Chapter 22
TYLER
Pulling up in front of Jamie’s clinic, I brake a little too hard, making the car jerk violently. The inertia propels my body forward, digging the seatbelt into my chest.
“Ouchie.” I turn to Jamie with a proud smile. “Told you we’d make it.”
He doesn’t look impressed in the slightest, which, rude. But his disgruntled face is so endearing, I can’t help but grin wider.
“Great, except you almost took out that poor granny at the crossing.”
Unbuckling his seatbelt, he rubs his shoulder where it must have irritated his skin. Oh, now I feel bad.
“She was slow. And I had a green light.”
“She had a cane!”
“Exactly. Should’ve walked faster with three legs.”
He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. Then he lets out a snort. “You’re ridiculous.” He leans over the console to kiss the corner of my mouth. “Thank you for the ride.” His eyes narrow. “Although I was almost late because of you.”
“Excuse you. I wasn’t the one putting his ass on display, begging to get railed.”
“I wasn’t putting it on display, I was trying to put my shoes on!”
Yeah, and what a hot sight that was. Somehow, Jamie manages to make the most mundane things look sexy. So this is totally his fault.
“Well, next time find a less compromising position to do it. I’m just a man.”
“An animal. A very horny one.”
I chuckle, and let my voice drop low, knowing very well how that affects him. “That’s how you like it, though, isn’t it?”
After what happened last week, I’ve made some adjustments. I never thought that saying no to sex once would cause Jamie to spiral so badly, would cause him to think that I didn’t want him anymore. I was trying to hold back for his sake, but I ended up hurting him.
So, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and act on my instincts. If Jamie needs constant reassurance that he’s very much wanted, I’m all too happy to indulge him. Hell, I’ll indulge him in the doorway, as he learned this morning. Don’t have to be asked twice. Don’t have to be asked at all.
A beautiful shiver rocks through him, and he releases a shaky breath. “Yeah.” He licks his lips, eyes flicking up to meet mine. “I love it.”
“I know you do. Needy little bunny.” I tuck a short strand of hair behind his ear, pausing to stroke the soft skin on his neck.
I feel his pulse quicken under my hand. The way he peers up at me through his eyelashes, his pupils already dilated, is really testing my self-control.
His breath smells of the berry pancakes we had for breakfast, and fuck, I could just eat him up.
How could he ever think he’s not wanted? So ridiculous.
I drop a chaste kiss on his sweet mouth and pull back quickly. “Go. Before I lose control and make you ride me right here.”
The order doesn’t have the desired effect—or maybe it does? Jamie’s lips part, his gaze dropping to my lap. Yup, I’m hard. Again. Or still? I can’t keep up. The way Jamie’s looking at me like he’s two seconds away from climbing over the console and sitting on my dick doesn’t help at all.
“Jamie,” I warn, in what I hope is a stern voice, but I probably just sound like I’m begging.
He whines, squirming in the seat. “You can’t say stuff like that and expect me to be cool.” His lower lip sticks out in a cute pout. It’s illegal for a grown man to be this adorable.
He sighs, adjusts his pants, and opens the door, throwing me a smile over his shoulder before getting out. “See you tonight.”
“Yes, you will. Don’t work too hard, you’ll need your energy.”
He rolls his eyes, but is helpless to hide the flush rising to his neck and face. So. Freaking. Adorable.
“Animal,” he mumbles. I watch him walk to the clinic, noting smugly that his gait is a little stiff.
I laugh, rubbing a hand over my face, and start the engine.
God, how did we end up here, like this? How did I end up here? I don’t mean in front of Jamie’s workplace—I know how I got here, and it was by speeding.
I mean; how did I manage to find someone, without even looking, who not only puts up with my needs but matches them? Even better—someone who likes that part of me?
I’ve never been ashamed, per se, about my condition. There are so many sex-crazed creeps who are convinced that the world owes them something. They don’t have an ounce of respect nor empathy, treating others like glorified sex dolls instead of actual people with feelings.
I might not be perfect, but I’m not like that. Never have been. I have some…regrets, memories I wish I could rewrite, but who doesn’t? My mistakes taught me how to do things right, or at least better than before.
That being said, I’ve never been able to get rid of this niggly feeling that no matter how hard I try, I’ll always end up taking more than I can give back.
That it will always be like this, because I will always be like this.
That feeling is why I’ve been single for over five years, coping through booty calls and exercise and generally keeping busy.
I thought I’d been doing well. But now that Jamie is in the picture, it’s obvious that I’ve been merely surviving.
It’s not just sex, either. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed simply touching someone beyond friendly pats and bro slaps. How much I’ve missed the warmth of another person next to me. How much I’ve missed someone staying, instead of hastily throwing their clothes on the second we’re done.
What makes it even better is that Jamie seems to relate. There are times when he clings on like a monkey after I’ve made him come all over himself. Even outside the bedroom, when I reach for him, he leans into me as if he’s been waiting for me to touch him all along.
I love it. It’s everything I convinced myself I didn’t need.
But it does make me wonder what made Jamie so touch starved.
I know why I am like this. The obvious aside, there’s also the fact that my family aren’t big on hugs.
Any kind of physical affection, really. That doesn’t mean they’re not affectionate people, only that they express it differently.
We still hug when we see each other after a long time, of course, but that’s as far as it goes, especially now that we are all grown up.
Being the clinger in the family who gets his fix from touch, this is something I’ve always had to cope with.
Is Jamie’s story similar to mine? He doesn’t talk about his family much.
Which is kind of annoying, because I want to know more.
I want him to confide in me more. I just…
want to get to know him better. What I already know, I like a lot.
So of course I want to expand on it, beyond what happens in the bedroom.
As I’m pulling up into my designated parking spot, my phone rings. Seeing Lia’s name pop up is a nice surprise. College has been kicking her butt, so it’s been a while since we talked.
I swipe up to accept the videocall while I wait for the elevator.
“’sup, squirt? How come you’re not in class?”
“Don’t call me that!” she barks in lieu of a greeting. That combined with her disgruntled expression makes me laugh. “I’m sick. And bored.”
“Yeah, you look like shit,” I admit after a closer inspection. Her hair is greasy and tangled, her nose red and eyes puffy. Like this, she looks fifteen again, not twenty-one.
“Fuck you,” she snaps and promptly coughs. As an older sibling, it’s my duty to be sympathetic to her predicament while giving her a hard time. It’s all about balance.
At least when I get in the elevator no one is there to witness our loving conversation.
“Is that how you talk to your favorite brother?”
“You’re not my favorite.”
“I’m your only brother!”
“And yet, not my favorite.”
“You little shit.” A laugh bursts out of me just as the elevator opens on my floor. I let myself into the apartment and flop onto the couch on my back, crossing my legs over the opposite armrest. “What have you been doing to end up like this?”
“Nothing! It’s Zara’s fault! Her spawns brought some nasty bug home from kindergarten, and she thought it was a great idea to come visit.”
“Spawns.” I snort. “Those are your nieces you’re talking about.”
“Disease carriers,” she grumbles without heat. She doesn’t like kids, but naturally loves being an auntie, as long as she can return the ‘spawns’ to their creators after a few hours. “Anyways, I’m bored. Entertain me.”
Bossy and demanding as always. In fact, I swear it’s getting worse.
I roll my eyes, then nearly have a heart attack when Fiona jumps on my stomach out of nowhere.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I yelp, then laugh hysterically at my exaggerated reaction. “You’re a freaking ninja,” I inform Fiona, stroking between her ears when she lowers her head in a silent demand. What’s with everyone being so bossy today?
“Who are you talking to?”
I flip the camera around. “Fiona says hi.” On cue, Fiona’s pink nose twitches and she nudges the phone, so Lia gets a proper close up.
“Aww, precious baby,” Lia coos. “I miss her. I should come visit soon, huh?”
“Listen to this, Fiona. She loves you more than me.”
“Duh, look at how cute she is!”
“That’s true.” She is cute. Cute, and sweet, and needy, and keeps looking up at me with those big eyes…like someone else I know. “Well, if you come visit, I’ll introduce you to someone.”
Momentarily forgetting she’s sick, Lia leaps up from under the covers, her gaze sharp and alert, not glazed over with ‘disease’ anymore. “Who is she?! How come I’m only hearing about this now?!”
Okay, my fault for saying something so ambiguous to the biggest gossip girl on the planet. “You know, in court you’ll need to be a bit more composed when demanding answers.” I quickly carry on when it looks like she’s gonna fire more questions at me. “And I’m talking about my roommate. Jamie.”
It feels weird to call him my roommate. We’re so much more than that, but it’s not like I can get into details, with my sister of all people.
She blinks, then flops dramatically back on the bed. “Next time lead with that! I got excited for nothing.” She gives me a glare. “What happened to Blake?”
“Moved in with his girlfriend.”