Chapter 4
TYLER
Blake moves out on Saturday, and I spend the rest of the weekend deep cleaning the apartment, and reorganizing shelves and drawers that I used to share with him.
There’s not much to reorganize in the kitchen, as Blake, just like me, isn’t exactly a chef.
I make a mental note to shoot a text to Jamie to check how many things he’ll be bringing over, so I can make more space if needed.
The thought of Jamie makes me smile. I still can’t believe he was looking for a room at the same time as I was looking for a new roommate. Talk about serendipity.
I like to think of myself as someone who gets along with pretty much anyone, but the four people who’d come over to have a look at the room before Jamie were all a hard no, and I was starting to get worried that I’d never find someone decent.
Technically, I didn’t need a roommate. I’m perfectly capable of paying the rent myself.
But as someone who comes from a big family and never lived on his own, I couldn’t really imagine not sharing space with someone else.
Although, I was briefly considering it when this guy, Anton, showed up on Thursday smelling like the pub and bad news, spotted Fiona and said: “Oh great, dinner!” I forced a laugh, having heard the joke way too many times, but the way he licked his lips told me he was serious.
Thankfully, I didn’t give up, and now I have won the roommate lottery.
From what Jamie said, his financial situation might not be great, but at least he has a job, one he’s good at from what I’ve seen.
Definitely not someone who strikes me as a freeloader.
And the way his eyes lit up when I mentioned Fiona basically owning the whole apartment and sleeping in bed with him told me everything I needed to know about his relationship with animals.
But, to be completely honest, to begin with I wasn’t sure if living together would be wise.
We do kinda have a customer/service provider relationship, and that’s a bit of a grey area.
I’m a laid-back guy and I can’t really imagine Jamie seeking out conflict—if anything, he comes across as very reserved—but arguments happen. Did I really want to take the risk?
That was before Jamie casually mentioned that he’s in a pickle because his scum of an ex cheated on him and moved out without accepting any accountability.
In that moment, I felt a rush of, yeah, indignation on Jamie’s behalf, but also something else.
I wanted to help him out, wanted to wipe that resigned expression away.
To show him that his shitty ex actually did him a favor by removing himself from his life.
I was the perfect person to offer Jamie what he needed—a new place where everything was in working order, somewhere he could start fresh, affordable rent, clean space, and last but not least, a friendly, chill roommate.
So I did offer, and Jamie took it. Even after I confessed to him about my…habits.
On that note, I can’t believe how easily he accepted it, no questions asked.
Yes, he seemed taken aback, naturally. But there was no judgment in his eyes, no…
disgust. Which, frankly, makes me feel a bit bad about the whole thing.
Jamie seems so sweet, almost innocent. I don’t mean as a virgin, that’s just a stupid social construct.
I mean the type of person you wanna protect, to put in your pocket and carry them around, or pet them on the head when they do something to make you proud.
I laugh, realizing this is lowkey how I feel about Fiona. I have to say, Jamie has the vibe. Cute and fluffy, will make you laugh by doing something unexpected, but will take time to relax around you.
Yeah, he’s sweet and innocent, like a bunny. And he’ll have to tolerate me fucking my way through the week, because that’s the only way to keep my hormones happy. Well, that and exercise, although that’s like giving an apple to someone who’s craving chocolate. Not ideal, just a coping mechanism.
I don’t know why I feel so anxious about Jamie’s reaction.
I never had to overthink this when I was moving in with Blake.
Maybe it’s because I’d known him for a while before that?
Or the fact that he always makes jokes regarding my condition, which ironically puts me at ease. And let’s not forget—he’s straight.
Jamie, if I’m understanding his situation correctly, is gay. That will make the whole thing even more awkward for him, no? I can’t imagine he’ll be thrilled to see girls coming and going, and having to overhear heterosexual sex. Or maybe he’s bi?
Either way, I should try to be as considerate as possible. I’ll make sure to memorize his working hours and try to schedule my, erhm, appointments for when he’s not here. It won’t always work, sometimes the urge hits me out of nowhere and I have to resolve it ASAP, but I can do my best.
Especially since I get the feeling that Jamie and I will get along really, really well.
Monday rolls around, and I spend most of my workout obsessively checking the clock.
9:35. I still have time before I need to leave to get to the clinic on time.
Normally, I enjoy exercise, crave it even, but today’s session drags.
I didn’t think I’d be so excited to get a massage, but I guess my body needs it more than I suspected.
When the clock hits 9:40, I say, “Fuck it,” leave the last set of RDLs unfinished, and fly through my cool down routine. I hop in the shower, throw my clothes on, and make my way to my car.
I arrive at the clinic with ten minutes to spare. Walking inside, I can’t help the huge smile that stretches my lips. As always, Jamie is behind the desk, a headset on, a serious expression on his face as he speaks to someone on the other end of the line.
I approach the desk just as he hangs up, releasing a deep exhale. He startles when he notices me, and I offer a sheepish smile in apology.
“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you, sorry. And hi.”
Jamie lets out a short laugh. “No need to apologize. I wasn’t paying attention. Hi,” he says back. “How’s your day been so far?”
I don’t love how…sterile that question is, or the fact that Jamie seems to be avoiding my eyes. Does he find it weird that we’re going to be roommates? Or is he…thinking of what I admitted to him on Friday?
Either way, this won’t do.
I step closer, resting my forearms on the counter.
Jamie’s gaze goes directly to my hands, as it always does.
It’s either my hands, or my chest or, on the occasions that I wear sweats, it’s my crotch.
I’ve noticed him staring before, it would be hard not to, and suspected that he’s into guys, but now that I have confirmation, it hits different.
A part of me wants him to look. Is it vanity?
Narcissism? Whatever, I don’t particularly care to dissect it.
I’ve always enjoyed attention, and knowing that Jamie finds me attractive (as he so shyly admitted on Friday) does something to me.
Plus, he always gets flustered and blushes, especially when I get close. It’s seriously endearing.
I summon my trademark charming smile. “It’s been pretty good,” I tell him. “I’ve been in a good mood since Friday when I found out this super cool guy will be moving in as my new roommate.”
That successfully gets his attention, his baby blues fixing on my face. “Oh. Congratulations.” He licks his lips. “I bet he can’t wait to move in.”
My smile widens. “Yeah? You think?”
“Positive.” He returns the smile, although his is smaller, with a timid edge. “I doubt he could find a better roommate than you.”
I feel weight falling off my chest that I hadn’t realized was even there. Good to know he’s actually looking forward to moving in with me. Not as a last resort because of his situation, but because he wants to. Despite my situation.
I quit the game. “Speaking of, I have someone coming this afternoon to clean the carpet, and then the room is all yours. You can move in whenever.”
“Oh. Thanks, that’s great. But, um, I need to stay at my place until Friday, since that’s when the rent is paid til.”
I shake my head. “I know it is. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay there.”
“But—”
“You don’t have to pay two rents, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Of course that’s what he’s worried about. “The room is available, and I’m happy to have you move in anytime.”
“Really?” he asks, stunned. “Okay, um…yeah, sure. I guess I can start moving my things in. I don’t have much, as I told you, but I’ll need to make a few trips. Probably after work.”
I nod, satisfied. The apartment is too quiet without another person, and Fiona hopping around isn’t enough to fill it.
“Great. Let me know when you finish and I can help you move. I’m sure we could take everything in one trip, two max.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to worry about that. I can just call—”
“Don’t be silly, Jamie,” I cut in gently. “Just let me help. That way, you’ll have one less thing to stress about.”
He clearly has a hard time asking for help, or even accepting it.
I feel the same surge of…something…as I did when he told me about being cheated on.
It’s strange, because I’ve never reacted like this to another person.
Jamie’s just…I don’t want to say fragile.
He’s not. He’s not made of glass. But he looks like someone people could easily take an advantage of, or dismiss. The possibility makes me angry.
Jamie lowers his gaze, then looks up at me through his eyelashes. “Okay. Thank you, that would be great.” He smiles again, a dimple appearing in his cheek. I feel strangely compelled to poke it with my finger, but thankfully, I have more self-control than that.
I tap the counter. “It’s settled, then. Just text me when you’re ready to do it.”
Jamie blushes again, I’m not sure why. Then he clears his throat and steers his gaze towards the computer screen. “So, a massage with Riley, right?”