Chapter 48
CHAPTER 48
ATLAS
I ’m damn near ready to crawl out of my skin by the time our mailbox comes into view.
I have a single-track mind—the only thing I want is to get Nora comfy and cozy, so I can glue myself to her side until she begs me for space.
Because, fucking hell , how am I supposed to let her out of my sight after this?
She’s safe, you eliminated the threat .
He can never hurt her—or anyone else—ever again.
“You excited to be home?” I ask, shaking myself out of my funk as I turn toward my girl, only to freeze at the sight of big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Shit.” I unbuckle my seat belt and slide across the back seat, tucking her into my side.
“What's wrong?”
Heaving sobs rack her small body, as she completely breaks down in the shelter of my arms.
Ellis catches my gaze in the rearview mirror as he turns down our long, winding drive, silently asking if she’s okay.
I lift my brows and shrug, hoping like hell she is.
“I-I just... for a little bit, I didn't think I'd ever be here again. Home. This is my home.” She blinks up at me, her hazel eyes glassy and her pink cheeks slick with tears. “You’re my home.”
“Damn right, I am,” I say before wiping away her still-falling tears and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Her hair is a matted mess, but I’m more than happy to help her comb through it once she’s showered. “And I always will be. You're safe here, and I promise you, Nora, I'll do my level best to never let anything or anyone hurt you ever again.”
Ellis is so silent behind the wheel, it’s almost like it’s just the two of us back here. It’s a small thing, but I’m thankful for the illusion of privacy as he follows the tree lined path to our house.
“You... you know it's not your fault, right?” Nora asks, her voice so soft and small, and yet so strong.
God, this woman. Almost died today but she’s trying to comfort me. I undoubtedly don’t deserve her, but I’m damn sure going to spend the rest of my life showing her how much she means to me.
“Logically, yes.” I suck in a breath through my teeth. “But a part of me can't help but run the what ifs.”
“Let's just be happy you found me.” Nora sighs and snuggles deeper into my side. “Talk about luck.”
I turn to stone as our house finally comes into view. “About that...” I croak, knowing I have to tell her the truth—no matter what.
“Well…” Ellis throws the car into park, but keeps it running. “Why don't y'all head inside and I'll go pick up dinner.” He shifts uncomfortably, unable to meet Nora’s eyes. “Give y'all time to... get settled... and to talk.”
“Because that’s not ominous or anything,” she mutters as I slide my arm from around her to undo her seat belt.
“Wait here, Pip.” I climb out of the back seat before hauling ass to Nora’s side to get the door for her. “Let’s get you inside and comfy and then we can talk, okay?”
She crosses her arms as she regards me, her nose wrinkling as she stares me down. She’s trying to look tough, but I see just how exhausted she is. “I guess.”
“I love you, Nora. Truly.” I offer her my hand and she takes it, allowing me to help her out of the car. “Just… do me a favor and keep an open mind.”
“That’s my cue,” Ellis says, signaling for me to shut the door. I nudge it closed and then turn my attention to the slip of a woman who’s single-handedly become my everything.
“Shower first and then we can talk?” I ask, as we both watch him drive away.
“No.” She plants her hands on her hips. “You can talk while I shower.”
God, I’m glad she still has her fire. My girl’s strong as hell. “Deal.”
I unlock the door and hold it open for Nora before following behind her into the house, pausing to resecure the lock. Every step feels like an eternity—like I’m stuck in some fucked-up limbo, waiting impatiently to learn my fate.
Beads of sweat dot my hairline, and my blood’s fizzy in my veins as I run through all of the possible reactions Nora may have to learning the truth about how I found her—hurt, betrayal, anger, hatred…
Please, please, please don’t let her hate me.
I enter the bathroom only moments after her, shocked to find her with the water already heating as she struggles to undress.
“Pip, let me help you.”
She huffs an annoyed breath at me and narrows her eyes at me, like she wants to tell me no.
I’m not above begging, though. I’ll do just about anything to make her life easier.
Thankfully, she relents and allows me to step in. “Fine.” She braces her hands on my shoulders, sagging against me. “I’m huge and sore and tired?—”
“You’re perfect,” I murmur, kneeling down so I can help her out of the leggings Ellis brought her. I push her borrowed sweater up as I stand, pausing to press a soft kiss to her rounded belly before gently tugging the garment over her head and tossing it to the floor, leaving her completely naked.
I hover like a mother hen as she steps into the shower, torn between wanting to spill my guts or take this shit to the grave for all eternity.
But my girl’s not having it. Not by a long shot. And she deserves the truth—no matter how uncomfortable it is for me.
“I’m in the shower, Atlas.” I hear the snick of a soap bottle opening. “Now talk.”
I swallow roughly as I slide down the wall until I’m seated on my ass with my legs out in front of me. “You said it was luck that I found you—and the first time, at the motel, I guess you could say it was. But today…”
Fuck, why is this so hard?
“Today what?” she asks, her feather-soft words hitting me square in the gut like a boulder.
I drag my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends. “It’s because of your necklace.”
My half-assed admission is met with silence. I can just picture the confusion written all over her face, and it’s a struggle not to beg her to say something—anything.
But, eventually, she asks, “What about it?”
Here goes nothing…
“It has a GPS chip in it. I used it to track your location. And I know—I know that’s fucked up, Pip. I know it’s a breach of your trust, but I also know I don’t regret it, not even a little, because you’re here and safe and?—”
She whips the curtain open, and my eyes fly up to hers, widening at the sight of her standing there, dripping wet, covered in soap bubbles and bruises, with the compass charm clutched between her trembling fingers.
“This has a tracker in it?” She looks down at the golden compass and then back to me. Confusion, hurt, and disbelief are flashing across her delicate features.
“Nora, baby?—”
She stares down at me, but I don’t think she’s actually seeing me. “Like I’m… Like I’m a dog,” she whispers brokenly.
Her fucking words more than gut me—they crack my ribs, tear me open, and steal my still-beating heart from my chest.
“Absolutely not.” I bolt up from the floor and take a step toward her, only to draw up short when she flinches at my sudden movement.
God, I’m fucking this all up. Get it together, man.
“Like you’re the single most precious thing to ever come into my life.” My voice shakes, but I keep talking. I’m desperate for her to understand. “Like you’re my sole reason for existing. Like you’re the center of my whole world. Don’t you realize that I’ll do anything—and I mean anything —to keep you and our son safe?”
Her entire body trembles as she wraps her arms around herself, and I feel like the biggest asshole to ever walk the planet. All I want to do is climb in the shower with her and wrap her in my arms, to take every ounce of pain she’s feeling away. To remind her just how much I love her.
Watching Nora struggle with my actions—well-intentioned or not—is nearly unbearable. I’d take her pain and make it my own in a heartbeat if I could.
“I love you, Nora.” My voice cracks. “And I know I fucked up. But I meant what I said—I don’t regret it. Not if it means you’re alive. I know you’re probably mad at me. Hell, I deserve it. And I get it if you need space?—”
“Atlas, please stop talking.” Her voice is deadly calm, almost devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
Despite my worry, my lips clamp together like they’ve been superglued, as I wait with my heart in my throat for whatever she says next.
But instead of speaking, she turns away from me, pulls the curtain closed, and finishes her shower.
I want to question her—to demand answers, for her to tell me she loves me. But I swallow down every word that tries to escape. Waiting her out is the least I can do.
I suck in a deep breath and force myself to relax back against the countertop as I exhale.
It feels like hours pass, though it’s probably only minutes before she shuts off the water. I rush forward, and grab the towel, ready to help her over the edge of the tub in case she needs it.
“You’re right,” she whispers as she steps into me. I wrap a towel around her shoulders and hold her against my chest. “You broke my trust, but I know firsthand how stupid fear can make us.”
“I’m so sorry, Pip.”
“I know.” She pulls back and looks up at me. “I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything. Name it.” I mean it too—any-fucking-thing she says, I’ll find a way to do it.
“Don’t lie to me again, Atlas. Not to me, not ever again.”
“Done.” I draw an X over my heart with my fingertip and then seal my vow with a kiss on her forehead.
She smiles up at me, and it’s the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, even if she does look exhausted.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” I ask. I know the answer now, but I still need to hear her say it.
“Of course I do.” She rubs her cheek against my now soaking wet shirt. “I love you. Now please can we get dressed, so we can eat right when Ellis gets back? I’m exhausted and want to sleep for like a year.”
“I know, Pip.” I run one hand up her back in a soothing motion. “C’mon, I’ve got you.”
Nora sags against me before sighing and reluctantly stepping out of my embrace.
I strip off my wet shirt and splash my face and chest with cold water before dragging a towel over myself and following after her.
I glance toward the bed as I step out of the bathroom, half expecting Nora to be curled up asleep, but she’s nowhere in sight.
A sniffle sounds from the closet, and I pivot, poking my head in to check on her.
The vision that greets me causes my heart to thump painfully against my ribs. My girl, who’s fought so damn hard to overcome all of the shit she’s gone through, looks absolutely pitiful.
She’s ghostly pale, which only serves to make the bruises marring her skin stand out even more, and looks like she could fall asleep standing up.
“You need help, Pip?” I ask, making sure to keep my tone soft.
“Please,” she whispers, her voice cracking as she curls her shoulders inward, the way she used to when she wanted to make herself seem smaller.
I fucking hate this. I hate that she’s scared, that she’s hurting. But most of all, I hate that I can’t fix it, that I can’t take her pain away. Because if I could, I would. In a fucking heartbeat.
“You look miserable,” I murmur, as I riffle through the drawers for everything she needs.
“That’s because I am.” A drawn-out yawn punctuates her reply.
I set the pile of clothes on top of the dresser and then take a step closer to my girl, softly running my hands over the towel she’s still wrapped up in, making sure she’s good and dry. “C’mon, pretty girl. Let’s get you bundled up.”
Kneeling before her, I help her into a pair of simple cotton panties, followed by a pair of my sweats, which I have to fold the waistband on twice. Even halfway through her pregnancy, Nora’s tiny.
I cradle her belly between my palms, and press a soft kiss to her taut skin, sending up a silent thanks that our little man is okay before standing and tugging one of my shirts over her head.
“Socks or no socks?”
Nora looks at her bare feet and wiggles her toes. “Socks,” she croaks, and I smile, because we both know she will kick them off in the middle of the night.
I grab her favorite pair from the top drawer and drop down to my knees again, quickly tugging them onto her feet.
“Let me change really quick, okay?”
She nods sleepily, wrapping her arms around her waist as she rests her head against the wall.
I shuck off my jeans and pull on a pair of sweats to match hers and call it good. In all honesty, I’d kill for a shower, but for now, this’ll have to do, because Nora needs me more, and if I’m being honest, the thought of leaving her side for even a second is a hard no at the moment.
“Now, come to the bed so I can help you brush out these knots. Ellis should be home by then, and we can eat, and then we can?—”
“Sleep.”
“That’s right.” I scoop Nora into my arms and carry her bridal style into our bedroom, depositing her gently onto the bed. “Let’s get some food in you and then we can sleep.”