Chapter 27 Nate
NATE
I’m just packing up the last of my books when the door to my office bangs open.
I glance up, expecting to see Dr. Travers, who’s already left me three messages begging me to reconsider. But the curmudgeonly old professor is not who I see standing before me.
“Angel?”
“What’s going on?” Harper asks, her breathing labored. So labored that she bends over, clutching her knees as she tries to catch her breath.
“Hey.” I move towards her automatically, my desire to take care of her pulsing just as strongly as it always has. I help her into a chair in front of my desk and take the seat next to her. “Take it easy, angel. Tell me what’s wrong?”
She looks up at me with wide, worried eyes. “You tell me! Does everyone know?”
I’m sure I look as confused as I feel. “Does everyone know what?”
“About us!”
I cast a glance at the still open door then get up, checking the empty hall quickly before I shut it. It would be just my luck for someone to find out about us now, of all times.
I return to my seat, watching her carefully. She’s still breathing heavily, a pretty flush on her chest and cheeks. God, she’s so beautiful. Without thinking, I reach out to run a fingertip over her collarbone, a rush of satisfaction hitting me when her breath catches. I still affect her.
“Why do you think everyone knows?”
She shakes her head, her expression telling me that I’m being incredibly dense. “Because you got fired!”
A grin tugs at my lips. “No, I didn’t.”
“But I was just down in the classroom and the other students told me the research project has been cancelled. That you’re leaving.
” She reaches out to clutch my hand but I can’t focus on how good her skin feels against mine, not with the panic I can see in her eyes.
“What happened? Why are they making you take a leave?”
“That’s what you think?” I shake my head. “I try to make the big romantic gesture, and here you are, giving someone else the credit.” Confusion takes over her expression and I squeeze the hand still in mine. “I requested to go on leave this morning.”
The confusion doesn’t leave her face. “You requested it? Why?”
“You want the official reason, or the real one?” Apparently, Harper is too bewildered to respond, so I continue.
“I told my dean that I need the time to research and rework the central question of the project. I explained that I was having some personal issues that would make it difficult for me to take on that work while teaching.”
“Personal issues?”
I watch her carefully. “Telling him I was too destroyed over a woman to leave my house sounded a bit like an overshare.”
Harper’s mouth pops open in shock and I can’t help but grin. “They weren’t really happy about it,” I continue. “But I told them it wasn’t a request. If they didn’t grant the leave, I’d have to quit.”
She shakes her head, unblinking, confusion clear in her eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“I can’t work here and still get what I want. So I took care of it.”
“You took care of it.” Her tone is flat, making it hard for me to tell what she’s thinking. “By quitting?”
“No. They decided they would prefer to lose me for a while and keep me on staff, rather than lose me for good.”
“How long?”
I shrug. “Until you finish your program.”
I can see the moment it all sinks in for her, the realization that I did this for her. For us.
“That’s two years,” she whispers.
“I can afford to forgo a paycheck for two years. Besides, it will give me lots of time to research my book.” I offer her a grin. “I’m going to need it, now that I won’t have a team of interns doing the grunt work.”
“Nate…” she trails off, her mouth opening and closing a few times, like she can’t figure out what to say. So I do what I do best—I take the lead.
“Listen to me, Harper Cain,” I tell her, leaning in close.
Close enough to smell the familiar vanilla and rose fragrance that clings to her skin and hair.
God, I’ve missed the way she smells. It’s such a relief, being this close, that I can’t speak for a moment.
I swallow a few times, trying to gather myself.
My voice is strong when I continue. “I need you in my life. But even more than that, I need you to be happy. And I don’t think you would be happy if you don’t finish your program. So I needed to figure out a way for you to do that. This seemed like my best option.”
“You quit…for me?”
“Took a leave of absence,” I correct gently, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “An unpaid leave of absence, but still. I’ll have a job waiting once you have your master’s degree.”
“And you did that for me.”
She seems stuck on this point, and I feel a rush of regret that I ever allowed her to believe that I wouldn’t do something like this for her. That I wouldn’t do so much more—wouldn’t do anything within my power to take care of her.
I place my hands on her cheeks, cradling her precious face in my palms, relishing the feel of her soft skin, the way her breathing picks up a little at the contact. “Harper, I’m in love with you. I want to be with you. I want you to be happy. That’s really all there is to it.”
“What about…what you said that morning—”
I place a finger over her mouth. I don’t want to think about that morning, not when I’m so close to finally making it right, to winning her back. Please, God, let me get her back.
“I was stupid that morning. Stupid and scared. Scared I was going to hurt you, that I wasn’t strong enough to take care of you. That I wasn’t what you needed.”
“And now?”
I stare into her warm brown eyes, gathering every bit of confidence and self-assuredness that I possess. “Now I know that there’s no one else who can care for you the way I do. No one else who understands you the same way. No one else who can give you what I can give you.”
“And what’s that?” she whispers, breathless. “What can you give me that no one else can?”
I can tell from the way her eyes keep darting down to my mouth, so close now, that she’s as affected by this moment as I am.
And God, does it make me want her. I want to take her right here on my desk, against the door, directly in front of the window where anyone could see.
I want to claim her for the entire world to know.
To turn her into a whimpering, needy little thing who can only be satisfied by me. Her lover. Her protector. Her dominant.
“I can give you everything,” I say simply.
“I can give you every single thing you need.” If her body’s response to me isn’t enough to prove that, my own actions this morning tell me everything I need to know.
I would sacrifice for this woman, would give up anything I have just to make things right for her.
She’s the only thing I have that matters.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” I whisper. “I should have fought for us with Mason. I should have put in my leave weeks ago.”
She shakes her head. “I shouldn’t have offered to quit school.
” Something seems to strengthen in her eyes.
“I’m not a weak person, but I acted weak that day.
I understand why you would think it was best for me to go.
” Then her features harden and she pulls my hands from her face, squeezing them firmly between her palms. “But I can promise you right now, you leaving will never be the best thing for me.”
“I know,” I say quickly. “I figured that out.”
Her eyes remain hard. “Don’t you ever do it again.”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so proud of someone as I do with Harper in that moment. Here she is, my brave, beautiful girl, reaching out and taking exactly what she wants. Expressing her needs, her boundaries. And she couldn’t be more clear—no more running. No more getting scared.
That’s a promise I can easily make.
“Since when do you boss me around?” I ask, a laugh forming deep inside.
She narrows her eyes, but I can see the humor hiding behind the surface. “You might be the big scary alpha dom, Nate, but you clearly need me around to tell you what’s what.”
I stare into her eyes, the desire to laugh fading away, obliterated by the deep truth of her statement. “You have no idea how right you are.”
“Then let’s make sure I’m always around.” She whispers. And then, finally, I’m kissing her, desperate and relieved all at once. I try to put every emotion I have into that kiss, needing her to know how sorry I am, how much I missed her, how hard I’ll fight from this day on.
My hands slide around her back, yanking her close, so hard that she gasps against my mouth. The sound lights my blood on fire, the feel of her beneath my hands making my heart pound harder, the sweet slide of her tongue against mine making me insane with want.
“Lock the door,” she pants against my mouth, and I break the connection, pulling back enough to look down at her.
“Again,” I say, my voice harder now, more controlling, “Since when do you boss me around? I’m pretty sure that’s not the way this works, angel.”
Her face is filled with happiness as she looks up at me. “It has been a while. Maybe I’ve forgotten how it works.”
The sassy little glint in her eyes fills my chest with warmth. God, do I love this woman. I stand abruptly, moving to lock the door. Then I turn around to face her.
“By all means, Harper,” I tell her, my eyes never leaving hers as I prowl slowly across the room. She shivers a little and I have to fight back a grin. “Let me remind you exactly how it works.”
And I spend the next half hour doing just that.