never say no to food.”
“I’m thinking Chinese?”
“Lo mein?” she asks excitedly.
“Anything you want, Pip.” I drop a kiss to her forehead.
“Just text me your order.”
The drive out to my dad’s place is uneventful, but I’m on high alert as the house comes into view.
A part of me is expecting to find his truck parked in the driveway, but just like him, it’s nowhere to be seen.
However, the empty yard doesn’t ease the knot in my stomach even a little, because while he might not be here now, the fucker has to be somewhere, and I can’t help but worry about when he’s going to pop back up.
I kill the engine and head for the front door.
It’s locked, but I still have my key, so I let myself in.
The house smells stale, like no one’s been here in a while, probably not since the day I asked Ellis to stop by.
But still, I keep my steps light and my guard up—if anyone shows up here, they’re damn sure not going to get the drop on me.
Not when I have so much goodness waiting on me at home.
Growing up, I remember my dad having a safe in his closet.
I make my way to his bedroom, hoping that it’s still there and—more importantly—that I can get into it.
“Please be there,” I mutter as I enter the closet, breathing a sigh of relief when I see the big, black box in the far corner.
Dropping to my knees in front of it, I try the first set of numbers I can think of—my mom’s birthday—but the lock doesn’t budge.
I try my dad’s birthday next, and then mine, but still nothing.
I turn the dial this way and that, trying to think of another set of numbers to try.
“What if it’s—surely it’s not…” But I try the numbers all the same.
Sure enough, the lock disengages, sending chills down my spine.
The sick fucker’s lock code is my mom’s date of death.
Dread pools in my gut as I retrieve a stack of papers from inside the safe, and it only grows as I shuffle through them.
I sift through a pile of seemingly random newspaper clippings before setting them to the side and opening the manilla folder I grabbed with them.
Inside it, I hit the jackpot, finding not only Nora’s social security card, but also her birth certificate.
Having these should make getting her a state ID a helluva lot easier.
I slide those documents into my back pocket before turning my attention back to the safe.
I have what I came here for, but for some reason, I feel the need to dig a little deeper.
What I find in the next folder knocks the breath out of me— Mom’s death certificate.
Fuck. Even though I know what it’s going to say, I read over it, line by line.
Nothing jumps out at me, until I read the cause of death.
Heart attack, and acute toxicity.
What in the hell does that mean?
I flip to the next page and find a toxicology report.
There’s a whole slew of positive findings, and even though I was fairly young when she died, I know for damn sure she didn’t take as many meds as they have listed.
Shuffling those papers to the side, I see another death certificate…
this one is Grace’s.
It reads damn near identical to my mom’s.
Heart attack, and acute toxicity, followed by an almost perfectly mirrored list of meds.
Does this mean what I think it does?
Something isn’t adding up here.
Hell, a lot of things aren’t.
I set the reports aside, intent on taking them home with me so I can dissect them later, before returning my attention to the safe.
I pull out the remaining contents, a well-worn brown paper bag, some pill bottles, and a passport.
Inside the bag I find a random assortment of things: a blue hair tie, a glittery barrette, a cross necklace, and so on.
Weird but harmless, I suppose.
There’s nothing else useful, so I shove everything other than the documents I’m keeping back into the safe, close the door, spin the lock, and then haul ass out of this house of horrors.
Any time spent here is too long, plus Nora’s at home waiting on me, and I can’t wait to give her the good news.